What the Girls Like
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, but I'm gonna go find it!!
Summary: Sanji walks in on the scariest thing of his life that ends up in a long conversation with his favorite green haired nakama.
A/N: Currently, I am sick and can't sleep. So I'm writing this one shot sparked on the realization that Sanji is the only one of the men in the Strawhat crew that has leg hair… Lol So if it scares you or doesn't make any sense or people seem OOC then I apologize . enjoy and review!!
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It had been an incredibly long day as most days usually are for the blonde chef of the Mugiwara Pirates.
Waking up early to serve his nakama breakfast and chase away his captain once they were finished… Preparing lunch after breakfast, serving lunch, and again fending off his captain… Preparing dinner after lunch, serving dinner, and once more fending off his captain even though there were no more meals left in the day… Keeping the marimo swordsman from downing all the beer… And all the while making sure his beloved Nami-swan and Robin-chwan were in good health, nourished, and fawned upon at all free hours of the day. Not that he really minded taking off some of his spare time to dote upon the lovely women on the Going Merry. The women were such a relief from the stress of his captain and the rest of the idiotic crew.
He sighed at the thought of his lovely girls, tucked tightly into their warm beds, safe and sound with the look of angels upon their soft sleeping faces. His nostrils flared and he couldn't help but bring his hands too his face and make a sound of approval as he made his way to the bathroom.
He opened the door in mid thought and stopped dead once he had.
…
He could have said something exactly at that moment. He could have made some sort of horrified scream. He could even have shut the door and left… but curiosity and the chance to reel in some blackmail held him fast.
"Wha-…Why-….Ho-…" he wasn't sure to begin.
Zoro looked up at the blonde with a peculiar look on his face as he made one last swipe on his leg with the small pocket knife covered with foam and dropped it at his side.
"What's the matter, love cook?"
"…" Where to begin?
"…"
Silence.
"…"
"…"
"What the hell were you just doing?!" That about summed up his thoughts in one explosive question. He was even huffing at the end of his outburst and was overcome with the decision to laugh.
He clutched his sides and outright laughed to the point where his lungs hurt and his face began to turn red. He wiped the stream of tears pouring from his eyes.
What he had just walked in on was obviously one of the funniest things he had ever seen in his life.
Roronoa Zoro… the notorious pirate hunter turned pirate… was shaving his legs.
That thought alone kept him laughing. He never would have guessed that the muscle head would be so feminine as to shave his legs. He spent all day lifting absurdly large weights and leaking testosterone wherever he went.
The blonde should have had enough laugh time now, Zoro thought. He wasn't sure what was so funny to the chef, but he some how got the feeling that he was the center of the love cook's inside joke and thus, he felt a sense of anger rise in him.
"What's so funny crap-cook?"
Sanji calmed down a little bit when asked the question. He started to breath normal again and he could feel the pain in his throat and lungs, the wetness on his face was beginning to dry, but the heat on his face persisted.
"Well?" Zoro really had no idea what was so funny.
"You…were shaving… your legs," Sanji said in between gasps, a smile creeping back onto his face and he straightened his back.
Zoro just looked at Sanji.
"And that's funny…?" He still didn't understand the humor in it. He thought of all people, the love-cook would understand the importance of shaving one's legs…
"I just never thought that, the all powerful, great and mighty, demon hunter Roronoa Zoro," Zoro felt an eye twitch at the sarcasm blatantly laid out in Sanji's false praise, "would do something as feminine as shaving his legs!" Sanji couldn't help another teasing smile.
"It's not feminine…" Zoro turned his head to the side. Sanji almost died. He moved closer to the green haired swordsman and through a friendly arm around his shoulders and leaned on him for support as he used his other hand to draw up his pant leg to reveal the hair.
