Title: Starts with Goodbye
Rating: R
Summary: Sometimes it starts with Goodbye but ends with a promise….
Spoilers: Season 3
Notes: Big Thanks and hugs to Hannah for her excellent beta skills and for encouraging me to write more fic. :D Feedback always appreciated!
"Thank you, Goodnight." Joanna Harvelle called out with little enthusiasm as the last customer of the night left. She plonked her tray down on the stained bar counter and went to retrieve more dirty glasses.
"Looks like that's it for the night, Jo." Her boss said locking the front door. "You can take off early if you want."
Jo smiled, delighted at the idea of an early night for a change. "Are you sure?" She asked though she was hoping he didn't change his mind.
"Go on. Have fun. It's been a busy week." He encouraged her and held his hand out for her apron. He smiled when she hurried to pull the worn strings free. Jo wanted to kiss the white bearded man, who she affectionately named St Nick, and went to grab her jacket from behind the bar.
"Thanks Nick. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Hang on." Nick called out stopping her before she reached the door. "I meant to tell you earlier. Some guy came in around lunchtime asking 'bout you. He said he was your brother but I know you don't have one so I told him I didn't know a Jo and to beat it." He looked at her with concern embedded in his small brown eyes. "You're not in any trouble are you?"
Jo shook her head, curious as to who would claim to be her brother. She wondered if it was another hunter sent by her mom to check on her. "Did he have a name?"
"Said his name was Hasselhoff and I didn't believe it for a second. He must'a thought I was born yesterday." He shrugged. "Just do me a favour and be careful walking home, kid."
"I'll be fine. It's barely two blocks." Jo assured him and waved as she headed outside. She shrugged her jacket on and was relieved to find that the rain had now reduced to a light sprinkle. With her thoughts lost on who the mystery stalker was, she was unaware that she was being followed.
A couple of teenagers loitered around a convenience store at the end of her street and she nodded to one of them who had tried to use his fake ID on her the night before. He grinned at her and received an elbow to his ribs from his girlfriend. Jo pulled her keys out of her pocket as she reached the steps of her apartment building. She could see hear her landlords TV blaring through the walls as she opened the glass security doors and slipped into the brightly lit hallway.
Jo checked her mailbox. Tugging out the crinkled envelopes she flipped them over to see who they were from when a shadow caught her attention. She looked through the security door and craned her neck to see if she could see anyone.
The street outside was deserted.
Shrugging, she stuffed her mail into her jacket pocket and headed up two flights of stairs to her apartment. Once inside she shed her jacket and headed to her bedroom to change out of her beer stained jeans. Turning on the light, she went about kicking off her shoes and rummaging around her chest of draws until she found a clean pair of sweat pants. Tugging the pants on, she pulled the elastic out of her hair and threw her jeans into the wash basket. Yawning, Jo headed back into the kitchen in search of some food. Opening the fridge door, she shifted mouldy takeout boxes aside in the hopes of finding something edible.
"You know you really should try buying some actual food."
Jo froze. "Well Dean, you really should try knocking first." She reached into the fridge and grabbed a cup of water. When she turned around she hurled the contents at him.
Dean blinked holy water out of his eyes. "Guess I deserved that." He said and used his sleeve to wipe the excess water out of his eyes. "How'd you know it was me?"
"I'd know that cologne anywhere." She shut the fridge door with her foot and crossed her hands over her chest. "Whiskey and gun powder." She frowned when he grinned at her. "What are you doing here?" She asked stepping around him to turn on some lights.
"Aren't you going to check if I'm a shape shifter?" He asked.
"Don't need too." She said pointing to the white symbols above her front door. "You wouldn't have gotten in if you were."
"Right." He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a half filled bottle of whiskey. "Want a nightcap after a long shift?"
"You're Hasslehoff?" Jo asked unimpressed as he went to her kitchen cabinets and rummaged around for glasses like he owned the place.
