Chapter 1: This Blows...And Swallows

"Drink for every titty shot, the word 'BOOST(o)', the word 'Harem', and every nosebleed," the computer screen told me. "Smash whatever's left of the bottle every time you wish you were Issei...lucky little prick…" I wrote the rules down and posted them on the wall near the TV. This game will destroy our livers...I'll make an adjustment to one of the rules. Next to the first rule, I scrawled "Opening, ending credits, and intermission images don't count." Now we're ready.

So, introductions. I'm James. I'm 22, lived in small towns most of my life, and a huge anime nut. Not much else to say about me.

The doorbell rang, making me grin. "It's open!" I yelled. The door opened and my two friends walked in, a ginger and a brunette, each with their own brand of booze. "You guys ready for one hell of a drinking game?"

"Would we be here if we weren't?" my ginger friend, Parker asked sarcastically. He was tall, with green eyes and a few freckles on his face.

"What anime are we watching, anyway?" Marcus, the brunette, asked. I simply held up a collection of DVD cases showing the same characters, the title in red and yellow. "High School DxD? Isn't that a hentai? Aren't you the good little catholic boy who's supposed to be against that kind of stuff?"

"No," I replied, "It's an ecchi anime, big difference. Hentai is just straight up porn."

"The fact that you know that somehow doesn't surprise me," Parker commented.

I ignored him as I continued. "Ecchi is essentially teasing and fanservice. And not only that, but this one in particular has a good storyline and mythology." I then gestured to the poster next to the TV. "Also, we're making it a drinking game. So we actually need to watch for these things."

"How often do these happen in this show?" Marcus asked, scratching his head.

"Depends on the subject," Parker answered. "Titty shots, usually at least one per episode. Boost, one every fight scene. Harem, every few episodes. Nosebleeds surprisingly only happen once or twice a season. That's a rarity for a show like this one."

"That's a pretty good estimate," I agreed. "I've seen this show only twice, so when I discovered a drinking game for it, I knew we needed to do it."

"You just want an excuse to act like a perv without us questioning it," Parker jabbed.

"Alcohol does make it easier to do that," Marcus agreed.

"Oh shut up you two," I grumbled. "What else would we be doing if I didn't get this idea?" They looked at each other before nodding, conceding the point. "Alright," I clapped, getting my friends attention, "so what do you guys have for your drinks?"

Parker went first, pulling out a six pack of green bottles. "I brought beer! And it's Heineken, not the shitty american ones!"

Marcus took offense immediately. "Hey, what's wrong with a Budweiser?"

My ginger friend deadpanned. "Dude, it's Budweiser. It's like having sex in a canoe."

"How so?"

I answered before my friend could. "It's fucking close to water!" We busted up laughing at my fellow brunette's expression before I went back to setting up the DVD player. "What about you Marcus? What do you have?"

Marcus hesitated before answering. "I brought some Fireball…"

"Whoa, really?" Parker exclaimed. "I didn't think you could handle that stuff."

"By the end of this marathon, we won't be able to handle anything other than water," I quipped. "I may have the wimpiest drinks here, but I can assure you that nobody will be thinking straight by the end of season one."

"What, you have smirnoff or something?" Parker asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, a twelve pack of Angry Orchards. Either way, IT'S GAME TIME!" I put the disk in and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle opener. This is gonna be great. Anime marathon made into a drinking game, ecchi anime as our subject...I opened a drawer and found a silver bottle opener. The only thing that'd make this better is if I could go in there myself.

When I came back, the main menu for the DVD had come on. I tossed the bottle opener to my friends after popping my own bottle's cap off and pushed 'play all' on the menu. It'd be great. Have my own Sacred Gear, maybe try to redeem a few characters that needed better development. I'd be down for that. The familiar introduction of Rias Gremory by spotting Issei and beating Akeno in chess prompted our first shot. Heck, maybe even getting a small harem of my own.

About a season and 4 bottles of booze in, my friends were passed out on the couch, having drunk most of their bottles in the season finale. What lightweights. But even as I watched Issei kick Riser Phenix's ass, I could feel myself nodding off. I tried my best not to sleep, even just to finish off the episode, but it got harder and harder to stay awake.

If any deity is listening, I thought, I want to help those who never got their chance to fix their mistakes. I want to be the one who helps those who need it most. I yawned and drifted off with my last conscious thought. I want to be in High School DxD to help people like Asia and Koneko.

Michael looked at the most recent prayer with interest. He'd seen what kind of person this boy was in the system. He was faithful, that much was sure, but according to the system, his wish was worth more than his actions permitted. Apparently, a lot of faithful had the same problem, but none moreso than this boy.

