A/N: This is just a little oneshot I wrote the other night. Takes place during late season 3.
Summary: All John wants is someone to eat dinner with. But in his efforts to do so, he finds himself getting a lot more than he expected.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Stargate Atlantis. I do, however, own all five seasons on DVD. And that's almost good enough for me.
John Sheppard glanced at the clock on his desk and sighed. The pile of paperwork had finally gotten down to a level that he felt comfortable leaving until tomorrow, and he had been ignoring the growling stomach noises for too long.
He stood and pushed his chair under the desk, then walked out of his quarters, tapping his earpiece on the process. "Sheppard to Weir."
"Go ahead," she replied.
"You wanna grab some dinner?"
He heard a sigh and he already knew her answer.
"I'm sorry, John, but I have a team that's overdue and I would prefer to wait until they're safely back. Otherwise, I would love to."
He shrugged. "No problem. Let me know if you need anything."
"Thank you. Weir out."
He made it to a transporter, waving his hand in front of it as he tapped his earpiece again. "Sheppard to McKay."
"McKay here, go ahead."
"I know you've gotta be hungry. I can hear your complaining across the city."
Then Radek Zelenka's voice filtered through, shouting something in Czech that John recognized all too well as a curse.
"Actually, we're having some issues down here. Primarily that Zelenka will not accept what is right in front of his face!"
Zelenka cursed again, but in English this time.
Sheppard shut off the comm before it got any worse.
The transporter took him close to the gym, and since it was almost sundown, John figured that Teyla would be there, practicing with a Marine or with Ronon.
He was wrong on both counts.
After profusely apologizing and promising Teyla and Kanaan that he wouldn't say anything about their new relationship, he quickly jogged down the corridors, heading towards Ronon's room.
He wasn't there.
John frowned, then tapped his comm. "Ronon, this is Sheppard. What's your location?"
Five seconds went by, tempting John to repeat the call, until a raspy voice finally replied. "Infirmary."
Oh great.
When John arrived, Carson assured him that with proper bed rest and nutrition, Ronon would be back on his feet in a few days.
Ronon disagreed, tried to get on his own two feet, and ended up on the floor.
After John helped Carson get the Satedan back into bed, John walked to the cafeteria in defeat, accepting the fact that he was eating dinner alone.
The cafeteria was empty, save for the manager and two Marines eating in the corner. John took a seat near the railing and began eating his turkey sandwich, albeit slowly.
About a quarter of the way through his sandwich, someone set a tray down next to him. "Is this seat taken?"
John looked up in surprise at Elizabeth. "I thought you were-"
"-Waiting on the team that came through ten minutes later?" she retorted, smiling as she sat down next to him.
He nodded. "Thanks."
Elizabeth began picking through her salad when two more figures walked up.
"Hello, Elizabeth. John."
The Expedition leader smiled. "Hello, Teyla. Kanaan, good to see you again. John, have you two met yet?"
John kept a straight face as he extended a hand. "Nope. Nice to meet you."
"You as well, Colonel. Would you mind if we sat with you?"
John and Elizabeth glanced at each other. "No, not at all," she replied, voicing John's thought as well.
No sooner had they sat down with their mugs of tea than did Radek walk in.
"Think he wants to sit with me too?" John said sotto voce to Elizabeth.
Elizabeth suppressed a chuckle as he grumbled in his native tongue, grabbed an inordinate amount of food, and left.
John watched him go, then shrugged. "Guess not."
Teyla began talking about an Athosian festival that was coming up soon. Something to do with the first year. First year of what? he silently pondered afterwards. It wasn't that he was deliberately ignoring Teyla; rather, he wanted to eat with people so he wasn't all alone.
His head nodded at what seemed appropriate times.
Until Elizabeth lightly elbowed him.
"Huh?"
Kanaan's face lit up in a smile, one that could have been understood as mocking, but John had seen that particular smile with too many guys.
He just missed something important, and he was about to pay for it.
