"I know what you've heard of him, and it probably didn't win him any points with you… but, Bella, you have to believe the words that come from my mouth." Rosalie looked at me with small slits of blue from behind her large sunglasses. "He isn't half as bad as they make him out to be; sure, he went to prison over some false allegations-"
"They were true!" I interjected angrily. How dare my best friend go against me on this? She knew how much I loved my little Lana- what would she have done if this was her son, Marco? "Rosalie, he murdered people! And sold drugs." The last piece of my testimony was one of those "you can't really deny it" points. Drug distribution was seriously getting out of hand here in Chicago; everyone was a pusher these days. I rubbed my bare lips with a dry napkin, licking them in habit as she stared over at me.
Rosie had it pretty easy these days… she started out as a dancer over at Sugar Daddy's, met the man of "her dreams", and had one rushed marriage a few months before an unexpected pregnancy. I loved Rose, I really did, but some of her life decisions made me seriously question her plans for the future. She now had a four year old son with one of the dirtiest crime lords out there- Royce King. His name made my skin crawl. "Firstly, he was not charged with drug distribution- it was cultivation." Rose pointed out aimlessly, a cheek full of lettuce in her mouth as she spoke. "Secondly," she swallowed quickly, "he did not murder anyone, as you so dramatically put it. It was involuntary manslaughter- the guy was at the wrong place at the wrong time. There were witnesses that gave the same story."
The blonde bombshell sitting across the restaurant's table shrugged as she dug in her plate once more- how much was she eating these days? Her appetite had never been so large in the last six years that I knew her. "Thirdly, all other charges drug and murder related were dropped from lack of proper witness and evidence. The poor guy served his two years in prison for accidentally aiding in a man's accidental death, justice is served! Just how you like it." The snooty tone that crept into her voice made me itch with renewed anger- why had all of our lunches turned into this same argument? It wasn't even fun stepping away from my hectic life anymore, just to be bickered and bitched at for a good hour or so by a woman I used to know like the back of my hand.
I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't matter, Rosie. He's a bad man and I don't want him around my Lana." That was point blank period, I didn't like him and neither would Lana. I would do my damned best to make sure she didn't have to know the terror of her biological father's family. No matter what Rosalie thought was good for me.
Instead of a fiery reply like I expected, she averted her eyes down to her plate in silence. I finished my small steak and called for the check not soon after. "Technically," Rose took a tiny sip of mineral water, "she's his Lana, too."
At her stupid comment, I slammed my fist against the shabbily decorated table and locked eyes with her. I had always been the less beautiful, smart-ass Swan sister and that was what I thought I was going to die being known for. But when my older sister showed up with Lana at my doorstep thirty-six short months ago, I found the true calling- I figured out just what I was suppose to do with the rest of my life. Elizabeth wasn't the best parental figure, and I often had to step in and play mother- I was shitty at first, but I found my middle ground and tried to at least get the hang of it. But I would learn, at least for Lana's sake. "Edward doesn't deserve to even know her name." I hissed.
Rose pursed her lips at my comment and sat back in her iron chair, seemingly unaffected by my little outburst. "How would you like it if someone was keeping your family away from you? All he wants is a sit-down, Bella, that's it." A sit-down? I suddenly wanted to grab all of the silver forks on the table and stab her until these ridiculous ideas completely left her brain.
"A sit-down? I'm not some gangster, I don't go to "sit downs"." I made air quotes with my fingers just to irritate her. Rose wrinkled her nose at what I knew would piss her off, but I didn't stop there. "Edward Cullen is a sadistic, cruel, heartless, horrible monster that I can't even call a man!" I wanted to remind her about my sister Liz, about how paranoid and fearful he made her. Hell, he threatened to kill my baby niece when she was just a few days old! I promised myself that if I ever came face to face with the evil man that threatened my baby's life… I would choke the very last breath out of him. "Just look at how he ruined Liz's life! Isn't that enough proof for you? Jesus, are you even on my side anymore?" I cried angrily.
"I will always be on your side, Bella!" She bit back. "But you're not thinking right! Lana needs to know her dad and her uncle, and you are in dire need of help… there's no more money, you don't have anything! You won't take any of my offerings; just at least consider what Edward wants to give you. He can be the way your ends meet." Just how much had her and this Edward monster been talking? She seemed to know so much about what he could offer!