"What's got your brain all scrambled?" an almost tauntingly innocent voice asked. Michael looked over at the figure who wore a white tunic and a set of laurels over his blond, curly locks. His face was set in an amused smirk that screamed 'I was looking for someone to bug and you just happened to be here.'

Michael sighed, a sad frown taking the place of his usual warm smile. "It's nothing really, Apollo," he replied. "Just a matter of one of the Catholics in this particular universe."

Apollo skipped over to the machine the Archangel stood at. "Well, what about him?"

"Not five minutes ago, he made a sincere prayer to any deity willing to listen, meaning all major pantheons most likely heard it. He wanted to be transported to the world where the supernatural is not as well hidden just to be able to help people like Miss Asia Argento."

"Well, what's stopping you from granting it? He's a good kid, right? I mean, if I remember right, a kid who's way more perverted than him hosts the red dragon emperor's gear, so what's the big deal?"

"It's not really my place to say so," Michael urged. "You may be an ambassador for Zeus' pantheon, but I can't let you interfere with matters involving people of the Christian faith. Especially in this universe."

"Why not? I've seen this kid pop up a few times on Zeus' radar, even when he was just screwing around trying to write some weird story. Each time, the boss would send me or Phantasos to give his inspiration a kickstart. So, I ask again; what's stopping you from granting this kid's wish?"

"Because," Michael sighed again, looking back at the screen, "His actions as a member of the Catholic faith don't add up to the required amount of devotion needed for such a prayer to be answered by the christian system."

"How so?"

"As you know, one of the ten commandments given to Moses is 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and even my boss's son expanded on this law when he went to this version of Earth, stating even looking at a woman in a lecherous way is the same as committing adultery in his heart. But this boy, James, has continuously viewed images and videos of this exact product. It's taken a toll on his devotion, causing it to drop." He brought a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sat back down in his chair. "Even going through the sacrament of confession is barely raising his devotion."

"So what you're saying is, because this kid repeatedly broke a commandment, he's not allowed to get his wish to help people he learned to care about?" Apollo crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. "Sounds kinda screwy to me."

"It's not even that I don't want to, I do. It's that if I do, the system would be thrown into chaos. God isn't around to help us anymore, so I don't know how badly the system would crash. Not to mention Lord Jesus Christ, who helped fine-tune the system after his ascension back to heaven, has gone missing since the war between factions," Michael sighed again.

"This is really stressing you out, huh, Michael?" the greek god asked, frowning. The Archangel didn't answer. Apollo thought for a moment before snapping his fingers. "That's it!"

"What?"

"What if we helped the kid out?"

Michael's eyes narrowed calculatingly. "Explain."

"What if we gave the system a reason to accept him, regardless of his background?" Michael didn't reply, instead regarding the greek god with a suspicious eye. "Like say, giving him a mission from the heavens to protect someone?" Michael's eyes widened at this statement.

"Are you saying to...yes that would work. It would prevent the system from overloading at the paradox and allow James to live out his wish to protect these people he wants." He leaned over a keyboard, entering in the proper commands. On the screen showing James' living room, a golden circle shone around the boy for all of ten seconds before he and it disappeared. A moment later he arrived in front of Michael and Apollo, still completely asleep.

Apollo gasped. "I just realized something. Even if he gets there, he won't have any way to protect himself against the big time threats of this world!"

"Which is why I'm giving him a gift. God left the formula for making Sacred Gears before the war. Though I never had enough power to do it myself."

"I can help on that front. Looking back on this kid's life, I think I want to support him as best I can."

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

"I'm a greek god, I can pull a few strings. Besides, Phantasos owes me a favor." Michael didn't dignify that with an answer while Apollo seemed to grin as he continued on his train of thought. "I think I know what to make this kid's Sacred Gear. However, it will come at a cost."

"What kind of cost?" Michael asked seriously.

Apollo's gaze took on a more calculating edge, while the smirk stayed on his face. "What really happened to God during the great War Between Factions?"

My dreams never usually had this feeling of wind. Nor did they usually feel this cold. I opened my eyes slowly, only to get a shot of adrenaline as I realized that, I was indeed, falling toward the ground. Naturally, I screamed my head off as I neared the concrete, bracing for impact.

That did not mean I was expecting to be caught by my leg about 14 feet from the ground. Due to this, I heard a loud crack and felt the searing pain of my femur being dislocated from the sudden stop.

