Due to a complaint from one of my darling readers, I have removed the song lyrics from my previously written story. I still have the original copy, but I feel that it can still be read without. But I do still recommend that you read this story to the song. After all it is one of my most favorite songs! The singer is fabulous!
OOOH look at you! Aren't you lucky? Another story from me? yeah you know it. This is just a little song fic based on sleeptheif- dust & clouds. I heard it and I thought of Merlin straight away. This is just a little idea. So here you go.
Future!fic
Oh I have waited at these gates for far too long.
It has been thousands of years since I last saw his face, heard his voice, felt his touch. I walk by the lake of Avalon everyday just in hope that he will rise once more, just like the great dragon said. But every year, every month, day, minute, I lose more and more hope. I start to feel like I am destined to roam this world forever. Alone. Every day I wait at the gates of Avalon, waiting for his return, waiting for the day that Albion's needs are once more. It has been so long and I feel I am growing older, though on the outside I am still the same. The same except my eyes. The same eyes which used to smile and gleam when he was happy and cry tears when I was sad. The eyes that I have now are not the same. They show not the emotions that I hold, only the pain that I have seen.
I know Arthur is never coming back, but what can I do but wait?
I was always there for him. Always at his side, protecting him and the world that we wished to build. The world he never got to see. Where ever he is now, I hope he sees me, sees what pain that he left behind when he left. He left a cloud of dust that I was left to breath in. And I breathed it in until my lungs hurt. I still wait here for him, even now, in this new world.
Killgharrah always told me that me and him were like two sides of the same coin. We were two joined together to form a whole. Each lacking in something that the other could provide for them. But how can one half become a whole when the other half is gone? When he left me alone, I was so alone, more than any other. I wasn't just alone. I was incomplete.
I waited everyday for him to return, but the silence is all that came. The silence that should have been filed with his boyish laugh and childish banter. But nothing. My other half is missing and it is ripping me apart. I am not only lost from everybody else, I am lost from myself and it scares me.
I cannot blame him for all that happened, after all it was my fault. No one can take the blame but myself. It was me who pushed others, lied to others, killed others. My whole existence was just lies and deceit. I cannot blame others for my life and the mistakes that I have made. The guilt is there to punish me for what I have caused to others. I have never been whole since then and I doubt that I will ever be whole again.
All I am now is an empty shell, left to wait for him to come back to the light. I only wish that he could hear me now. Calling out to him from the cloud of dust he left behind. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that every time I feel the end nearing, the voice that brings me back to the light is his. He tells me that I need to stay. For him. I am older than I have any right to be. I lived to watch my friends die and Camelot fall. I have seen civilizations grow and fall and it hurts. I only want to join him again, but I cannot as the gates are locked and I cannot pass.