I wrote a couple of oneshots in response to a prompt, but these ended up not fitting the prompt as well as I would have liked. But I still wanted to share them though so, here's part I:

This takes place between seasons 2 and 3. Hera is doing her best in the aftermath of Malachor. But even the best can make mistakes.

The events on Malachor had thrown the Ghost crew into chaos.

At first, it was because Kanan was having one complication after another. It was bad enough when the medical droid confirmed that Kanan's sight could never be restored. Then, only days later, he succumbed to a nasty infection that sent the whole crew into a frenzy. Chopper Base had almost no bacta or antibiotics left, and time had become of the essence.

When they got word of an Imperial shipment only a few systems away, Ezra was the first to volunteer for the mission. He and the others left with another pilot while Hera stayed behind to look after Kanan. His fever had become dangerously high, and she refused to leave him alone in his delirium.

"Ezra…" he mumbled, trying to sit up. "W-Where's Ezra…?"

"Shh." Hera gently pushed him back down. She dabbed his head with a cold cloth, careful not to get the bandage wet. "Ezra will be back soon."

Kanan swallowed compulsively, his brow furrowed in confusion. "H-Hera?"

"Yes, love." She pressed a hand against his chilled cheek. "I'm right here."

He grabbed her arm, squeezing it painfully tight. "Where… W-Why can't I see you? Hera…"

It was a rough week.

Thankfully, the others returned before the fever could do any permanent damage. As Kanan recovered, Hera only ever finished the bare minimum of her duties in order to spend as much time as she could with him. The thought of leaving him alone in the dark while he was still so weak set her on edge. She will forever be grateful for the others who took it upon themselves to pick up her slack.

But even three months after Malachor, when the infection was long gone and the saber wound healed, the chaos was still there. It had transformed into a quiet, almost hidden, sort of chaos, but it lingered there, just underneath the surface of everyone's facades.

Kanan wasn't getting better. Not really. He hardly left his cabin. The few times he did, it was always to mediate out toward the edge of the base, away from everyone else. He barely spoke more than a word or two to anybody but Hera, and even then, it was hardly anything more than frustratingly casual conversation. Regardless, Hera was determined to be there by his side whenever he might need her.

Then, one rare night where sleep came easily for Kanan but eluded her entirely, Hera walked into the galley to find Ezra sitting at the table. A mug of something hot was steaming beside him as he stared at a datapad, so absorbed in it that he didn't even notice her walking in. Meanwhile, Hera was frozen in her spot, taken aback by the boy's appearance. She knew he had cut his hair, but it wasn't just that. His babyish features were gone. Even sitting down, it was obvious that he had grown taller, and his muscles were finally starting to fill in. When did that scrawny boy transform into this teenager? And how had she missed it?

Well, there was no use lingering on unanswerable questions. "Ezra?"

His head snapped up, his eyes wide for a moment before dulling at the sight of her. "Hera." Then he frowned. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She walked over to the counter to find a pot of caf half-full. "Working late?"

"I guess." He took a sip from his mug before looking back down at the datapad.

After pouring her own mug, she took a seat at the other side of the table. "What are you working on?"

He glanced at her with a strange expression, but it was gone before Hera could figure out what it was. "Sato says there's there's going to be a kyber crystal shipment making a jump from the Ansion System to some unknown location. We need to work fast if we want to intercept and destroy it before we lose track of it."

Hera raised an eyebrow in surprise. Apparently, she had missed a lot in the last couple months. She had no idea Sato was giving Ezra such important responsibilities. "And Sato wants you to lead the mission?"

He stiffened slightly. "I'm not leading it, just going along since… s-since I'm the only Jedi around…"

"Oh." That made sense. Jedi could sense kyber crystals through the Force. And Ezra was the only Force sensitive around who was, well, mission ready.

Ezra's grip tightened on the datapad. "I might even be able to find a crystal I can use," he said, more to himself than to Hera. "I can't be much of a fighter without a lightsaber…"

Hera let out a humorless chuckle. "Zeb and Sabine might disagree with you there."

