Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter, Kraft, Rocky Horror Picture show
or any of the other things that appear in this story. I make no money from
this story. I also send my apologies to whoever makes "Fresca." By the way,
your product really is disgusting.
A/n: The first chapter may be a bit on the silly side, but I assure you, the rest of the story is serious (unless you want silliness in which case, that can be arranged.)
Tick Tock Chapter one: Sorceror's stone?
Hogwarts Castle, the last standing sanctuary to the good was under siege. Every wizard in the world was here Good or evil. Everyone from both sides was on the grounds fighting it out. Everyone except for Harry and Dumbledore.
On the grounds, the good side was crumbling, fast. Harry sat atop the astronomy tower and looked down while he watched his fellow students and teachers die.
"Come Harry. It's time I showed you something." Dumbledore's ever soothing voice said from behind him.
Harry nodded, grabbed his trunk and followed him soundlessly.
Harry sort of zoned out as he was walking behind Dumbledore. He went deep into thought.
He thought of his first where he, Ron and Hermione ran the gauntlet to save the Sorceror's stone. Tears ran down Harry's face. Ron.Hermione. Dead and gone.
He thought of his second year where he saved Ginny from the Basilisk and Tom Riddle. More tears. Ginny was dead too.
Nearly everyone was dead.
Remus, Fred, George, Percy, Bill, Charlie, Colin, Dennis, Lee. Even Ludo Bagman bit the dust.
"Harry?" Dumbledore said "We're here."
Harry looked around. There wasn't anything here. Just empty walls. There weren't even portraits. He looked at Dumbledore, his confusion evident on his face.
Dumbledore got a weird look on his face. Like he was reliving a funny memory that he had forgotten long ago.
"I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming--
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real." Harry winced. Dumbledore was singing 'I feel pretty.' Dumbledore had lost his last marble.
Then the wall opened. That was the password. Makes sense. No self- respecting Death Eater would be caught dead singing that.
Harry followed Dumbledore into the room. The door slid shut behind him.
The room was covered with maps, scrolls, potions, wands and a wizard's staff. Harry looked at the staff. There was a large red stone at the top that Harry could've sworn he'd seen before. Then it hit him, like the slap of a giant (which Harry recalled from memory, hurt a lot) that it was the Sorceror's stone. (A/n I know I bring the stone in to my stories too much, but hey, it is an awesome story generator.)
"Harry? Remember when I said I destroyed the Sorceror's Stone? Well. I lied." Dumbledore said "Instead I used it as the power source for this staff. Anyway, I came here to discuss our last resort."
"Last resort? What do you mean? You said we had this battle 'in the bag.' Please tell me you weren't lying there too!" Harry exclaimed
"Er.I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't lying there." Dumbledore replied sheepishly
Harry sighed
"So what's this last resort anyway?" Harry asked
"The last resort is easy." Dumbledore replied, passing Harry a scroll "You read the spell on that scroll holding all the stuff you might need and go back in time and fix this mess we're in."
"Travel through time?" Harry asked
"That's what the spell does." Dumbledore answered.
"Ah. And I'm supposed to use the Sorceror's stone to keep myself alive?" Harry asked
"Yes." Dumbledore replied
"OK. How do I use the stone?" Harry asked
"Just point the staff at a cup of water and say *'ettalahcom.'" Dumbledore responded
"And how do I turn metal into gold with it?" Harry wondered
"Just say **'eseehcdnacamtfark'" Dumbledore replied
"Got a cup of water I can practice on? And a piece of metal I can turn to gold?" Harry said
"Right here." Dumbledore said handing him a metal cup full of water.
"Ettalahcom!" Harry yelled pointing at the cup
With a flash of red light there before him was a steamy mug of coffee of some sort.
