Hey guys! I haven't written a story in such a long time, specifically a Stanman/Cartan one, so that's what this is. If you don't like Stan and Cartman together, get the fudge out.
But! If you do stick around and read my probably terrible fanfiction. xP There's not nearly enough Stanman fics out there, and I'm gonna try to fix that. Review if you think I should do more. This is Uke!Stan and Seme!Cartman….like I think they should be.
ENJOY MY ONE SHOT!
Oh and don't review saying "OMG Stan/Cartman is soooo out of character!" because you know what I'm gonna say? I don't give a fuck. It's a FANfiction for a reason people. I'm not freaking Matt Stone or Trey Parker. And neither are you.
It's been five years. Five long, miserable years of nothing but hopeless thinking. Why do I feel this way? I'm Eric fucking Cartman, goddammit. I'm not supposed to have these feelings for this long. Especially for someone that I thought I would never even get close to.
But I did. Ever since we were kids, I treated him...different from everyone else. I never wanted to hurt him. And when I did, I regretted it immediately. If it were Kyle or Kenny, especially Kyle, I wouldn't care less.
Stan on the other hand….
I don't know how it started or how to explain it, but somehow I got weird feelings for him. At first I just wanted him to my best friend and only mine. Not Kyle's. And then it grew into a crush. Now I'm pretty sure it's more than just a gay little school girl crush.
I had fallen in love with him.
God I can't even say it outloud to myself let alone to him. What in the hell would he even say if I told him how I felt? I would say he would resent me completely, but Stan has always at least tolerated me. But I doubt he even shares the same feelings I have for him.
Everyone always wonders why I hate Wendy and Kyle so much. It's not because Wendy is a dumb girl and Kyle is a stupid Jew. It's because I've watched them when they are with Stan. Wendy sees Stan as the second choice if her relationships don't work out and only dates him to get something out of him. She's been that way ever since Elementary School.
Kyle on the other hand, he doesn't care about what Stan gets himself into like he should. And he doesn't care about Stan when he goes through a hard break up. He should be right there to comfort him, but no. He just tells him to be a man and to grow the fuck up. Yeah, like that helps. The fucking asshole just abandons him when he needs Kyle the most.
You know who's there for every break up?
Me.
You know who's there when he hits rock bottom in chronic depression and keeps him from drinking?
Me.
You know who went to every baseball and football game when Stan was into sports?...You guessed it.
ME.
Hell even the poor sap Kenny is there more often than the trustworthy girlfriend and loyal best friend. The sad but good thing is, Stan finally noticed this pattern.
He got out of sports completely and finally dumped Wendy. When he lost interest in sports, I was upset, mainly because he loved it, and I loved watching him. Wendy on the other hand. I couldn't be any happier.
Ever since he dumped the bitch, Stan and I got a lot closer and started late night conversations. He's still friends with Kyle, but I can gladly say that I think I'm getting Stan to finally trust me more than him. Do I feel bad? HA! Fuck no!
I sighed as I lied back in my computer chair. I looked up at a picture Stan took of the two of us a couple years back and I stared at his smile. He had his face up against mine and gave his best smile with an arm slung across my shoulders. He's always had a great smile. His smile makes me smile in return. He also has piercing blue eyes. I've never seen such bright blue eyes on anyone but him. He has the shiniest, silkiest black hair and his fair white skin is soft to the touch. He's slender built and naturally tiny, which is what makes him even cuter.
Seriously he's tiny. He's only 5'3 and weighs 120 lbs. Ever since I started working in a place that requires heavy lifting, I'm able to bench four of him.
*DING*
I raised an eyebrow and looked at my computer screen, seeing Stan's name in bold letters.
I opened up his message box.
Stan: Hey dude.
I smiled and typed out a quick message back.
Eric: hey. Is everything okay?
Stan: Yeah of course! Why would something be wrong?
Eric: idk you're pretty unpredictable. haha
Stan: yeah yeah whatever ;P
Stan: Anyways, do you wanna hang out?
I got a little bit of excitement. I always get excited when he offers to hang out with me. But that's if if it's just the two of us.
Eric: Okay. Anyone else or just us?
Stan: Just us. Kenny has to work and Kyle...idk what he's doing but he's busy.
Eric: Okay sure. Of course Kyle is busy. Lol
Stan: Yeah...he's busy a lot these days.
I gave a crooked smile. It's kinda sad that Kyle doesn't hang out with Stan, but the plus side is, I get him all to myself.
I stared at my fingers on the keys, and began thinking deeply. Should I tell him?
What would he say?
Stan: Cartman? You still there?
I looked back up at the screen. I want to tell him so bad that he's not alone. He'll never be alone.
I'll never let him be in this world alone.
Eric: Yeah I'm still here.
Eric: Can I ask you a serious question though?
Stan: Yeah. Shoot.
Stan: You can tell me anything.
I just sat there. I don't know what to say. But I need to talk to him. He doesn't need to know my feelings are for him, but I need some kind of vent.
Eric: If another boy told you how he felt, what would you say and how would you react?
I just sat and waited for Stan's response. I didn't want to seem too obvious since I don't even know how he feels about me or other boys. His sexuality has always been confusing. No one can really tell if he's straight or gay. Bi, maybe.