"I've been called worse." He admitted and found the glasses. He put them on the table and began pouring. "Don't you get sick of working at bars?"
"Don't Winchesters know how to mind their own business?"
"Funny." He smirked and handed her a glass. "Cheers." He said and knocked his drink back in one gulp.
Jo glared at him, slightly unnerved by his attitude. There was something about the way he held himself. It was different. Almost like he was wound so tight he was about to snap. Jo took a small sip of her drink. She didn't think she wanted to be around when he snapped.
"How's things?" He asked pouring himself another glass.
"Dean."
"Jo." He imitated her and smirked.
"What are you doing here?" She demanded. He didn't answer her; instead he knocked back another mouthful of whiskey and started to pour another one. Jo reached out to take the bottle but he snatched it away from her.
"Can't a guy just drop in and see an old friend?"
"Old friend, huh?" She asked through gritted teeth. "Funny I don't recall us ever being friends."
"Aww, don't be like that." He teased and waved his glass at her. "Come on, have a drink. Relax. Unwind. Put you're feet up."
"What's wrong with you?" Jo asked now worried. He didn't bother with a glass this time; he just took a swig directly from the bottle. "Where's Sam?" Jo didn't like the way he was behaving. It wasn't Dean. There was no sparkle in his eye and when he smiled it was more like he was leering.
"Asleep at the hotel downtown."
"Are you on a hunt?"
"You could say that." He answered and wandered off to explore her apartment. Jo put her glass down and followed him. He trailed down her hallway inspecting the bathroom as he went. When he reached her room he paused briefly before walking in. Jo gritted her teeth.
"What are you doing?" She asked him.
"You have girly things." He told her in an amused voice. He wandered around her room poking at a vase of daises and running his bruised knuckles against the mahogany chest of draws. He picked up a bottle of perfume, brought it to his nose and inhaled before putting it down clumsily. He took another swig of whiskey.
Jo grew uneasy. She didn't like him touching her things and judging her. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Will you get out already?"
"Why?" He asked and sat down on the edge of her bed. He prodded the soft white throw cushions and bounced slowly up and down. "I was just curious."
Jo raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He looked up at her and grinned, but the smile never reached his eyes. She didn't like what she saw in his eyes, they were dark and haunted. But more than that - they looked lost. It clicked. She knew why he was here and why he was acting so strange. "I know about your deal, Dean."
He froze halfway between another sip. He shrugged and resumed his drink. "Yeah, who doesn't?" He asked her and put the bottle on her nightstand. "So you just gonna stand there or are we gonna do this?"
"You didn't honestly think you could get into my pants with cheap whiskey did you?" She asked, her heart beating faster.
"Maybe." He looked at her hopefully until he saw the murderous look she was giving him. "I shouldn't have come." He stated, lowering his eyes and stumbling to his feet.
"That's right, you shouldn't." She lectured him. He pushed past her and then paused. He turned around suddenly. Jo bit her lip and lowered her hands. "Dean." She started.
"I forgot my drink." He slipped past her and headed back over to her bed and grabbed his bottle. He took another swig and turned to head back out the door. Jo let him, her teeth grinding and her temper raging inside her. "Thanks for the drink Joanna."
He was halfway towards her front door when she called out to him. "Dean, wait."
He turned around and she noticed with disapproval that there was a smirking. "Yeah?"
"I'm not going to sleep with you." She told him while walking towards him. He huffed looking disappointed and turned to go. "But I'm not going to let you drive to the hotel."
"I'd like to see you try and stop me." He threatened and his eyes widened when she pulled out his keys from her pocket and dangled them before him. "You sneaky little-"
"I'm doing this for the impalas sake." Jo instructed him and put the keys back in her pocket. "She doesn't deserve to be wrapped around a pole. She's too good for that." She told him and headed down the hallway. "I'll get you some blankets for the couch."
"I can drive better than anyone drunk." He called out after her defensively.
