Chapter 1: Heroes holding on

Common thread through each chapter: The serendipity in Olicity (randomness of fate)

A Summary: The night Oliver left to duel one of the most dangerous men alive, Felicity had cried herself to sleep. She wished she told me him how she felt before he had left. The next morning she woke with a steely determination; as soon as he got back she would tell him how she felt. Maybe it changes nothing, maybe it changes everything. She realised that her own words to Oliver on the day after Sara died would mean nothing; she wanted to live her life, she wasn't going to wait with him until his death or even hers, that was still true. Even so she wanted to tell him, the hope that it could change everything had a snuck into her heart; why else would he tell her how he felt with so much certainty? Maybe it meant he had hope too, that when he got back, they could see where things would go. That's all she could ever hope for; the chance to see what could happen between them.

During that same week, she had devised a plan of action; she was going to take the lead here. She was going to surprise him. The hope inside her heart was bursting out the seams and she has spent the better part of week (three days to be exact) making preparations for his return.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" Dig asked curiously

"Me? Nothing, why?" she asked feeling flustered like she was caught doing something naughty!

"Well…for days now you have spent all your free time shopping and holed up in your apartment. When you're here, besides your concern for him, you seem to be very optimistic, you're planning something. You better out with it"

She wanted the first person to hear the words to be him. But Dig was like her brother, and he was concerned about her.

"I'm going to tell him John"

"That you love him?"

She nodded and said "Yes, I know it may not change anything, but I want him to know. He left that night and he told me in no uncertain terms this time just how he felt…"

"So you've been planning a romantic evening?"

"Well yes if you can call it that minus the explosion part….and restaurant part"

"So where then? Here?"

"NO! My place. It's a surprise John, so no telling!"

"Alright alright!" Diggle laughed

"I will need your help though" she said shyly

"For you, anything" John said happily

"Well, as soon as he calls to say he is on his way, I want you fetch him and bring him straight to my apartment" Felicity said excitedly

"Wow! So you aren't wasting any time!"

"Nope! Time is something we are uncertain of….and if there's one thing I want now more than anything, it's to let him know. We can figure the rest out afterward, you know, if there is a possibility of an us or not"

"I think it's a lovely idea Felicity"

"I really hope he loves it!"

"He loves you! How could he not?!"

Dig and Roy had stepped out to grab dinner that night. Felicity had not stopped worrying about Oliver or his safety. She wanted to believe that no matter what, he was going to do what needed to be done. She silently sent a prayer up to the heavens, for his safe return. She was sitting at her computer, leaning back in her chair and day dreaming about the look on Oliver's face when she told him because all she wanted was for it to be perfect, she knew it would be…and then she had heard the sound of footsteps slowly making its downward decent into the foundry…for a fraction of a second, the hope inside her raised her heart level and she turned in her seat quietly saying "Oliver! I thought you'd call…" and stopped suddenly as the figure stepped off the last step and into a beam of night light, her heart sank to her stomach.

Malcolm Merlyn had found his way into the foundry. Felicity stood suddenly wondering why in the hell he was there. She was alone and all she heard was "Oliver Queen is dead" before her ears started ringing and her eyesight became blurry. Everything in her world stopped and she was frozen in time with a loud sharp ringing piercing her ears. Then just as suddenly as he appeared Malcolm was leaving and she found herself staring at a blood stained sword he left on the med table.

"NO! NO! no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no" is the only thing that came out of her mouth as she collapsed in a heap on the floor. Crying for all that they lost. Her heart constricting, her breathing tight, she was having a panic attack but she couldn't move; her entire body was frozen on the ground. Cold shivers ran up her spine and she tried to stand but she couldn't. She felt the hope in her heart shatter like glass thrown at full force onto a concrete floor and the tears running down her cheeks were doing so at their own accord. That is how Dig and Roy found her. They didn't need to know the exact words, they understood. She couldn't speak for hours and Dig and Roy had taken her home. Both men stayed with her that night. Felicity didn't speak again, unless she was spoken to.

