A/N: Post season 2 finale. Multi-chapter fic of Liz trying to reassess her sense of self and of course Red is there to help her. Total, shameless Lizzington. Let me know what you think and if I should continue
They had been travelling for days. Not always by plane. Sometimes a truck or a car would take them to their next short flight.
Red was silent, watchful, until they left the U.S., but had loosened up a little bit when he realized that Ressler wasn't going to chase them down the tarmac.
She worried that Red is sad because she ruined everything. They had a good thing going, getting rid of Red's enemies from the relative protection of the FBI.
She knew he admired Ressler for his unflinching honor and simplicity of thoughts. She snorted at that. He had no qualms pointing out Ressler's short-sightedness. She had to admit, Red was such a smart-ass, but an adorable smart-ass.
Not expecting an answer, but too curious to keep quiet she asked "Where are we?"
"Kazakhstan. We have associates here. And money. Both things that are going to come in handy in the next few weeks."
She was so surprised that he actually answered without deflecting that she really had prepared no response.
"Come on Lizzie, no comments? It's a beautiful country. Lovely architecture. Lots of shopping, which we will definitely be doing. But I suppose if you get bored, we could always participate in the Khyz Kuu. It's a celebration where the men drink fermented mare's milk and chase their maidens down on horseback. In fact, I believe that would make this entire fiasco well worth it."
She blushed at the images his words created in her mind. Red. Chasing her on horseback. How barbaric. She was not aroused. Not even a little.
Damn. Maybe she was a little turned on.
Red laughed for the first time in weeks at what must be written all over her face. If he could find a little joy in this entire screwed up situation that she put him in, then she would happily take the embarrassment.
"Maybe another would beat you to me. Horseback riding doesn't strike me as your type of thing" she teased back, wanting to keep him smiling.
"Oh, you'd be surprised at my stamina, dear Lizzie. I'm not quite ready to be put out to pasture, at least not yet."
She loved that he was so quick-witted, but absolutely hated that he used it so often to make her speechless.
The sexual innuendos were nothing new. This..this was something else entirely. More blatant. More potent.
As if she needed one more reason to be attracted to Raymond Reddington.
She knew that to reply would only dig herself deeper, escalate his retort. She wasn't quite ready for that, not yet.
Being away from the FBI was so…freeing. That she really had no frame of reference on how to behave. How to react.
She had tailored everything in her to be FBI. She had no idea who she even was at the moment.
Al she knew was that she was terrified of what she would discover.
Red had once told her to 'act like a criminal…just be yourself'. She hated to think that this was fate. Destiny didn't control what she fought so hard to overcome. Being a petty thief, a criminal, as a juvenile was fun and games, certainly not a career, by any means.
So she had decided that she would take advantage of her sealed juvenile record and start new. She already knew the inner workings of the criminal mind. She had some first-hand knowledge, but was fascinated by the prospect of studying it closer. That is why she had decided to seek a career as an FBI profiler.
Sam had been ecstatic. He hated that she was so good at stealing. He was the one to teach her to begin with, though not for the purposes that she utilized her skills.
He taught her how to pick locks so that no one could ever hold her against her will. The teachings of a paranoid father were morphed into something that took on a life of its own.
The adrenaline rush was what she had sought in the beginning. After she had fallen in with the band of misfits she called friends, the companionship and the camaraderie was what kept her there long after the thrill had begun to wane.
The day she joined law-enforcement was the happiest day of Sam's life. She was almost glad that he wasn't here to see what a mess she made of things.
When they had finally arrived at their home for the time being, she was shown around by Red who insisted on escorting her himself. He looked so worried about her now that he wasn't covering it up with shameless flirting. "Relax Red, it's not as if I'm going to off myself." His face darkened, but he didn't deny that it wasn't exactly what he thought.
"You should rest up, because tomorrow we are going to have you fitted for a wardrobe."
She just rolled her eyes at him "I don't need you to dress me-"
"Oh, but you absolutely do, my dear. You are now working from my side of the tracks and from that perspective, money and power equals respect, and a Macy's rack sale suit won't cut it. I think you are gorgeous, and no matter what I would want underneath your biker jacket, but my, now our associates will know the difference between tailored and not. We are cultivating a persona. It's one of the most vital pieces of this new puzzle we've been given.
You and I both know that returning to the FBI is no longer possible. But I can make sure that when our journey is done and over, everyone who comes in contact with Elizabeth Keen will think twice before betraying her."
His words struck a chord. By killing Tom Connelly, the Attorney General of the United States, she had chimed a bell that simply could not be un-rung. Her choices from here on out would shape the rest of her life.
Was she prepared for that? To become like Red to clear her name? The more she thought about it, the more at home she was with the idea. She had thought him a terrible, selfish, monster.
In reality, he was protecting her from the monster within herself.
She looked at him, letting a true smile grace her lips "I want that. And you know what? I can't wait."
He smiled back, but it was one laced with regret and sadness.
This was never what he had planned for her.
A/N: Let me know what you think. Thank you for taking the time to read!