"Cosa stavi facendo per cadere nella casa di tuo padre santo? (What were you doing to fall into the home of our Holy Father?)" a stern voice asked in Italian, grunting from my weight.

I looked up in an odd mixture of fear and relief at the black slacks and shirt the man holding me was wearing. "You wouldn't happen to speak English, would you, Padre?" I grit out, only to frown. My voice does not normally sound that high pitched.

The priest pulled me up through the balcony, both of us panting before he tried asking again, only with what little english he knew. "Why you fall here?"

I shook my head, trying to ignore the pain in my leg from where the priest gripped it. "I don't even know where we are."

The priest rose an eyebrow in suspicion. "You not know? This Vaticano."

I froze, processing his words. "What? Say again, please?"

"This is Vaticano. Home of Holy Father, Pope Francisco."

Many thoughts ran through my head, but only one stood out among the rest. What idiot dropped me in the Vatican when I can't speak a lick of italian to save my life?!

"Padre?" a young female voice peeped. The both of us turned to see a blond preteen wearing a nun's veil and a blue robe and holy crap she looks familiar. "Parsa parlargli inglese...se va bene…(I can talk to him in English...if that's okay…)" The priest nodded as she walked over to me. "Hello," That sounds like a very familiar voice! "My name is Asia Argento. What's your name?"

It took a few seconds to find my voice so I could reply. "J-James. Where am I?"

"You're in the Vatican," Asia responded calmly. "Pope Francis was just elected two weeks ago."

"But that's impossible!" I exclaimed, causing both people to jump. "He's been the pope for over 5 years now! How could he have only just been...wait…" Something seemed to click in place for me. "What year is it right now?"

"Today is March 27, 2013."

Great, so not only have I been kidnapped, but I've been deaged and brought back in time. I don't even know how I got here!

"Are you okay?" Asia looked concerned.

Tears pricked my eyes as I resisted breaking down in panic. The pain in my leg seemed to get even worse. "No...I'm not okay...I'm in another country where I can't even speak the native language, and I'm losing my mind because I've been reduced in age and my leg is killing me!"

A pair of rings seemed to materialize on her hands as she turned to the priest. "È ferito? (Is he hurt?)"

"La sua gamba potrebbe essere ferita, ma in caso contrario, no. (His leg might be injured, but otherwise, no.)"

Asia nodded and placed her hands on my leg. A green glow seemed to emit from them, numbing my leg and cementing my suspicion of where I was. I'm not just deaged and kidnapped, I'm all that and in High School DxD. The realization seemed to take all of my energy, causing me to pass out.

"James."

…

"James."

...what?

"Open your eyes, James."

I did so, only to be nearly blinded by the sheer amount of white in the area. I winced before slowly opening my eyes again.

"Okay," I sighed, "where am I, and who's talking?"

"Turn around," the voice from before answered behind me. I did so, seeing a man with long blond hair wearing an armored, red and white robe bearing a golden cross down the middle. If that alone wasn't an indicator of who this was, then the ten white wings that spread from his back added to his grandiose appearance. A halo hovered above his head as his sea green eyes stared warmly at me. "It's nice to meet you, James."

I stared back uncertainly. "Am I dead or about to die?"

Michael chuckled. "No, and I must apologize for your rather rude awakening. I wasn't expecting you to fall like that."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked testily.

"It means that while you were meant to go there, it was not meant to be in the air. You were meant to arrive just on the yard."

"Why the Vatican, though? At least in Japan, I'd learn the language in a few months via immersion."

"You're in a world with supernatural beings that could possibly destroy the planet. You need to be able to combat them if need be. At the Vatican, you will be trained in exorcisms and combat so that you won't die in your first battle."

"You mean you sent me to a parallel universe, as well as another country, when the only language I know is English and a few phrases in Japanese, neither of which are the main language of my current location? Not just that, but with beings able to rip me to shreds just by looking at me?" Suffice to say, I was not happy.

Michael sighed, his smile giving way to a small frown. "I will admit, there not much foresight as to that part of the plan. Though, I do know how I can make up for it."

"How is that? Giving me the flaming tongues like the apostles at Pentecost?"

Michael smiled again. "Exactly. Though I will warn you, because of your previous 'actions', it will sting a bit." He began muttering as a golden ball of fire appeared in his hand.

"Wait, what do you-" I never finished because he threw the fireball, hitting me in the mouth while I spoke. He wasn't kidding, it was like three angry hornets flew into my mouth and stung my tongue multiple times. After a few minutes of screaming the pain died down to the point where I could talk right again. "Not gonna lie, Michael, dick move bro. Dick move."