Felicity: The day after

The first time she found herself in this place was the day Amanda Waller had found Oliver for them, the day of his mother's funeral. The day he was willing to give himself up to Slade for the people he loves and to protect the people of the city. The memory of that day was so vivid, so clear:

*****Flashback to 2x21, 22, 23**********

Felicity stood in front of him as she had begged him not to go, she tried to sound supportive and she tried to make him see another way. That day her words almost worked but he didn't give in, he needed more than that. He needed proof; he needed to know he had the upper hand. She knows he understood what she was really saying "Don't go Oliver, please stay here, with me, safe, we'll find another way. I love you" but Felicity could not say that; she could not tell him how she felt, she could show him, she has been, she knows that. Saying those words however, just the thought of what comes next scared her. It's happened before and she'll be damned before letting him know, she can't lose him, no matter how she feels. She'll just have to find another way of telling him for now.

"Felicity, someone once told me, the essence of heroism is to die so that others can live" Oliver said softly staring into her eyes and begging her to understand.

She understood – Oliver would do anything for the people he loves. She also thought she heard in those unspoken words "I can't lose you" as she understood the look on his face.

"There has to be another way" she said remembering holding his hand and not letting go. She remembers the feel of his hand in hers, the way he gently squeezed it when he turned back to her and she saw it all in his eyes. For a moment she saw sadness mixed with regret. She saw him fighting off something inside himself, an internal battle waging. He moved closer to her and she thought he was about to kiss her, the way he looked at then made her heart cry. She saw him fighting the urge. 'Did Oliver Queen want to kiss me?! No! You're reading too much into all this Felicity!' She scolded herself. For Oliver he couldn't lose her, no matter what he felt for her.

And she understood what it meant for him. That at his core he is a good man. That he is willing to give up his own happiness and life for everyone else to stay happy and alive. She realised the same in herself. She would rather die than have anything happen to him. He had been through enough and she would not let him give himself up, he had to fight back. If it meant taking matters into her own hands, she would do just that. She and Dig never gave up on him, they shot him with a tranquilizer dart and when he woke back in the foundry, Laurel was there. Laurel gave him proof; that Sebastian Blood was working with Slade Wilson and that got things back to the way they were supposed to be. Later in the watch tower when Oliver had lost his belief in himself, Felicity didn't stop believing.

"You are not done fighting!" She said and then Felicity knew exactly how to tell him that she loves him "…but I do know two things…I believe in you. You are not alone" and then she hugged him wanting so desperately for him to feel her love and belief in him. Then she felt his hand on her back, gripping tightly, the warmth of his skin penetrating straight through his gloves and her clothes. After their embrace she could still feel his hand on her back, like it was branded to her skin.

And later in the QC building where Slade and Isabel were using it as their headquarters, Slade had gotten away and Isabel was killed. Oliver had yet again felt himself become unhinged. No matter what he did, he just couldn't get to Slade to stop the madness. They had cured some of his army, but there was still a lot more to go. Oliver felt himself panic for a minute and then Felicity had been there making him see another way.

'…I can't even out think him" Oliver said agitated

"Then don't, make him out think you!" Felicity said

Which led them to the mansion when she truthfully believed him when he said "I Love You". After Oliver had pressed the syringe in her hand he asked her "Do you understand?", she knew exactly what he was asking and she realised that it was her own hopes that had made his confession sound real, but no matter the realisation that it was all a lie, she still believed in him and their work - saving the city came first. So she pushed down her feelings. Once Oliver had left her in the mansion to await Slade, she threw her left hand; the one Oliver had put the syringe into, around her back. The feeling of his hand gripping at her back still very much present. It was that exact feeling that she drew her strength from as she waited for Slade or his men to come for her.

********End Flashbacks*********

The thing with Oliver and her is all the things unsaid. It's all the touches and glances and direct eye contact. They support each other without words even. Felicity had thought about what he said in the secondary facility, that maybe it was also about her. Oliver was never good at talking about his feelings back then. Neither was she actually. The two of them had a connection that was not easily explained. She could read him like a book. She understood him, believed him, felt his presence even when he wasn't close by.

So when Malcolm had told her and the others what had happened to him, she could not believe it. She refused to believe it. It was something inside her, a feeling she couldn't explain to others; Oliver was still alive. After Malcolm left, Felicity had cried into Dig and Roy's shoulders respectively. They had held her for a while and then taken her home later that night. She spent the next day just sitting on her couch, unable to move, unable to cry, unable to stop the images haunting her brain. If he was dead, why did she still feel him so strongly? Surrounded by all the things she had bought for their romantic night, she couldn't take it anymore; she got in her car and drove for hours.

