"Im dead?..." That's all she could think standing barefoot, at her favorite place in the world. Her beach. The beach which held her captivated soul. And there he was, her angel, the man who brought her here. They stood there with white cloth imbedding their bodies, barefoot with their feet buried six feet under the sand.

"Did you bring me here?" she asked this presence she felt behind her. All he could do is stare at her dark hair glistening and swaying to the sun rising wind, and at her body which was made of curves. Every shift created as tough she was a renaissance painting.

"Your beautiful" that's all he could say to her. But it was enough. She turned around and had her eyes closed, he pulled her towards him. She laid her head against his chest, hearing his heart beat, and having his deep breathe increase against her neck with every stoke of his chest she gave him.

"Thank you" she said. She raised her head and opened her eyes, and there he was, the perfect man she's been searching for. His big blue eyes played back her childhood. His sharp face which she outlined with her fingertips, and his soft dark hair that brought a smile to her face. He starred into her light brown eyes which twinkled in the sunrise, noticing that the right one had a darker spot then the left. Her tanned skin looked so peaceful against the white cloth. He couldn't resist looking at her as if she had all his answers, and slowly without a breathe left he said..

"Yes, your dead. Im...Gabriel"

"Gabriel. Interesting name for an angel." she smiled, cupped her hands around his face, kissed his plumped lips, grabbed his hand and said "Common, the sunrise is waiting."

They sat on top of the highest rock that laid on all the others.

"Im Rachael."

"I know. You told me right before you died."

"How did that happen?, never mind."

He let out a silent laugh, which hid behind his bright smile. " Tell me Gabriel, How long ago did you die?"

"I was four. I had cancer."

"So, you never experience it...life?"

He was astonished at her question. That one word, is what he always wanted, what he needed. He wanted to live, and to experience...life.

"Life.." he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Life is what I wanted..I want to feel pain, and growth. To have my first kiss..kiss, wait you were my first kiss." That thought gave him existence, and with that he fell in love with her.

Love, he thought, what was love like? How did it feel?...And sex? Sex with love? How does that turn a boy into a man? He had all these questions, and realized he can finally have them answered. So he asked her. He asked her the one question she's always dreaded to think about. "Have you ever been in love?"

LOVE? She thought it didn't exist for her. It didn't exist for her parents who were married twenty years then divorced. Who spat out blood at every word they said to one another, and walked around with bones sticking out of their bodies, and rearranged faces. She wasn't shown an example of what love was, so how could she have been able to love a man when the only man in her life took his wrath and fury out on the two woman in his life.. His wife, and only daughter.

She was considered a sinful child in their Jewish community. The talk of all jews to know, and all because her parents chose life instead of death by severing all ties. She was watched by all. Her father would have had her blood if she was seen with a man. So how can she have ever been in love? She looked at her angel her face drained in salt and said "I have loved once."

Gabriel's eyes burned with desire. The desire to known her love story. He ignored her salt, and pain , and kept asking to join in her memory of this emotion. He wanted to known. He needed to know.

She smiled at his excitement and couldn't resist not talking.

"Sarah. Her name was Sarah."

"A woman? U loved a woman?"

"I didn't mean to, I was against it as well, but it happened."

"How? How did it happen?"

"I was in my class I took ballet, and in walks this goddess, with hair made of gold, and eyes as green as a field of grass. She was beautiful, in every way. I never thought of a woman in that way before. I had many boyfriends, well more like toys to satisfy my needs but I never felt for them what I felt the first time I saw this woman. It felt as tough my heart would jump out of my body and land in her hands, bleeding to death for her.

I wanted to be close to her, and just stare. Every class she would come in, and stretched, and I stared as if my life depended on it. She lay there on the floor spreading her legs, her hand gliding across them. I watched and wished I sat across from her spreading her legs for her, and caressing her, making sure I outlined every small, and gentle curve in her body.

She knew I was there, that I was in the same class as her, and I was starring but she never said a word. Not one word. Every Thursday I would sneak into the studio, to practice alone, and I put on my music stretched and got ready. There I was practicing, and sweating, and all of a sudden I hear a noise. It was her. It turned out she enjoyed practicing alone as well. I helped her in, and she nodded as an acknowledgment, and I still couldn't speak, all I did was smile.