Jo came back into the room carrying soft looking canary yellow blankets. She laid a sheet down on the couch and propped the pillows at one end. Dean watched her between mouthfuls of whiskey. She picked up the TV remote, switched the TV on behind him and tossed the remote onto the pillows. "Good night Dean."
She had left the room before she heard him mumble good night. Jo locked the bathroom door behind her and lent against the door with a heavy sigh. Shaking her head she switched on the fan and turned on the shower. Her mind was awash with thoughts as she stripped quickly and stepped under the spray. When she had finished her shower she could hear him snoring loudly while she crept from the bathroom to her bedroom.
She dressed for bed, choosing not to dress in her old torn t-shirt and instead favoured a cotton spaghetti strapped nightie. She shut her bedroom door and was tempted to lock it. After listening to his deep snores for five minutes, she opened her bedroom door a crack and climbed in to bed.
Jo glanced at the digital numbers on her bedside table. Frustrated she rolled onto her side and tried to ignore the chainsaw down the hall. Her hands drifted under her pillow and she fingered the small hunting knife under her pillow. With a sigh she tried to ignore the desire simmering in between her legs and tried not to regret her earlier decision to not sleep with him. She knew deep down that it would have been a mistake and that he would break her heart once he had finished with her. She refused to be another meaningless notch in his belt. With that thought in mind Jo fell into a restless sleep.
It was a couple of hours later when Dean's stomach decided to take action and revolt against him. Dean was on his feet before he was fully conscious and sprinted to the bathroom. He barely made it before he threw up. He choked and leant forward trying to breathe as he continued to be sick. He clutched his stomach in pain and tried to remain upright.
"Dean?" He didn't turn to look at her. He couldn't. Instead he squeezed his eyes shut mortified and clung on for dear life. He coughed and his head exploded with pain. He moaned in agony before promptly throwing up again. When he was finished he heard the sound of water running beside him. He looked up only to see her place a cool damp washcloth to his forehead. Dean leant into her hand grateful for the relief. Small fingers wound into his hair and he felt his stomach muscles relax as she stroked his head in soothing strokes. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "That's it, you're ok." She whispered and leant forward and flushed the toilet.
She removed the washcloth and he stood on shaky legs to wash his mouth out in the sink. He leant against the sink heavily feeling like the room was spinning. "Kill me." He moaned, staring at his pale shaken face in the mirror.
"Come on." He felt her tug his arm and he turned around and allowed himself to be pulled along. It was when she switched on a lamp that he realised they were in her room. He looked at her confused and she pulled the covers aside. "Go on, get in and get warm." She told him. His stomach gurgled and he hurried to comply. He was surprised by the softness of the mattress and caught himself before he moaned out loud. She turned the light off and he settled back into the pillows.
He listened as she left the room and went into the kitchen. He heard the tinkling of glass and he felt the tug of sleep. His stomach gurgled again and he gripped onto the mattress praying that he wasn't going to be sick again. The mattress dipped beside him and he felt her hands on his bicep. "Wha?" He asked confused as she tugged him into a sitting position.
"Drink this, it'll settle your stomach." He shook his head. He didn't want to drink anything ever again. She shoved a cool glass in his hand and he sniffed the glass. It smelt like lemons. "Trust me, you'll feel better." She promised and he took a sip. Bubbles tickled his nose and his tongue recoiled in disgust but he continued to drink it. When he finished the small amount of liquid he let out a big burp.
"Sorry." He murmured and she took the glass from his hand.
"You're supposed to do that." She told him and instructed him to lie back. The liquid sloshed around in his stomach and he froze. He waited for the lurching but it never came. He felt her tuck the blankets around him and lean back. Dean wondered vaguely if he had passed out on the bathroom and he was now dreaming. Her body was soft and warm beside him as she lay on her side.
"Mmm." Her small hands descended on his skull again and smoothed away the frown lines on his forehead. His body slowly relaxed. Dean figured he must have fallen asleep until he felt the gentlest of kisses placed on his forehead. He sighed.
