A/N: This little plot bunny came to me earlier this year after messing about with some photomanips on tumblr. I've had quite a bit of this written for a while but because of the old writers block I've hated every word of it until recently. I've now had the time to sit down and properly go through it and edit it, fleshing it out a bit and come up with some semblance of a story that I'm happy with. This won't be a large multichapter; I'm already snowed under with work on SQUF, but it will probably reach about five chapters. It's just a little something to get the old juices flowing again, so take it for what it is and enjoy. Xxx
"For I am laden but strong enough,
To carry on when things get tough.
I'm not sure of where I roam,
But I know I'll make it home.
I got reasons…"
The Art of Turning to Stone
Chapter One:
Reasons
Cloud Strife hunkered down into his duffle coat, pulling the fur lined collar closer around his neck. Five hundred and fifty seven children had streamed past him in their rush to leave Traverse T XIII and standing like a frozen, silent sentinel on the steps of the public comprehensive, he'd watched them all pair off, find their parents and dissolve into the main street; a chaotic mess of pedestrians and slow moving traffic, car horns and squealing children. He looked at his wrist watch and decided to give it another ten minutes. There were always stragglers and Cloud didn't want to miss anyone.
Pressing his frozen lips together he scanned his eyes across the thinning crowd, blinking away stray snowflakes that got caught behind his glasses and idly wondered when the sleet would clear long enough for spring to break its way through. He'd had enough of winter. Checking his watch again, eager to get back inside and start marking his papers, his brows furrowed when he caught sight of a young girl stood waiting at the bottom of the steps. She'd been there for the best part of fifteen minutes and was clearly waiting for someone. Being careful on the grit strewn steps, he made his way down to the sidewalk, only just recognising the girl as he approached.
'You're Kairi Leonhart, aren't you?' He asked, his voice politely inquisitive.
The girl turned, eyebrows creased in mild annoyance before they smoothed out and a friendly smile tugged the corners of her mouth.
'Oh, high Mr Strife.' She greeted casually, turning her gaze back down the road expectantly.
'Are you waiting for someone?'
'My brother, he's late.' Kairi replied, her voice trembling with a note of concern as she turned and looked back up the street the other way. 'He's never normally late.'
Cloud followed her gaze, unsure who he was looking for.
'Maybe he got lost. You're new to town, right?' Cloud heard the girl sigh; her face screwed up in annoyance as she backed up and plonked herself heavily on the bottom step.
'Yeah but he's not stupid.' She muttered, clearly upset at having been forgotten and the last pupil to still be at school.
The crowds had completely dissipated now and only passers-by occupied the streets, the traffic still slow moving in the slushy mess that piled up in the gutters.
Cloud watched her toe the mixture of salt and grit around on the pavement, the tip of her red nose poking out of the hood of her jacket as she slumped down into her scarf, her expression equal parts miserable and unimpressed.
'Well why don't you come and wait inside. You don't know how long he's gonna be.' Cloud suggested, thinking of his coffee pot and the stack of papers waiting for him in his class room.
'If I don't wait here, he won't know where to find me.'
Resisting the urge to look at his watch again, Cloud cast his gaze about, still unsure as to why and what good it would do as he'd never met the girls brother. As he was about to suggest they visit the office and find a number they could call, Kairi stood up, her scowl deepening.
'Where have you been? I've been waiting here for twenty minutes.'
Cloud turned and watched a tall man in black leather weave between the stationary traffic, his face flushed and red from the obvious run he'd taken to get there as he hopped up on to the curb. His brows were furrowed, reminding Cloud of Kairi, and his features were stern, an obvious don't fucking start look on his face as he came to a stop outside the school.
'I got here as fast as I could.' He commented, a little out of breath.
'If you'd just let me go home on my own this wouldn't happen.' The young girl sulked, looking up at her older brother with an intensely displeased scowl.
'And I told you no fucking way.' The man replied, his own scowl even more impressive.
Cloud resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at the exchange and instead cleared his throat, breaking the glaring match that had started between the two siblings.
'Well, seeing as how you're fine now, Kairi, I'll head back inside.' Giving the tall man a sceptical once over, taking in the black leather trousers and heavy boots Cloud made his way up the steps and left his newest pupil to make her way home.
'Sure, thanks Mr Strife.' Kairi called over her shoulder as her teacher left. Turning back to her brother she resumed her scowling.
'It'd save you time. You wouldn't have to come all this way across town just to pick me up.' She began her daily bargaining, resolute and impervious to the deep sigh that her brother made as he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder and steered her in the direction of the subway.
'We're not doing this, Kairi. I pick you up from school, that's final.'
