Some of you readers may know of my other story, Princess, which this isn't related too. Actually it's sort of based on the original direction of Princess (except this story heads the exact opposite way). Part of my issue in my other story is balancing the possessive and controlling streak I see in Vader with my, or at least I believe so, fun story. In a way I took a darker turn here with Vader not having an author who keeps his possessive streak in check. This was written because I couldn't get some dialogue to work in Princess, so I started this baby which will probably be 4 to 6 chapters or so.
To alleviate confusion this is based off of my scant knowledge of psychology and the effects of isolation. Any mistakes please tell me, because I'm always welcome to learning.
My Lord… this is the ISB, we have a lead...
The first time she saw Vader she had been awed. The light flickered off of his armor casting strange shadows over everything in its path. Her father had set her down on the ground momentarily and she had run off to him to say "Hello, I'm Leia. What's your name?" Vader had stared at her for a while and then pushed her back, shoving her to the floor and stalking away. Two years ago she had cried as the pretty man left. She had just wanted to play and he had hurt her. They didn't meet each other again. She was, after all, the jewel of Alderaan and never to be tarnished by the monstrosity that Vader was. He of course stayed in her mind with childlike curiosity, but where he once was awe inspiring, he was now detested. She hated him and her instincts agreed for he was the harbinger of destruction. He would…
It's a positive match for Subject A13D and the count…
She was five years old and her young mind grappled at how to use her dolls most effectively. Nothing was more detested than vegetables and formal ceremony. Of course he had to come and now there was the biggest ceremony of them all. She was five and so she didn't hide, she glared at him defiantly willing him to know the hate she felt but was forbidden from voicing. He had taken something from her, what, she didn't know and when he had refused her a while ago he had done something irrevocable. His gaze lingered on her uncomfortably despite how much she tried to avoid him. He followed her, but he never spoke. In the abandoned passageways she screamed her hate, but he never said anything. The last time his hand had moved forward brushing against her arm as if to grasp it. It burned and she fled from the site, terror in her heart. Vader was...
Mine…
She had gone to bed and locked the door, despite that her parents asked her not to. He was on the same planet and she wanted every possible protection. Sleep gripped her uneasily and she rolled around in the bed imagining the phantom calls of a respirator. Each time she heard it her eyes shot open and she looked around her room, got up and turned on the light to check that he wasn't hiding anywhere. Then she'd go to bed. The last time she had awoken it had been three in the morning and then she was finally accepted into the land of peaceful sleep. Not that there was any peace to be found in the black shadows of her dreams, or the constant feeling of danger, for he was coming…
Sweet precious daughter of mine…
There was no sunlight filtering through her eyelids when Leia awoke. Instead, as she opened her eyes and rubbed her head to try to alleviate the pounding headache, there was hardly any light and no windows. No longer was she in her room. Panic shot through her and she ran at the wall, desperate to find a door. The only thing to be found was the fresher. There was no noticeable exit and the only sign that somebody could enter the room was the fact that she was in it and the dish of fresh smelling food. The phantom breathing echoed throughout her head and she scurried to the corner and pressed herself against it in fright as the walls danced in closer.
Safe with Daddy my child…
"Mommy where are you?" she cried as she rocked to herself, her hands pressed over her ears to block out the monstrous phantom sounds of a respirator.
I'll be there for you always sweetie…
"Daddy… Mommy… I'm scared. I want to go home… please!" she screamed as the uneaten food slowly cooled, "I just want to go home."
This is your home now…
She carved a line into the wall slowly as she munched on her food. It joined the other six lines in the corner. On the bed, as always, was a new set of clothes brought in by a small mouse droid from a hole that was way too small for someone of her size. Desperately she wanted to go home and tell her parents that she was home and okay, but she had no way of escape. Finished with carving her line, she sat down on her bed. Vader had her because...
Are you bored? Do you want me to get you some toys?
The toys mocked her. Each and every night another one arrived, just as monstrous as the one before. She didn't want toys. She wanted to leave for she was no prisoner. Crying she rocked herself back to sleep and left the plate of food untouched. Her dreams were filled with loud laughter and the thunderous footsteps of boots.