Ezra didn't even smile. In fact, he made no indication that he had heard her at all. "You don't have to worry. I…" He swallowed. "I can still earn my keep here."

"What? " Where in galaxy's name had that come from? "Since when do you need to earn your keep?!"

Ezra flinched at her - admittedly harsh - tone. "I'm not an idiot. After everything that happened…" He bit his lip, reconsidering his words. "Look, I know you probably regret ever inviting me on your ship, but I'm not useless! I've been practicing. I'm becoming more powerful every day. I can make up for what happened!"

Hera only managed to sputter before she finally translated her thoughts into coherent words. "Ezra Bridger, I have never regretted bringing you onto this ship!" How could he even think that? Ezra was a part of her crew, Ezra was family.

Ezra looked pained as his face twisted into a frown. "You don't need to lie for my sake…" The datapad forgotten, he crossed his arms across his chest and pointedly looked away. "You can't even stand to be in the same room as me. Not that I blame you…"

"Ezra…" How could she have been so blind? She had been so caught up with Kanan, with the damage she could see, that she failed to see the scars Ezra had carried from the battle. "What happened on Malachor was not your fault."

"You don't know that! You weren't there! Kanan tried to get us to leave, but I told him we should stay, I told him we could trust Maul! He tried to warn me, tried to get me to see…" He choked on that word, his eyes narrowing in pain. All at once, the anger seeped out of him and he deflated. "And now he's shut me out," he said, his voice cracking.

"Kanan doesn't blame you, Ezra. He's just… struggling."

A derisive laugh bubbled out of him. "Yeah. Because of me."

She couldn't take it anymore. Hera stood and swung around the galley table, wrapping an arm around Ezra and pulling him into an embrace. "Stop, Ezra. Just… stop."

Ezra's body was stiff against hers, his arms still crossed across his chest, but he didn't pull away. Hera just held him against her chest, his forehead resting in the curve between her neck and shoulder. His breathing was ragged as he tried to keep his tears at bay. "I'm sorry," he eventually whispered.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Hera murmured back, resting her cheek on the top of his head. "I'm sorry I haven't been around. I never meant to make you feel abandoned."

Ezra's body shuddered at the word, and with an barely audible keen, Hera could feel a warm wetness on her shirt. All at once, she felt her guilt rise. It might have not been her intention, but she had abandoned him. She had told herself that Zeb and Sabine were there for Ezra, convinced herself that he was doing alright. At least better than Kanan was. She had kriffed up. She was the captain and it was her responsibility to make sure everyone in the crew was okay. Ezra shouldn't have had to carry this burden all on his own.

"Does… Does this mean you're not going to kick me off the Ghost?"

His voice was wet with tears and so filled with hesitant hope - as if she might say no - and it broke her heart. "I would never kick you out, Ezra. You're family, and family sticks together. You will always have a place here. No matter what."

There was nothing to say after that. The quickly cooling damp spot on her shoulder told Hera that Ezra had stopped crying. Soon after, Ezra pulled away, and Hera let him. She settled down in a crouch next to the table, keeping a hand on his shoulder. "We love you, Ezra. We always have."

Ezra's shoulders slumped. "I don't think Kanan feels that way anymore."

"Of course he does. He might not be in the best place right now, but he would do anything for you."

Ezra cringed at that. "Yeah, well, I don't want him to."

Hera frowned, unsure what she should do. There was more at work here than she was capable of fully understanding. Her boys had a bond through the Force that connected them in a way no regular sentient could imagine. Even so, Hera knew Kanan didn't blame Ezra. If anything, Kanan blamed himself for everything that had happened. Unfortunately, she doubted she could say anything that would convince Ezra of that.

Ezra picked up his datapad and stood. "There's still a few more hours until sunrise. You should rest."

Hera watched as he walked away. She felt like she was between an imploded star cluster and a black hole. She knew that Ezra had put up a wall for now. As much as she wanted to convince Ezra to rest, to forgive himself, to see that no one blamed him, she knew that he wasn't ready. That anything she said would be all too easily dismissed.

So reluctantly, she drank the rest of her caf and left. Not to sleep, but to get an early start on her duties for the day.

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