'But it's just the subway, Leon. Its twenty minutes. I can do that on my own.' She wined.
'You're eleven years old. It's not happening.' Leon snapped back, tired of having the same argument day after day. 'Who was that?' he added, looking back over his shoulder at the main doors of Traverse T XIII.
'Who was who?' Kairi snapped.
'The dork with the glasses!'
'Mr Strife isn't a dork. He's my teacher.' She told him indignantly as they trudged through the bitter weather. 'Can I just do it one time? I'll show you it's not that big of a deal. Please, Leon.'
'Enough, Kairi. You're not using the subway on your own and that's it. Just drop it.' Leon raised his voice, grabbing hold of her shoulder to tug her through the thickening crowds as they neared the entrance, the flow of people almost like a vacuum as it pulled them down the steps and into the underbelly of the city.
Leon snapped awake, his heart hammering in his chest, the pall of sleep he'd been heavily under torn open as he jolted and threw himself forward; one foot landing heavily on his bedroom floor as he nearly toppled out of bed. Letting out a single gasp he swallowed the scream back down and placed a clammy palm over his mouth. Seconds passed and so too did the feeling of suffocating and with a small dry heave Leon managed to push past the worst of it. Glancing at his digital clock he shoved sweaty bangs out of his face and switched the alarm off, the piercing beeping noise making him wince. Frowning at his shaking fingers, he clenched his fist and threw back his sheets, standing in one fluid motion. Pulling his door open he marched down the dingy hall and banged on his sister's door as he passed, rattling the handle for good measure.
'Kairi, get your ass out of bed… got a court date today!' He yelled, marching off into the bathroom. Switching the shower on, he banged on his sister's door twice more before the water had heated up enough, and with a disgruntled ''Mm up!' Kairi pulled her door open and slouched out down the hall into the living room.
Crossing barefoot into the kitchenette she pressed the button on the coffee maker for Leon and grabbed herself a glass of juice from the fridge and waited for her brother to finish in the bathroom. By the time the coffee maker had clicked off again, Leon had appeared from the steam clouded bathroom, wrapped in a towel.
Sipping her juice she flicked through the morning cartoons and cast her gaze sideways watching her brother make their breakfast from under moody and suspicious lids and a deep set frown. In the last year she'd made more memories with her brother than she'd had in a lifetime and quite uninvited, thoughts of her orphanage and her years spent in foster care seemed to replace every normal childhood memory she felt she'd been robbed of. They made her hard and cross and knowing exactly why, she blamed him for them. She was unaware of the details, but the death of her mother and father had been linked to her older brother and the years she had consequently spent in care were entirely his fault. Her young and impressionable mind had cobbled together all it could make sense of and she had been left with a bitter and abiding resentment that she had no idea how to handle. He was all she had, yet she needed someone to blame. She had no idea if he was responsible for all of her troubles, but she was uncaring. He was all she had, and his feet were where she would lay the blame.
Seeing him now was equal parts strange and comforting. She remembered him vaguely from her past. Images and shadows of a much younger boy, smiling and playing with her, a passing shadow of a woman she recalled as their mother and an indistinct haze she knew as her father; hers and Leon's paternity unconnected. But the man that he'd become now was strange and new to her. He was tall and imposing, brittle and changeable. His years spent away had changed him the most, she thought. His body was ridged and tough, scared and muscular and resembled nothing of the young boy whom had been her big brother all those years ago, before their mother had died and everything had turned to shit.
Leon set her breakfast on the coffee table in front of her.
'Eat your toast and then get dressed. We've gotta be at the court house by nine.' He told her, his tone leaving no room for argument. She watched him disappear into his room and felt her mood darken.
'What if I've changed my mind? What if I don't wanna live here anymore?' She called out moodily, knowing she was testing him. Leon reappeared, towel drying his hair, his face dark and unimpressed.
'You wanna go back into care?' He shot back at her, clearly not willing to play her games this morning. He never was. Kairi couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him smile.
'No.' She sulked, knowing she didn't really have an argument for this, but she wanted to try him anyways.
Leon didn't even bother to say anything else. He disappeared back into his room, shutting his door as he dressed and left Kairi to sort herself.
They made it to the court house, ten minutes late, freezing cold and tension prickling between them as Leon dragged his sister up the marble steps, the hem of his suit pants wet from the slushy snow piled up outside. The only time Kairi ever saw her brother in a suit was whenever they were required to attend court for custody hearings and papers that needed signing and reviews and so many meetings, she'd lost count of the hours of school she'd missed just so that her brother could have full and legal guardianship over her. She didn't really know why he bothered.
