John and Emori have been out in the woods with each other for a while. This is before A.L.I.E. takes over. Murphy has a nightmare and Emori is there for him. Please review and leave comments about what you might like to see in a one-shot from the 100. Enjoy!
He wakes with a jump beside me. I thought he had been sleeping so nicely until then. We have been stealing from scoundrels in the woods for a few days together now. We had slept together too but this was a much more vulnerable situation.
The strong, selfish and sometimes stupid, John Murphy sits up with panic on his face and his shaking hands on his legs. I put my hand on his shoulder to make him look at me. When he realizes that he is not alone, he jerks my hand off of him and then pushes himself to stand. He glares at me but there is a vulnerability to his stare that makes me want to comfort him. Instead, I find myself staring down at the fire.
I want to talk to him, to ask him what could be wrong. I look up to find him standing with his head and hands against the cold wall of the cave. I can see his back and chest rising and falling quickly.
"John?" I ask.
He doesn't answer.
"John!" I say again with some force.
He doesn't answer again.
I throw a piece of dirt into the fire when I feel a familiar anger. But then I decide that maybe he just needs someone to talk to him. He had a nightmare. That much was clear. I shouldn't have let him be alone. We are together. Maybe he should be allowed to hurt.
I stand up and walk over to him. He keeps his head and hands on the wall. He doesn't look at me. So I have to make him. I put my hand on his back and tilt my head to his face. I get nothing in return. I continue to do this. But I still get nothing.
"John?" I ask again. "Come on."
He shakes his head and turns away. I see him run his hand over his face as he does this. He thinks he is being quick, slick but he is not. I can see him. And he is beautiful.
I decide that maybe words aren't what he needs. I wrap my arms around his body, letting them hold his frame. I feel his fingertips on my arms. He pulls me close to him so that my chest is pressed against his back. We stay like this for a while. I don't wonder when we will move or how. I just let him do exactly what he needs.
After a few minutes though, he does turn around.
He looks sad but otherwise the same bored and tired expression that John always shows. He puts his hands around my waist and keeps me close. He looks down at my face, putting his hand behind my ear and holding my head just where it is.
"What John?" I ask.
He shakes his head.
"Come one," I prompt with a smile, attempting to convince him to talk to me. I always do.
"It was stupid," he says.
Finally. I nudge him a little, holding onto his arms with my hands and never leaving my gaze from his face.
"Tell me," I beg again.
"It was a stupid nightmare about…end of the world crap," he says. "It shouldn't bother me. I never got those before. I never cared about anything long enough to."
"But?" I ask, coaxing the words out of him like a snake away from it's prey. It takes skill and time and an incredible amount of patience.
"But I care about you," he says, looking down between us. Touching his face, I make him look back at me.
"I care about you too, John Murphy," I say.
He smiles back at me.
"Was it about me?" I ask.
He nods, the smile gone and terror returned. There is something about that look in his eyes as he stares at me. It must have been sad because there is a longing there. It is not one that I can satiate with ripping his clothes off either. It is one that needs gentle compassion.
"What?" I ask again.
"I'm not good for you, Emori."
"Don't give me that. We are both survivors. We are good for each other," I tell him.
He clearly doesn't believe it but that doesn't matter. I pull him in to hug him, locking my arms around his body and pressing my face into his shirt. He does the same, conforming himself down to my body and allowing his head to rest on my shoulder. I smile against him, knowing that I have won.
"Next time that happens, you just have to turn to me," I say into his shirt. "I'll remind you what's real."
"You know it's because of you that I have anything to lose," he says. "It's not a survivors move, caring for someone."
I pull away from him just a little so that I can see that devilish grin return. It makes me smirk back at him.
"I am your weakness, John Murphy," I say.
"Yes you are," he agrees and leans his head down to kiss me.