Disclaimer: If I owned Battle Royale, Shinji woulda shot Kiriyama in the face. Lots of times. And Takako woulda kicked Mitsuko's ass.
Hi there! I've written two one-shot Shinji/Takako stories, and here's the big one I've been talking about in both of the one-shots.
First off—this story is completely, totally the opposite of what you'd expect from a BR story. There's so many great BR fics out there depicting other ideas of what happened on that infamous island to everyone's favorite class of junior high schoolers… but I wanted to do something DIFFERENT. So I came up with this.
My favorite part of BR, aside from the kickass storyline and basically every other part about it, except for Mitsuko and Niida, I hate them, is the characters! They're so cool! Don't YOU wish you could hang out with Shuuya and Yoshi and the gang? Or stare at Kawada until he turns around and wonders WHY you're ogling him? Or sneak into the boys' locker room after some basketball game and watch Shinji change his—you get it!
Anyway, I took the characters and dropped them into a completely different, comical setting, basically living the lives they lived BEFORE the program happened and totally wrecked their lives. :)
Anyway, if you've read anything else of mine you'll know Shinji is my favorite of them all. I absolutely love him the best :) He's followed closely by Shuuya, Takako and Shogo, (unfortunately I couldn't work Shogo in very well… :P) so it mostly features Shinji, Shuuya, and Takako. I think it's a funny story. Hell, I wrote the thing and I laugh at certain parts. If you hate the idea of turning BR into a comedy story, then GO AWAY, you'll hate this too!
Give it a shot; I'm posting the whole thing up anyway, even if you guys hate it! :D
Rating for this is T, PG-13, whatever; there's profanity, sexual innuendo, ect., but nothing too bad. ;)
Chapter One
Shinji Mimura liked being the best at everything. And he was.
He was the best basketball player in the school, for one. Shioriwa Junior High School was the number one junior high school for basketball in the country, and he was the best basketball player in the school, which, when you put the two together, ultimately made him the best basketball player in the country. Pretty good accomplishment for a fifteen-year-old!
He was great at hacking into databases, computers, anything—his uncle DID teach him how to do that, but his natural instincts helped him pick it up fast.
He was also ridiculously good looking, if he did say so himself, and not to mention the only guy he knew who could pull off a hoop earring and not look stupid.
Bouncing the basketball in his right hand a few times, he raised his arms and shot the ball, smirking triumphantly as the ball sailed through the mesh net. Sure, this was only gym class, but his reputation as "the greatest basketball player of all time…at this school" wouldn't uphold itself. His perfect, "Never-ever-ever-ever missed a shot and never-ever-ever-ever will" record hadn't been broken yet, and he wasn't planning on breaking it anytime soon either.
"MI-MU-RA!! MI-MU-RA!!" screamed the unofficial Shinji Mimura fan club, who were occupying their regular seats on the gym bleachers, and apparently were skipping their respective class, because none of them belonged in this gym class.
Shinji raised his hands triumphantly in the direction of the girls, and shot them a grin, causing nearly half of them to fall off their seats and the other half to scream hysterically in their excitement. What a bunch of nutcases. Still, Shinji never got tired of hearing girls screaming his name.
"Cut it out, Mim, or your head's gonna explode," said Shuuya Nanahara, one of Shinji's best friends. Although Shuuya wanted to be a rock star when he grew up, in the meantime he made a pretty good point guard, so here he was.
"Hey, it's not MY fault I'm the greatest thing that's ever happened to basketball," Shinji replied, still playing up the crowd of girls.
"I don't mean it like that, you jerk. You're leading them on," Shuuya complained.
"Why the hell do you care? I don't see Noriko out there," Shinji grinned, watching Shuuya fluster.
"I-I-I do not like Noriko!! She's just a friend!!" Shuuya stammered, blushing. A pretty friend, he mentally added, thinking of pretty Noriko Nakagawa and her smile and her laugh and her big, brown eyes and her cute—
"Oh, shut the hell up," he finished lamely.
Shinji laughed. "Whatever. C'mon, bell's about to ring and I'm hungry." He tossed the ball on the ball rack and he and Shuuya left the gym, the girls having gotten to their feet and screaming for an encore.
"Damn," Shuuya commented. "Holy shit, Mim. Just when we're tied, your stupid fan club comes along and quadruples your score. How many're you at? I'm at eight... Megumi's apparently been checking me out when I'm not looking." He sighed.
Shinji thought for a second. Being two of the most attractive and desirable guys in school, he and Shuuya often kept track of how many girls proclaimed their uncontrollable love for them every day. Neither one of them had a steady girlfriend throughout their years at the school, so most of the girls hadn't lost hope yet. "If you count those lunatics, at least 20," he said, running his fingers through his hair to fix it back up again. "Wish they'd leave me alone."
