' Goodbye …..'
That is what she said ….and then….she walked away ….never looking back.
There I was standing …
Watching her fade away …. hoping once ...just once….she'd look back.
I don't remember how long I stood there….
Trying not to think of it as final nail in the coffin ….yet… failing miserably.
Then it all started coming back to me in rapid bursts of memories…
This was'nt the first time that she had walked away from me…..
The first ….THE PICNIC…
The ill-fated picnic….. she walked away…..leaving me with the shame of my superficial existence…she walked away…..and with her, she took away some of my darkness ….some of my pain…
Then comes …. THE FAIR….
This time she walked away leaving me with the evil blonde …but that's not all ….she left me with a purpose ….a realization that life was'nt supposed to be like this….that living a lie was'nt living at all…..
She didn't want to be my secret …she had said….yet she took with her some of my own…..allowing me to dare to hope for a life where these shackles wouldn't be holding me down….
And then…THE DANCE…..
She walked away having chosen her Maya…leaving me to pick up the pieces of my heart…..she leaves me with the greatest truth of my life that even after I had glued back the many pieces of my heart…..this stupid fool would break all over again for her in a heartbeat…..it would shatter into a million pieces at one sign from her…..
She left me for Maya…yet she took with her a promise….that even if it didn't want to….my heart would always beat for her….
And today she leaves me yet again…
She walks away without even a glance…..if she had looked back she would have seen me waiting for on her rear view mirror for ages…..watching as she faded away…..
Today she left me feeling more empty and desolate than ever before ….but as she drives away ….she takes my heart with her …my miserable fool of a heart which still wanted to bleed for her…its battle scarred….but ready to wound for her…..it cannot stop….because just like me it doesn't know anything else…
So ….even if this feels more like the end than ever before…..there's nothing I can do except the one thing that comes to me as easy as breathing…that is….. to keep loving her…..