She found herself at the secondary facility of Oliver's and while the memories didn't stop or lessen even, being there made her feel better. The nagging feeling in her heart was at ease in a way. She sat on the floor that first night there, back against the pillar much like Oliver that day when she and Dig had found him. Burying her head in her knees she cried it out, silently sobbing for every memory they shared and for every memory they have been robbed of. With every passing day and week it became a ritual for her, she had taken his cot there and slept there at night, she would head home in the morning before the sun came up, then to the main foundry at Verdant, then to work and then back to Verdant, then home to shower and change and then she would go back to Oliver…to the basement where she felt closest to him, only heading home the next morning to change for the day. These were her days and nights now. Just knowing he would go there from time to time helped keep her from falling apart entirely. She was looking for any way to stay close to him. In her mind all their moments they ever shared playing on a loop in her head, like some kind of YouTube dedication video on repeat.

Laurel didn't know the truth behind Oliver and his duel with Ras' Al Ghul, they only told her that he offered himself up to protect the city. Felicity had bitterly said that it was because she couldn't find the real killer within the time frame The League had set. Laurel had spun out of control for the first week. Her anger consumed her and she found herself taking on the thugs of the Glades. She had got beaten up pretty bad and landed in hospital a few times. Ted has been good for her though, he was and has been there for her in a way she really needed. He helped her channel her anger and kept her from seeing red.

"I don't know where to from here…..but this is what Oliver was working towards…I feel like we shouldn't give up now…" Dig had said to her in that first week that Oliver was gone. "There is no this without him…It's done" Felicity said walking out of the place that had become her home. She didn't want to continue on without him. What was the point anyway she had argued with Dig and Roy when they tracked her phone and found her sitting on a park bench watching kids play in the playpark and watching their moms and dads all enjoying their day out…oblivious to the fact that their protector may be gone forever.

"To honour Oliver, Felicity….To keep the city safe from those trying to destroy it…for the next generation…for Sara…" he nodded towards the playpark with all the kids. Felicity found herself crying in public and she didn't care…it had been a week, even though the feeling that he wasn't dead was still very much there, they hadn't heard anything, no matter who she talked to or the searches she had done, she could find no traces of Oliver Queen. But Dig was right…they should continue for him…and in the meantime she won't give up looking. Last time he disappeared, it took her months to find him. She will not give up the search or believe Malcolm Merlyn. Oliver Queen was NOT dead.

Four weeks later and they all are dealing with the loss in their own way, but they decided one thing, to keep the team together and to carry on the fight, in honour of Oliver and all that he sacrificed and to continue protecting the city and the people they love that are still alive.

Talking about it, about him, was something she couldn't do. Felicity the rambler was gone, she died the same day he did. She has been unable to find anything, no leads, nothing. It's been four weeks to the day now and as she sits at her workstation in the foundry surrounded by Dig, Roy and tonight Laurel, they talk about him and remember him and all she does is retreat inside of her mind.

"Felicity, are you ok?" Laurel asked

"Uhmm…yeah, I'm fine." Felicity responded not looking away from her computers in the fear of missing something that could be a lead.

"You're not fine Felicity, You know you can talk to us" Dig said concern all over his face and voice

"Dig, I know. I'm fine. Really" her bitter mood was starting to escalate and she could feel herself becoming unhinged

"Felicity…please, you haven't spoken since…" Roy pleaded

"The day he died…I know…What's there to say Roy? How much I miss him? How I wish I begged him to stay? How I wish I did something more, like that day he tried to offer himself to Slade?!" he voice growing higher in agitation "I did nothing Roy! I didn't ask him stay, I didn't tell him how I felt, I didn't stop him and now his…and no amount of talking about him will bring him back to us!" Roy turned her chair and pulled her into a hug

Laurel was standing behind the bank of computers "None of us could have stopped him Felicity" Laurel said "I wish we did too, I wish he knew how we all felt about him, I wish I had gotten to say goodbye… you're not the only one who loved him"

She turned a little In shock at hearing Laurel's words "I know….I'm sorry Laurel…I didn't mean to make it sound like that….but Oliver and I….before he left he told me he was certain of two things in his life…one was that he would do anything to protect his family and the people he loves."