Pulling her to a stop outside of court number four, Leon checked his watch for the fiftieth time and scanned the crowd for their attorney.
'You're late.' A displeased voice made them both jump.
The woman was tall and wiry, her blond hair scrapped back into a proficient bun, her round glasses perched on the edge of her sharp, upturned nose hiding none of her icy glare.
'Sorry, Quistis. Have they started yet?' Leon asked, refusing to look at his younger sister.
'They can't start. Not without you. I suggest you get in there.' Quistis said, her tone stern but her features softening as she nodded towards the court room.
With an intensely displeased glare, Leon nodded his head for Kairi to walk ahead of him and guided her into the court room for what was, hopefully, their last time.
'Mr Leonhart, good of you to join us.' The judge intoned clearly unimpressed.
'Sorry your honour.' Leon replied as contritely as he knew how. He ushered his sister into the pews and settled himself in his proper seat next to Quistis, his mouth feeling suddenly very dry, his head pounding from his broken night's sleep. He looked nervously to his left, eyeing his attorney as she shuffled through her papers and brought out her latest report. The whole scenario brought back uncomfortable memories for him, but he shook them off, determined that he would focus. He couldn't lose sight of what he was here for. He'd spent too many years waiting.
Adjacent to them sat an officious looking woman in an ill-fitting nylon skirt suit. Her cream blouse bobbled and greying around the edges where she had washed it too many times, her doughy frame spilling out over the belt cinched too tightly.
'Miss Schuler, I presume you've prepared your report.' The judge asked without bothering to lift his gaze.
The bitch was all that stood between Leon and Kairi and in the year since his sister had come to live with him Rebecca Schuler had challenged him at every turn.
'I have your Honour. And regardless of Mr Leonhart's efforts in relation to his financial affairs, child services still have reservations regarding his record of offending. He-'
'Miss Schuler, I'm well aware of Mr Leonhart's lengthy prison term but we have been through this matter before. Since his release he has complied with all of his parole stipulations. In fact, in some areas he has even exceeded the expectations of his release terms. I remain unconvinced that his criminal record prevents him from being a good parent. Do you have any other evidence to the contrary?' The judge flicked his hand out to the side, an eyebrow raised in anticipation as Miss Schuler began riffling through her papers, clearly flustered.
'Th…there were concerns about accommodation. The neighbourhood Mr Leonhart has chosen for Kairi is far from ideal. It-'
'It is within the stipulated five mile radius of her preferred school, which was your main objection in our last hearing.' Quistis finally cut in. 'It was your demand that Kairi transfer to Treverse T XIII, forcing Squall and Kairi to uproot and move apartments, wasn't it?' She asked pointedly over her silver spectacles.
'Yes, but ideally it would have been better if Mr Leonhart had-'
'It is my opinion that Mr Leonhart has done everything you've asked of him. He has demonstrated that he has nothing but his sibling's best interest in mind and has, at all times, shown remarkable dedication to her fostering. Having taken all of the relevant facts into consideration over the past eighteen months I see no reason to delay this decision any further. All I require now is a few moments with Kairi.' The judge interrupted, his tone firm and commanding as he beckoned with his finger for the young girl to step forward.
With a suddenly terrified look on her face, Kairi slowly got to her feet, her eyes flicking between the towering, imposing judge and her brother, who was looking over his shoulder at her with those strange and steely, unreadable eyes. Coming to a stop before the bench, the young girl looked up at the robed man and waited.
'Young lady, do you understand what is happening here today?'
Kairi nodded, resisting the urge to look behind her at her brother.
'And do you understand the implications if I decide to rule in favour of child services?'
Again she nodded, feeling a strong knot of dread pull tight in her stomach at the thought. All of those years of care homes and foster families had made her bitter, she knew. But after today it would be final. There would never be any going back, no matter what.
'And do you want to live with your brother?' The judge asked, his face turning kind and gentle as he asked her what she wanted.
Unable to help herself, Kairi glanced over her shoulder and looked to Leon, his hands clasped tightly together on the table top as he watched her. Despite everything she'd been through, despite the fact that he'd left, despite the fact that she'd felt abandoned and angry her entire life, she didn't want to be without him. He was a stranger to her, yes. But he was her brother.
'He's family.' She said simply. 'I want to be with my family.'
The diner was quiet this time of day and the hour felt strange and unusual to Kairi who was used to being in school with her friends. But the opportunity for a burger and a milkshake would never be passed up regardless of the circumstances and she sat and mulled over their eventful morning while she chewed thoughtfully on a french fry.
