Darkness. That's all he could see. Darkness. Floating in nothing. Cold. So cold. Was he back in his shed? He tried twisting around. Pain. Oh, Pain. It hurt. He tried screaming. He called for help.
But nobody came.
"Edward?" A voice called. It was familiar.
He tried to move. More pain. Too much pain. Too much. He called for help.
Then he saw light. He reached for it. Blinding white light. Pain.
Edward screamed. James looked around, and saw that Edward was straining against the straps across his arms and legs. It hurt so much to see Edward restrained like this, but it was for the better. He looked attentively at the heart monitor, and saw Edward's heart rate go up to normal. The nurses didn't come in, so this must be normal.
"James?" A raspy voice asked, and James turned on heel to find Edward had one eye opened.
"Oh, James. What have they got me in? I can't move."
"You sure as hell won't be." He said, kneeling down by the ICU bed. He was sure that his tears were dripping onto the linen sheets. But he didn't care. "I thought you were….gone."
"Gone? Why should I be?"
"You know."
Edward's face fell. The scratches and scrapes on his cheek made James want to brush it. He did.
"What are you doing?"
"I don't know." James took a breath. "Don't do anything stupid, anymore. I don't know what I'd do without...without…"
"Me?"
James nodded. He laid his head on the other's lap, finding comfort in this contact. Edward almost losing his life was too much, let alone that Edward himself tried to do that.
"I promise." James knew Edward would do his best, but total cut off from self-harm was a long ways away. He had problems, sure, but James couldn't bear it to when he saw blood running down his arms or how he had to force Edward to take his anti-depressants. Now James had to help him out of the hole he had made. It hurt too much to see.
"Edward, the nurses told me when you were acting in rational behaviour, I could undo your restraining straps. Do you want that?"
Edward contemplated this. With James there, he couldn't get away with anything, so he agreed. As James undid the soft leather-ish straps, he stretched his arms, then fingers. It was a relief, but James was standing over him now, probably making sure that he didn't do anything.
Edward sat up, the muscles in his back screaming. He let out a short gasp, and James went to catch him before he fell back on the pillow. James' face was only a couple inches away, and he could hardly restrain himself from doing…..no. He couldn't. James would reject him. But he did it anyway.
And he pulled away, staring it James' amber eyes. James laughed.
"Come here, you big romantic."