"And the other" Laurel asked

"That he loves me" she said her voice crackling and tears streaming "Loved...That's my luck though" she tried to laugh it off but it fell flat "I know how he felt but he went to his death not knowing how I felt…it is eating me alive on the inside."

Felicity got up and ran out the foundry and drove straight to her safe place. She couldn't talk anymore. Talking didn't help. Talking won't bring him back. Talking won't take away the regret. Talking won't change anything.

When she entered the door, something inside her had sparked. Her heart raced and she didn't understand if it was because of the conversation she had with Laurel and the team or if something was off here. It was a like a sixth sense for her. She carefully descended down the stairs stopping right at the point when there was no more wall and a banister started. She knelt down so make sure no one was here. She had kept a baseball bat strapped to the wall of the stairs, hidden out of sight in the shadows. She may not be a good fighter, not in the least bit, but this was her home away from home. She would protect it with all she had.

There was a figure standing over Oliver's bed…her bed now. She noticed the man's outline immediately. He took a step to the side and suddenly she froze.

"Oliver?" she said quietly. After all this time, if she didn't know his outline or his stance by now, especially in the dark, then she wasn't paying any attention to the man she loves.

The man turned slowly, not wanting to believe it was the one person didn't expect to see. Not because he dreaded seeing her, but now was not the right time. The reality is if it was her….it means she has made this basement a home. He did not expect to live through his literal death, he did not expect to make his way home, but once he had done both, he decided to wait it out for a bit longer. Fearing their safety, it was not the right time to make himself known.

When their eyes met, every ounce of will power to stay away from her, from the team until they were safe had melted like snow on a sunny day. She rushed down the remaining steps and slowly walked towards him. He moved forward as well. Meeting halfway under the dim lights of the lamps she had brought with, they stood staring at each other. Their eyes fixed. Neither of them moving any closer to each other. 'What if this is just dream? What if I'm going mad?' These thoughts invaded both of their minds, 'Is this real? Can this be real?' and as if the longing inside had a mind of its own, their hands reached out. Fingers grazing fingers, then hands grasping hands. Then two bodies were holding each other, tighter than they thought possible. Fearing letting go.

"It's really you?" she cried into his shoulder

"Yes…I told you I would come back. When have I ever been able to lie to you" he said softly stroking her hair and breathing in her scent.

"But…but Malcolm, he said he saw you…he brought us the sword…How did you survive?"
Felicity asked pulling away slightly to look into his eyes and give me a quick once-over making sure he was okay, but not pulling out of the embrace entirely.

"He actually saved me….But Malcolm is Malcolm...he never does anything..."

"Unless it serves his own agenda…" she said finishing his sentence. Her hand reached up and she ran her fingers over the beard that has grown. He looks weak and run down.

His eyes were fixed on her as she trailed her fingers over his face, through his hair, so slowly as if she was memorising it through touch.

"Hey" He said bring one hand to cup her cheek "I'm okay"

She brushed her tears away dipping her head and breaking the embrace. She walked around him to regain control of her emotions.

With her back to him she said "…I had this feeling inside me you know? I just couldn't believe that you were de…" she swallowed hard

Oliver came up behind her "Felicity…I'm so sorry"

She turned suddenly, the agitation from the last few weeks turning to a burst of anger as tears filling her eyes "Sorry? For what? For not killing Ras'? For dying? For not letting me know, sooner, that you were in fact NOT dead? For telling me how sure you were of your love for me and then leaving me behind? Four weeks Oliver! It's been four weeks to this day! So what are you sorry for?!"

He stood quietly watching the tears fall down her cheeks, the pain in her eyes, the anger she has been suppressing, the hurt, and he saw the love.

"Yes to all your questions…I am so sorry Felicity, leaving you was the hardest thing I had to do. But I had to do it. I had to try. And it's not over yet…this crusade isn't over…"

And she scoffed at him feeling selfishness take over, turning her back to him and walking to the other side of the basement.

"I thought you understood that?!" he said, his anger at everything they had, everything they lost coming to surface. "I thought you understood me"

"I do Oliver….I did understand, how you would try to protect those you love with every inch of your being but….." she trailed off

"But..." Oliver asked with confusion

"….But what about us?! All I ever wanted was you! I was actually planning a dinner at my place…after you told me you love me the night you left, I decided that no matter the outcome, I would tell you as soon as you got back. I planned everything in the first three days you were gone. My hopes that it could change everything were so high I literally crashed the next day; the day Malcolm came and told me and left the sword behind. I couldn't believe it, all I kept thinking was that my heart would know and then my next thought was that "what if? What if I will never get to say it back, what if? You are really gone and my heart is wrong? And then I realised that you may have died never knowing how I felt." She said with tears falling down her cheeks.

