Because of Mariana
There was a somber sadness yet an odd sense of comfort that filled the car as they approached the cemetery. She stole a glance at her son from the mirror in the visor. He was staring out the window and she could feel the heaviness in his heart. He had seen so much in his life yet something about this young woman had captured him unlike anything else. It was as if it had been a form of therapy for him trying to figure out part of himself while trying to get answers for her. In the end the resolution had not been perfect but they rarely are and learning to live with the good is a valuable lesson.
Then she glanced over at the man next to her driving the car and studied him for a minute. In contrast to her son he seemed at peace with the resolution. The wisdom of age and experience had shown him that this outcome was better than so many he had seen. Of course he had been processing this young woman's death for over a year now. The injustice of a girl being murdered and not having anyone who could even tell them her name had impacted him greatly.
Sharon reached over and ran her hand over his briefly and he looked at her with a smile. They didn't need to say anything it was just a reminder of what they now shared was more than it was a year ago. Sharon stared out the window thinking back to the day they found Mariana's body. It was the day she told Jack she wanted a divorce. It was the day she told Rusty that he was her son and she always wanted it to be that way. It was the day she decided she was tired of just existing and that she was ready to move on and see what life had to offer her.
As they pulled into the cemetery she couldn't help but think back to the service they held for Alice as they knew her then. Before that service she couldn't help but contrast Andy and Jack. Jack had been a completely selfish ass when the subject of adopting Rusty came up. Trying even to manipulate Rusty against the idea of adoption. Yet there was Andy so moved by compassion for this girl he didn't even know that he had arranged a memorial service for her. The day of that service was the first time she remembered feeling something for him. She remembered more than anything she just wanted to touch him. She wanted to offer him comfort and she didn't know how. Without thinking she had almost reached for his hand that day as they stood next to each other in the chapel. Instead she had leaned into him and gently bumped his shoulder with her own causing him to smile a smile that she could feel in her toes. Without a doubt something between them had changed that day. Truthfully because on Mariana So much had changed in the last year.
And so here they stood again finally laying Mariana as they now knew her to rest. Today she was the one whose emotions were so frayed. This week she has notified a friend that her son was dead and then watched that friend come to realize a terrible truth about that same son. She was watching her own son learn to stand on his own and make all of the mistakes and learn so many hard truths that came with that. She watched Gus come to terms with the fact that not perusing a relationship with his other sister was the better thing for her. Today all of these things had her the one in search of comfort, only today she didn't hesitate. Today as they walked by with Mariana's casket she reached over for his hand. He looked at her briefly to make sure and read her eyes as their fingers intertwined and they walked hand in hand to say goodbye.
After the service she stood with Rusty as he talked about what Alice had meant to him and how grieved that he could never tell her that. Alice had shown him so much about himself. Because of Alice for the first time he was dealing with the realities of what could have happened to him on the street. Her self-assured, over confident son was realizing his how lucky he had been. Watching him she knew this experience had changed him. It was one of those experiences that was growing him up in the right ways, making him care about others more than himself. She touched his face and wished she could take some of the pain from him. As a mother though, she had learned years ago that there was some pain you had to let your children work through so that they could grow and that was where Rusty was now. She watched as he walked away with Lieutenant Provenza feeling so grateful for the relationship that the two of them shared.
As Rusty walked away Andy approached her offering her that soft smile that asked nothing of her other than for her to let him be there for her. It was the same way he looked at her when Stroh had escaped only now she wouldn't close him out like she did then. She didn't try to hide all of the feelings from showing on her face instead she simply looked at him and reached for his hand that she knew would be settling on her hip.
The others left and Andy pulled her to himself in a soothing hug. They stood there for several minutes neither saying a word but simply being grateful for the other's presence and the intimacy that they now shared. She leaned up and looked at him briefly before laying her head back just below his shoulder. If he hadn't seen her lips moving he would have doubted that she had actually said anything. He smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you too" he whispered back.
Shandy-Shandy-Shandy-Shandy
Wow, what an amazing ride the first half of this season has been! I could not have asked Duff and his team for anything better. I am so thankful for to all of you for reading and for the reviews. I am also especially thankful for the fantastic friends that I have formed because of this fandom. I luff you crazy ladies!