Chapter 1- Let The War Begin

I was in my regular front row seat tapping my pencil on the desk, trying to listen to the teacher up front. But I was too out of it to focus. It's after all the hard work I've been doing and the sleep I've lost to it. We're doing lots of projects right now and the last one we just finished I was forced to do by myself, therefore causing me these heavy eyelids in the middle of the day. Sadly enough, we'll be informed about a new one today. And we're not even granted to choose our partners like in the good old days of grade school.

Some things from those days haven't changed though, like the girls' constant plotting and giggling. Usually I couldn't care less about it, but lately a lot of their whispering and peeking looks have been directed at me, some at Cartman as well. Can't say I enjoy it at all, it's fourth grade all over again like with the freaking list and when the fucktard spread it around that him and I were a gay couple. I could still up to this day kick his ass for that.

Finally Mr. Mackey turned to the matter of hand.

'Alright listen up students, m'kay? Wendy will tell you about the new project now. So you wake up and pay some attention, Eric m'kay!'

I turn my gaze to the right, noticing that Cartman has zoned out on top of his desk. I lean on my side to see if he's awake or not. His eyes are closed so to find out, I tap his shoulder. He nudges it off, a little too rough to be asleep. He's awake alright.

I give him another tap, but a lot harder than the last one. He shrugs it off too, and that's when I see his eyes briefly fly open and a grin has crept out on his face. He thinks this is fun huh… With my temper rising and a book in my hand I jump out of my seat and head to the front of his desk. He's still pretending to be asleep that fat bastard. So with my weapon of choice I slam it right on his head, and immediately he snaps like a cat coming in contact with water.

'OW! YOU GODDAMN JEW! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?' Cartman roars at me while irritated rubbing the back of his head.

'Because fat ass! You're not paying attention, you never do. God, I swear Cartman you're such a-'

'Dick wad?' Wendy suddenly interrupts from the seat behind Cartman, her voice cynical and her eyebrows raised. I frown at her a bit confused, not sure if she's being funny or want to join in on provoking Cartman. He's still rubbing the struck spot on his head while muttering something indistinctive.

'Um... Yeah...' I say while still appearing confounded. Then Wendy bursts into a giggle and leans down over her notepad to write something down, she even covers it with her hand while smiling to herself. That's when Mr. Mackey decides to scold me.

'Take your seat now Kyle, this is very out of respect, m'kay!' I get a few amused looks from people around while obediently ambling back to my desk. Mr. Mackey continues. 'Now I will give the word over to Wendy meanwhile I have to go take care of something in my office.' His eyes flicker around nervously for a short moment before he nods at Wendy and then leaves the class room. Wendy rises from her chair and clears her throat while strutting up to the front.

'Okay, this is a group project... We girls have been discussing this for a while, about four years to be exact.' Wendy says looking at everyone is the back row, she smiles when exchanging looks with the girls who start tittering. Cartman snorts.

'You gotta be fucking kidding me. What were you planning four years ago you hippie, burning your bras? Will you please control your feminazi, dude.' He groans and directs the last sentence to Stan diagonally behind him. He glares tiredly back at Cartman.

'Really? You know that's getting old.' He casually throws back. Cartman sighs with a hint of a growl in his throat.

'Whatever, gay wad.' He turns back around resting his chin in his palm and bored eyes back on Wendy. She looks a bit unsure from the disruption but collects herself by clearing her throat again.

'Um… So! Let's begin with pairing everyone up. Bebe, you're with Clyde.' Wendy bids with a strained smile, to which Bebe sighs and dejected falls down over her tabletop.

'What?! Clyde… why can't I be with Kyle?' She whines and when she meets my glance a flirty smile escapes her lips, so I quickly look away because it felt like being hit by a dart arrow. I wonder for a second why Bebe didn't get to choose her partner since I thought she was Wendy's right hand when it came to these girl stuff. But shortly, Wendy gives an answer to that.

'Bebe, it's not my fault you weren't at the meeting. If you had been attending, you would know that every pairing serves a purpose.' Wendy explains in her usual tone she uses when trying to appear grownup, but her voice is a bit too bright to convey real authority. 'You can't switch partners so please go take your seat by Clyde.' She decisively commands pointing over to a day dreaming Clyde Donovan, he snaps out if it though when he hears his name being called. Bebe sighs with exaggerated disappointment and does like she was told by Wendy.

'Okay now, the rest of you girls, you already know your designated partners right?' Wendy asks rhetorically with a clever smile, causing some more tittering in the back. I can't remember the last time she acted this shrewd. She's always been a bit stuck up and thinks she's smarter and more well-read than everyone else. And from trying to be so politically correct all the time she's always being such a bitch to Cartman, she's really wasting her time there, it's not like he will ever change. However, she's always being offended by something or someone so seeing her so excited like this, grinning ingeniously like any of the other girls, it's very unsettling.