"Felicity….I…" he was shaking his head slowly tears building in his own eyes.

"You're still not willing to try, not like you try to fight for those you love" she laughed at herself for being so stupid, so hopeful. "It doesn't change anything…"

"Felicity, I love you, you know that!"

Felicity felt the truth hitting her hard "Yes Oliver….but maybe you don't love me the way I do you...and when I think of everything we could have, when I think of everything you did have with other women, all I keep thinking is"

"My love for you is different…I can't lose you, if something happens to you because of me… I'm afraid….I have never been this in love with anyone else before…don't you see that?" Oliver said cutting her off, willing to make her understand

"I don't want to be a women you love" she choked out through a wave of new tears as her heart felt like it was constricting inside her chest "I wanted a chance with you, a real chance Oliver! You love me so much that you're not willing to fight for us. I don't want to be this loved by you, I just want us to have a chance" she cried into her hands and he rushed to her scooping her up holding her in his arms as she tried to fight him off. She felt herself calm slightly, his touch always had this effect on her. Breathing in deeply she collected herself and her emotions and blew out a steady breath and contined

"So far, this year has been an emotional rollercoaster Oliver…We lost Sara, up until a couple of hours ago, I thought I lost you too…Do you know how that feels? Do you know what it's like to lose…you…the way I lost you? No Oliver, you don't, you have no idea what I've been through" she motions around the room "I live here now! Anything to be closer to you…the loss and regret I felt consumed me. Just before I arrived here I was at the foundry, Dig, Roy and Laurel, this has been hard for them too. I last spoke the day you 'died' Oliver! Our lives haven't moved on, we're at a standstill. And here you are. Alive and well mostly…and you still deny yourself a life outside of all this?!"

"…because this life is dangerous, I can't see a life as Oliver Queen as long as I am The Arrow"

"…because of the life we lead..."

He looked in her eyes and then kissed her. He kissed her and she tried to fight him off…

"Don't Oliver!" She screamed and pushed him away.

Frustrated he walked away…

"I'm really happy that you're alive. I know with everything I just said you may not believe that" Felicity said laughed wiping her tears and trying her best to stand tall in the midst of the pain. "but we can't keep doing this, I can't deal with 'maybe's' and then kisses that fill my soul with a love I have never felt before. I have loved two other men before you; my father and Cooper. I loved them and they left me. And you love me and then left….and then you died and I swear I died with you on that mountain! Oliver I need more. You're not willing to give me that. I have to pick up the pieces, I have done it before. If you hadn't come back, I don't think I would have ever recovered and now here you stand in front of me, and a near death experience didn't change anything for you. You love me and that's all it is. Nothing more right? We can be friends moving forward, but no more kisses, no more I Love You's, I realise now, I was a fool, they are just words and things will never change"

Oliver stood silent, tears filling his eyes as he felt her pain radiate off her. This was not the time.

"Felicity….I'm sorry but I don't believe in never" Oliver said as she turned to leave "I'm sorry too Oliver, but I'm just being realistic" She responded.

Felicity took a deep breathe walking to the stairs, she was about to leave but needed to know, turning slowly she asked "Oliver…you came here not expecting to see me right?"

"…It wasn't the right time yet" He confessed

"So you would have hid down here? Let us continue thinking you died?" she said tilting her head eyes begging him for the truth

"Yes for now…I needed to make sure that I wasn't hunted and that you all were safe" Oliver said as she nodded in understanding and Oliver walked towards her with one purpose; taking her hands in his he pleaded "Please stay…stay with me, just tonight. I need you in my life…I need you here" he said softly, the heartache and sadness in his eyes made her heart clench with pain for everything he went through. He was the one who had 'died' after all. He was hurting as much as they all were. Her emotions had taken over and she was ashamed. She didn't mean to be so cold and unforgiving. She loves him, regardless.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to snap or to even bring up the things I did right now" she said as her demeanour changed, the realisation that she lost it for a minute there hit her "I mean you just got home and I went all 'crazy wife' on you" to which she shut her eyes and pursed her lips thinking of a way to retract that "I mean…well you know what I mean!" Felicity said with a sigh because her brain had forsaken her and Oliver chuckled.

