Somewhere I Belong, a harry potter fanfic

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me

Sirius Black. Those two words alone brought memories of happiness, laughter and rebellion. Now a days they only brought the images of death, and the tears that came with it. He always wanted to go down fighting, die a valiant death. Then again, what Gryffindor didn't want to die trying?

Sirius scoffed at the idea. Not that anyone could hear him, mind you. He was trapped. Trapped inside a world that wasn't his. Trapped behind a veil.

I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me

After that day in the department of mysteries nobodies lives had been the same. Nobody living, nobody dead. Sirius falling through the veil had upset the balance inside. Their world, the veil, was the same as ours. The same colors, people, places and even time. The only problem was people in the veil weren't seen or heard. They couldn't feel…

Sirius laughed bitterly. What he would give to feel again! Pain, sorrow, happiness and despair. Some days he would sit watching his godson in the real world. Trying his hardest to feel, his only chance to leave that hellish world he lived in.

But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

That brings us to today. Once again Sirius was watching Harry sift through his old possessions, trying not to cry but damn near close. Sirius saw the pain his godson was going through, and he desperately wanted to share it, for more than one reason. He wanted to help carry Harry's burden but he knew James and Lily were already doing that wherever they were.

He brought his clenched fist down onto the stone floor, which he imagined would be quite cold in the unusually frigid autumn weather. So many times he had attempted to think of his best mate's death so long that he would be able to materialize where he was in the real world. He wanted to laugh bitterly in the face of death, but no, he would never be able to.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

"What am I?" Sirius screamed hearing his voice bounce off of the walls where it shouldn't. He surely couldn't be human, humans could feel. He knew he has his emotions all bottled up deep down. Held there by an unbreakable force, unable to break free.

Sirius just came to the conclusion that he wasn't real. Just a figment of someone's imagination held half way between Earth, and the after-life. And how he wished that person would just let go of him already.

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

Sirius began shaking his head frantically. No, he had to be real. He had to be real, for Harry. He couldn't believe he had let himself fall through to this menace of a place. It was his own fault, not god forsaken Bella. He should have deflected the simple stunner! He should be there for his newly found dysfunctional family. They needed him! And he needed them more than he even knew.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

A deep fluttering feeling began to arise from deep down inside of Sirius. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that he was beginning to feel.

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

Sirius started pounding on the floor. He had to live, for the sake of everyone. He needed to avenge James and Lily, watch after Harry, and beat that Pettigrew to a bloody pulp!

His eyes began to glaze over, tears forming in his now colorful eyes. They once again held the pigment of Sirius Black the untouchable, the untamable, and most importantly the un-killable.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

"No, I'm real!" Sirius croaked looking up to the heavens, searching it for someone who might be able to help him "Please, I need to live!"

Sirius didn't notice his Godson staring in his direction, pale faced… as if he'd seen a ghost. Tears began rolling down Sirius' face, dipping into his mouth and rolling back down his chin until they fell off and his the floor. His head snapped up. No echo. Sirius turned his head so fast to Harry that it almost fell off.

"Sirius?" Harry whispered in the smallest voice possible.

Sirius smiled. Not a cocky, goofy grin that was his usual trademark. A small, happy to be alive, smile. Because that was what he was, happy to be alive and it was all because of one thing.

He had felt.