Leon sat sullenly in the opposite booth, his hand brought up to cover the lip he was worrying quietly between his teeth as he toyed idly with a sachet of sweetener. His tie was long gone and his top button was undone, his gaze cast out into the busy street as he watched the crowd hurry by, his brows furrowed low.
Kairi watched him from beneath lowered lashes, hoping she wasn't being too obvious with her covert staring, and felt those strange and juxtaposing emotions that had gripped her so intently during the hearing. As much as she hated her brother for her shadowed and disjointed past, unknowing exactly the reasons why, she couldn't help but feel a small amount of relief. There would be no more moving. No more new families or schools and friends. This was it. Her life was as stable as it was ever going to get and for that, she couldn't help but feel thankful.
'So what happens now?' She asked around the straw she was gripping between her teeth, her tall milkshake glass balanced precariously on the edge of the table as she reached up to take a drink.
Leon's gaze flicked to hers and he idly reached out, sliding the base of the glass back a few inches to bring it away from the edge.
'We go home.' Leon replied, his deep voice level and serious. 'Carry on like we always have.'
Kairi noted his sombre mood and inwardly sighed. She didn't know why, but she had been hoping that the day's revelations and the judge's decision would cheer him up a bit. She was dismayed to discover that not even the prospect of them being a proper family was enough to bring a smile to her brother's face.
'Well try not to be too happy about it.' She snapped, pulling her drink back to the edge of the table.
'Who said I'm not happy about it?' Leon retorted, frowning even deeper as a bit of strawberry milkshake sloshed over onto the table top.
Kairi mopped it up with her sleeve, ducking her head against her brother's icy glare and dared to push him a little bit further.
'You're not gonna be an asshole about it are you? Cos that routine is kinda getting old, Leon.' She bit out, occupying herself with cleaning the patch of spilt milkshake knowing full well that she'd stepped over the line with the cuss word.
Leon reached out and picked the glass up and slammed it back down in the middle of the table, making her jump.
'Watch your mouth, Kairi.' He hissed under his breath as a waitress passed by. Once she was gone Leon checked his temper, his voice still deadly cool as he snapped at the young girl. 'It's not been easy the last two years. I'm doing the best I can, alright?'
Kairi huffed and slouched back into her booth, her appetite gone now as her cheeks heated with anger and humiliation.
'Whatever.' She muttered, crossing her arms and turning her face away to sulk.
Leon tried his best to curb his anger, dousing the flames as best he knew how and tried to reason with himself. She was just a kid, sure. But there were times when he was certain he was losing control and that someday that anger she possessed, that pure and well managed rage that was so obviously bubbling under the surface would come spilling out and he would burn in the chaos. Unconsciously he tucked that fear back into the dark corners of his mind and he sat back in his own booth, turning his gaze back out the window as he mulled over their morning.
Now that it had happened, Leon wasn't sure how to process it. For two years he had scrimped and saved and jumped through hoops to get his sister from out of that care home. Never once had he resented her for it. It was a promise he had made a long time ago and he'd never forgotten it. Years locked up in a cell had given him time enough to remember.
Looking across at his little sister, sat sulking in her plastic booth, Leon felt a strange affectionate nostalgia consume him. She had been exactly the same as a baby. She'd pouted and sulked and frowned her way to getting most things she'd wanted, and their mother, who had adored her longed-for daughter had gladly given in every time. That powerful sense of protection he had felt as a boy was no less profound as he sat and watched her squirm under his scrutiny and despite what she thought of him, Leon knew – he had always known – he would do whatever it took to take care of her. He'd sacrifice anything – even his freedom – if it meant keeping her safe. Their mother could rest easy on that account. Raine's last request had been all that had occupied Leon's thoughts for the last eleven years; he'd not fail her now.
'I know it's… difficult.' Leon began, unsure where he was taking this but he felt the need to attempt some sort or reassurance. 'It's not what either of us planned, but I promise… I'm gonna make it work, Kairi. Things'll get better. We just have to give it some time.'
Kairi looked down at her clasped hands with faux indifference and continued to sulk, unwilling to concede to her brother and his olive branch of peace.
'Whatever.' She repeated again, clearly drawing a line under the whole exchange.
Leon sighed, exasperated with the young girl and couldn't even bring himself to finish his now cold cup of coffee.
'Finish your fries.' He muttered, pushing the plate a little close to her. They lapsed back into silence as reluctantly, Kairi reached forward and finished the rest of her meal.
"I'd dance alone
I'd turn into stone for you
I'd cry my eyes blind
I'd lose my poor mind without you
I'd stop all the clocks
I'd live in a box just with you…"
-Saint Saviour