….There is something seriously wrong with my brain now. I blame the shippers and spontaneously spawned bunnies. Bunnies of the crack variety. And a powerful need to vent the stress from work.
Should I call this a birthday present to myself? Or a present to all the shippers because I'm in a bubbly birthday surprises mood? Ehhh...
This is totally not meant to be taken as cannon. Heck, by the time I get to this point in the main story, there'll probably be a bunch of plot holes and inconsistencies. It's AU at best (which is why it's not going with the omakes either). Pfft, maybe even that alternate version where Shiroi's Ange is running around doing tarot readings and snapping at Al. Or Accessblade's contest winner one shot.
Don't ask me why Flynn is there. It was the bunny's idea.
x x x
FTaBV Random Spin Off: A Little Nudge
x x x
I really had to question the integrity and discipline of that actors guild, Showtime or whatever it was called. Sure, the first time Raven and I had a good laugh at the others' expense from our own comfortable positions as anonymous audience members. But for all the actors to skip out on opening night a second time? I'd say the poor director wringing his hands and pulling his hair in front of us would be well justified in firing the lot of them.
'Course, that wouldn't solve the immediate problem of finding replacements on such short notice.
Silly me, that deficiency would be solved by Brave Vesperia once again.
"Of course we'll help," Judith volunteered with a serene smile. "We had so much fun last time." She was impervious to both the glowering stare from Rita's direction and the pitiful puppy eyes from Karol. Yuri just rolled his eyes and shared a grin with Estelle. They, at least, had had some fun playing their respective rolls. Commandant Flynn looked on with some bemusement, perhaps wondering just how many pies our guild had dipped its fingers in. I caught his eye and grinned impishly. He had much to learn.
"Oh, you truly are life savers!" the director enthused. "If you would, I'd like the young man and pretty young lady from before to help, as well as the older gentleman, the gallant young man," Yuri and I were both smirking at Flynn's startled expression, "and the feisty young woman."
"What the hell?" I blurted. "Where does 'feisty' keep coming from?" Other than a muffled laugh from Yuri, nobody cared to acknowledge that.
Rita seemed mollified by the fact that she wasn't being forced into a cutesy roll. "Whatever, as long as I don't have to do something that humiliating again."
"Yeah, once was more than enough for me," Karol agreed.
"Oh, I was hoping I'd get to participate this time," Judith pouted playfully. "I guess I'll have to make do with narrating again."
Estelle, as the veteran actress, led me to the ladies' backstage dressing room while the men followed Yuri to the male counterpart (wait, how'd I get caught up in this? I think I missed my chance to gracefully decline going up in the limelight...). I caught a snatch of conversation from the director telling Yuri he'd be using the same costume as before. The knowledge that Yuri would be playing the villain again amused me greatly.
Until I saw my own costume.
"FUCK no! I am NOT dressing like some cheap street corner ho!"
"Letha, please!" Estelle shushed me, blushing a bit at my (slightly) coarser than usual language. "We already said we would, and it's not that bad."
"But-but it's-!" I held up the offending garment, unable to articulate how mortified I was by it. Leather of a rusty red-brown color. Skimpy leather. Not much more concealing than Judith's clothes, less tasteful than hers, and seriously looked like it came from a D&D basement recluse's idea of attractive (and probably inaccurately proportioned) female wear. Short and very tight leather vest (little better than a brassiere), short and very tight leather skirt, and very high calf length leather boots. With heels that could kill someone. NO.
"Shit," I growled. "If I'm gonna wear this it'll be on my terms!" Throwing open the door of the changing room closet, I started rummaging through the other pieces and props kept in storage. I pulled out a few random dresses (just to get them out of the way, mind you), scarves, hooded capes, a duster jacket similar to Chase's, a maid uniform...
In the end I made a few selections that should preserve a little of my self respect without giving the play director reason to complain about them being out of character (I was somewhat dreading finding out what character type I'd be playing). The skirt had been swapped for shorts of similar colored leather, the boots for a knee length pair without the ridiculous stilettos, and the brassiere-vest compromised by wearing a half length cape and pulling it closed in front of me.
Estelle, in contrast to my outrageous hooker outfit, looked like Disney's ideal of the Country Girl who could totally win Prince Charming's heart. Actually, that was a very fitting comparison, since her dress and apron looked a bit like Belle's from Beauty and the Beast. I eyed us both, wondering at the gap between female rolls.
