Disclaimer: I write fanfiction for fun, not for profit. Also, Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" isn't mining either, or else my name would be Avril. It's not.

"Girlfriend"

Rachel McKenzie walked out of Gallagher Elementary with a smile on her face, only to have it disappear when she saw Lizzie Devine all over Nigel Uno. Her Nigel Uno…. Okay, maybe not hers, but close enough.

Chorus
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

They had been steadily getting closer since the TAG incident, and Rachel had known what that might lead to. She had admittedly had a crush on him ever since he had helped her realize her true place as Supreme Commander of the Kids Next Door. The only problem was admitting it to him. And getting rid of his girlfriend, Lizzie Devine, the girl she was so envious of.

Verse 1
You're so fine
I want you mine
You're so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You're so addictive
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious
And H Yeah
I'm the mother princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

She knew that he was getting annoyed when she saw him attempt to squirm out of Lizzie's grasp. Her vice-like grip was unfailing, though, and he resigned himself to being tolerant. I would never hang onto him like that, unless physically unable to hold myself up, and maybe not even then.

Bridge
She's like so whatever
you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
and that's what everyone's talking about!

The problem with Lizzie wasn't only that she was annoying. She also held on too tightly. She didn't give Nigel room to breath, and was a very high maintenance kind of girl. It was practically a requirement that they go out on a date at least once a week, and she insisted on calling Nigel "Nigey", even though she probably knew he hated it. On top of that, she had neither respect, nor care for the KND, something that was a huge part of Nigel's life. Rachel knew he would be one of the few to be going on to the Teens Next Door, an undercover group of teens that still fought adult tyranny. Last that she knew to go was Maurice. In fact, it was rumored that all of Sector V would go to the TND. Those rumors were much like the ones that she and Nigel had heard about their so-called secret "relationship".

Chorus
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

Rachel clenched her hands in anger when she heard a whiny voice interrupt her thoughts. She had given Nigel an assignment earlier in the week to do some recon, but, apparently, Lizzie had already decided they were going to the movies. Without consulting her boyfriend. Not that she cared. She saw Nigel sigh and say something, and his second in command, Abigail Lincoln, shake her head sadly. She knew that Nigel had said something to placate his girlfriend, and with that, Lizzie began to jump up and down.

Verse 2
I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again!)

A few seconds later, Nigel turned around, presumably in response to something Abby had told him. When they locked eyes, Nigel smiled and walked over.

"Hello Rachel. How are you?" Nigel asked, not noticing that Lizzie had stopped happy dancing and looked over; however, Rachel did. A smirk curled around her lips as she looked back at Nigel: Lizzie was jealous.

"I'm good. I don't think you are, though. Lizzie being overbearing?" Nigel sighed again, not needing to answer, because he knew that Rachel knew already.

"Look, Nigel, I don't like Lizzie. At all. And I know you don't either. You can do so much better than her, so why don't you? Think about it." Rachel walked away, going to unlock her bike so she could go home.

Bridge
She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!

Chorus
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There's no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
She's so stupid
What the H were you thinking?!
Repeat

Nigel ran after Rachel, and when he reached her, he spun her around and kissed her full on the lips. In front of everyone. Including Lizzie. A few seconds after they broke apart, a shrill call of, "NIGEL UNO!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" could be heard throughout the entire campus.

Nigel just turned around, shouted, "KISSING MY NEW GIRLFRIEND. ONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES ME AND WHAT I LOVE!" When that was done, he resumed kissing a shocked blonde, who couldn't be happier.

Chorus (repeat)

During all this, Numbuhs Two, Three, Four, Five, and Eighty-Six could be seen collecting bet money. They knew this would happen, and were taking advantage as they knew best!

A/N: So what do you think. This is my first KND song fic, but when I heard this song, I immediately thought of Nigel and Rachel. The rest came easily. This is a one-shot, though it can be lengthened if requested. Maybe I can add another chapter of a longer Lizzie/Nigel fight. But remember, to get that, you have to review and request!!!