"That," he pointed to Zoro's clean-shaven legs, "is feminine. This, however," he makes a gesture to his own leg, "is masculine." He drops his leg down and steps away from the swordsman who just continued to watch him. "Hair is supposed to be on a man. Without it, you lose a certain manliness to you. Real men have hair," he stated the last part with a sense of pride beaming from his voice.
Zoro took a moment longer to study the cook before giving a smirk.
"But it's what the girls want."
"Exa-what?" It was with that statement that Zoro knew he had won the battle.
"You heard me love-cook," he watched the blonde with his widening, victorious smirk. "Girls don't like the hair," he points down at his own hairless leg.
It somehow made sense to the chef. It wasn't supposed to, but it did.
"What makes you think that?" Sanji questioned, trying to find some way to counter act this revelation that the swordsman had brought unto him.
"Have you ever been with a woman? …" his smirk intensified when the chef scowled. "When things get heated and limbs get tangled, a hairy leg is not one of the most desired thing a woman's bare leg wants. It's itchy… scratchy… and apparently makes it feel as if something is crawling up their own legs." He stifled a laugh when the chef's hand subconsciously moved to his upper thigh.
There was no way the marimo could be right… Could there? Could the ladies he loves so much really be put off by his manliness? He started to think back at most of the times when he came onto other women and had been rejected… sometimes brutally… Could his years of rejection really be caused by this?
He could feel himself go into a state of mental breakdown. He needed to retort somehow. He looked around, trying to grasp for some comment to throw back at the smirking swordsman.
"So you know this from experience, eh, marimo?" he puts out weakly. Zoro just looked at him again and gave a little shrug. He had never felt so weak and left out.
"No… Everyone does it." Sanji felt something hit him in the head. It almost rivaled one of the crap-geezer's kicks…
"How do you know?"
"The rest of the crew does it… And I don't make a habit of looking at every man's legs, but… You and Bon-Clay are the only ones that I have really noticed that don't… But I suppose he doesn't count. I don't really think he's looking for women at all." Zoro hammered in the last nail to Sanji's sanity.
… Was he really the only one?
Sanji frantically thought of his male crewmembers. Luffy? … Luffy wore shorts all the time… He tried desperately to think of instances where he had caught good glimpses of his captain's legs. He felt so awkward thinking of his nakama's legs with such frenzy. He couldn't seem to recall Luffy having any hair on his legs… No, he couldn't give up.
Usopp? In that gap between his shoes and the end of his pants… No hair. Sanji could feel panic strike him. Who was left? Who else was there? … Just him… and hairless Zoro… Chopper didn't count; he was a reindeer. He had fur.
He never felt so alone when Zoro laughed and clapped him on the shoulder on his way out.
"Get some sleep, Sanji." He had enough fun for the night.
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The next morning when Zoro awoke to the call for breakfast, he found the love cook dressed in a set of red capris with a white shirt and tie. The blonde seemed to be in better spirits than what Zoro had left him with last night. No permanent mental scar apparently.
The swordsman looked him up and down as his felt the whir of his captain run by him to be seated and the bustle of his other nakama. Suddenly, his gaze fell to the exposed white leg. No hair.
He could feel a smirk graze his face as he strode by the chef who was in mid scolding of the captain.
He paused only for a second, enough to whisper to the chef, "You know…girls don't like men with pasty legs." He chuckled to himself as he noticed the chef freeze up and he walked away.
Suddenly he felt a pain in the back of his head as a black clog shoe came in contact with it and he went flying into the wall. He brought a hand up after his body had settled on the floor and he pulled himself up, muttering some curses about a "love-cook" and a "crap-cook," before unsheathing Yubashiri and charging the chef for their morning fight.
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A/N: Wasn't meant to be long and it probably sounds like I was on crack for thinking this up. Lol But no, my version of crack is called LOS or "lack of sleep." Let me know what you think anyways and I hope you enjoyed. For the Zoro/ Sanji fans I'm gonna make another version of this and turn it into a Zosan fic. It'll be cute, I promise. Lol But for now, please review!!