While I'm still inside my head the girls get up from their seats and swarm about in the class room, taking their new seats next to their prearranged partners, creating pairs of just girls or one girl and a boy. That is until the only ones left are Kenny, Stan, Butters, Cartman, and I. Now this I find funny, are we last by purpose? Wendy takes a look at the note pad she's been hugging.

'Kenny?' She calls and Kenny pipes up his head. 'Kenny, you're with Butters.' Wendy states pointing to Butters who starts fidgeting in his seat.

'Wha-what? I'm with Kenny? we-well... okay, if you say so Miss Wendy...' He stutters and moves over to his new partner. Kenny gives him a friendly smile through the hood although I can see his disappointment of not being paired with a girl.

'Okay good. Stan… yours truly.' Wendy smiles and tilts her body in some sort of curtsy. 'And last but not least Cartman and Kyle, you guys are-' Then she gets interrupted by Bebe's loud mouth.

'You're not seriously pairing those two up are you?' She asks cocking her head with skeptical eyebrows.

'She's right, I don't wanna be paired up with a dirty money grubbing Jew!' Cartman suddenly chimes in and tosses me a haste glance.

'Why don't you just fail on the project then!' I retort, balling my hands into fists as I feel my heart start racing in anger. Cartman grunts and runs a hand through his hair.

'Fine then, I guess I'd rather be with a Jew than a damned Hippie.' He mutters and gives me a short sardonic sneer. Now, this is when I'm supposed to explode in anger, but to my horror I feel my cheeks heat up at him doing that, there's something in his piercing gaze setting me paralyzed.

'You CAN'T be serious. Kyle, you'd rather be with Stan right?' Bebe pipes up, now sitting plumped on top of the desk with her sneakers on the chair. She gazes me intriguingly waiting for an answer. I want to concur, but the words get stuck in my throat and I swallow them down. I can't tell which gaze on me is causing me the most angst, it's a close call between the blue ones framed with cheap eyeliner or the brown glaring ones still spearing through me. My liking for Wendy goes slightly up a notch when she speaks up again and steals their attention.

'No it's fine Bebe, it's already set. Like I said, no one is switching partner.' She exhorts and sweeps her hand through the air in a declining gesture. 'Any questions?' That's when Red hums to gain attention.

'I don't know, Wendy. I mean, Bebe's kinda right. Maybe Kyle should be with Stan instead, you know since they get along better and all. I just think it's best if those two pair up.' She carefully states, her eyes flickering a bit hesitant between Wendy, Stan and me. Wendy look a bit shocked and her mouth is slightly gaping.

'You gotta be kidding me. We already agreed about this cause it's better for Cartman and Kyle to be paired up! There will be no Kyle and Stan. Did you NOT read the latest fiction?' Wendy scolds Red who rolls her eyes in discretion and looks away, as if she already knew her argument would lose. I myself however get caught on the word 'fiction', now they're really down to their secret language.

'I read it!' Bebe exclaims with a raised hand. 'But seriously… It was not that great. I read the one with the other two and it was so perfect, cause it's easy and so true! I just can't see it honestly... I mean... well... look at it!' She goes on and shrugs on the last word.

'What the hell?' Craig mutters while shaking his head in bewilderment, with that he is pin pointing every other guy's current mind state in the room. Wendy can spot the confusion emerging and she turns to my so-called partner.

'Cartman, have you read any... "fictions?" She asks with a concerned expression on her face. Cartman gives her a very sniffy look.

'What part of me says faggot? I don't read, you hippie.' He scowls and slouches back with crossed arms in his seat. Wendy meets his insult with a daring expression and leans on her hip.

'That's funny, then what were you doing on your phone half an hour ago?'

Cartman smacks his tongue against his palate and rolls his eyes. 'That was no faggy fiction, it was about WWII.' Wendy nods, but in a taunting way to say she doesn't believe him.

'Sure. You know there are fictions about WWII as well. They're really good actually, you'd like them.'

'Please don't read the same stuff Cartman does.' Stan chimes in, slightly joking with an undertone of distress.

'No no, it's nothing like that. It's just a fiction, hon. Don't worry.' Wendy snickers while crossing her legs in girly flirtation.

'What's the deal with all the talk about fiction?' Stan asks and some guy from further back shouts 'Yes, thank you!'

'Nothing you need to know about, Stan.' Wendy straightens up and waves a hand in front of her face. 'Anyway, like I said you're being paired up with me-' Then she once again get cut off by Bebe and I begin to feel impatient.

'Why do you make them suffer like that Wendy?!' Bebe squeals.