"Sweet dreams, Dean." He heard her whisper in his ear and his mind drifted back to a time when a similar blonde had whispered those same words into his four year old ears.
Jo woke the next morning to something tickling her neck. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and looked down. A large hand wound under her nightgown cupping her breast. Jo rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder to spy a sleeping Dean with a blissful smile on his face. She tried to move out from under his arm when his rough hand whispered over her nipples instantly rendering them hard. She swallowed back the desire and tried to slip free when his voice stopped her.
"Where you going?" He asked sleepily pulling her back to his chest and burying his face in her hair.
"I need to go to the bathroom. Go back to sleep." She told him and struggled to remove his arm front her waist. He mumbled something unintelligible and she nearly ripped her hair out trying to break free. Slipping out of bed she yanked her nightgown back down and headed to the bathroom with a yawn.
Outside the rain pelted against her window and she closed the bathroom door. When she finished she ran a toothbrush over her teeth quickly and swallowed the toothpaste. Licking her lips she headed back to the bedroom. In the time she had been gone he had claimed the bed; lying on his stomach, his arms outstretched and his face buried in her pillows.
Being careful to be quiet she tiptoed over to her drawers. She pulled open the bottom draw to remove her jeans and then slid it back quietly. Opening the second draw she rummaged around for a bra and fresh panties. It was while she was pulling out her t-shirt that he started snoring and she turned around. She tried not to laugh. Putting her clothes on the end of the bed, she pulled the blankets from his waist to his shoulders and gently removed her fathers hunting knife from under the pillow and put it on the bedside table. Picking up her clothes she carried them to the bathroom and got dressed.
She was just finishing her first cup of coffee when his phone buzzed nosily. She hurried to the pants she had folded neatly on the couch and pulled the phone free.
"Hey Sam." She answered.
"Jo?" Sam spluttered on the other end. "I mean, hey. Umm… is Dean there?"
"He's out cold but I can try and wake him if you want?"
"Is he ok?"
"He will be." She answered with a smile. "After about 2 dozen aspirins."
"Ah." Sam said not sounding surprised. "If it's worth anything Jo I'm sorry. He's.. not been dealing with things lately and if-"
"It's okay Sam." Jo assured him. "He just got wasted on a bottle of whiskey and was going to drive back to the hotel but I stole his keys. He crashed on my couch."
"Oh." Sam sounded relieved. "Ok. Well um.. When he's awake can you tell him not to worry and that I'm going to be in the library archives all day?"
"Sure." She promised and was preparing to hang up when he called her name. "Yeah Sam?"
"Um… thanks." He said awkwardly. "For… you know… not shooting him."
"Don't think it didn't cross my mind." She joked and was pleased when she heard him laugh. "See ya, Sam."
"Yeah, bye Jo." She hung up and put his phone on top of his pants. Heading back to the kitchen she picked up her mug, refilled it and went back to her newspaper.
It was late in the afternoon when Dean stretched and yawned. He rubbed his eyes and rolled onto his back. He was startled when he realised where he was. Sitting up too fast he clutched his head as the memories rolled back. "You idiot." He moaned to himself and rubbed the remaining sleep out of his eyes.
He glanced at the bedside table and saw the time. Throwing back the covers he realised he was only dressed in his shirt and boxers. He glanced around for his pants until he remembered they were on the floor by the couch. Getting out of bed reluctantly he opened the bedroom door and peered down the hallway. "Jo?" He called out.
"In here."
He found her curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn watching some movie on TV. "Have you seen my-"
"They're in the bathroom with fresh towels. I figured you'd want a shower at some point." She explained watching the TV. "Sam rang, said he was going to be in the library archives all day and not to worry."
"Er… thanks." He mumbled and went to the bathroom. He found his now freshly clean jeans on the toilet lid with his phone sitting on top. He pulled back the shower curtain and turned on the taps. As he waited for the water to heat up he looked around the bathroom and spotted a packet of aspirin on the sink beside an empty glass. Dean was stunned. She had thought of everything.