And as far as Lana's father went… I refused to even say that disgusting prick's name out loud.
"And be bullied into a relationship and marriage like you, Rosalie?" I snapped without truly considering my words. That definitely struck a cord with my best friend, or at least what I hoped was still my friend after this conversation, as she pulled a fifty from her wallet and collected her things. "Rosie, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it-" I grit my teeth against the sinking feeling that I had gone just too far with that one. But she got me so darn angry! What else was I suppose to do? She knew how I felt about her husband… I hated his guts! But never before had I ever questioned the validity or gentility of their marriage or bond. I only assumed Royce King was the type of man that was incapable of love, even if he had landed himself the prettiest Hale in the state of Illinois.
"Shut the fuck up already, Bella!" The lady her mother tried to teach her to be shined through as she kept her voice down in the public place. Her face was scarily close to mine as she leaned down and got in my face. "If you want to ruin Lana's life by dragging her through the streets homeless, do it. But you will have to live with the guilt that her other family did try to reach out to you, and when an older Lana wants to know why you never gave him a chance you'll just have to face the fact that you were a twenty-three year old brat with a knack for taking low blows. And you'll only be able to blame yourself for having no one else to turn to."
Rosalie's words stung far more than they should have, but I couldn't stop the budding tears that formed at the inner creases of my eyelids; I was being selfish, but I was scared, too! I was scared Edward would take her away from me forever, and she was only four as of now- he could steal her and she would never even remember my name. It scared the shit out of me to think that way, but I was never one to ignore a valid point just because it frightened me. That was the kind of behavior expected out of Liz, not me. I was the responsible, sensible one every time. Her heels clacked loudly as she walked away, long gone from the cozy little restaurant when I slowly began to realize my sudden faults. I was just so damn frightened to do anything- my life would truly mean nothing if I didn't have Lana to love and take care of.
Once the stuffy waiter picked up Rosalie's money to cover our cost, I grabbed my things and made my way to the beat up hoopty I was currently attached to. It was a two door piece of shit, but most times it took me from point A to point B. As a calming exercise, I rolled my neck from side to side in order to relieve a small portion of the stress and tension left over. I knew what I had to, what was right to do… but there was no way in hell I would just hand her over. If this Edward Cullen was as gracious and befitting as Rose made him out to be, he could be easily manipulated and maybe even juked. Not that I was the manipulating or juking type- but I would be whatever the hell I had to be in order to protect my niece. At a red light, I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and looked down at it- I was the type of person that felt almost instantaneous guilt after doing something horrible. A very large part of me wanted to call Rosie right then and there, but even I knew it was too soon. She was pissed at me! Not that I would feel any different if I were in her position, but couldn't she cut me some slack already?
It was hard to admit that I wasn't enough for Lana, that I wasn't good enough to be her mom. Maybe it was wrong of me to accept this responsibility from my older sister? But it wasn't like I was going to tell her no, she knew that. Liz knew that I could never tell her 'no' and I would never decline a good challenge. Motherhood seemed simple enough a few years ago; before I knew what teething, diaper rashes, and incurable fussiness meant. When I was still young and happily naïve, raising Lana seemed like something easy enough to be a cakewalk. I had no idea how stressful and financially draining it could be. But as I looked down at my cell phone and saw her face as my wallpaper, an involuntary smile graced my grim face. I would do it all over again, no matter the way it changed my life drastically.
As soon as I walked through the door, a slim body with platinum blonde hair shot up from the couch. "Where were you? You know I have to be at work early today! Jesus, Bella, it's like you don't care about me." Elizabeth screamed at me, flinging an accusing finger at me. "You knew Vic would fire me if I was late one more time! Maybe that's exactly what you wanted?" One would think I would be used to the severe mood swings when it came to my sister, but she was truly a character you could never get used to.
She was a real bitch, too. "Calm down, Lizzy, you're scaring the shit outta her." I hissed, pointing in the direction of her young daughter. Elizabeth was pretty, with a nice body and a horrible attitude to match. When she got knocked up at the ripe age of twenty by a man she knew better than to break the news to, she came to her only other option. I was that option, seeing as our parents weren't the most compassionate people when it came to problems and strays. "I was out…" if I said, 'I had lunch with my one friend you hate and we were talking about the man you hate and now I'm considering taking help from the family that hates you' she would surely throw something at me, so I chose my words wisely, "doing something really important. Sorry for making you a few minutes late, but it's not like you let me know your work schedule or anything."