The archangel simply chuckled at me. "I did warn you. Now to the point of why you're here." I straightened up at this. "I brought you to this world to give you a mission."

I rose an eyebrow. "A mission from the Almighty to me? This oughta be good."

Michael stared back at me, the frown back on his face. "Then I will keep it brief. I wish for you to prevent war from breaking out between the factions while you are in this world." My eyes widened. "You are aware of what happens here through the show you watched, yes? I want you to use this knowledge to protect the fragile peace that we have."

"ARE YOU NUTS?!" I yelled. "I can't even protect myself very well, how am I supposed to stop a war from breaking out?!"

"That's why you were given a little boost," Michael replied. I tilted my head in confusion. "There is one more thing I would like you to do. This is a more personal mission from me." I tilted my head further in confusion. "I want you to find God."

"Um...I know I'm currently not in the best mind state, but isn't the big guy dead in this universe?"

"Everyone but me and one other seems to think so. But his body was never recovered after the war. Not to mention that, even with the system in place now, prayers still go to whom they are addressed. It's why your prayer was heard over most others." The world around us rumbled a bit. "Any other questions you have will be answered later. For now, I must give a message to the new Pope about you and miss Asia. Your test will begin when you wake up."

Before I could even ask what he meant, Michael disappeared, and the white faded into black. I knew I still wasn't alone, however, as the reverse shadow around me still hadn't faded, and I could practically feel the gaze of something else. Questions buzzed in my head, many of which were directed about the power Michael talked about.

Why me, though? Did my prayer actually get answered? The world around me shook as I felt myself begin to wake up.

[This should be interesting. I look forward to what you do with your knowledge.]

Asia sat beside the foreign newcomer's bed, anxious for him to wake up. The fear in his eyes when he realized where he was with no way to communicate was something she could relate to. Ever since her old home discovered her ability to heal, she'd been moved to multiple places before being brought to the vatican to help heal the previous Pope.

The feeling of not knowing what to say because nobody can understand you was bad enough, but not knowing where you were or how you got there? That had to have been difficult. The cardinals had been called into the main sanctuary with Pope Francis to discuss something important, but she didn't know what. All she was told was to stay by this boy's side since she was the only one who could communicate with him.

I suppose it helps to have somebody to talk to, she thought bitterly, but even learning a new language by immersion is difficult. She prayed quietly that her charge would wake up soon, if only to talk with her some more. Knowing more about where he was from might help find a way to get him back.

A knock on the door startled her from her thoughts. The door opened revealing the priest that found the boy as he fell. "What's his condition, Miss Asia?" the priest asked stoically.

"He's fine overall," the preteen replied, looking to the boy, James, she recalled. "He just needs rest right now." She opened the window, trying to get a flow of air going before she looked back to the priest. "What happened with the Cardinals, Father Louis?"

The priest shook his head. "I'm as in the dark as you are. Though I did hear rumors of an angel appearing before his holiness." Asia's eyes widened. An angel? That must mean something important was happening. She had a suspicion of it involving the unconscious boy on the bed. "The fact that he survived with only a dislocated leg was nothing short of a miracle," the priest continued. "I'm surprised I was even able to catch him."

"Then I suggest you thank God you did," a new voice spoke. The pair turned, only to bow at the new arrival.

"Your Holiness!" Asia exclaimed. "What are you doing here, if you don't mind my asking?"

The Pope smiled at the nun. "Hello, Asia. I came to check on our new guest. It seems the angel was right about him not being from here."

Asia tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean? James hasn't woken up yet."

"Is that his name, dear?" When Asia nodded, he continued. "When the angel appeared to me, he said that this boy was from another world similar to our own, brought here to train as a bodyguard."

"Another...world? But why would he be brought here? And who would he be guarding?"

"He was brought here to guard you, Asia." The girl's eyes widened at this statement. "According to the angel, he is to be trained in combat and exorcisms so any threats may be neutralized quickly."

"Forgive my interruption, Your Holiness," Father Louis spoke stoically, "but if it's a bodyguard you need for Asia, why not send an already trained exorcist with her? I believe she and the pair of Xenovia and Irina would get along greatly."

The pope shook his head. "While they do perform well for their age, the angel specifically asked for this boy to be her guard. Even from here, I can sense his dormant power."

Father Louis' eyes widened. "Do you mean that he's got a power like her?"

Pope Francis nodded, the smile giving way to a serious frown. "What is said here is only between those in this room and the Cardinals. The angel told me his power was called a Sacred Gear. This is something given only to a special few before they are born, and according to the angel, this boy has yet to awaken it."

