It wasn't supposed to be like this. Really, it wasn't. To be honest with myself (which I usually tried to be, regardless of how bad the situation might be), none of this had been supposed to happen, especially not like this.
"That thing is uh... it's um..." I heard Nat trail off (normally I'd be congratulating who or whatever managed to make him speechless, since it was a very rare occurrence, but under these circumstances, well, we were all more than a little bit speechless ourselves).
"It's really fucking big." Ah, there was Kitty, as eloquent (and blunt) as ever, even as we all nodded with her assessment in silence, still too stunned to do much but stare at the thing in the middle of the great hall. The other occupants of the room remained frozen in silence as well as we all stared up at the roaring thing and our cackling (Seriously, he was legitimately cackling, and it was weird) professor (well, probably ex-professor now, I knew he'd never be a good replacement for old Tchue, temporary or not).
It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was just supposed to have been a few days of stupid detention and nothing more. None of this was supposed to have happened.
And yet, here we are. It had all begun back at the beginning of the year, with a completely stupid accident...
Chapter 1 Book I Arc I
Seventh year began just like all the six previous ones had. Really, really, boringly. The same old stuff year after year. I have no idea how the teachers did it. None at all. (If I had to deal with all of the same stuff for somewhere going on thirty years, without end in sight, I think I'd go crazy.)
After boarding the train, I snagged a compartment after with Queezle, my best friend since I was an annoying little ankle-biter (ask anyone, I really did bite people apparently), we promptly bickered about the summer (she can be such a 'Claw sometimes with how much she misses the library over the summer), fought had a polite conversation with Faquarl and Jabor when they attempted to enter our compartment, and then happily greeted Ptolemy when he managed to escape his overbearing sisters and other assorted not-quite-sane family members of his who also attended Hogwarts (Which was such a dumb name for a school in my opinion. That had been my stance since I could say the word, much to the chagrin of my parents, and that would never change). We spent the ride catching up, playing the occasional card game (With Queezle usually kicking our asses at them. Seriously, that girl could probably make millions from playing poker if she lived in Vegas), and finishing our summer homework (well, okay, with me finishing my summer homework by pestering Ptolemy until he let me read off of his). This was how things had gone since first year, and it would probably repeat itself again next year, before we all went our separate ways after graduation.
The ride lasted too long, as per usual. I snagged a nap (Ptolemy's lap made a surprisingly comfortable pillow, considering how little he was. Honestly, he was barely 5'5"!), argued with Queezle over the benefits of pranking the teachers, and listened to Ptolemy talk about whatever obscure subject he had spent his summer studying (After first year it had been magical creatures, the following year it had been different magical cultures, and so on. This year it had apparently been elemental magics or something like that), as well as his family's annual reunion thingie that they had every summer in Egypt, where most of them were originally from, and many returned to live. (although about half the family was Greek now and had been for a while, even though for some reason they all seemed to have gone to school in Britain for the past four hundred years. Confusing stuff pureblood families were, always made me glad that I wasn't one.), For some reason they both spent the last hour of the ride talking about hair care of all things. Hair care! (Granted, Ptol's hair was a thick, untameable mess, and Queezle's wasn't much better, even though hers was longer. It just got tangled and into everything).
Regardless, I still managed to sleep for about three hours before the train stopped in Hogsmeade. Groaning, I got up, patting Ptolemy on the knee and grinning as he flushed.
"Thanks for being my pillow. You always make a good one." I snickered, before wincing as Queezle flicked the back of my head.
"Flirt later; let's go grab a carriage before we're forced to share one with Faquarl and Jabor again," she said as we got off the train. (Ah yes, everyone had done their best to keep us from being stuck in the same vicinity for long, since the ahem, incident in third year that ended up with the four of us (because Ptolemy is always good about staying out of things, it also helped that he was still a year below us) having detention until Christmas before the feast had even started). Thankfully, we managed to find a carriage without those two in it, even though there were already a few other people in it. Some gangly, scrawny Slytherin kid, with shoulder length black hair who I vaguely recognized from someplace or another, and a shorter (but still taller than Ptolemy), stocky, Gryffindor girl that I was pretty certain was on the quidditch team. I think her name was Jones or something like that. (Little did I know it at the time, but those people in the carriage with me would end up becoming some of the best (and worst) friends I've ever have. But at the time, I had no idea about any of what would happen that year, so I just stared out the window as Ptol struck up a conversation about some ancient runes thing with the Slytherin kid and Queezle and the Gryffindor talked about quidditch.)
The carriage arrived at the school and we all went our separate ways. Queezle and I joined our classmates at the Hufflepuff table, Ptolemy went to the Ravenclaw one, the other two went to their own tables, and that was that. My foot tapped the floor impatiently as I waited for the Headmaster to speak already so we could eat. Queezle stepped on my foot, shooting me a warning glance as I sighed, resting my chin on my hand as I watched the new firsties being sorted. Since when had they all gotten so short? They kept shrinking each year it seemed, and soon enough they'd be so short you wouldn't be able to see them, and my mind is wandering.
The sorting ended soon enough, and the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (try saying that five times fast after a shot or two of firewhiskey!), Uraziel, stood up, a wide grin on his face that had half the older girls sighing (I didn't see the appeal, the man was probably old enough to be their father, attractive as he may be).
