Hey! New story again! :D but still no update to It's France's Fault! Please don't kill me! This just suddenly hit me when I was reading a doujinshi called Brother and I kind of like the last part where Arthur said that he wants to go somewhere faraway and nice! I would have made this as a sequel fanfiction of that doujinshi but that was a lot more dramatic than this so I took a turn and made this instead before
I finished that one. Maybe I would one day post it but I still have this fever where everything start with a problem but still ended up having a happy ending. XD.
Oh, and please check my story in Wattpad. It's title is London Bridge: The Fallen Puppet. And before anyone points out later, Alfred and Arthur had been my characters from the start because of King Alfred the Great and King Arthur of Avalon. There would be more historical figure appearing later on in the chapter. Please enjoy! :D
Somewhere Faraway
Somewhere faraway was where Arthur had gone to. Somewhere faraway and nice where he can be happy and away from his misery. Somewhere faraway where he can start again. Somewhere faraway from his old life.
He wants to get away from the melancholy that would chase after him every time in that big house on that big street at that big town where everybody almost knew everybody and nobody almost forgets nobody. He wants to get away from this memories that seem to linger around his life, they were painful and awfully clingy inside the confines of his mind.
He wants to forget what he had left behind, he wants to forget about his lovely best friend who can never love him back the way he wanted him to so he went somewhere far away from that American town where he had lived since he was seven. Maybe he needed to polish his accent thoroughly, it is a bit tainted with those awful American accent they have in America. Or maybe he needed a new accent to his new person. He doesn't know, he just needed to be somewhere far away from Alfred F. Jones.
Maybe he was being a little coward or maybe he was being strong enough to give up something that will never be his, maybe he was just tired of waiting or perhaps he was merely letting go like what he should have done a long time ago when they're still in middle school and Alfred had rejected him to date another girl. Perhaps, he had seen reason or maybe, perhaps not.
He told his mother that he wants to go out and explore the world more, he doesn't want to be stuck in this little big town forever, he says. But truthfully, he just doesn't want to be stuck loving that annoying American he had thought can spare him just an ounce of intimate affection. So when nobody was snooping around for new gossip, he up and leave his town to find a place he can be happy and now he's here in this around the world cruise of his life. He was ever so grateful that he was born in a very wealthy family and was the youngest making him the favorite of both his parents much to his older brother's annoyance though he knew that Scott cares deeply about him, if he didn't, he wouldn't even bother to shower him with gifts every time he gets his salary.
He knows it was selfish, he was even putting off a year of proper education for his selfishness, but he needed to find his peace of mind before he breaks down and cannot be repaired again.
Love does that to you, makes you feel giddy and warm inside at first before striking an attack to your heart leaving you in a state of calamity and despair. He had once loved loving, he loved loving Alfred until that one summer day when they were about to be juniors that he saw the reason why he should stop loving the American, he should have known better than that.
Alfred was an amazing person, he is. He might offend or hurt you sometimes with his honesty but he has good intention. He knows he does, he got a taste of that honesty that summer. He told him he couldn't love him even if he continues waiting, he told him he will just be wasting his time, he told him to move on because he only ever saw him as his best friend.
"Going somewhere alone, mate?" An old man with a funny accent asked him, his deep blue eyes reminding him of the ocean underneath this ship.
"Somewhere faraway..." He told the old man who gave him a curt nod.
"I know that feeling, mate. I was like you when I was young, I was searching for some place to belong." The jaded senior let out a nostalgic sigh, "Got rejected by the first woman I ever loved and run away from the reality. Came here to the very harbor that our ship just left, find a nice boat to drag me away from my old life and realized I love the ocean. And then I find myself working in a ship where the ocean is brimming with adventure ever since..."
"Really? Maybe when I graduate high school, I'll become a seaman. Maybe I'll find the ocean lovable as well."
"You don't really need to follow my footsteps, lad. You need to find yours so that you can share a different story to someone like us. You'll not really be happy when you just copy a story."
Green eyes met smiling blue ones.
"Are you happy?" He asked and the old man's smile widened.
"I am but I know that I could be happier, I just didn't risk farther to be happier than what I am feeling all my life."
"Why could you be happier, Captain? You have a lovely ship that can take you and anyone who wanted to escape anywhere in this world. How could you be happier when you have everything right here?"