Stan Marsh: Message read….
I don't know why but as soon as I saw he had read it, I got a small anxiety attack. I'm not one to get nervous so I was definitely uncomfortable.
Stan Marsh: Honestly, it depends on who it is. I wouldn't overreact or anything, but idk. I need to have some feelings towards that person for me to accept them.
Stan Marsh: Why?
I read his message very carefully. At least I know he wouldn't overreact. Right when I started to type my next message, Stan had messaged me again.
Stan Marsh: Umm...can I come over to your house to talk about this? I kinda need to tell you something anyways.
Stan Marsh: I need to get it off my chest.
I raised an eyebrow. Stan needs to tell me something? What could he possibly need to get off his chest?
I felt a mixture of emotions. Mostly anxiety, but I felt scared too.
Eric Cartman: Yeah, dude. You can come over. Do you want me to pick you up?
Stan Marsh: Naw. I can walk. I need fresh air anyways.
Stan Marsh: I'll be there in a minute.
Eric Cartman: Okay.
I had been sitting on my floor for at least five minutes, and at this point I was freaking out. What would he say if I told him how I feel? I know that everyone else thinks telling Stan Marsh how you feel isn't that big a deal, but for some reason, it's intimidating. Not because he himself is intimidating, but because that kid is super emotional and unpredictable as fuck.
I finally heard a soft little knock at my door. I knew it was Stan at the door.
"Come in." Stan came in and softly shut the door looking at me. He looked more nervous and scared than I was.
He came to sit down across from me on the floor and crossed his legs, hands folded in his lap.
"So…" he started awkwardly. He was looking down at his foot, picking at the bottom of his converse. I just stared at him. He looked really read in the face. His black ADTR shirt doesn't exactly help hide it either.
"What?" I said bluntly. I know I'm nervous, but I can still be blunt about certain things. He moved his hands to pick at the warn little strings that were on the holes in the knees of his jeans. I rested my cheek in my hand and continued to stare.
"If another boy told me how he felt, I honestly don't know how I'd react" he finally said randomly. I raised my eyebrows at him. Before I can reply he kept going.
"I don't fall in love or have crushes on just anybody. I've only been in one relationship and that was with Wendy, so I don't even know if I'd do good in a same sex relationship. When I fall for someone I take our relationship very seriously. So, like I said, it depends on who it is." he finished. I gawked at him.
"You walked five minutes to my house to tell me that?" I asked. Stan kept his eyes averted from me.
"No." He said blatantly. I was confused now. But his face was so goddamn red he looked like a fucking tomato. I had the feeling what he wanted to tell me definitely had something to do with me.
"I um….know...why you asked me what you asked me." I felt all the blood rush to my face and felt cold. Oh Jesus…
"O-oh." Goddamn it, Cartman! Is that all you can say is 'oh'?
"C-Cartman? I uh, know that you like me. I just um...I need to-"
"No." I said quickly. Stan looked up at me with big eyes. God this is embarrassing. But I need to tell him.
"Stan, I liked you for a very long time. I thought that it was just temporary, that it'll go away eventually. But it didn't. I tried to date other people, but my feelings never left. I always felt protective of you, ever since we were kids. When you, Kyle, and Kenny turned total hippie on me, I uh, you know, asked you if you ate their stupid special brownies. When you guys finally got out of the water park after the PH balance incident at Pee Pee's water park, I hugged you since I saw that you were okay. And when Jimmy got you addicted to freemium games, I was livid and I shook him and yelled at him." God I sound like a total fag. I'm not used to this, but I looked in Stan's eyes, and I noticed he was in a state of shock, probably since I'm pouring my emotions out.
"Anyways, I just, I wanted you to know that I really really like you. And if you don't like me back, then tell me now." I said, looking back down at the floor picking at my carpet. I couldn't look at Stan again. Not with that bewildered look on his face. I heard him take a deep breath.
"Actually Cartman, it's the contrary." I immediately snapped my head up, shocked. What? Does that mean that-
"I like you. I've had a crush on you ever since Wendy and I broke up." I felt a ton of emotions well up in me. More anxiety, timidness, excitement, happiness, nervousness; pretty much all of it.
He finally cracked a small little smile, cheeks still tinted red. I was sure I was blushing wildly at this moment too. I finally worked the courage to scoot a little towards the smaller boy in front of me. When our knees were almost touching, I looked back up at him, and took him into my embrace, hugging around his middle. He was shy at first, but eventually wrapped his arms around me with his arms resting on my shoulders. We stayed like this for a minute before I pulled away to look at him again. Now's the time to finally ask him what I've only been daydreaming about for years.
"Well, since we have faggy little crushes on each other, will you go out with me?" Stan chuckled a little at the way I had just asked him out, but he leaned in, and to my surprise, kissed me on the cheek.
"Yes." He said, with that smile I love so much. He hugged me again, and I hugged him back.
Yes. He said yes. This is definitely the best day of my life.
On the outside, I seemed cool about it, but on the inside, I was squealing like a gay little school girl.
We're finally together, and I will never let him be in this world alone.
And I hope you know this, Stan.
xXx
I hope you enjoyed!
xoxo
[:everlasting-luv:]