We practiced together four weeks in a row. At night, all alone, and still not saying one word. Just acknowledgments, with nods, and smiles. Then one night something happened. We were both assigned a recital that represented love making, but there was no man to practice with, all we had was each other. That was enough for me, and apparently for her as well. The music began playing, and she came up behind me, wrapping her arms around my chest, and waist. All I could think was that I couldn't think, I could just hear my heart attacking my chest, and her breathe near my ear which sent vibrating pulses down my spine. She knew what she was doing to me. She felt it. She must have.

She then moved her arms down my body, curving with it as she went further down, reaching in between my legs. She spreads them with my help, and ran her hands up my spine reaching my shoulders pressing firmly on them, pushing me down making sure my legs spread as I go, and my back rubs against her body. She comes around and faces me, coming down spreading her legs as she goes, and leans into me. As she faced me I feast upon her divinity because all of that was for me. She moved in closer both our legs still spread and laid her feet upon mine, making sure our genitals touched. She took her warm hands stroked my hair and pulled my head back as she stroked, and began kissing my neck and brushing her lips against mine. My body was wet. I was soaking trough my clothes, and she felt it. It excited her even more.

She held my hands together behind my back and laid me on the floor. Keeping my hands over my head, as she began to tell the tale of us with her tongue. Stroking more than my conscience, with one hand still holding my hands, her other hand started climbing up my shirt pulling it over my head. It lay there tangling my arms, as she kissed my stomach, and sent her hands down my pants. My body was aching to touch her, I lay there captivated by her touch. Her mouth blowing air into my navel sent heavier breathes through my lungs, and I moaned. Her hand now in my pants caressed my wet outer, and inner lips, and reached my clit. I was still struggling to detach my hands from my shirt. Her fingers penetrated me, and I couldn't take it anymore I found a way out of the entrapment, and raised my body raising her as I sat up and kissed her melting lips. My tongue slid in and out of her mouth while my hand slid under her skirt and in her wet, and aching pussy. My fingers also penetrating her making her scream, and gasp for air. I laid her down and climbed on top. I began to nibble on her nipple from under her bra, and moved down as my hands removed her skirt, and dressing underneath. I began to indulge myself with her delicacies as she melted into my mouth, dripped down my chin. Her hands roamed my hair, and meeting every atom of her anatomy I felt complete.

As I finished I made my way back to her moist lips, and laid next to her, and she turned to me, and said "My name is Sarah." I smiled, and answered

"Rachael."

After that night I knew I couldn't be apart from her, but I couldn't be with her as well. If someone were to find out I am with a woman I will be shot. My family would be disgraced. I couldn't allow that to happen. But every class I kept seeing her, and my thighs would quiver in anticipation of deep penetration. Every night we would meet in the studio, and every night there would be sweating, panting, and makeup melting. I knew I was leading her on, but I couldn't resist her.

Gabriel, was speechless. His mouth had become dry from his jaw dropping, and not closing. Finally as he managed to bring his jaw back up, he uttered out "So you led her on forever?"

Rachael, saddened by his response said "I didn't know I would feel like this about a woman. I wasn't going to allow my feelings rip apart my mother's heart or threaten my life and family."

"So what did you do?"

"I started to act out. I began ignoring her, missing our meeting, and acting like I didn't give a damn about her. I was good at it too. She despised me, it hurt inside so much I thought I would die from such excruciating pain. She tried to break trough to me but I was a wall. I shut her out so hard that I even believed myself that she never happened.

Then one night as I was laying in my bed I heard my bell ring I ran downstairs making sure not to wake my mother to see who it was, and there she was standing in the pouring rain crying. You could see her vivid tears trough the rain. I walked out in the rain to bring her in but she refused. I yelled at her "What are you doing?" She looked at me with such despair. We stood there in the pouring rain waiting for one of us to say something. I knew I wasn't going to utter one word, and she kept silent as well, so I began to turn around, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me close.

"I LOVE YOU!" she said. I couldn't hear those words. Tough I've heard them before, it was different coming from her lips. It felt as tough that's where they were hiding all along.

"I cant be with you. I will have nothing if I be with you! NOTHING!. My family will abandon me, and they will be scared for life. I cant allow that to happen."

"You'll have me."

"That isn't enough for me." I saw her disappear in front of me. I looked at her, and wrapped my hand around hers which was still around my arm, I released her grip and turned around, and walked inside, without turning back. I closed the door, and collapsed to the floor with tears. I cried all night by that door because I just broke a heart that actually might have belonged to me. I knew she was gone for good by then.