The old man known as Captain Steven Riley let out a bark of laughter, amused over this little man who reminds him so much of his younger self.
"I'm growing old, lad, but I still am searching for that certain place to belong. I did found myself a home in the sea but every time I step out of my ship and unto land, I could feel that something is still missing."
"And what may that be?"
Captain Steven looked at the boy who had been put under his wing for the mean time by his overprotective parents. He could see on those pool of peridots the shadows of his mistakes and regrets, he doesn't want that to happen to this young man.
"That woman I had first loved."
Can't you move on? I can't love you, I wouldn't even if I could. I'm sorry. Arthur heaved a sigh when the Captain's reply stirred those words back to life. It's been ten weeks since Alfred had uttered those words on that horrible summer day when he had gotten another taste of his boundless honesty, ten weeks since that day he found himself unable to eat anything before throwing it all up in his misery, ten weeks since Alfred put a stop on his stubbornness.
"Well, the woman might have been really happy now with her own family, Captain. Maybe, you should be satisfied with just being happy and not happier than that." He bitterly muttered and the old man patted his head in affection like those affections of old nostalgic grandparents his grandparents have been to him.
"She is. I saw her today with her grandchildren, their family was cruising as well." Captain Steven paused and then added, "And, you are right. I should be happier just being happy. Oh, and one more thing, it's nearly one o'clock and you still haven't eaten, the assistant your mother gave you would be freaking out right now. Your mother told me you are to be educated even if you're in a cruise. She doesn't like the thought of her baby being left behind by his peers."
"I'm not a baby!" Arthur shouted after the chuckling old Captain. Captain Steven was an old friend of his grandpa, an Australian man he had met when he's still in the navy of the queen.
Arthur spent his time in the one year cruise forgetting and going somewhere far away. Every stop at a different country was like a chance for another start for him but there was always this feeling of emptiness like it wasn't still that faraway place he was looking for.
"So, that wraps up our lesson for the year." Gabriel, his young Portuguese assistant who had graduated school far too early for his age, exclaimed happily.
"Gabriel, won't you enroll high school again? You're in my age and I'll be just a senior when I went back to World Academy! It's not fair you're really smart..."
"Well, I don't really have anything in my hand this year. I was thankful that I was given a job by your parents when you decided to go cruising and I'll really miss your cute eyebrows." Gabriel laughed when Arthur blushed.
Green eyes glossed with the nostalgic feeling of returning home. He hadn't found that faraway place, he hadn't found his 'somewhere faraway and nice where he could restart'. He had been so preoccupied of trying to find that somewhere faraway of his that Alfred slipped from his mind for a long while that the heavy pain in his heart became just a dull ache that can easily be overlooked.
He got one week before this cruise really ends and another two before school starts. He didn't know if he was ready to face everyone again.
Had they change? Did they change? What would they say if they see him again? What would he say to them?
He had left without saying goodbye to anyone. He hadn't want anyone to know, maybe he should have to avoid any questions. Maybe he should have left them an explanation even if it is a lie to cover up the truth.
The truth about him running away because his heart had been broken for the millionth time by the same man again. The truth about him being a complete and utter coward.
"Hey, Gabriel, will you believe me if I say I love you?" Arthur asked and the man with soft brown ones looked at him with a gentle smile.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you simply don't, silly Arthur. I know you all your life and I know when you don't mean anything you say." Gabriel hugged the Brit from behind, wrapping his arm around the slim waist of this jaded boy he had met when they're only in their diapers. He was very thankful when his aunt Alice and uncle Robert, Arthur's parents, had taken him in their home after his parents died when he was only an infant thus making him a part of Arthur's life very early. He hadn't known this poor, poor boy had been suffering with this Alfred guy he knows he had once known before he left their school for college when he was only thirteen. He hadn't known that when he left his old school he attended with Arthur that this boy would fall in love and face the reality of what love is.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. You already graduated college even before I graduated high school. You're even a licensed teacher now." Arthur muttered, leaning towards the embrace.
"But I do." Just to protect you, just to make you happy, just for you, little brother. Gabriel said softly. Arthur smiled.
Somewhere faraway... Arthur thought as he entered the vicinity of their large school with Gabriel in tow.
"Gabriel?" Arthur said, stopping from his walk. Gabriel stops behind him and he sighs.
