I slammed the bedroom door loudly and slid down the frame. It felt as if everything was crumbling down around me and I felt so lost. I felt like I was choking and my heart had been shattered. I clawed at my chest where I could feel a gaping pain. Sobs racked my body and I looked around the room helplessly. I wanted the pain to be gone. It was all too much, how could one live like this day after day? Just waking up each morning wanting to die. Brushing my hair out of my face I stood up. I knew what had to be done. It was the only solution for my happiness and for those around me. The only thing that could make the pain stop. I slowly made my way to my bed side table. I pulled open the drawer and grabbed the bottle of medication. Shaking I unscrewed the cap and poured a hand full out. My heart was pounding like a hammer against cloth cover wall. I opened my mouth and shoved all the pills in. I choked as I swallow them all dry, tilting my head back and forcing them to all go down my throat. I glanced around waiting why wasn't I dead yet? I sat down on my bed and pulled out my blade from its hiding place under the mattress. I pulled it to my right wrist and swiped it once on; a straight slice across. I hissed in pain as the blood dotted to the top. "Hospital." I murmured. That isn't what I needed I didn't need to be woken up in a bright room with white walls and white bed sheets. Not like last time, I swiped the razor down my wrist going up towards my elbow. "Morgue." I muttered as my world began to haze. I pulled up my other wrist and mimicked both of the previous cuts. Blood was pooling from both wrists. Had I hit a vein, or were the pills taking there effect? I stood up quickly and dropped to the ground, the pills spilling out and the bloody razor spiraled down to the hard wooden floor. My vision was beginning to haze over and everything was going fuzzy. My life literally began flashing before my eyes. I remembered when I was younger and my older brother Joe, my parents, and I all went to the beach and Joe pushed me in the water and I nearly drowned. I remembered Joe and me building castles in the sand at our park. I could see the day Patricia and I had met. Me being ten and her just turning eleven, I had just arrived to Anubis. The memory of having my first kiss with Jake Bedyingfeild and my last kiss with Jerome Clarke. Visions of the last few months danced around in my head and I closed my eyes inn pain. Was dying supposed to be hurting this much? I thought I was trying escaping all of the pain. I let out a whimpered and tried to get up. My limbs were numb and I couldn't move. I let out a last gasp of pain before my vision went all dark. How did things get this way?
3 Months earlier
"Mercer, come over here!" I turned and saw Nicola Lawrence along with her clique of Jessamy Bradley, Iris Watts, and Rosie List. I turned the other way and tried to quicken my pace, come on Joy you just have to make it down the hall to History. A hand gripped my shoulder and halted me to a stop. "Mercer, if I tell you to do something you do it!" Nicola spat. Jessamy looked me up and down. "Mercer you're looking uglier than usual." Rosie nodded and smirked. "Have you gained weight or something?" Iris snickered and grabbed Rosie's shoulder. "That's probably why Rutter chose Martin over her." I looked down at my feet. They had been right I had gained three pounds but I didn't think it to be noticeable. Obviously I was mistaken. I shrugged Nicola's hand off of me and turned the other way. "Whoa slut we're we done talking to you?" Nicola yelled. I turned around and shook my head no and avoided her stare. "Hey look at Nicola when she talks, don't be a bitch." Iris snapped. "She is worse than a bitch." Jessamy commented shoving me into the lockers. Nicola laughed "Joy you are a Lonely fat worthless pathetic bitch." my stomach dropped and my eyes began to water. "Aww the babe is going to cry!" Rosie laughed getting up in my face. I pushed her away and bolted down the hallway at full running speed until I got to the toilets. Tear were freely streaming down my face. Nicola and her clique had been doing this to me since the start of this term, and no one did a thing about it. I dropped down into a crouching position and let the tears fall. Their words ran through my head going through one ear and not reaching the other but staying permanently in my brain, echoing. I stood up grasping my head. Why wouldn't their voices go away? I hit the wall and let out a desperate groan.
The bell signaling the end of school had just rung threw out the building and I was racing down the hallway. I had made Nicola and her clique mad and there was no way I was seeing what the aftermath was. "Who you running from Mercer?" I heard Rosie call out. I quickened my speed and pushed my way out the door. "Better run faster Mercer." Joanie Smith yelled from the front steps as I ran down them. "She better." Nicola laughed I glanced behind me to see Jessamy and Iris right on my tail. I stopped pacing and hauled butt all the way to Anubis not stopping or looking back. I ran up the steps burst through the house door and slammed the door shut. I threw my stuff down and hunched over trying to catch my breath. "Joyful you okay there?" Jerome asked. I looked up and nodded. My phone beeped and I quickly pulled it out of my purse. I swiped the screen and typed in my password 1-9-7-5. A text message popped up it was from Iris. "Hey bitch better watch your back." I quickly turned my phone off and threw it down at my purse. "What happened?" I looked up relishing Jerome was still in the room. "Nothing. I think I'm just going to head upstairs." Jerome nodded and watched me as I walked up the steps. For the rest of the week Nicola and her group had actually ignored me. I didn't know why but I didn't feel as I should question it. Who would question it? I soon found out why they had the sudden urge to ignore me.
I walked into school later then my usual on Wednesday morning looking like a mess. I'd only found the time to brush my hair and put on some concealer and mascara. I rushed to my locker and pulled it open only to find a note. It fluttered to the ground and landed as silent as a feather. I put all of my stuff into my locker and bent down to get it. I unfolded the small piece of yellow paper. Written in a line of thick sharpie was the word Fat. A big hand came from behind me and grabbed the paper. "Let me guess? Nicola and her groupies?" I turned around only to meet the bright green eyes of Marcus Baiter. I nodded "Probably." Marcus shook his head. "Why don't you do anything about them?" He asked I was barely able to pay attention to understand what he was saying. I mean Marcus Baiter was talking to me! He was honestly the cutest guy in school. He stood muscular at Six foot four, with piercing green eyes and soft blonde hair. "Ew why are you talking to her Marcus?" Nicola's voice bellowed from behind me. I turned quickly and moved more towards Marcus. "Nicola go away. Joy doesn't deserve your crap. Go you're not wanted." Marcus rolled his eyes and motioned the girl and her clique down the hall. "I can't believe you'd stand up for that." Rosie said with disgust lingering from her mouth. All the girls scurried off down the hallway quickly. "Joy don't listen to them they are just snobs with way to big egos. Joy I was wondering would you like to go out on Friday?" I smiled big and nodded. Marcus pulled me into a hug. "Good now just give me your number and I can text you the details." I nodded and pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote down the digits. "Okay Joy I will see you later." I nodded to excite to speak. I know it was early to assume anything but with Marcus my life would probably be better!