And then one of the writing staff brought the scripts Estelle and I needed to memorize in short order. At first I found myself warming to my character. Poor costume she may have, but at least she wasn't dull...
"Wait, I what?"
"Oh my," Estelle input helpfully, both of us staring at the same line of stage directions.
x x x
"Who's gonna believe I'm yer father?" Raven scoffed. "I don' even look like ya, or Estelle fer that matter." He looked sketchier than ever in artificially dirt stained farmer's clothes.
"Seriously, how could you even have one kid with blond hair, and the other with pink?" Not that it really mattered to Yuri. He privately thought it was pretty damn funny to imagine the old man as Flynn's father. Even for just a bit roll.
"That's not really the point," Flynn said with patience. "What's important is to act the parts so that the audience becomes willing to suspend disbelief for the time."
"It almost sounds like you know what you're doing," Yuri teased his friend. Who hadn't really needed to change since his costume turned out to be the theater's idea of what a suit of armor should look like.
Flynn looked away a bit, covering by picking up his script to continue reading. "Not really... You naturally hear about these things while guarding nobles." Then the Commandant's eyes widened. "Yuri, have you finished reading this yet?"
The swordsman raised an eyebrow, "Not yet." He skimmed through to find whatever it was Flynn was getting all bothered over.
Raven apparently found it first. "Hey! Good fer you, kid!"
"Thanks?" Yuri responded uncertainly, not yet having found...oh.
Well. He hadn't seen that coming.
x x x
"With the long war finally ended, the brave Knight Flynn wanted only to return home to his loving father and sister," Judith was telling the audience, and I was positive there was anticipatory gleam in her red eyes. So what if I couldn't actually see her eyes? I just knew it was there! I paid only cursory attention as Judith explained how Flynn had joined the army to become a hero and support his poor family.
Flynn took the stage from the other wing, eager to tell his family about how he'd become a hero in defeating Dark Lord Yuri's general. But-gasp!-he returns to find his home in flames and his father dying dramatically. Raven really hammed it up shamelessly, but at least he remembered that the point was to tell Flynn that his sister Estelle had been kidnapped.
That was all nice and basic, and other than Raven's insistence to add his own flair to his death scene I found little to distract me from the looming prospect of that scene. Judith was totally going to pounce on me after that...Raven too, for that matter.
Of course when I'd asked our director if that scene was really necessary, he said cutting it was impossible. It was, he claimed, one of the main crowd pleaser scenes. Well, damn, I can't argue with that. Even though it's a bit heavy handed the way it was done.
Judith cued me for my entrance, and I was introduced as a hunter who volunteered to guide Flynn to the Dark Lord's secret castle. Because, of course, I had Aragorn level ranger skills and could pick out the trail of the minions that had taken Estelle away. Hence all the funky leather.
And, you know, since I was the only female character not purportedly related to Flynn, I could just imagine the audience was rating the likelihood that I was the love interest. Whee. Won't they be surprised. If they haven't seen this one yet.
Ooooh boy...hey, maybe I can use one of the methods from Whose Line is it Anyway...
x x x
"Heeey, Judith darlin'," Raven whispered from behind the curtain.
"Hmm?" Judith didn't look away from the audience, but she was listening.
"Ya know about that part, right? Wanna bet on if they'll do it?"
"Well now, I wonder," the Krityan whispered back, lips hardly moving. She'd been thinking about that very subject on her own. "All right then."
x x x
Yuri watched from behind the curtain a bit impatiently. For him, it wasn't so much the acting that was a problem, but having to sit and wait his turn. Well, that and only following the directions given. It was more fun to put his own spin on things.
Flynn, as he could have guessed, was adhering strictly to the script. His earnest delivery was actually pretty good. Yuri was willing to bet his friend was getting a bit caught up in it and confusing fiction with reality. The commandant probably had no trouble imagining the panic of having Estelle go missing on him...
On the other hand, Letha was definitely uncomfortable up on stage. To the audience she probably looked fine as her lines were all delivered clearly and there was a permanent smile flirting with the edges of her lips. A large portion of the male viewers were more interested in her bared midriff and legs anyway. Those that weren't busy leering at Judy.
Letha's smile was actually what tipped Yuri off. It was the same one she used when working at that shop in Dahngrest. And after first seeing it there, he'd realized she at times pulled it when trying to hide something troubling from her friends. He wouldn't say it was fake exactly. More like she was trying just as hard to convince herself that she meant it.