Teyla smiled, somewhat amused. "I was just saying that you and Elizabeth should come. As the representatives from Atlantis. A unified front would help to reassure our people of your support."
"Of course," Elizabeth replied, turning her head and giving john a sideways look. He raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, sure. Sounds good."
Teyla seemed satisfied with the answers and picked up her tea cup. John sighed inwardly in relief. That wasn't so bad.
"Oh, and you will be required to undergo a cleansing ritual. But aside from that, I think it will be a lovely festival."
"Wait, what cleansing ritual?"
Kanaan and Teyla exchanged amused glances.
John and Elizabeth stared in concern.
"Yes, what does that entail for Colonel Sheppard?" Elizabeth asked, sounding more interested than she should.
John shifted in his seat, eyes roaming around the cafeteria to find anyone that could help him get out of this predicament.
Then a blonde haired, fresh faced woman entered the cafeteria.
"Hey, Doctor Keller! Got a minute?"
Jennifer Keller turned around, looking very much like a deer in the headlights.
"M-me?"
"Yeah. You wanna sit down for a minute?"
Keller walked over, hands behind her back. "Am I in trouble? Sir?"
"No, no, not at all. We were just taking a break, wondered if you wanted to join us."
"Phew," she replied, causing raised eyebrows across the table. "Umm, sorry, actually, I'm on an errand for Doctor Beckett. He wanted me to get some food for Ronon. And a shelf-stretcher," she added suddenly.
John chuckled throatily. "How long have you been on Atlantis, Doc?"
"About three weeks. Since the Daedalus' last supply run."
Elizabeth looked up in concern. "John? I thought we talked about this."
"We did. Apparently, Beckett lost the memo."
"Well, Doctor Beckett didn't actually tell me to come up here."
"No?"
"No. I ran into Doctor McKay on my way to the infirmary, and he said that if I could do him a favor, it would help him out."
Sheppard groaned, then tapped his earpiece. "McKay, report."
"Report on what?"
"Where are you?"
"In the lab. Zelenka just made a food delivery."
"Hmm. I'm in the cafeteria with Doctor Keller, and we're having a little trouble locating the shelf-stretcher."
Teyla glanced between John and Elizabeth with narrowed eyes. "What is the importance of this shelf-stretcher?"
Elizabeth smiled. "You'll see in a minute."
Five minutes later, McKay was standing next to Keller, defending his actions. "Oh c'mon! It was a harmless little prank! I mean, back when we first got here, you pushed me off the catwalk in the control room! And shot me!"
"Okay, first off: you were wearing an Ancient personal shield. And second: I shot you in the leg! While wearing said shield!"
McKay grumbled and Keller pursed her lips. Behind him, John could feel Elizabeth's eyes rolling. Teyla and Kanaan had left shortly after McKay arrived, murmuring something about "unusual Earth customs".
"Okay. Let's get one thing straight, okay? No more pranking new personnel. You copy?"
"Yeah, yeah, I copy," McKay replied, waving his hand dismissively.
John looked at Keller. "Any questions?"
"No, I know now that the next time I get a strange request, I should probably ignore it."
John turned towards Elizabeth.
"Perhaps it would be better to double check with Colonel Sheppard or myself if you doubt the validity of the request. Agreed?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"All righty. Class dismissed."
McKay and Keller turned and walked out uncomfortably.
Once they rounded the corner, John slumped, releasing a sigh as he took his chair again. "All I wanted was someone to eat dinner with."
Elizabeth leaned forward. "You've still got me. Besides, I hear there's ice cream in the freezer."
"How do you know that?"
She shrugged, reminding John of a midnight chat on the Daedalus months prior. "I may have bribed Caldwell to bring a few gallons and to leave it off the manifest."
"Anybody else know about this?"
"Just the cafeteria manager. And she has personally vowed to fight to the death if anyone tries to take it."
"She must really like ice cream," he replied, leaning back in his chair.
Elizabeth chuckled. "She likes me. And that's good enough. Now finish your dinner so we can get some."
"Yes, ma'am."
fin.
Thanks for reading!