Asia had questions about the Sacred Gear, but something told her the holy father wasn't the one to ask about them. So she opted to ask something else instead. "Did the angel say what his world was like?"

"Only that it was like ours, except the supernatural is a much better kept secret."

Asia nodded in acceptance. If the supernatural entities like Angels and Devils still existed, then it wouldn't be much of a stretch to say James didn't know much about them.

Azazel listened to the conversation with interest from the roof above the window. Michael had contacted him with news of this boy's arrival, with the promise to keep an eye on him. He agreed, as he believed it would be a start to peace between the factions. His subordinates would disagree with it, he knew, which was why he was making this mission something he did personally.

A boy from another world with knowledge of the future given a Sacred Gear, he thought with a small grin. Michael, you're trying to seduce me.

The fallen angel frowned as one of the men spoke. He could practically feel the underlying greed in his voice. A rogue priest in the Vatican? This should be fun...

I groaned at the sound of voices reaching my ears. They were speaking Italian, like they were before I passed out, but this time I could understand it. It sounded like they were talking about me.

I kept my breathing slow and controlled, so I didn't alert them I was awake. Why? I don't know. Something didn't sound right though. I know I should be able to, I know I'm supposed to, but for some reason, the way they were talking about me set off a couple of warnings.

None moreso than the Pope. His voice didn't sound like the argentinian man I remember from the few speeches he did that I saw on TV. And even though Asia told him my name, bless her heart, he had yet to refer to me by it. It was the tone that really told me to be careful, though. It was the kind of tone that one uses when they see a thing they really want and know they're gonna get it.

Something is seriously wrong here. I began stirring, catching their attention as I slowly sat up. I figured if I was gonna figure this out, I would have to face the crowd.

"Oh, James!" Asia exclaimed. "I didn't know if you would wake up this soon. How are you feeling?"

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the incoming headache. "Like I was dragged around St. Peter's Square tied to a drag racer. What happened?"

"After you passed out, I brought you here. Since then, I've just been waiting for you to wake up." I gave the blond a small smile, before looking to the rest of the crowd. More specifically, at his 'holiness'. He looked like his photos for the most part. Mostly bald, white robes, a pair of glasses resting on his nose, the works. But I knew this wasn't him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting his Holiness?" I asked cautiously.

"I assume you know how you got here?" he asked in reply. I nodded, making him continue. "Then you know what must be done to ensure your mission is successful."

"Vaguely. I was told I'd be trained for a combat oriented position."

The 'pope' nodded. "You will be trained in exorcisms and combat by one of our finest. Father Louis," the man snapped to attention. "You will be in charge of making sure he knows where to go." The 'pope' then looked back at me. "Your training will begin tomorrow. From this day forward, you are an exorcist in training, and it will not be easy. I wish you the best of luck." With that, the two adults walked out of the room, closing the door behind them.

Asia made to leave as well, but stopped as I tugged on her robe. "Don't trust that man," I whispered, glaring at the door. "Whoever that was, that was not Pope Francis."

Her eyes widened. "How do you know that?"

"He's too skinny, and his hair was never that long. I know this because, like I said earlier, he's been the Pope in my world for over five years. That man, no matter how hard he tries, looks nothing like him." Not to mention, it's way too soon for him to be out of that meeting with Michael. If my hunch is correct, somebody leaked information before I arrived. Probably to the Fallen Angels.

"B-but like you said, it could be a time thing, right? You said he's been in power for over five years, right?"

I shook my head. "Not in this case. The biggest piece against him is the eyes. In my world, the guy had brown eyes, not bright green." Seeing the look of fear on Asia's face, I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, relax. If my training goes well, I should be able to find out who this is and what they want. For now, I'll be fine." Asia hesitated, before nodding and going to the door.

"I'll go bring you some food," she decided before leaving the room.

I sighed, leaning back in my bed. Is this my test, Michael? I asked the angel mentally. Finding proof that this person is impersonating the pope? I clenched a fist in determination. Whatever this is, I'll get this imposter out of here.

A/N: Now I'm probably gonna get a lot of shit for this, but I'm trying something somewhat new here. That said, any constructive criticism is welcome to help make this a better story.

In terms of lore, from what I remember, the supernatural is supposed to be a secret for the most part. So it would make sense that in the DxDverse it's not as well kept as they would like. Meanwhile, in our universe, as far as we know, these things don't even exist.

As always, Review, Follow, Favorite, and I'll see you all next time.