'What is it now?' Wendy groans, sounding like she shares my feeling right now.

'They should not be paired together!' Bebe keeps wailing and points with her hand at me and Cartman. 'Kyle deserves better than the fat Nazi!'

'AY!' Cartman bawls.

'What the heck kind of project are we doing here really?' Craig interpolates but the girls ignore him.

'Will you LAY OFF already! There's no depth to that other fiction anyway!' Wendy exclaims in a much more aggravated tone than earlier.

'You KNOW what I'm talking about, he's not fit to be paired with a hot twink like Kyle!' Bebe argues.

'A WHAT?!' I yell out and I can hear people around me bursting into laughter, strangely including Cartman who was just being insulted. I've heard the term before and I'm nowhere near comfortable with being associated with it, at least not by Bebe, and certainly not in this secret language of theirs.

'You can't be serious.' Wendy gives Bebe a weary stare.

'I AM! Look at them, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!'

'STOP it Bebe! We've already decided this!'

'Or maybe YOU just decided it!' Red suddenly cries out, her chair screeches against the floor when she rises and the sound hits my eardrums like shearing knives, causing me to shiver by reflex.

There is a brief shock lingering for a few seconds by Red's outburst, simply because nobody has ever witnessed her snapping like that. However some girls begin to discuss with each other and Wendy tries to regain the word.

'Look, all I'm saying is that it's stupid to judge anyone by their size and-'

'Here she goes again! Save us your diplomacy, PLEASE!' Bebe yells in her excruciating falsetto voice, causing my ears to ring.

'Ow... fuck.' I groan covering them with my hands and stares down on my desk.

'You okay?' It's Cartman's voice, when I look up he's frowning at me with… concern? How does he dare being worried about me.

'Do I LOOK okay, fat ass?!' I spit, to which Cartman doesn't flinch at all, not even changing his complexion. I keep covering my ears to try muffling the noises around, but to my wonder it only gets worse as the ringing increases. The girls won't pipe down but keep squealing with those falsetto voices I loathe.

'I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHOS TELLING ME! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE CAUSE OF HI-'

'WILL YOU BITCHES STOP YELLING?!' Cartman roars from his seat. A jolt goes through the girls as they all wince to the sudden male voice blasting through the room. 'You want us all to go deaf here?! Nobody fucking CARES about your fiction or pairing crap. So stop pushing Kahl around like a goddamn puppet and get to the point!'

'Yeah, just get this shit over with, fucking Christ...' Craig slurs while rubbing his forehead. Such a sweet winning rush goes through me when a few other guys start to mumble in agreement. Bebe even jumps down from the table and reclaims her seat.

'Fucking bitches.' Cartman huffs and leans back in his seat, folding his arms and avoids Wendy's stare of disempowered contempt. Despite trying to hide it I can see he's still boiling of anger, his chest is rising and sinking like he just did a 100 meter sprint.

An awkward atmosphere lingers for a moment before Wendy exhales audibly and then she strides over the desk Bebe and Clyde are at. For the first time, Wendy now has all eyes on her when she slams her note pad down on the tabletop and leans down on her hands, having Bebe submissively look up at her.

'This isn't over. I declare war on this matter. It has to be settled, once and for all.' Wendy calmly states

'You got it, skank.' Bebe retorts. Wendy gives her a snorting smile before she picks up her note pad and heads back to her seat.

What just happened? I'm sure everyone has the question echoing in their mind, however nobody utters it.

If this is a war declared by Wendy and Bebe nobody will be able to predict the end, it could end tomorrow or last for years for all I know. If it took a turn for the second outcome, I'm sure they still would never forget the cause. Chef had warned us more than once about girls' ability to never forget something about anything. So this cannot be good.

/|\/|\

I hope you all enjoyed that one, I allow my thanks go to Lana, with the excellent ideas, and my sister Heather as well, and I also thank (I won't say his name :) ) svartbil, for being my helpful editor, and sorry dude that I gave such a rough time last night, but it was funny as hell XD

(yeah it was hilarious…)

Like I said before, any ideas you want to share for ANY of my fictions, I would gladly take and include you in it to let you know my thanks, we need all the help we can get. This is a group fiction we're all doing, so they can write in here if they wanted to add something inside, It really wouldn't bother me as long as I knew where it was headed, then I could get back on it.

Thanks again to my friends
-TheGamergirl97
-svartbil
-serendityrain711

I know you guys are working hard, but I'm thankful you guys stuck, and for everything, and if you can't do a certain thing, I will understand, and you can carry on your marry way :)

If anyone who is reading this would like to help out at all, please do, we would be more than happy to accept a new member of the fiction :) I plan on making this one a long one, so look forward to that.

-Ask1KyleBroflovski