Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi.
But I do own the puke that came out of me when Eli and Imogen kissed tonight. Tmi...
Her hand gripped his in an unbreakable hold. It made him feel slightly uncomfortable and he was sweating profusely, which he often did when he felt under pressure. His breath climbed its way out of his throat with difficulty and he tried to make the air come out without any pushing, but as more time passed, the more the air stayed trapped in his body.
"I heard that they have good steak at the restaurant, Elijah Goldsworthy." The girl piped up and Eli nodded weakly, keeping his eyes on the road. She squeezed his hand even tighter than before, and he tried to take it back, but she held on even tighter.
"You've come here before, right?" Imogen asked, trying to make conversation with the silent boy.
"A couple of times," The boy muttered, his heart trying to remind him of the last time he was there. Brief images of her anxious face came up from the pits of his cluttered mind. And her words. And Eli couldn't help but realize that that should have been their clue to stop everything while they were ahead. While they were still whole, "Just a couple of times. Nothing important." He cleared his throat, and the images of the girl drained down his throat and down his veins and through his mind and then made its way into his heart; where the memories of her lived.
"Right," Imogen nodded and looked up at him, observing his expression, "What memories of Clare Edwards do you have there?" She asked quietly, her voice hushed.
Eli bit his lip, and drove faster at the sound of her name, "You know, not everywhere I go is related to Clare." Eli reminded her, his tone sharp and quick.
"It is when you get that look in your eyes," Imogen said, whispering. She looked directly at him, her eyes narrow, "Your eyes are how I know you're thinking about her. When your soul is placed chaotically on your pupil. And then when you squint your eyes like you're staring at the sun, but really, you're thinking about her light that only you can see," Her voice was so low right now that Eli could barely hear her, "But I really know when you're thinking about her when you tap your feet to the beat of her heart."
"You should really think about writing drama," Eli teased, trying to ease the tension and pain from the air, "With those words on paper, you'll be a star."
"Maybe," Imogen shrugged and looked out the window, "But most writing is based on truth. And you can't deny anything that I said, Elijah Goldsworthy."
"And how do you know that?" Eli snapped, angry that she was so right. Angry that she saw right through him. Angry that she saw that he was in love with a girl that was no longer his.
"Because I do the same when I look at you."
And they swerved into the parking lot of the restaurant, and Eli knew that he wasn't ready for the night.
.
.
.
She watched his lips move and she wanted more than anything to feel his skin on hers. His lips were small and thin, but they were pink and soft. And they certainly stopped the monster that roared inside of her every time he showed skin.
"Do I have something on my lips?" The boy asked teasingly, knowing how he affected the girl.
Clare's eyes widened and her mouth formed into an oval, "Um. No. ...You don't...I...was-was just looking at you...because...well..."
"No need to explain, Clare." Jake chuckled and looked up in excitement. Clare followed his gaze and watched as K.C Guthrie brought their food over. She tried not to think about how awkward it was. Here she was, with her old boyfriend and her new one. But K.C placed their food on their table and tipped his hat down, and he walked away; his cowboy boots clanking with every step he took.
A loud noise was heard from across the table, and Clare looked at Jake in shock. He was already chewing his chicken with greed. He was bent over his plate and he shoveled the food into his mouth, barely stopping for a breath. Clare watched him for awhile before picking up her fork and knife.
"The food here is nice." Clare commented as she chewed her steak. She glanced up at Jake for a response, but he merely grunted and shoveled more food into his already full mouth.
"How is the chicken, Jake?" She tried again, noticing that he looked up at this question.
"It's fantastic!" Jake said enthusiastically, swallowing the last bits of chicken in his mouth. He cleared his throat and took a sip of the water in front of him, "How's...how is your steak?"
"It's good." Clare murmured, unable to think of anything else to say. Usually, when they were together, they were horizontal and their clothes were lost on the ground. But now, they didn't have the option of having a passionate make out session. And Clare was pretty sure that people wouldn't like them doing that there. Now, it was time to find out whether they had anything in common, and Clare set down her fork.
"Do you like Palahniuk?" Her voice was bright in a forced way and Jake looked up, chewing.
"Sounds dirty," Jake said between chews, "Is it, like, a type of food...or um...sexual thing?"
"He's an author."
"Oh...right. Well, I don't really read, to be honest." Jake shrugged and didn't notice that Clare's shoulders slumped with disappointment.
Clare looked around and tried not to look deeper into the date. But so far, the feelings that she had first felt with him were slowly going down the drain as she realized that they had nothing in common. She bit her lip and ignored the blood that she tasted and ignored the way Jake eyed her steak. She wanted to run out and go home and go back to being a little girl who didn't even know the definition of sex. She missed the days of the vibrator and when kissing was the dirtiest thing on her mind.
"Are you going to eat your steak?"
Clare shook her head no at Jake's question and pushed it towards him as she stared into space.
More than anything, she wanted to go home and think about the green-eyed boy who was stuck in her mind.
.
.
.
"...What is that?"
"I call it the Imogen- surprise!"
"I'm actually fearing for my life right now, if I'm being honest."
Imogen clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes, pushing the plate over to him. It was a Panini with chicken, gravy, and French fries, which to Eli, looked extremely unappealing. But Imogen promised that it was heaven in a sandwich.
"It tastes like shit." Eli commented after taking a bite, and he swallowed it down with water. His lips were pursed from the taste and Imogen giggled.