He got into the shower and pulled the curtain behind him. He quickly washed, fascinated by the array of feminine products in a multitude of coloured bottles and took a particular liking to the vanilla and cinnamon scented orange bottle. He put the bottles back in place and finished showering.
As he dried himself off he took a handful of aspirin and chased them down with some water. He dressed and swallowed a mouthful of toothpaste and hung the towel up neatly on the rack. By the time he opened the door he felt better than he had in days.
He was about to head down the hallway when he saw a flicker of movement in her bedroom. He walked into her bedroom to find her with her head in her hands. "Jo, you ok?"
Her head snapped up and he was shocked to see that she had been crying. As if reading his thoughts she wiped away the tears embarrassed and she stood up. "I'm fine. Just sinuses." She lied, turning around and making the bed.
"Why were you crying?" He asked her gently, coming to stand behind her.
"I'm not." She insisted and tucked the sheet under the mattress. "Really." She stood up and smiled at him. "See, I'm fine."
Dean stared at her, his eyes noting the damp eyelashes and the slight tremble in her lips. "Jo." He breathed.
"Why'd you have to make that stupid deal?" She asked him, her eyes pleading for understanding.
"You know why." He said and turned away. When she didn't stop him or grab his arm like he thought she would he turned back to her. She was staring at the floor.
"This is it, isn't it?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm never going to see you again."
"Never say never." He told her and scolded himself for making light of the situation. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to deal with the truth in her eyes and the sadness in her tone. "I'm sorry." He apologised. "I never meant to come here and-"
"It's ok." She told him and looked up at him. "I'm glad I got to see you before.." She sniffed and gave him a small smile. "Life really blows." He opened his mouth to reply but he couldn't find the right words. Instead he nodded. "Well, make sure you annoy the shit out of them while you're down there."
Dean felt a true grin split his face in half and before he knew what he was doing he grabbed her and kissed her. She didn't respond at first but by the time his tongue begged entrance to her mouth her arms where around his neck. He lifted her up and her legs wound around his waist in seconds.
He couldn't get enough of her demanding tongue and her supple lips and by the time he pulled back he was breathless. "God, Jo." He moaned and she nodded.
"I know." Her legs fell from his waist and he let her go. Her arms slipped from his shoulders and trailed down his arms. He shivered, still trying to catch his breath. She smiled up at him and took his hand. He looked down at their hands confused until she pulled him towards the bed.
"Jo-" He hesitated torn between doing the right thing and leaving or taking her madly into his arms.
"I know." She repeated as if reading his mind again. "But let me." She kneeled on the bed, pulling him until his knees found the soft mattress. "Let me say Goodbye." She let go of his hand and pulled her shirt over her head slowly. Discarding it on the floor she leant forward and took his shirt in her hands. He searched her eyes, trying to determine if it was what she really wanted before raising his arms.
She slid the shirt from his body. Dean shivered as her fingers slid down his chest. She reached up to kiss him and he was surprised by how tenderly her mouth slid against his own. He gathered her in his arms, his hands messing themselves in her long hair. Jo pulled back slightly and placed a kiss to his cheek. He tried to chase her mouth but she shifted and placed a kiss on his opposite cheek. She continued to trail soft tiny kisses down his chin, his throat and his neck.
Dean groaned as her hands continued to trail down his body. Her lips never left his skin. She placed searing kissing over his shoulders and down his chest, his hands tightening in her hair when she nipped gently at each of his nipples. His eyes fluttered as she adorned his stomach with kisses and suddenly his pants fell to his ankles. Her kisses continued to his pelvis before he could take no more and he used his weight to lay them back down on the bed.
She wiggled out of her own jeans before returning to his face to leave him breathless with another kiss. Dean felt like he was flying. The world outside vanished and all that mattered to him was the woman in his arms. He wanted to confess to her how he was feeling and how with each kiss it was like she was branding her face in his mind but the words got trapped in his throat and his fingers longed to do the talking instead.