"What th-?" Harry started
"Relax. The elixir is mixed in. It's just the taste is horrible. I tampered with the spell some." Dumbledore replied
"Oh. What's the actual spell just for reference?" Harry asked
***"sgnikfodoolb emedisnievahi latrommimai" Dumbledore answered
"Thanks. sgnikfodoolb emedisnievahi latrommimai!" Harry shouted
There was another flash of light, this time yellow. The cup of coffee turned into a discolored type of carbonated water. Harry picked up the cup and took a gulp. Then he sprayed it across the room.
"HOLY HELL! THIS TASTES LIKE FRESCA! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!" Harry bellowed
Dumbledore was rolling paralyzed with laughter. Harry looked down at the scroll and realized that the spell to prolong his life was written on the scroll.
Harry pointed the staff at the half empty cup of Fresca and said yelled ****"purysnroc esotcurfhgih"
The Fresca changed into a sweet smelling goo that had the same appearance and texture of petroleum jelly. Harry ate all of it in one gulp and licked his lips. Power seemed to course through his veins.
"Oh!" Dumbledore said "Before I forget there's an age changing spell. It's: *****yalofolio"
Harry nodded a reply.
Then came an earthshaking boom.
"Oh dear." Dumbledore said, seriousness filling his voice "That was the door to the great hall being knocked down. GET YOUR THINGS AND GO! NOW!"
Harry scrambled, grabbing the staff, Godric Gryffindor's sword, his trunk and the scroll. He unraveled the scroll and read it aloud as Dumbledore exited the password-protected room.
****** "niagaprawemit ehtods'tel September first nineteen thirty-five!"
End chapter one.
A/n * ettalachom = Mocha Latte ** eseehcdnacamtfark = Kraft mac and cheese *** sgnikfodoolb emedisnievahi latrommimai = I am immortal I have inside me blood of kings **** purysnroc esotcurfhgih = High Fructose Corn Syrup ***** yalofolio = oil of olay ****** I'll let you guess this one out by looking at the other ones I typed out. Think along the lines of Rocky Horror.
By the way, the reason he goes to September first 1935 is because that's the day Tom Riddle comes to Hogwarts.
Hope the chapter was enjoyable, remember to review, and last but not least IF YOU THINK THE STORY SUCKS, TELL ME DAMN IT!
A/n: The first chapter may be a bit on the silly side, but I assure you, the rest of the story is serious (unless you want silliness in which case, that can be arranged.)
Tick Tock Chapter one: Sorceror's stone?
Hogwarts Castle, the last standing sanctuary to the good was under siege. Every wizard in the world was here Good or evil. Everyone from both sides was on the grounds fighting it out. Everyone except for Harry and Dumbledore.
On the grounds, the good side was crumbling, fast. Harry sat atop the astronomy tower and looked down while he watched his fellow students and teachers die.
"Come Harry. It's time I showed you something." Dumbledore's ever soothing voice said from behind him.
Harry nodded, grabbed his trunk and followed him soundlessly.
Harry sort of zoned out as he was walking behind Dumbledore. He went deep into thought.
He thought of his first where he, Ron and Hermione ran the gauntlet to save the Sorceror's stone. Tears ran down Harry's face. Ron.Hermione. Dead and gone.
He thought of his second year where he saved Ginny from the Basilisk and Tom Riddle. More tears. Ginny was dead too.
Nearly everyone was dead.
Remus, Fred, George, Percy, Bill, Charlie, Colin, Dennis, Lee. Even Ludo Bagman bit the dust.
"Harry?" Dumbledore said "We're here."
Harry looked around. There wasn't anything here. Just empty walls. There weren't even portraits. He looked at Dumbledore, his confusion evident on his face.
Dumbledore got a weird look on his face. Like he was reliving a funny memory that he had forgotten long ago.
"I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming--
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real." Harry winced. Dumbledore was singing 'I feel pretty.' Dumbledore had lost his last marble.
Then the wall opened. That was the password. Makes sense. No self- respecting Death Eater would be caught dead singing that.
Harry followed Dumbledore into the room. The door slid shut behind him.