"Won't you walk besides me?" Brown eyes softened when he looked at pleading big green eyes of his beloved pseudo-little brother. Arthur held out his hand and Gabriel grabbed it gently.
"You know, Art, you're too cute for your own good."
"I try." Arthur said making his friend laughed his charming laugh.
"Arthur-san?" He heard a familiar voice said from behind him who was then followed by various questions for confirmation if he was really that Arthur Kirkland who had disappeared for a year and now had returned as if everything was perfectly normal to just suddenly gone missing.
Arthur stiffened when he heard another familiar voice, he can't forget that voice, he had once love that voice and maybe he still do.
"Artie? Is that you?" The voice was a lot smoother and lovelier than before but it was still his voice. He tightened his grip around Gabriel's hand before facing the slowly gathering crowd of familiar faces he had left behind.
"H-hello, everyone. Funny seeing you here so early in school..." He shakily greeted before he was tackled by the American he had been trying to get over.
"It is you! God, how much I miss you!" Alfred said and he wanted to say he missed him too because he really did now that he think about it, he missed him a lot but he didn't dare voice it out.
"Could you let go of Arthur? If you still didn't notice, you dragged me down as well with your tackle, idiot." Gabriel said harshly before pulling Arthur out of the American's hug, protective over the boy he considers his baby brother.
Sky blue eyes met hazelnut brown in an intimidating stare.
"And who might you be?" Alfred asked while glancing at the arms wrapped around Arthur.
"I'm Gabriel Alves, please to meet you again, Alfred. And if you'll excuse us, we still have to enroll again" He leaves them with a charming smile that fooled everyone except Alfred.
Arthur felt the unwavering stare of Alfred and his friends.
Rumor has it that Alfred had thrown a royal fit when he heard that he was gone. They say that Alfred had barged in through their house to demand his whereabouts. His mother was furious at him for being a brat but then explained to him that he was out cruising the world for a year.
Alfred had tried contacting him throughout his one year vacation. He knew, he have been calling him everyday but he got fed up at it and close his phone for the remainder of his cruise, then the American started emailing him that he didn't really read and just proceeded to delete even though his heart was desperate to see what the American had written for him and then he just stopped checking his email account for fear that he might give in to his heart's desire and read one email from Alfred. He was trying to forget so he didn't want to be bothered with his pitiful love story.
For the first few weeks of school, Gabriel didn't let him out of his sight until he was sure that Alfred won't bother him anymore. He felt relieved when the American caught the drift and stops his persistent chase.
He let his guard down for a moment and he found himself wishing he hasn't or even wish for the absent Gabriel to suddenly pop out of nowhere when he found himself cornered by Alfred at the rooftop of the large building of the school.
"Why are you avoiding me, Arthur?" Arthur averted his green eyes when Alfred spoke.
"I wasn't avoiding you. I just don't have time for you." Alfred's eyes flashes in anger but then softened when he flinched but his voice was still laced with anger.
"Is it because you found yourself a boyfriend in your cruise and brings him home to rub it in my face that you're avoiding me?"
"Boyfriend? What do you mean?"
Alfred gripped Arthur's wrists tightly making the Brit whimpered. Somewhere faraway... His mind whispered, he needed to be somewhere faraway from Alfred.
"Don't fucking deny it! Gabriel is your boyfriend, right?! That's why you weren't replying to any of my mails and calls because you found Gabriel again! Always him over me!"
Arthur slapped Alfred hard when his wrists was freed. Alfred runs his hand through his hair before cupping his aching cheek.
"Why are you even bothered by Gabriel? So what if he's my boyfriend? It's not like you love me that way enough to be jealous that I have a boyfriend!" Arthur shouted at him.
"Goddamnit, Arthur! I am bothered about it because even though I'm still confused about my feelings towards you, I still know that this is not the normal kind of I like you as a friend because I like you more than that!"
"Don't fuck with me, Alfred. You made yourself clear that summer that you can never love me the way I do to you because you're fucking straight and was currently fucking Amanda!"
"So you went away because of that?"
Arthur took a shuddering breath and looked Alfred directly in the eyes.