"It's ok Felicity, it needed to be said. I promise you I won't say anything more. To be fair, i'm sure we come across as a married couple to people who don't know us" he said smiling

Felicity tried her best ignore that comment and led him hand in hand to the cot and made him lie down. "Rest, you need to rest, when last did you eat?" she asked walking over to her bag to grab the energy bar and a bottle of water.

"Stay here" he motioned to the bed as she handed him the water and energy bar "I know you're mad at me, but will you…?"

She watched him scoot over, arm extended. She was too tired to resist. Felicity laid down next to the man she loves, for one night, they would just hold on to half of their dreams "Oliver…I'm not mad at you, I'm really glad that you're not dead" she said yawning and Oliver said "Me too Felicity" and fell asleep with Felicity in his arms on his first night back home. Regardless of what had happened between them, he was certain this was exactly where he belonged. She was home. She was life. She was happiness. Tonight she was his Felicity. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. "Oh God I want this so much…please can I have this, her, a life outside of my obligations" Oliver said internally sending the prayer out to whichever God will listen and help.

The next morning Oliver was the first to wake. Felicity had turned to face him and he never let her go all night.

Felicity opened her eyes staring straight into Oliver's blue eyes and smiled. "Hey" he said softly as he nuzzled closer to her ear closing his eyes and pulling her closer to his body. "It wasn't a dream" She said sighing in content and closed her eyes again shifting her head slightly at an angle to face him properly when they both felt the soft lips of the other. They moved slightly back realisation hitting them both, but neither wanted to leave or for the moment to end, so they stayed. Oliver and Felicity just stared in to each other's eyes, no talking was needed. Oliver raised one hand from around her waist to push her hair out of her face, softly and gently and leaned in and to kiss her forehead softly, then rested his forehead against hers "Thank you" he said and Felicity said "I'll always be here for you, regardless" and they smiled at each other, eyes locked on each other's. Suddenly her phone rang breaking the moment.

"Oliver?!" Felicity said slight panic creeping in and he knew what she asking

"Just the team, Laurel too" Oliver said and Felicity let the call go to voicemail. She then decided to send a tet message to them instead.

"Ok, let's get back to my place, you can shower and I will ask them all to meet there."

Felicity turned, got up and headed to the corner of the basement where there was a stack of boxes and bags. She picked up something and walked over to Oliver, and held out a duffle bag to him. "I couldn't bring myself to get rid of your stuff"

"Thank you" he said sincerely

They got back to her place before the sun rose above Starling City. Oliver was in the shower and Felicity started prepping breakfast. She had sent a text to John, Roy and Laurel asking for them to meet in an hour at her place.

Oliver was showered and changed and at the kitchen counter within 15minutes. Felicity had passed him a steaming hot cup of coffee and chocolate chip pancakes. They ate in silence for a while.

She rested her hand on his and they smiled, her way of saying that no matter what was said between them, she was there for him. And he squeezed her hand back in acknowledgement.

**Knocking at the door**

She opened her front door to John and Roy first. Diggle was worried about her, he went to her place the night before but there was no sign of her.

"Thank God you're ok!" John exclaimed and pulled Felicity into a hug "we were so worried about you, you stormed off last night and I came over to check on you but you didn't answ…." He trailed off seeing the figure of a man sitting at the kitchen counter with his back to him. "Oh! Sorry, I didn't realise you had someone over…" he trailed as the man turned around.

Roy stood frozen. John looked bewildered, arms falling beside him.

Looking back at Felicity and then back to Oliver, who walked over to them. Oliver was smiling and extended his hand to greet him but John rushed to his brother enveloping him his big arms. Felicity turned to Roy smiling and found him still frozen in his place.

"Oliver? But how? Malcolm told us…Why did we ever believe him!?" John said looking at Felicity "When did this happen? How did you find him?"

"Really long story!" she laughed.

"Do tell!" John was serious though

"Let's wait for Laurel first?" Felicity said and then there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, are you ok? Laurel asked entering but stopping immediately upon seeing Oliver.