She surprised him but straddling him. She sat perched above him, the moist heat radiating between her legs calling to him like a siren's song. His hands travelled her long pale legs and made discoveries over her slim waist. He smiled at the love heart shaped birthmark on her pelvis and longed to taste it. She grinned and reached behind her back and unclipped her bra. She tossed it behind her and entwined his fingers with her own. She guided him to her breasts and let out an earthy groan when his hungry fingers devoured the small peaks. Her hands fell to his thighs and she rocked forward.
Dean growled and rolled them over. Jo let out a delighted squeal and he took to her neck hungrily. Her short nails raked down his back in encouragement as he forged the memory of how sweet her skin tasted and how soft her breasts were against his curious mouth. Her hands traced an invisible map down his legs until she found what she was looking for. He moaned her name between the crevices of her breasts as she took hold of him.
He continued his journey down her stomach until he found the birthmark he had been hunting for. He pressed his lips to it gently before licking it and savoured the sound of his name on her lips. His experienced hands shed her soaking panties easily and he pressed a gentle kiss to the insides of her thighs. He felt her whole body tense as he pressed a kiss to her core. The groan he received in return made his cock twitch and he pressed two greedy fingers to her opening. She twisted beneath him and her nails dug into his shoulders.
"Dean, Please." She moaned and he was about to apply his tongue when she flipped them. She yanked his boxers down, her nails eliciting a hiss from him until her hands cupped his balls. He jerked involuntary into her body. Her fingers slithered forward to stroke him with her hand and he moaned her name as her thumb skirted the tip of his penis.
He sat up, taking her in his arms and she leant forward, their lips crashing together. As he began to penetrate her slowly she pulled her face free from his lips and commanded his gaze. "I love you, Dean." Jo whispered and ground down as hard as she could.
Dean nearly splintered into a thousand pieces. She embedded her fingers into his neck as she rocked her hips against his trying to encourage him into a rhythm. "Jo." He gasped and he gripped her tightly. His body took control as his instincts forced him thrust into her.
He tried to go slowly but her demanding thrusts and small cries for more in his ear was his undoing. He pressed his lips to hers and rolled them until she was on her back. He found purchase in the mattress and was encouraged by her legs tightening around his waist. He snuck a finger between them and hunted for the small bud that would be her undoing. He struck gold when she shuddered and her muscle tightened. Panting she begged for him to come inside of her and he couldn't refuse her.
Her eyes flicked back into her skull as she came and he followed immediately chanting her name. It took several minutes before Dean could move. He had collapsed on his side trying not to suffocate her. One of her legs was still around his waist and he slid his sweaty hand from her thigh to her face. He cupped her face gently before leaning forward and kissing her tenderly. He pushed the tangled locks from her face gently and pulled her closer to him. They lay tangled for a while as their heartbeats returned to normal.
"Holy crap." He breathed into her hair and he felt her giggle against his chest.
"Yeah, you were ok." She teased and he thwacked her butt gently. He grinned and pulled back enough to kiss her.
"You think you're so funny, don't you?" He asked nipping her nose playfully.
"Oh I know I am."
"Is that so?" He asked and before she had a chance to move he tickled her sides until laughter pealed from her mouth. She tried to wiggle free but he followed her across the bed. She tried to tickle him back but it had no effect and she was left giggling until she couldn't breathe. He stopped, having effectively wrestled her arms above her head. He grinned, his eyes dancing and she leant towards him and kissed him deeply. When he pulled away her eyes where glossy with unshed tears.
A muffled ringing from the floor brought Dean crashing back to reality and he dropped his head and buried it in her hair. He felt her fingers weave into his hair and he inhaled her scent as deeply as he could.
Dean's phone stopped ringing.
Two months later Dean's heart stopped beating.
Four months later Dean's heart started beating again, only this time his heartbeat was joined by a smaller heartbeat being examined by an ultrasound machine.
.....................