Natasha Romanoff hated Tuesdays. Nothing seemed to go right on a Tuesday.
The Black Widow sank onto the couch in her room at Avengers Tower blissfully. She had just returned from a mission in Bangladesh, one in which she had spent the entire mission running and shooting. She needed a break.
Unfortunately for her, she was reminded that Hawkeye had the contact information for the tower when JARVIS suddenly projected his face in front of her.
"Nat," he said excitedly, "You know how I've always said that the Director's head is unnaturally shiny? Well...I caught Fury waxing his head." The Black Widow shook her head with an annoyed smirk. The archer never ran out of stories. "No, really!" He said when he saw her move to cancel his call. "His wax is called-" Natasha touched a button on the armrest and cancelled the transmission. She again allowed herself to lay back and try to rest.
"He's not kidding. I'm looking at the bottle of wax." Iron Man's voice blared over the PA. "It's called, 'Official Lavender'. Isn't that weird? It's wax, but it's called lavender." The Widow cancelled the PA to her room before Stark could continue.
Her phone began to ring. It was Steve Rogers. At least she could trust him to have some serious news. Reluctantly, she answered the phone.
"I don't like to admit this, but...they're right. I saw Fury spray it on his scalp. It was kind of terrifying, actually."
She exclaimed aloud as she threw her phone across the room. Then there was a knock on the door. "Bruce, I swear that if you have something to say about Fury's shiny head, I will kill you."
The genius/rage monster entered her room with his hands raised.
"Easy, Natasha. I was just asking if the guys were spamming you as much as me." Romanoff nodded unhappily, and Bruce nodded. Then, Bruce caught sight of something outside her window and stared.
Outside her window, flying, was Thor.
"Come with me, fellow Avengers!" The Asgardian boomed. "Let us discover together the head of the Bald One!" Natasha looked to Bruce, who returned it with a resigned affirmative. She sighed and walked to the window, then opened it.
"We'll meet you there." She said.
Natasha walked towards Fury's office. She had left Bruce to deal with the men at the front desk, quickly flashing her agent identification before moving through. It was sadistic, but she was in need of a pick-me-up.
She heard the footfalls of a man running toward her, and was able to identify that it was her partner before he rounded the corner.
"Nat! They told me you were here." He said with a large grin when he saw her. He grabbed one of her hands and began to pull her along as though he were an impatient child. "You have to see this. He's doing it again." He said excitedly. Despite herself, Natasha felt herself becoming excited just from being near the boyish agent that was still struggling to make her go faster.
Finally she relented and the two SHIELD agents ran toward Fury's office. Fifty yards away, Clint slowed to a walk and held a finger of his free hand to his lips in a 'shush' gesture. The Black Widow merely rolled her eyes at him. They reached the door of his office, and Hawkeye opened it a sliver.
He gestured for Natasha to look through, and after a moment's hesitation she did.
Fury was waxing his forehead.
It was hilarious.
She looked up at where Clint was peeking just above her and saw he was about to lose it. She heard a thump on the other side of the office and a muffled,
"Odin's Beard!" and that was all the highly trained assassin near her could handle. Clint's shoulders started to shake and Natasha put a hand on one of his shoulders in warning.
Quiet laughter began to come from Barton, until another thump sounded, and the archer began laughing extremely loudly. Then he couldn't stop. The assassin fell on the ground because he was laughing so hard.
Romanoff heard another exclamation - this one coming from Fury - and grabbed her partner by the scruff of his collar to drag him away. She made it twenty feet dragging Clint's dead weight behind her before Fury slammed into the hallway, and the two agents were immediately sprinting away from their mentor, both laughing as they ran.
They heard some gunshots, but left behind their companions. They passed Bruce at the gate and Natasha shouted,
"Run!" before they breezed by. They didn't stop running until they were ten miles away from Fury. Then they boarded a train bound for...they didn't know where, they were just on it. Anywhere but where they were would do.
It took two hours, but the two Avengers returned to Avengers Tower when they felt it was safe(and after Clint had bought some food). Inside, they found four exhausted teammates lounging in the living room.
Barton took the shopping bags Natasha had been carrying and took them to the kitchen while she went to join the rest of the team. Everyone sat silently.
"So...has everyone seen it?" Steve asked with a slightly dazed look in his eyes.
"No." Bruce said. He had been imprisoned by the agents at the front desk, interrogated by Fury, and endured a car ride with Maria Hill before he made it back to Avengers Tower. And he hadn't even seen what everyone kept saying was worth the trouble.
"Don't worry, Green Bean, I got video." Hawkeye said as he entered the room with a bag of chips. He sat down next to the armrest Natasha was sitting on and offered her some.
The silence was only punctuated by Clint's eating.
"We should do that again sometime." Tony said from where he sat. This was generally agreed upon by the team - even Bruce, once he had seen Barton's video - before they scattered to their own rooms. "I need to go fix my helmet. And my elbow joints. And...everything else. See you." Tony said before leaving.
"I need to meditate."
"I must tell Jane Foster of the adventure I experienced today."
Steve and Clint started a movie, an old John Wayne film, and both fell asleep. Natasha finished the movie, cleaned up Barton's bag of chips, and made both men leave for their own rooms to sleep in.
Natasha Romanoff hated Tuesdays. Nothing seemed to go right on a Tuesday. But sometimes, Tuesdays could be a lot of fun.