She ran up to him and hugged him. "Ollie! You? You're really alive?!" she asked as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Yes and I owe you all an explanation, No one else can know yet. I was dead" he says and pulls out of Laurel's embrace. He looks over at Felicity while she stands rubbing Roy's back who was still in shock.

"I am alive now, the how is not important, but the who and the why is. Malcolm Merlyn saved me, but I still don't know why. I need to know why. We both had the plan for me to come back, but I wasn't supposed to reveal myself yet." He looks over to Felicity and says "I think the fates had something to with me being alive and coming back the way I did."

John Diggle saw the look they exchanged and softly said "Serendipity" which Oliver had heard and just smiled while looking down at his feet.

Laurel noticed this exchanged and asked "How did you…? Did you come here?" realising this was her first time here and her eyes wandered around Felicity's apartment.

"No…he was at the secondary foundry" Felicity confessed shyly

"The one Waller had tracked you down to on the day of your mother's funeral?" Diggle asked Oliver

Felicity stepped forward and shyly said "Yes and I was…I have been going there since…since we thought he died, its where I've been spending my nights, alone, it was a piece of him I didn't have to share…I'm sorry guys, that sounds terrible now that I said it out loud" she said sadly

Oliver walked over to her and took her hands in his giving them a squeeze letting her know she's not terrible at all.

"This is all my fault, I was hell bent on doing this alone and I've since realised I am not. It was foolish of me to go and fight him on my own. I thought I knew what I was fighting for. I thought it was enough. I put you all through so much, I survived on my own for so long, and now I have you all and the thought of losing any of you to this life because of me, kills me inside. I can't lose any of you. Now that you are all in my life I can't imagine it without any of you, it's why I hold on so tight, why I am so stubborn about letting you help me." Oliver said.

"Stubborn! Understatement of the year!" Dig said and Oliver nodded in agreement. "But that's changing going forward man, whether you like it or not"

"So what now?" Laurel asked "I'll let my dad know, I'm sure he'd be really relieved to know The Arrow is back"

"No! Not now…I'm hiding for now. I will make the secondary foundry my base and keep a watch over you all. I'm still healing and the process is slow. We need to make sure that I wasn't followed back here."

"To my place? Or the secondary liar?" Felicity asked with an eyebrow arched

"To Starling" Oliver said with a grin on his face

I'm on that!" Felicity exclaimed

"Good, for now carry on as usual, you never saw me. If you were sad, be sad. No one can find out, Merlyn can't know you know ok. I think he has something planned and I need to find out what!"

"I'm on that too!" Felicity said and suddenly Roy was hugging her. Really tight.

"Hey! He's the one who came back from the dead Roy!" Felicity said confused but hugging Roy back anyway. "So did you!" Roy said happily and broke their embrace, Felicity just smiled at him and looked over to Oliver who was smiling back at her.

Then Roy went up to Oliver and hugged him "I'm so glad you're not dead! What about Thea?" Roy asked pulling out of the hug.

"I don't want her to know, not yet. She is very much under Malcolm's control." And Roy nodded in agreement adding "Father of the year" with indignation

********************************************************************************************************End of Chapter 1************

A/N: Hi there, So this is my first multi-chapter fic and i hope this story so far has been engaging and that you would come back for the next part :) I must add that this was a super long chapter, the other's may not be. Each chapter to me plays like an episode in my mind, but only with certain characters lol, so it's an Olicity story minus all the other stuff that make Arrow, Arrow! So i really hope you can envision what i am writing based off what we already know of the characters and story. I'm not sure how to classify this, AU? Canon? My take on Canon? - i took spoilers and teasers and my imagination ran wild with "What if" scenarios. "What if" they spoke more about what they feel and then very specific "What if's" to my plot! I've been working on this story since Dec - around 3x08/3x09 - playing with the ideas and based off the spoilers, as i wrote the plot, changed things a few times and then it fit. So prep yourself for Slade Wilson vs Felicity Smoak in the chapters to come. You will notice how i've added show canon to this, there will be more, it's just a different take on what could have happened so slightly AU - i don't know the rules of AU vs canon - I'm sorry! I hope you enjoyed this and will stick around for the next part. Thank you so much!

SideNote: Serendipity - Can be described as a "fortunate happenstance" / "pleasant surprise" / "the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident" / "chance encounteror accident that leads to a happy - sometimes life-changing conclusion" / "the randomness of fate" ~ Google

xoxox

Comaupcakes