Soon everything will be fine…
Ten lines more and she played with the dolls and speeders and paint. She painted the walls and drew her parents. Sometimes she heard their voices calling out to her or asking where she was. When she heard their voice she'd run to the walls trying to locate them. The voices weren't real.
You don't need them anymore.
"Mommy, Daddy!" she cried, for the drawings of her parents were gone….
I'll be back soon.
The moment he left, she knew because a notable weight disappeared. All of a sudden she felt lighter and freer for everything felt so much easier. She drew a line and drew more pictures of her parents and searched the room once again for a door because she would escape. There was no door to be found.
Don't do that sweetheart…
The pictures were gone again, but this time so was her favorite toy and the paints. She bowed her head and played with the other toys trying to forget her parents for she was never leaving.
Good job.
The fiftieth line was etched into the wall and tears flooded her face. She was never leaving. Her food remained untouched.
Don't be sad. I'm there.
"Father… Mother… I'm sorry. I want to go home… please let me go home!" she screamed as she left her food once again untouched and for once didn't draw another line, what would've been the fifty-fifth.
They're not your parents!
This time all of her toys except a lone stuffed animal disappeared and a bland meal appeared before her. Leia consumed it in silence as tears trailed down her face.
Why don't you care for me?
The day was slightly different for he entered for the first time from who knows where and watched dispassionately as she hid under the bed, refusing to come out, "I hate you!"
In other news, the Princess of Alderaan has still not been sighted…
When he came in on the sixtieth day, she stood still in the middle of the room. He circled her slowly and gave her a small wrapped box. She stared at him in utter surprise and then he brushed a strand of hair out of her face and said, "Happy birthday my little angel."'
…Unfortunately we must assume the worst, that the Princess has died.
Leia slowly ate her food as she felt the dark man leave. The present still lay in the corner unwrapped and left alone. Curiosity burned through her mind and it warred with the hatred for the dark man. He had a name once… she was sure of it. His name had a "v" or maybe it didn't, but her mind was too muddled from the constant twilight to be sure. Her own name mocked her in her head.
"My name is Leia," she whispered.
She wouldn't allow herself to forget and in the corner she eteched her name in simple letters like her parents had shown her. Loneliness nipped at her and she wished to see someone else. Even he was better than nobody. Her memory was hazy and she tried to visualize her parents. The warm memories lulled her into a peaceful sleep.
You're mine in flesh and blood…
A hundred careful lines were etched into the wall and Leia slowly observed the latest. A hundred felt like a large number, one that she never counted beyond. For a hundred days she had been trapped in the room. A noise startled her and she turned around to find a slit forming in the wall. Behind the wall was even more darkness but the man stepped through. He observed her for a while and Leia's heart thumped within her.
He walked closer to her and she didn't retreat, but instead gazed at him hungrily. She was ever so lonely and desperately needed company. His presence no longer seemed as repulsive and she longed for him to spend time with her, to hear another voice. It hurt to be alone. The mask turned towards the corner and the wrapped present before looking back at her.
"Goodbye Little Angel," he whispered and strode back to the door.
Leia frowned slightly and stared at the black hole, her only way to freedom and the desire warred with her need to speak, "What's your name?"
He stopped outside of the door and spoke his name just before it slid shut, "Father."
You know it to be true.
She greeted him as "Father" the next time he came although part of her cried that she was betraying her parents. He gifted her with a protocol droid in return and it was a wish come true for it helped stave off the incessant desire to socialize. She wanted to talk to somebody and now she could, but her speech remained slow and strange. She knew that once she had talked quickly, but the words were slowly fleeing and her tongue had forgotten how to form some of them. Slowly she accepted her fate, but in her rebellious way she continued to carve a line in the wall for every time she woke up. Her room expanded so now she was confined to a broader area, but loneliness still gnawed at her. Father wasn't there often, and when he was, he hardly spoke to her. He did make time to read to her or tell her stories of the galaxy outside. In the absence of people to interact with, she read.