Liz scoffed at me with that stupid bitch face she was fond of making. "And what do you do, exactly? You wait tables at some stupid restaurant five days a week, read the same three books over and over again, and spend your weekends on the couch or at work! I'm sorry if I like to go out and have fun, but it takes money to have fun. And I need to work in order to make money." She was talking down on me like a parent would a five year old, causing a watery burning sensation to happen behind my eyeballs.
Was I going to cry in front of her? No, I would never cry in front of Elizabeth. She didn't deserve that much. "Yeah well with all that money you seem to be making, me and Lana never see a penny of it." This was a sore topic in the Swan household just as much now as it had been back when we lived with Charles and Rene… Liz was a lot like our dad- money hungry, angry at the world, caring only for themselves. It wasn't a wonder why they hated each other so much, it was probably like looking in the mirror.
"Oh, really?" She concentrated long and hard to force out those treacherous crocodile tears that fooled mom and dad, but I wasn't having it.
"Stop fake crying and grow up already! I've done my best to help you Liz, but you treat me like shit-" I threw my hands up in the air in expiration.
"You're just jealous of me and my life." Liz's voice grew deadly quiet as she stepped closer to me. This wouldn't be the first altercation that turned physical, that was just the way we got messages through to each other, but I didn't want to do any of this in front of Lana. And what could I possibly be jealous of? Just because she had a pretty face and slept with ball players and mobsters alike didn't make her something great. I walked towards a shaking Lana, sending her a reassuring smile before picking her up in my arms and heading towards my bedroom. But Liz crossed my direction, throwing herself in front of my door. "Where are you taking my daughter?"
I sent her a perturbed look before pocketing my cell phone and keys. "Don't be so melodramatic, Liz, I'm gonna take her for ice cream. You act like I don't have her seventy percent of the time anyway." I rolled my eyes when Liz squeezed out some more tears, crossing her arms in a bratty way.
"I'm sorry if I'm the prettier, more gifted Swan sister- I'm sorry that I have a beautiful daughter that belongs to an important family." Yeah, that you're dead afraid of, I wanted to add. "And I'm sorry if your jealousy of my life gets in the way of living your own." Really, Liz could make anyone's head spin with the sort of bullshit she spoke. Like always, I shrugged it off and turned my back on her many other less menacing insults. They were the same every time, yet they slashed a new hole each and every time. I used to have a life, I used to have a throng of pals to waste weekends with, I used to go on dates- but when Lana started growing up, she needed more attention than Liz could give her.
I gave up my freedom for her, and I could never regret that. "I'm scared." Lana cried into my shoulder, completely soaking the thin material of my top; if only Liz cared as much about Lana as I did… things would have ended up so different.
"Don't be, you're with Aunnie." I smiled serenely at the treasure currently clung to my shoulders and torso- my name turned into "Aunnie" once she started speaking, seeing as my longest and deepest conversations started and ended with her. Did she even realize my name was Bella? Elizabeth hardly ever spoke my name, seeing as our conversations never lasted longer than a few minutes max. Since childhood, our close age distance made us complete rivals in everything we did; my parents never did anything to tame the raging fire between us, if anything they encouraged it. I took us to our favorite ice cream spot just up the street from the shitty excuse for an apartment complex I lived in. Liz was currently squatting with some friends in a "breath-taking skyscraper apartment building, not to mention it's on the fifteenth floor", though I doubted that would last very long. And no matter how hard or long I begged she would never let Lana actually with me.
But to keep the peace, I would digress. Though my niece wasn't out of my sight for very long, Liz did occasionally disappear for days on end with her "friends" and it scared the shit out of me- the troupe of friends she had were brash, irresponsible, rude girls not yet breached into adulthood. They were an alright clan of girls back when we were younger, but Elizabeth refused to believe that we were adults with actual responsibility these days. I shook my head to dispel myself of those saddening and thoughts and looked over at Lana instead, whom was currently stuffing her face. She understood me, and she was but four years old! Sometimes I wondered how a moron like Liz could ever create such a charming, intelligent daughter- and it couldn't possibly come from the father's side! They were greasy criminals who deserved to be in jail for eternity.
I shivered in my thin coat and hugged Lana to me, simply enjoying the sounds of the ice cream parlor's outdoor seating. We were okay, if only for now.
That was enough for me.