"Garfield! I want you to take Cloudpaw, Thornpaw, and Mousefur on a hunting patrol!" Bluestar yowled from her position on the Highrock.
"What's the point of hunting if you can't catch lasagna?" Complained Garfield.
Bluestar didn't reply. She just shook her head and sighed.
Garfield felt someone tug on his tail. "What's lasagna?" Garfield looked down to see Tawnykit gazing up at him with wide, curious eyes.
"A delicious, mouthwatering delicacy," Garfield felt his mouth water at the thought of plates upon plates of lasagna. "I don't understand how you cats were able to live this long without eating lasagna or pizza."
"Garfield!"
Garfield turned his head at the sound of his name, in time to see a very frustrated Mousefur storm towards him.
Mousefur prodded Garfield's belly with a paw. "Hurry up!"
Groaning dramatically, Garfield flopped around and got on his paws. He stumbled to the camp entrance, beckoning the rest of the patrol to follow him.
Garfield collapsed on the ground. "I give up," He panted, causing the blackbird he was stalking to fly away, squawking in alarm. Before it could get out of reach, Thornpaw jumped up and batted the blackbird to the ground, killing it with a swift bite to the neck.
Mousefur sniffed disdainfully at Garfield before laying her prey - two mice and a plump rabbit - on the fresh-kill pile. She looked pointedly at Garfield's protruding stomach.
Garfield hadn't caught anything. He didn't miss Bluestar's disappointed glance or the looks of scorn on other cats' faces. He couldn't care less.
Ignoring the mutters around him, Garfield dragged a mouse from the fresh-kill pile, fighting the urge to vomit as fur filled his mouth. He forced himself to swallow the bite of mouse, gagging as it went down his throat. Garfield pushed the mouse away, unable to stomach another bite.
Fireheart, ThunderClan's deputy, padded to Garfield's side. "Do you want that mouse?"
Garfield gingerly took another bite of the mouse, cringing as the disgusting flavour flooded his mouth. "Definitely not."
As Fireheart happily dug into the mouse's remains, Garfield's mind wandered to fantasies of eating Jon's famous lasagna. He even missed Odie, the dumb mutt.
Looking around at the forest, Garfield realized the forest could never be his home.
Garfield stretched lazily, purring loudly as Jon stroked him.
He had left ThunderClan mostly because the forest didn't grow lasagna, but also partially because life in the forest sucked. He didn't know what Fireheart was thinking of when he joined ThunderClan. Trading days of comfort and lasagna for eating raw meat and sleeping in the cold.
Garfield yowled in pain when someone trod on his tail. Spinning around, he glared into Odie's face. "Stupid mutt, get out of my way!" Odie tried to lick his face. Garfield ducked out of the way. "Don't even think about it."
Garfield trotted to Jon's side. "What's for dinner?"
He licked his whiskers as Jon lifted a steaming plate of lasagna.
Garfield followed the mouthwatering smell, attempting to leap gracefully onto the table. He flailed in mid-air, screeching, grabbing at nothing before falling back on the floor with a thump. Garfield jumped again, scrabbling at the edge of the wooden table, hauling himself up.
I must be fatter than I thought.
There was no time for Garfield to nurse his bruised pride. He crammed two squares of lasagna into his mouth. The hot, gooey snack melted in his mouth. Garfield sighed in contentment, savouring the taste of lasagna on his tongue.
Garfield glanced swiftly at the kitchen door, checking to see if Jon was back. He sniffed the air and pricked his ears for any signs that would tell him Jon's whereabouts. Once Garfield confirmed that Jon wasn't coming back anytime soon, he snagged a piece of lasagna on each paw using his claws.
After Garfield gobbled those piece, he looked longingly at the plate of lasagna still on the table. His stomach growled for more.
One more piece can't hurt.
Garfield wolfed down the next two pieces of lasagna. Then he took more, and more. All the while, he kept on repeating one more piece can't hurt in his head.
In no time, the entire platter of lasagna was demolished. Garfield swiped his tongue over his muzzle, tasting the remains of the cheesy flavour. His hunger was satiated for now.
Garfield stared at the empty platter. Whoops.
He dropped to the ground, wincing as his hip connected with the hard table leg. Grimacing in pain, he hobbled to his cat bed.
Garfield settled down for a nap, his belly full. Odie bounded over to him, licking him using his gigantic tongue. Garfield's fur bristled, fluffing out so he looked twice his size. He hissed in anger.
Odie ignored Garfield's anger and nudged the stick at his feet. Garfield rolled his eyes and threw the stick as far as he could. The moment he did, Odie sprinted away, yipping in happiness.
Garfield sank back into his bed, stretching. Just as he was getting comfortable, Jon's voice jolted him awake. Garfield reached up and buried his face under the pillow.
"Garfield. Care to tell me why the lasagna I baked has mysteriously disappeared?" There was no mistaking the anger in Jon's voice.
"And that is my cue to go," Garfield began to inch towards the door.
"Not so fast," Jon blocked his way.
Right then Odie came running and yipping with excitement, a stick clenched in his jaws. He dropped the stick at Garfield's feet, thumping his wagging tail on the floor.
An idea popped into Garfield's head. "Fetch!" Garfield threw the stick at Jon's face.
Odie barreled Jon over in his haste to get his stick. Odie stood over Jon's face, victorious as his slobber dripped on Jon's face.
Garfield took his chance at escape. He slipped out the living room and ran out the door.