"Because what can I do? You already told me you don't love me, can't love me back even if I waited forever. I can't just sit around forever looking at you as you have the time of your life with love when I'm here waiting for you to love me back. Alfred, you are confused of your feelings because when I'm been gone, you felt guilty. You feel guilty because you know why I left. You really don't love me, you never did, never will."
"But I do! I can"
Arthur offered a patronizing smile, green eyes glossing with tears.
"Don't force yourself, Alfred. You can't find peace when you force something you know you don't want to have." Then he left leaving behind a rather confused man.
Somewhere faraway... Where could it be?
It was halfway through the year when he gave up altogether.
He was reading in the library about the beautiful history of his true motherland, England, when Alfred approached him again. Alfred had been hanging around him ever since their conversation on the rooftop and here he is again.
"Hi, Artie. Fancy seeing you here." Alfred said as he sat down besides him, his presence too close for his comfort.
"Hello to you too, Alfred." Arthur replied, eyes never leaving from the textbook. Alfred frowned at that. They're not really that close anymore, not like before they are conscious about love. Nowadays, he saw him hanging around Gabriel, green eyes never straying away from the charming man as if he was the greatest thing in the world.
"Artiiiieeeee! Look at me!" He whined and Arthur closes his book with a loud slam that made him flinched. Blue orbs met livid greens.
"I looked at you. Now, won't you go away?"
"No." Alfred said before looking around the room and noticed that they're the only ones left aside from the librarian who seems to be going somewhere for a while. He waited until he saw the librarian walked out the door before following here to lock the library inside.
"What are you doing?"
"Arthur." He looked at the Brit when he finally locked the door. "Won't you speak to me again like you always have before? Won't you talk to me again in your cute little way? Won't you look at me again the way you do now to Gabriel?"
Arthur shook his head at Alfred and smiled sadly, lately he had been smiling a great deal, though it was often mixed with melancholy, he still smiled just for the sake of life.
"If I did, Alfred, I would be loving you again."
"Then love me once more!"
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I still love you though not as much as before because I taught myself to move on."
Alfred sat down again, this time in front of the Brit and holds his hands gently. Though what he really wants is to hold Arthur's heart again just to make sure he doesn't go away.
"Can you teach yourself to love me once more as much as before?" Alfred hoped. Arthur shook his head.
"Do you love Gabriel?" Alfred feared. Arthur didn't reply and dread wrapped itself around his stomach and heart. He did, didn't he? Arthur did. Alfred felt his heart quiver. Is he too late?
There was a brief silence before Arthur made a late response.
"I do." Arthur took his hands back. "I do but not the same as I have with you. He's my pseudo-big brother who had been with me since we're in diapers that's why I love him, I always have."
Alfred felt his hope inflate before deflating after Arthur added as his last thought.
"But I gave up over this silly little called love. It brought more pain than happiness. I..." Arthur paused, hesitant to continue his thought before taking a shaky sigh and speaking once more. "I don't want to love again. I'm contented with just being happy even without love."
Alfred thought of how he could have change his mind about love if he was earlier, if he was smarter with his emotions. He knew he loved this weathered man in front of him the moment he felt grief when he found out that he had run away to find some peace of mind far, far away from him.
"Oh, Arthur..."
Alfred then watched the man walk away from him again.
Somewhere faraway... And nice... And happy... Somewhere faraway from melancholy...
Alfred had stopped bothering him constantly, he was just there, always following every footsteps he took, always with that sad look on his face but not bothering. So, he asked one day.
"Did you fell in love with me truly, Alfred?" His clear peridot eyes staring through his American friend. Alfred looked up in surprise from his comic book.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, you got this sad look upon your face that spoke volumes of what sadness you are feeling as if you're heartbroken, as if you had someone you love so desperately but was too far to reach when in reality he was just there besides you, as if you're me long before I had left."
Alfred hummed a tune, his eyes staring up the wide sky as if wishing to be somewhere faraway like the way he had been feeling ever since.
"I do..."
Arthur nodded his head at his reply and holds his hand close to his heart.
"Don't worry, Alfred, you're not alone with that feeling. I have felt that way for quite a long time that I had gotten used to the feeling of ache. To love someone who don't or couldn't love you is very hard but you'll learn to cope with it like I have." He advised and he saw Alfred's lips twitched in that same smile he had been offering lately.
"Won't you love me back now that you know that I love you?"