Little Angel, how I love you so…
The only consistent way Leia could keep track of time was through the special occasions Father celebrated, such as her birthday. She had heard "Happy Birthday my Little Angel!" three times, making her eight. Her birthday felt close and the lines carved in the wall confirmed her feeling. He entered that day and showed her that something existed beyond her rooms, so that for the first time in over three years she saw real light. The planet was in no way pretty, but with only distant recollections of foliage, the sight was amazing. The yellow clouds lazily crossed the sky and she watched them in amazement while leaning against Father. Her desire to run free was hindered by the strong arm holding her to Father's side. Then Father left again. He left the planet freely.
No silly, you can't leave. You're my daughter.
The brief stint to the outside world rekindled her burning desire for freedom and she spent the recess from Father trying to figure out how to open the doors. She opened it, only to come face to face with Father. Anger rolled off of him, but he gingerly picked her up and brought her back to her room. She cried that night for she remembered the fresh air and once again she dreamt…
You love me, don't you?
In her dreams for the rest of the week she saw a strange planet with large mountains and blurry faces. The dreams had felt good and the emotions were so foreign and strong. At the end of the week she cried for finally she had remembered the place of her dreams. It was from before her time in the room, a time that felt like ages ago. She cried for no longer could she remember the names of her parents or her planet. Their faces and warmth was all that was left, but that too faded. The droid called her "Miss" and Father called her "Little Angel" but in her dreams she heard another name, one that she couldn't remember. She told Father that she had forgotten.
It's good you're forgetting because they were worthless.
Father didn't share her regret at having lost something so integral. No longer could she remember her name, but Father celebrated. He showed her how to make objects float and let hours pass in a time span of minutes. He may have hated meditation, but she loved it. When she wasn't reading about planets far elsewhere or watching old shows and documentaries, she meditated. Her love for meditation must have bothered Father for he got her another droid, an astromech.
You'll be happy.
Five years had passed and the final pieces in her plan were locking into place. She would escape. Why she desired to escape was elusive, but it felt right. She wanted to be free. The door finally slid open and she left carrying a bag on her shoulders. Her first step into freedom included the darkest corridor she had ever seen, but she wasn't daunted. What did scare her was Father, who caught her and dragged her back into her room. He took away the droids and left her locked inside.
You can't leave.
"I hate you," she screamed as she pounded on the door, tears leaking out of her eyes. The one phrase couldn't encompass how she was feeling. There was no real hate inside of her, just despair. She had to leave, to talk to somebody. In her isolation she heard strange sounds whispering in the background and strange shapes floating around her. The only escape was meditation.
Little Angel, you'll learn,
"I love you Father," she whispered when he came to visit her again.
A terrorist attack killed over a hundred loyal citizens of the Empire.
Three thousand four hundred and twelve lines were carved in the wall. She was fourteen years old and she had found the etching when looking for a place to carve another line, "Leia." The name seemed so familiar and it haunted her. It reminded her of a time so long ago of things about things she couldn't remember. There was something beyond the walls.
Let me show you, Little Angel…
She was Little Angel and her eyes followed the red blade in Father's hand as another blade settled within her own hand. He swung forward and she blocked the blade with shaking arms.
A terrorist group on Lothal has been…
She was fifteen now and she cradled her own lightsaber, it was time to plan to escape again for there was something out there. She needed to leave before she forgot everything about the past.
Jedi to hunt and kill…
He was gone and her lightsaber easily cut through the door. She was finally free. Her feet pounded on the floor as she neared certain freedom. The only thing she carried was herself. Then she ran into the guards, guards she didn't know existed and with cold precision they raised their weapons to release a bolt of blue light. She knew no more.
Why? Why do you wish to betray me?
She awoke in a room not her own for the first time that she could remember. A pair of binders held her hands behind her and she settled in for a long wait. As her mind drifted away in the calm field of meditation she felt a darkness coming and pressing down on her. Father was back and he was mad. Shivering, she opened her eyes in time to watch him stalk into the room and his hand moving to her neck. A strangled scream escaped her as she felt the dark power moving around her and through her mind.
You will not betray me!