The room was covered with maps, scrolls, potions, wands and a wizard's staff. Harry looked at the staff. There was a large red stone at the top that Harry could've sworn he'd seen before. Then it hit him, like the slap of a giant (which Harry recalled from memory, hurt a lot) that it was the Sorceror's stone. (A/n I know I bring the stone in to my stories too much, but hey, it is an awesome story generator.)
"Harry? Remember when I said I destroyed the Sorceror's Stone? Well. I lied." Dumbledore said "Instead I used it as the power source for this staff. Anyway, I came here to discuss our last resort."
"Last resort? What do you mean? You said we had this battle 'in the bag.' Please tell me you weren't lying there too!" Harry exclaimed
"Er.I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't lying there." Dumbledore replied sheepishly
Harry sighed
"So what's this last resort anyway?" Harry asked
"The last resort is easy." Dumbledore replied, passing Harry a scroll "You read the spell on that scroll holding all the stuff you might need and go back in time and fix this mess we're in."
"Travel through time?" Harry asked
"That's what the spell does." Dumbledore answered.
"Ah. And I'm supposed to use the Sorceror's stone to keep myself alive?" Harry asked
"Yes." Dumbledore replied
"OK. How do I use the stone?" Harry asked
"Just point the staff at a cup of water and say *'ettalahcom.'" Dumbledore responded
"And how do I turn metal into gold with it?" Harry wondered
"Just say **'eseehcdnacamtfark'" Dumbledore replied
"Got a cup of water I can practice on? And a piece of metal I can turn to gold?" Harry said
"Right here." Dumbledore said handing him a metal cup full of water.
"Ettalahcom!" Harry yelled pointing at the cup
With a flash of red light there before him was a steamy mug of coffee of some sort.
"What th-?" Harry started
"Relax. The elixir is mixed in. It's just the taste is horrible. I tampered with the spell some." Dumbledore replied
"Oh. What's the actual spell just for reference?" Harry asked
***"sgnikfodoolb emedisnievahi latrommimai" Dumbledore answered
"Thanks. sgnikfodoolb emedisnievahi latrommimai!" Harry shouted
There was another flash of light, this time yellow. The cup of coffee turned into a discolored type of carbonated water. Harry picked up the cup and took a gulp. Then he sprayed it across the room.
"HOLY HELL! THIS TASTES LIKE FRESCA! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!" Harry bellowed
Dumbledore was rolling paralyzed with laughter. Harry looked down at the scroll and realized that the spell to prolong his life was written on the scroll.
Harry pointed the staff at the half empty cup of Fresca and said yelled ****"purysnroc esotcurfhgih"
The Fresca changed into a sweet smelling goo that had the same appearance and texture of petroleum jelly. Harry ate all of it in one gulp and licked his lips. Power seemed to course through his veins.
"Oh!" Dumbledore said "Before I forget there's an age changing spell. It's: *****yalofolio"
Harry nodded a reply.
Then came an earthshaking boom.
"Oh dear." Dumbledore said, seriousness filling his voice "That was the door to the great hall being knocked down. GET YOUR THINGS AND GO! NOW!"
Harry scrambled, grabbing the staff, Godric Gryffindor's sword, his trunk and the scroll. He unraveled the scroll and read it aloud as Dumbledore exited the password-protected room.
****** "niagaprawemit ehtods'tel September first nineteen thirty-five!"
End chapter one.
A/n * ettalachom = Mocha Latte ** eseehcdnacamtfark = Kraft mac and cheese *** sgnikfodoolb emedisnievahi latrommimai = I am immortal I have inside me blood of kings **** purysnroc esotcurfhgih = High Fructose Corn Syrup ***** yalofolio = oil of olay ****** I'll let you guess this one out by looking at the other ones I typed out. Think along the lines of Rocky Horror.
By the way, the reason he goes to September first 1935 is because that's the day Tom Riddle comes to Hogwarts.
Hope the chapter was enjoyable, remember to review, and last but not least IF YOU THINK THE STORY SUCKS, TELL ME DAMN IT!