"Yuri..." Estelle whispered to him, and he realized he'd been staring at that nebulous smile. He tilted his head in a way to indicate he was listening. "Will you really...?" she trailed off. Glancing at her, he could make out a slight blush on her cheeks from the stage lights.
"It's not a big deal, we're just acting," Yuri said reasonably.
Her face fell a bit as if disappointed. "Is that so..."
Puzzled by this, he might have missed their cue if Estelle hadn't tugged on his sleeve and pointed at the stage.
His entrance was all arrogance and brash swagger. With a hand gently resting on Estelle's shoulder, he pretended he was pushing her forward roughly. For her part, the princess pretended to stumble while holding her bound hands up before her. The rope was only a prop tied loosely around her wrists, she could easily shake it off if she wanted to.
Flynn's eyes flashed at Yuri when Estelle nearly "tripped". He just shrugged slightly and grinned wolfishly back. "And now I have you right where I want you!"
"You can't beat both of us on your own, Dark Lord!" Flynn declared boldly. Letha rolled her eyes behind him, momentarily distracting Yuri with a flash of a genuine smile of mischief. "Surrender now and release my sister!"
Yuri smirked, "I don't have to defeat both of you." Which prompted Letha to draw a dagger and stab it at Flynn's back. Flynn sensed the danger at the last second and blocked it with his sword. The audience gasped appreciatively at the close call.
"Letha! What are you doing?" Flynn cried in dismayed shock.
"Fool," Letha retorted haughtily, "Your sister was the bait, and I lead you right into the Dark Lord's trap!" Since her surprise attack had failed, she'd withdrawn to stand by Estelle and menace her with the dagger. "All I've done has been to serve my master!" Then, muttering under her breath that only those on stage could hear her, "Cuz he's totally much better eye candy than Dark Lords Sauron or Voldemort."
Estelle dipped her head a bit to hide a giggle, and fortunately Yuri's grin would be interpreted and attributed to his character's smug sense of assurance. Not that it would have mattered to him otherwise. Flynn looked even more confused than before, since he wasn't just faking it anymore.
"No! I refuse to believe it!"
"Will you believe this?" Letha taunted. And then with a sashay of her hips that he didn't know she could do, the brunette was in front of Yuri. With enthusiasm he honestly hadn't expected she cupped his face in her hands and practically jumped up the last few inches to bring her face to his. Going along with it, since it was in the script that everyone was fussing over so much, he wrapped one arm around her waist to pull her in close and leaned down to meet her halfway.
There was warm pressure on his lips, and she was so close that Yuri feel her breath tickling across his cheek. It took him a belated second to realize that her hand was covering his mouth, and Letha was only kissing the backs of her fingers. She'd even positioned herself so that the guarding hand was hidden from the audience's view by their bodies and hair. Probably only Estelle could see that it wasn't a real kiss.
The sinking feeling somewhere in his chest surprised Yuri. He was...disappointed?
Letha pulled away, dropping back on her heels and giving Flynn a significant look. Her face was a bit flushed. Remembering that they were supposed to be putting on a play, Yuri schooled his expression into another smirk as he glanced over at the Commandant. Flynn was gaping at them with his mouth hanging open. Yuri unconsciously licked his lips, and then became very conscious of the salty tang left from Letha's fingers.
Oh damn.
x x x
The play wrapped up without a problem. I was pretty surprised that Yuri didn't bring out any of his improvised embellishments like the last time. But once the kiss scene was over and done with, I was just happy to let things play out and forget the whole awkward, embarrassing thing.
Flynn overcame the shock of having me "kiss" Dark Lord Yuri (I wasn't clear on why that should be such a big blow to his character's morale), kicked our asses (which was the scene I had most expected Yuri to try and mess with), and rescued his sister Estelle. Yuri and I fled stage while swearing to one day return and have our revenge.
God, there was probably a really bad sequel to this really bad play.
Curtain fell, audience clapped (They actually enjoyed that?), and then started filtering out of the auditorium. Backstage Yuri and I were practically mobbed by the others.
