Disclaimer: Ain't mine, but I soooo wish they were.
Author's Notes: This was supposed to be part of a larger story, but since I didn't write it down, I don't remember it. Figured I'd post it anyway, because people got such a kick out of the last one. This piece is older, so it's not as good. Anyway, I do plan on writing (finishing) a crossover between MacGyver and Stargate: SG-1, the first that I know of that does not have Mac and Jack as the same person. Let me know in a review or e-mail if you want to read it. Otherwise, I leave you to hopefully enjoy. Be warned, I did not have a beta, and I haven't read through it lately. All mistakes are mine.
"Colonel, what are you doing?" Sam asked, trotting after Jack as he marched towards the gym area, heading straight for his gym bag.
Jack raised a hand for silence before digging through the black bag and producing a long, aluminum baseball bat.
"Jaaa-ck, what're you doing?" Daniel tried again, drawing out the "a" in the Colonel's name.
Jack ignored him, giving the bat a few experimental swings. Without answering, he strode out of the gym and straight down the hallway, flashing his ID to the guard before exiting the mountain.
The other three members of SG-1 followed after him, curious and slightly worried for their commander's sake.
Jack stopped next to Colonel Maybourne's Cadillac, raising the bat high over his head.
"NO! Jack, remember last time you did this?" Daniel shouted, running up and grabbing the end of the metal bat.
"It's therapeutic Danny, outta my way!" Jack shouted, trying to yank the bat away from the younger archeologist.
"No more therapy! Put the bat down!" Daniel demanded, keeping a firm grip on the end of the bat as he repeatedly stepped in front of the irate Colonel.
With a sigh of frustration, Jack finally released the end of the bat, allowing Daniel to snatch it away. "You used to be a lot more fun when you were too scared to stand up to me," he grumbled.
"I was never scared of you, Jack." He scowled for a moment, then nodded. "No, no, I was never scared of you…a little weirded out, but never scared."
"Whatever." Jack began to trudge back to the opening of the base in the side of the mountain while Teal'c and Carter looked on in bewilderment. Daniel followed closely behind the Colonel, making sure that he didn't try and beat the hell out of the other Colonel's car. Jack kept looking back over his shoulder, a slightly wistful look on his face.
"It would've been so beautiful…" he sighed, thinking of the damage he could still do if he made a break for it. Wait…
In the blink of an eye, Jack had whirled around, snatched the bat away from Daniel, and ran while shouting a shrill war cry as he charged the Cadillac; bat out to his side like a battle-ax.
With a resounding, shattering crunch, the metal bat connected with the glass of the Cadillac's driver side window, blowing the glass inwards and peppering the inside with deadly shards.
"AHAHAHAHA!" Jack laughed triumphantly, though to Carter he sounded a little demented. Teal'c and Daniel managed to wrestle the Colonel away from the car, Teal'c relieving him of his weapon before he could inflict any more damage on it.
As they dragged him off, Jack started swatting at their hands. "I'm fine now, let go." When they refused to listen, he slammed his feet into the ground, bracing himself on the pavement as the other two were jerked to a sudden halt. "That's an order!"
"Colonel O'Neill, you just took it upon yourself to destroy the vehicular transport of Colonel Maybourne after you were given explicit instructions to stay away from it and not antagonize the Colonel any further," Teal'c reminded his leader.
"Who's antagonizing? I was dispensing justice with my Bat of Might!" Jack protested, jamming his feet into the ground to prevent Daniel and Teal'c from trying to shove him, thus forcing them to try and drag him out of the parking lot. "And weren't you the one that said something about eviscerating, or dismembering him?"
"You know Jack, it worries me that you actually have a name for your baseball bat," Daniel muttered.