"It tastes like good shit!" Imogen insisted, pushing the plate back over to him, "Try it again!" But when Eli shook his head with fervor, she sighed and took a bite out of it, smiling from its good taste.
"Hey, um, after this...there's this really cool place that I know about. It's this old abandoned church in the middle of the woods and it's beautiful. ...Would you like to go?" Eli asked shyly, trying not to think about the last time that he was there. With the gun and the picture and the broken glass...
Imogen shrugged, uninterested, "I'm not really an outdoorsy type of gal." She admitted, shaking her head no. And she didn't notice the boy shrink down with sadness.
"Maybe some other time." Eli suggested softly, though he knew that they'd never go together. He'd just have to find something that she liked to do. But when he was about to ask her about her hobbies, her eyes snapped up and looked at him intensely.
"Don't look now, but Clare Edwards is over there." Imogen muttered, her mouth full of her sandwich. And of course, Eli turned around and his eyes settled on the blue-eyed girl. He watched as she stared up in space and how her date ignored her and focused on his food.
Eli looked at the girl with longing. Her red sweater clung to her body, accenting her curves. And he could see the glow of her eyes as they traveled around the room. He wanted to feel her lips on his, and he was angry with himself, because he thought that he was finally over her. But the more he looked at her, the more he knew how in love he was with the beautiful girl.
"You weren't supposed to look at her." Imogen whispered, trying to get the boy to turn away from the other girl.
"Well, sorry." Eli muttered, still turned around staring at the girl. He couldn't turn his eyes away from her. He knew that she'd want to go to the church with him. He knew that she'd run around the church, with her arms spread out and her smile wide with a happiness that often made his head spin.
Suddenly, Eli heard a chair screech across the wooden floor, the sound making him wince and his ears sting. And when he turned around, Imogen was close to him and holding out her hand. She motioned for him to stand up.
"Come on."
"What…what are we doing?" Eli asked, his voice shaking.
"Well, I'm doing something that I should have done long ago. I've come to the conclusion that nothing I do will make you love me." Imogen muttered, her grip on his hand growing tighter and tighter with every step.
Imogen pulled him with more force, and she led him throughout the restaurant. Eli watched her with confusion but continued to follow, keeping his eyes on the ground. Imogen squeezed his hand again, but this time, it was with comfort. And Eli realized why when he found himself standing in front of Clare Edwards.
"Hello, Clare Edwards. Hello, Jake Martin."
.
.
.
She sat on one side and Eli sat on the other. They were silent and they both looked at their hands as if they were the most interesting objects in the world. Every once in a while, Eli would clear his throat uncomfortably. He was sweating again and his heart was beating fast because even though his eyes were down, she was still shining like the sun. And he realized how accurate Imogen was. He was squinting from her light.
"Imogen sure does know how to take charge." Clare offered, her tone light and forced.
"Yeah. I think that Jake is scared of her." Eli joked, referring to Jake's horrified face when Imogen grabbed his hand and forced him to take her home. She told him that Clare and Eli had to talk, and she pulled him outside, guiding him.
Once again, silence fell over the two. But, this time, they stared at each other. Blue met green in a clash of emotion. Their feelings pulsed with every moment and they felt every thought float out of their heads into the air.
"She really liked you, you know." Clare muttered, her eyes directed at the table. She avoided his eyes.
"I know," Eli admitted, "And I feel bad, but...I can't help what I feel...or don't feel. But, uh, what about Jake? What's...happening there?" Eli asked, but from his tone, it was clear that he didn't want to know.
"We're...nothing. We're just attracted to each other. Just simple hormones." Clare explained. not really interested in talking about her sexual needs with her ex-boyfriend.
But Eli laughed and shook his head in amusement, "Saint Clare has hormones? What?"
Clare giggled and nodded, her teeth digging into her soft lip, "So, um, what do we do now? Our dates ditched us."
Eli chuckled and his eyes suddenly lit up. "Do you want to go to the old church with me?" Eli blurted out without thinking. But he relaxed when Clare smiled brightly.
"Would...you like to read Palahniuk?" Clare asked, her voice excited and high-pitched.
"Of course, Edwards. What's a trip to a church without a little Palahniuk?"
Clare giggled and stood up, her smile wide and goofy. She shyly walked towards him, her arm reaching out. Eli thought that she was grabbing for his hand, but her arm slid across his waist and pulled him closer so that their sides were touching. Eli smiled down at her and took in the scent of her lavender perfume. It was sweet and it made him shiver.
They didn't speak as they walked across the parking lot and as they strode to Eli's car. In fact, they didn't know what to say. They were just content with the feel of each other. And the warmth and the feel of their flesh touching. They didn't know how to express their time apart. Eli didn't know how to say that he was slowly getting better. Clare didn't know how to apologize. But, in their minds, it wasn't time to talk about that. The night was young and they had been without each other for so long.
"For what it's worth," Eli said, opening up the door for Clare, "I still love you."
Before Clare slid into the car, she leaned up on her tip-toes and placed a kiss on Eli's cheek. She slid back down and before he could close the door, she spoke up.
"Oh, and, Eli?" He opened the door wider, a smirk placed on his plump lips, "It's worth a lot."
And with a smile, he closed the door and with that slam, they started a night filled with Palahniuk and churches.
I threw the ending together, so I'm sorry that it doesn't seem well written.
Review, please?