Little Angel woke again, but this time in her bed. Father sat next to her, his hand gently stroking her. She shivered beneath the glove as she remembered his anger and hatred directed towards her. In the back of her mind an older memory unveiled itself. There had been a life before and he wasn't her father. He would destroy her and the cold hand on top of her reminded her that he had already tried.
Always together…
Unlike before she didn't head toward the door. Her escape consisted of carving right through the wall and letting the droids out as a distraction. Dark bruises circled her body from Father's rage at her last attempt at escape, but she had to leave. The isolation was constantly getting worse and she longed to see the outside world, something she could only glimpse in her dreams. The wall gave way and she stepped out into a corridor. Seeing another door she tried it and happily slipped inside. Slowly she carved her way through the complex, desperate to see real light and then she did.
She spent a moment appreciating the view and the novelty of seeing a horizon or trees. There was so much life all around her and it was amazing. A small smile crept across her face, a genuine smile that rarely showed itself. Pleased, she scurried towards the hangar bay. Freedom was finally hers after ten years in his company. Perhaps now she could find out why she had carved the name "Leia" on the wall or who her parents were. Perhaps she could finally enjoy herself and talk to others.
In the hangar bay she boarded a shuttle and in her mind she could feel the terrible anger rolling through her mind from Father. Fortifying herself, she hit the ignition button and watched the console light up. The shuttle lifted into the air and following instincts she gently moved the levers to begin her rather bumpy ride. The galaxy was beautiful and she would finally be able to explore it.
You left. How could you leave my child?
White lines flashed around the viewport and Little Angel smiled wonderingly, wishing she could touch them. They were just too amazing.
Do you hate me?
"Goodbye Father," she murmured, "I… You were… father for a while."
I will find you and you'll join me. I can't let my master find you, he'll destroy you.
The ship dropped out of hyperspace according to the coordinates she had put in on instinct. Before her hung a fleet of ships, as if directly taken from the stories she read. The best part was that the darkness was gone and from within the fleet was something so powerfully light.
I'm sorry for hurting you… come back child.
Something flashed on her console but she ignored it in favor of focusing on the luminous presence on board one of the ships. Its presence soothed her and she reached out to it. She didn't care when her ship lurched and drifted towards the fleet.
There will be a reward of a billion credits for her capture, alive and unharmed. I will personally kill anyone that harms her? Is that clear?
The hatch opened and someone stood there, a blaster on his hip. He gazed at her coldly while she cocked her head. He didn't look like her droid or Father. He was strange and she liked it. Despite his wary expression she walked forward to him. The man stood still as she inspected the strange fibers on his head and around his mouth. He was truly interesting.
"Ma'am," he began and she looked at him in confusion, nobody had ever said that word to her, "Would you mind telling me who you are?"
She was free and the words coming from the man made no sense and she tried to process them slowly. As she tried to decipher through his strange speech, she ended up saying, "Free. Free. Free..ee...dom. Freedom!"
He looked at her worriedly and his posture relaxed slightly as he lifted his hands and pointed to himself, "Biggs."
Confused she pointed to herself, "Biggs?"
A sad smile formed on his lips and he pointed to the other strangers and said strange words.
Her face lit up with comprehension, "Little Angel. My… name is… Little Angel… and I'm free…. Galaxy is pretty."
My little angel… where are you?
Biggs slowly showed her through the corridors with infinite patience as she'd stop to inspect something and brought her to a room which she refused to enter, "Bad... not bad… Free."
They let her stand in the doorway as they talked and their voices created a gentle murmur against the bustling background. At last a young woman walked up to her and gave her a reassuring smile, "Hey there? Did the Empire have you?"
Frowning again, she tried to think why the word was so familiar and something tugged at her memory, demanding to be freed, "Father… Empire… bad… took me… I miss… Mommy and Daddy."
The woman smiled at her reassuringly and gently led her down the hallway, "Welcome to the Rebel Alliance."
A smile formed on her lips and she looked around, amazed at all the new things she was seeing. Freedom was better than she had imagined. The lingering phantom noises and shapes had disappeared.
Like it, hate it? Or confused? Feedback of every kind is appreciated as long as you remember there are young kids that can read your comment.