Title: The Definition of Hope
Game: Kingdom Hearts
Character(s): Xemnas
Words: 391 (flash fiction)
Notes: Just thinking and a line from KHII: Final Mix/ novels. About how the Order could feel but because they were incomplete they stated they didn't have hearts and felt nothing. also. (I want to rewrite this somewhat.)
The Definition of Hope
Once upon a time he would have sat alone in the dark and felt pain. But as he sat alone in the dark he felt nothing.
But that wasn't true. He felt a strange ambition; a yearning for more.
So he threw himself into his task, searched for what he told the others would complete them, while he himself doubted.
Ignoring that, he dove more deeply into the meanings of what was and what wasn't; made himself believe that what he was doing mattered and would bring everything to rights, while losing sight of what he really wanted in the first place.
Because he was still alone in the dark, feeling the pain. He didn't want it. He would have rather felt nothing like they claimed, but it lingered there, festered; growing even while being ignored.
It haunted him while he sat alone, and so he stopped; using the time instead to lecture and rave to the others about the gloriousness of their mission and how they would succeed so grandly, and the meaning behind the light and the darkness and especially the nothingness. He raved so that maybe if they all believe, he would as well, and the pain would lessen.
He told them all they felt nothing, and that they had lost everything, but it would be okay, because they could get it back. They could – would – succeed. They would be complete, and they would not be nothing.
After saying those words time and time again, it became like a habit that he had forgotten; a religion that wasn't questioned. And that's what it became.
But when the first member fell, incomplete, and faded away, his delusions melted away and he remembered the forgotten pain and became more frantic in his search. His sanity tipped and no longer did his plans make sense. He didn't see the others in front of him; he only saw their objective, and now, even that looked flawed.
If only he had faith in what he told the others.
But the pain, the thought that had forever seemed so much more like truth to him; soul-wrenching truth that made even non-existence unbearable, stayed deep within him, corrupting any faith that might have settled there.
The thought that once you lose something, no matter how hard you try, you can never get it back again.
Fin.
A.N. - I might write more, you know one for each, but as most know, I also am a procrastinator. It depends I guess on how it goes.