I stopped going to class, because I wouldn't be able to handle seeing her. Months passed and before I knew it another season had arrived. I went about my life like nothing changed from before I met her. Then I saw her. I saw that goddess, as I was walking. She looked right through me, and walked past me. Seeing her again brought all our memories together back . In that one moment, that one sight of her my whole experience with her flashed before my eyes. I was so hurt by her action, but the saddest thing was that there was noone else to blame but me. I didn't want her to remember me the way she did, so I stood up all night debating weather or not I should go to her. I made up my mind to go.

Driving trough another rainy night to get to her, I was reciting in my head what I would say. I got there, and stood like she once did in the pouring rain waiting for her to answer the door. She did. She stepped out in the rain barefoot, without an emotion in her face. I had changed her. The sunlight in her face was gone, she was cold inside, and it was my fault.

I stood there waiting for the words I planned in my head on the ride over to come out, but nothing happened I was silent. All I did was look at her and then she spoke.

"Say it all, and say it right. You either got it or you don't. When your will is broken when it slips from your hand, you either stand or you fall. You don't mean nothing at all to me. You could've meant everything. I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault for it, because I am, I let you lead me on. All of what I felt is lost."

What she said hit me hard. I just stood there still waiting for the words I planned to come out of my mouth. Then finally I spoke.

"I love you." I said. I looked at her and I noticed she was crying. I could always see her tears, rain or shine. Her cold heart, was beating again.

"You don't know what love is. You never said it to anyone to know what it is."

" I know I love you, I never said it to anyone because it was meant for you to hear."

She tried to speak again but I interrupted her by reciting a song that fit my every feeling. So I looked at her and said

"'I'd give up forever to touch you cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now. All I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. Cause sooner or later its over I just don't want to miss you tonight. I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand. When every things meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am.' You cant fight the tears that are coming or the moment of truth in the lie you just told me. I bleed just to know im alive, to know what I felt for you was real. If that isn't love then what is? I LOVE YOU Sarah." I cupped her salty face, and kissed her.

We stood there crying together, and kissing each other. I kept kissing her face and saying "I knew I loved you since I first laid my eyes on you. Your all I need im sorry I didn't realize it sooner. Your all I need. You were always enough. Always."

I held her tight, as she grew weak from my words, and we sat there in the rain crying within each others arms.

We spent the night together. But, I couldn't sleep. I knew this was it for me, that she was all I wanted to be with, and all I need. I wasn't going to let her go away again. I starred at how she slept, at her innocence, and I just wanted to be her guardian. To stay with her always to protect her, to guide her, and cherish her. So I made up my mind to tell my parents.

The next day I sent her apartment hunting, telling her I had to handle some business and I would join her shortly. So I called up my mother, and my father to come together, and meet me in a park. They agreed, so we set a time. Before I met up with them, I had to stop somewhere important. I had to go visit my grandmother. I arrived at the cemetery, found her gravestone, and sat in front of it and I began to tell her everything. When I was done I kissed her gravestone, and I walked away knowing she had forgiven me for my choice, and was there to protect me. I felt safe, and ready to tell my parents. Just before I walked trough the park, I called Sarah, and told her I love her. I knew hearing her voice would calm me for the iceberg I was about to hit. I walked trough the park and spotted them sitting across from each other. I asked them to come together, and then I told them. I told them everything. All of a sudden I felt something. Something I've never felt before. Something I've always needed, and wanted to feel."

She was silent, and Gabriel waited for her to speak but she just sat there with a smile. He couldn't wait anymore so he screamed out.

"WHAT DID YOU FEEL?" She looked at him and said

"Freedom! I felt free. I was free. While my mother cried, my father sat there for a while taking in the last breathe he could until he..he.." She stopped. "Gabriel, that's how I died isn't it? My father killed me? Didn't he?"

Gabriel touched her face and said "Yes, he hit you with his fist, but it touched your temple.."

She touched her right temple and twitched with the pain, and let out a silent laugh

"I feel it" She said as she giggled.

Gabriel was surprised at her reaction. "Your not angry?" he asked.

"No. I rather have died experiencing love, then have died without it in another way."

"I love you" he said.

She just smiled and said "Thank you."

"Thank you." he said

"For what?"

"By letting me experience love, trough your voice, and your eyes."

She laughed. "Just repay it by doing me a favor."

"What's your request?"

"Make sure Sarah is happy for the rest of her life, and has a family she's always wanted. That's all I want."

"You can help with that."

Her face lit up, with that realization that she will be what she always wanted to be. Sarah's Guardian.