Flynn was saying something about admiring our dedication to acting, but hadn't we taken it a bit too far? Raven was crowing that he knew it, he just knew it! Karol and Rita worked their way in, the ace saying how he couldn't believe it while the mage smacked him and said he shouldn't get so excited when he'd probably faint from even thinking about kissing Nan. But when Estelle spoke, somehow her words carried through all that clearly enough for the others to hear and shut up in a hurry.
"Wow, Letha, I didn't know it was possible to make a fake kiss look so convincing. Have you studied acting?"
"Fake?" Raven, Karol, and Rita all exclaimed at once.
"Not really," I felt myself blushing a bit again. "I just picked up some tips on improv somewhere...happened to include a bit on how to make it look like, you know..."
"Guess we shouldn't be surprised," Yuri said dryly. "She is our resident Black Widow after all." Flynn shot him a disapproving frown at the old joke.
"You should be glad I didn't kiss you then." I pulled the half cape a little tighter around my shoulders, feeling too exposed. "I'm gonna go change back real quick," I mumbled and ducked away. While turning away I caught a glimpse of Raven dropping a few pieces of gald into Judith's hand.
Once I was in the changing room again, I slumped against a wall and buried my face in both hands. I could feel the heat radiating off my face. Hooo Gawd, if that's enough to make me blush like this, how the hell would I handle having kissed him for real?
The door creaked on its hinges. I peeked through my fingers, thinking Estelle had probably come in to change back into her own clothes. NO, it was Yuri, still in the red and black villain costume (though he'd taken off the horns). I squeaked slightly and snapped my fingers closed over my eyes again.
"What, now you won't even look at me?"
"I would," I said, "but then I'd probably die of embarrassment."
"You were fine with seducing that guard back in Heliord-"
"I beg to differ."
"-and that time you pulled the whole fiance stunt with that Red-eyes."
I squirmed a bit in place, "That's really not the same thing. I just thought it was...kind of pathetic for my first kiss to be for a play. And not because...you know..."
"...Your first?" A heartbeat of awkward silence while I felt like crawling under a rock for making that sort of confession. To Yuri of all people! "So if it wasn't your first, would you have done it for real?"
Peeking through my fingers again. Yuri wasn't looking directly at me anymore, but instead anywhere besides me. "Umm, I guess...yeah." I reluctantly admitted. "It's not like how the characters behave have any bearing on us."
"Yeah, I guess it doesn't."
Something about Yuri's tone of voice made me keep babbling to fill the silence, as if that'd somehow smooth things out between us again. "I mean, it's not like I think it'd be bad to kiss you or anything, and actually, if everyone still thought we really had kissed just now when we hadn't that would probably be just as pathetic in a way. I mean, then I might as well have kissed you after all, instead of being all shy and pathetic like some kid-"
Yuri's hand tipped my chin up, surprising me since I hadn't noticed his approach, and holy crap he was only a few inches away-
My thoughts whirled crazily in what was essentially mental white noise when Yuri's lips met mine. Warm, a little rough, and tasted faintly of spice. His mouth parted slightly, breath ghosting across mine, and then was gone.
I opened my eyes slowly, not sure when I closed them, and saw he had only pulled back enough to watch me with a very smug little smile. "That good for a first kiss?"
"Hnn," I couldn't seem to remember how to speak. Yuri seemed to understand my meaning well enough.
"How 'bout for a second?" he teased, already moving in close again. That terrible play was probably my all time favorite now.
Judith carefully closed the door so that it wouldn't make too audible a click. Neither of the silly pair had noticed it was still open a crack, or the red and brown eyes that had been peering through at them.
x x x
"Damn, yer right again," Raven marveled, dropping a few more pieces of gald into her outstretched hand. "How'd ya know?"
"Simple, really," Judith replied. "The play needed Letha to take initiative, but she's much too sensitive to take the lead. Not right away."
The archer snorted. "Ya haven't heard about her books, have ya?"
"She's just playing with you," the krityan dismissed. "And Yuri just needed a little nudge in the right direction. Anyway, things will get much more interesting now." She smiled at the door, like a mother fondly watching her children taking their first steps. "We should probably go report to the others before Estelle orders Flynn to find out what's keeping us."
x x x
Oh Jeezus-I did not write this. It was, uh, written and posted by a fairy! Yeah!
…
Stupid insistent bunnies. Now one's probably gonna spawn itself to balance out the scale on Chase's side of this little triangle.
I repeat, this is not to be considered cannon to FTaBV.
Why do I keep posting these things that I swear would never see the light of day...?