"Don't hold your breath," Shuuya grinned, taking off his sweaty gym shirt and buttoning his white school oxford-style shirt up. "Why don't you just ask one of 'em out, Mim?"
"Because I don't LIKE any of them," Shinji complained, pulling his own shirt off (woohoo, I love being author xD). "They're annoying. Besides, I don't want a girlfriend. They're whiny and all high-maintenance. I don't wanna put up with that crap. Sure, you get ass, but I'm Shinji Mimura, I can get that whenever I want it."
"Not too cocky there," Shuuya said, rolling his eyes. "Aside from the ass part, I'm with you. Too much trouble having a girlfriend."
Shinji laughed. "C'mon, Shu, how dumb do you think I am? You've had the hots for Noriko ever since you saw her."
"No, I don't!" Shuuya whined. "Dammit, Mim! You're such an asshole!"
"Oh no! I've got no reason to live anymore!" Shinji said, holding his hand to his forehead in mock horror. "I think I might just die! Shuuya Nanahara, the unofficial Pussy of the Year, just called me an asshole!" He frowned thoughtfully. "You think if I put my gym shorts on my head they wouldn't recognize me leaving?"
"No, they'd recognize your ass," Shuuya replied. Seeing the look Shinji was giving him, he held up his hands defensively. "Hey! Stop giving me that look, man, those girls in my math class were talking about it!" He pushed the locker room door open and the two boys headed in the direction of the school door.
"Just my luck, to be born so ridiculously good looking," Shinji said, elbowing Shuuya. "Too bad for you, Shu. You'd have double the girls chasing you if only you didn't hang around me."
"You are such a dick," Shuuya grumbled. "Why DO I hang with you again?"
"Because you know greatness when you see it," Shinji grinned. "Besides, I've always—" THUMP. "Oww!"
As the two boys walked past the door to the girls' locker room, it swung open and out came Takako Chigusa, who wasn't watching where she was going. She walked right into Shinji. Or Shinji walked right into her. Either way, there was a collision, and both of them yelped, fell backwards, and hit the floor.
"Oww," Takako scowled, brushing her long orange-streaked hair out of her face. "Dammit, Mimura! You blind or something?"
"What the hell are you talking about? You walked into me!" Shinji pointed out, rubbing his shoulder.
"Well lucky for you I'm not hurt," Takako replied. "Otherwise I'd beat your hoop-shooting ass into next week, you hear me?"
"If you were hurt, you wouldn't be able to beat my ass," Shinji smirked, getting to his feet. "There's no need to apologize. I'm fine, no thanks to you. Need a hand?"
Takako scowled at Shinji's offered hand and got up, crossing her arms. "I'm not taking any help from you. Even if I WAS hurt—"
"Alright, alright, save your breath, I get it," Shinji said quickly, shutting her up. "Geez, Takako. Sugi mentioned that you could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I thought he was exaggerating."
Takako scowled. "And I hear you're a man-whore, Mimura, but I'm not shoving that into your face, am I?"
Shinji scowled right back. Takako Chigusa could be so annoying sometimes he wanted to strangle her. Too bad she was gorgeous. What a waste.
"That was a long time ago. Get some new material, why don't you," Shinji replied, resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at her like his nine-year-old sister would in this situation.
"Yeah, whatever. This conversation is over," Takako said smugly, and walked off.
"Geez. What a psycho," Shuuya commented.
"A hot psycho," Shinji agreed. "But a psycho none the less. Wanna get going, before any more girls so blinded by their lust walk right into me?"
"I heard that, Mimura!!" Takako hollered over her shoulder.
"As I intended, Takako darling," Shinji called back, while Shuuya chuckled.
"Girls. Confusing, aren't they?" Shuuya laughed.
"Eh, not really," Shinji said indifferently.
"Yeah? Then how come we haven't figured them out yet?" Shuuya wondered.
"Hell if I know. Grow a pair and ask Noriko out, why don't you? Then you can write a report about it," Shinji chuckled, ducking Shuuya's light-hearted punch.
Yay, so the first chapter comes to a close! What'd you think? Love it? Hate it? Want me to meet the business end of Kiriyama's Uzi? (like Shinji did :( …I'll stop)
Anyway, this is basically just setting up for the real deal in the next chapter. How'd I do keeping Shinji, Shuuya and Takako in character? I think I did alright. Tell me! REVIEW! REVIEW! Hell, even flame me if you want, a flame is better than no review. I don't stay up til midnight writing slop to make myself feel good!
(and of course I couldn't resist putting in the half-naked Shinji and Shuuya references… heheheheh… c'mon, in the manga you see Mitsuko naked practically every other page, would it have KILLED THEM to put in a few half-naked Shinji and Shuuya and Kawada pictures for the girls? GIRLS LIKE BR TOO!!)