"Welcome to our new students! And welcome back to our old ones! It's so good to see everyone again! Hopefully this year will be as good as the last one! As usual, the Forbidden Forest is exactly that, Forbidden." He began (I could've sworn he, and some of the other teachers, shot me a glance when the forest was brought up. That was unfair, it had been years since I had been caught going into the forest. Honestly…) with a warm voice.
"Additionally, Mr. Simpkin has added several more items to the list of banned items that is on his office door, if anyone cares to read over that list, which I believe to have over several hundred things on it, he does not wish to see in the corridors. Now, I hope that you all have a splendid year! Dig in!" And with a flourish of his arms, the peacock sat down as the food appeared. I couldn't resist rolling my eyes at him, even as Queezle jabbed me in the arm with a fork.
"Be nice." She hissed, "You may not like Uraziel, but you do still have to deal with him for the rest of this year. You can go off to live as the hermit you've always wanted to be after you've graduated," she said, as she piled some vegetables (gross) onto my plate. I made a face.
"I don't want to be a hermit; I just want to be left alone. There is a difference there, Queezle. And why do you always put gross green things onto my plate," I said, making a disgusted noise as I poked them around with my fork.
"Hermit, being left alone, there really isn't as big a difference between those two as you may think, Bartimaeus. And honestly, stop poking at them and just eat the damn things, they won't kill you. Or do you want Faquarl to somehow find out that you have an eternal hatred for all things green and leafy so that he can use that to get his revenge on you? Hmm?" Damn her. She always knew how to get me to do things. Thankfully we were now in seventh year, and soon enough I'd never ever have to deal with Faquarl or Jabor again, and I could go off and live my life in peace (with, you know, the occasional visit to Ptolemy, have to keep his life interesting, and make sure that he hasn't drowned himself in books, yeah?).
I grumbled, and grudgingly ate the green things on my plate, grumbling under my breath the entire time. Bleh. Vegetables were nasty, and it was pure torture to make me eat them, but at least the desserts were always good. The feast passed quickly though, as it always did, and by the time it was done I just wanted to go back to sleep again (but that was nothing new, Queezle swore up and down that I would hibernate all year round if I could. I always agreed with her on that). The food disappeared from the tables, and I rolled my eyes at the awe on some of the firsties faces. Uraziel stood up again and silence fell through the hall as everyone turned to face him.
"Once more, I wish to welcome our new students, and our old ones. I also would like to remind everyone that magic outside of class is frowned upon. Club signups begin next week, and if extra help is needed in a class, please talk to your teacher. Additionally, I would like to welcome our temporary History of Magic teacher, Professor Lovelace, as Professor Tchue is away on a very important archeological dig for the year, and our newest Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Khaba. That is all. Prefects, please make sure that all first years get settled into their dorms safely." Finished, he swept out of the hall through the teachers' entrance behind their table. Immediately the hall grew noisy with the sounds of prefects shouting at the tiny eleven year olds to follow them, and with the general chaos that was usually associated with the end of the welcoming feast. Queezle and I slipped away from the crowds and made our way to the Hufflepuff dorms on our own.
"So, we've got another new DADA professor. Think that this one'll be any good?" I asked her idly as we took a shortcut down to our dorms.
"No idea. I haven't heard of him though. Ptol might have, you should ask him. What happened to Whatshisface from last year anyways?" She asked, frowning.
"I dunno man, Odalis? Yeah, something about a startled face in a bathroom tile." I shrugged.
"No, no not him…" She said, chewing on her lip and waving a hand about as she tried to remember the name of one of the many DADA teachers we had had over our stint at the school.
"Azul? Apparently he was petrified to stone after a nasty incident. Basilisk was involved. Like I said, nasty…" I rambled on, snickering lightly as Queezle threw me a glare.
"Be nice, but yeah, that's the one. It gets weirder and weirder every year. Philocretes really took the cake though, let me tell you. I doubt that anyone will manage to top that," she said as we reached the entrance to the dorms, hearing the chattering, high pitched voices of the eleven year olds following the Hufflepuff prefects (I was always thankful that I had never been made one of them, although I knew that with my track record it was impossible. And by her association with me, Queezle wasn't one either. I doubted that she cared that much anyways).
"Yeah, you can still hear old Philocretes talking to himself in a pot. We think it's his ghost." I snickered as she rolled her eyes, tapping the barrel to open the door.
"Yeah, not entirely sure about that rumor. Nobody's been willing to investigate, so…" She trailed off as we entered the cozy (I used the term loosely. The room had always been a bit too yellow for my tastes) common room that belonged to us 'Puffs.
"Ah well, we'll just have to wait and see if this Khaba is any good then. Can't be any worse than Tallow was. I'm going to bed though, so I'll see you at breakfast or whatever tomorrow Queezle," I said, stretching my arms above my head before grinning at her as she nodded.
"You have a point there. And try not to be late this year. You're impossible to handle in the mornings if you don't get breakfast," she said before heading off to the girls dorm. I turned the other way and entered the boys dorm, ignoring the few other seventh years in there (especially Jabor) as I flopped down face first onto the bed, quickly falling asleep. I could already tell that this year was going to be an interesting one, whether I wanted it to be, or not.
A/n: omg, I still can't believe that I wrote this, but whatever. I'm going to try to keep up weekly updates (so that'll be every Tuesday probs) and yeah. Really hope that you enjoyed it, please leave comments, and constructive criticism uvu
Also a HUGE thanks to Jonah for being awesome in general, and for being the beta for this story uwu (I'll put up the link to her AO3 profile on my bio))