"I couldn't. I told you I don't want to love again, I just wanted to find a place to be happy."
"Maybe you'll be happy with me." Alfred offered but Arthur shook his head.
"I've been with you for as long as I can remember, long before Gabriel left for college-"
"Gabriel went to college already?"
"Yes, because he's really smart! Smarter than any of us could be!" Arthur paused then punched Alfred for interrupting him. "But as I was saying, I've been with you for so long but I have never been truly happy. I did, before I told you I love you in middle school and before I left school for a year. I thought I had been happy but I realized I hadn't been really."
"Well that's a very offensive way to say that I failed to make you happy."
"I try..." Alfred laughed at that and punches Arthur playfully before settling down and looking up the sky.
"Have you wish to be somewhere faraway?" Alfred asked quietly, Arthur nodded.
"I have and I still do. Do you wish to be somewhere faraway too?"
Alfred didn't answer and instead, closes his eyes for a light nap under the shade of the tree. Arthur smiled and combed Alfred's hair, he did too, he knows.
Graduation is just around the corner and Arthur couldn't be happier to finally leave this suffocating place, somewhere faraway from here.
"Where are you going after graduation, Artie?" Alfred asked. They had gotten closer again but not as close as they had been before.
"Somewhere faraway..." He replied.
"Can I come?" Alfred questioned. He tilted his head towards the American besides him.
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm going faraway."
"Where is that?"
"I don''t know yet, I'm still searching for my 'somewhere faraway' so you can't come. Maybe next time."
"You promise?"
Arthur smiled. "I promise."
It was their last conversation for seven years, the promise they made still lingered in their mind. Arthur wondered what had happened to Alfred in those span of years.
Somewhere faraway... He's finally going to go somewhere faraway.
Dear Arthur,
I tried contacting you for so long but you always left your station before my letters come.
The sky was pregnant with white clouds that lazily float above him, the sun was glaringly bright but still felt nice. The ship was bustling with noise from different people and he thought for a moment that he found his place in the world.
I tried emailing you but thought better of it because it was not personal enough, I would like to message or call you but you never gave me your brand new phone number. Then I heard that you were staying for a long while in Belgium from Kiku so I thought of writing you again.
"Going alone somewhere faraway again, lad?" Captain Steven asked as he approached the young man leaning on the railings of his ship.
This might sound pretty pitiful of me but I would like to let you know rather than hide it forever leaving me to wonder what would happen if I tried. So, here it is
Arthur smiled at him. " No. I'm going home actually."
"That's odd. I thought you'll be searching for 'somewhere faraway' forever like I have."
It's been years now since the last time we had seen each other and I still am in love with you. Have you found your 'somewhere faraway' now?
Arthur laughed, gentle and polite. "Oh, no, I remember what you said so many years ago. You'll never be happy if you just copy a story."
"I told you that? Hmmm, you've got a great memory for a very popular author." Captain Steven scratched his chin in thought.
Are you happy? I wish I was as happy as you but if you found that somewhere faraway without me...
"I try." Arthur's green eyes were happier and livelier like he had shook his shadows away that hang around his life unlike all those melancholic years ago when they were darkened by the gloominess he had felt for so long. Captain Steven wonders if he had found that 'somewhere faraway' that makes him happy.
I feel bad for secretly wishing for you not to find that somewhere faraway because I wish you were near me instead. I hope that that 'somewhere faraway' cannot be found without me by your side. I'm sorry for being selfish. And if my wishes come true, will you be mine again if you didn't find that somewhere faraway you like so much?
"Have you found your somewhere faraway?" He asked. Arthur shook his head.
"I found better." The Brit replied, the old man tilted his head in a gesture to inquire farther.
I still love you, Arthur, I'm sorry for realizing that too late.
"I found my 'somewhere to belong' ."
Sincerely,
Alfred F. Jones
"And where could that be?"
Arthur clutched the letter in his pocket, crumpling it more and more. He smiled slyly at the captain.
"Somewhere faraway from here... Somewhere faraway and nice... Somewhere off the ocean and on the land... Somewhere faraway from my old, old life... Somewhere faraway with him again."
Dear Alfred,
I didn't find my 'somewhere faraway'.
Sincerely,
Arthur Kirkland
FIN
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And don't forget to check out my Wattpad story London Bridge: The Fallen Puppet!