What's for Dinner?

It was cold outside so Ryou has insisted that I stay inside and keep warm because I could 'catch my death' ah poor naïve, innocent, beautiful hikari with your snow white hair your big sparkling brown eyes. I'm already dead. Have been for 5 millennia. I do not answer to a teenager. I can go out if I want to.

But I digress. Sitting inside is actually quite a good thing. It means I can mull over the meaning of life, or in my case, life-after-being-dead-and-trapped-in-a-ring-as-a-spirit-for-five-thousand-years.

Nah, actually I just wonder what it would be like to fuck Yadonushi into the mattress.

If you haven't already noticed I have a 'thing' for my hikari but I have absolutely no idea how to act upon it. Due to the fact that as far as I know the (cute) little bastard is straight so any chance of a relationship (or a quick shag in a closet) has already blown up. NOT because I don't know a thing about dating. Not at all.

I must admit though, I made the rudimentary mistake of asking Marik what I could do. He was less than helpful. He just said to 'get him drunk then reap the benefits'. I honestly don't know how Malik puts up with it.

Anyway back to MY lovely Ryou, he really is the best damned thing I've ever seen. The way his hair seems to shine in the sun and how its always so soft and smells like vanilla and coconut unlike mine, mine looks more silver than white and its also kinda messy and smells of something. Though that might have something to do with the fact that he actually washes his.

His eyes seem to sparkle all the time and that little glint of innocence drives me crazy (I want to taint it!), the colour is just like milk chocolate so brown but creamy. But his smile? Well it just takes the biscuit. It's so cute, so adorable, so pretty! The way your mouth quirks! I want to kiss it until his lips are bruised and swollen. How could one smile make me feel like that? I don't know but his does, it always does, even when he's talking to that dickwad Pharaoh and his cheerleaders its still the same feeling of '10/10. Would Do.'

But he never seems to smile for me. Why is that my beautiful hikari?

…...!

Holy shitting Ra! I'm ranting like a bloody hormonal teenage school girl with a crush! I sound like one of those blokes out of Twishite! This is not a good mental state for me. I am the fierce and proud King of Thieves. Not a sparkly stalker.

Oh, I just heard a noise, I think he's gone down stairs to start cooking dinner. He tried to teach me once, but in the end he patted my arm and said that 'Perhaps I just wasn't cut out for cooking.' I don't really understand. It was only a little fire, and everyone knows that water is perfectly flammable.

If I'm going out I should probably ask when dinner will be done, don't want to miss food. I wonder what we're having tonight. Last night we had steak but today he said that we were having 'something special'.

Maybe I should ask.

"Ryou what's for dinner?" I shout

"Faggots and a Spotted dick" he replies

…... What?!

MissTreason: For those who don't know 'Faggots' are a type of meatball and ' a 'spotted dick' is a kind of sponge with raisins in. British food.

I changed it quite a lot to the previous version. I think (read hope) I've improved in the 3 and a bit years since I wrote this story.