I wrote this for a one-shot contest a few months back as a spur of the moment thing. I figured I would post it to tide you guys over while waiting for the next chapter to WHTM! I hope you enjoy it. :]

There's some parts of me in this, things that I've felt myself, so it's a little personal. Not the overall story, but things that Bella feels have definitely come from my experiences this past year. Enjoy!

I never thought my life would turn out the way it would be when I met him. Meeting in our mutual friend's room turned out to be one of the best – and worst – experiences I ever could've asked for. I don't know if it was fate, if it was a gift from God, or if it was just a random coincidence. Either way, my life was never the same.

The next few weeks passed by with flirtatious texts, coffee dates, and walks on campus. He hadn't properly asked me on a date, or to be his girlfriend, for that matter, but at that point, I was so smitten with him, I couldn't even bring myself to care. I was happy with whatever I could get from him. He was every girl's dream guy – smart, funny, sweet, a gentleman, and one of the best looking guys in existence. I couldn't look at him the first few days we met. He made my stomach flip over and over just with a look and made the blush rise to my cheeks. His reddish-gold hair set my heart on fire, and his violently green eyes pierced my soul and made me feel naked and bare. The voice that exited his perfectly pouty lips wrapped around me and made me feel safe no matter the situation. He put the part of me that was nervous around guys completely at ease. I could be around him, as well as his friends, Emmett and Jasper, by myself. In high school, that was unheard of. I found myself thanking our friend, Alice, over and over again for introducing us.

"What are your plans for this weekend?" I asked him light heartedly one Wednesday as we were sitting in the coffee shop on our campus, swirling the mini straw in my steaming caramel cappuccino. Fall was starting to roll in, bringing chilly temperatures and biting wind. We took refuge on our walk in one of our favorite places at the school. I looked up at him through my eyelashes and he stared at me, just holding his cup. "Is something wrong with your hot chocolate?"

"What? Oh, no. Nothing's wrong. Sorry. I was somewhere else. What'd you ask?"

"What're you doing this weekend?" The corners of his mouth lifted in a small smile.

"Someone from home is coming to stay and visit."

"Oh, a friend? Or family?"

"A friend… kind of," he said reluctantly. He blew on his hot chocolate and swirled it around.

"Have you told me about him?" I asked, eager to learn more about his friends and life from his home.

"No, I haven't. Her name is Tanya," he told me, not looking at my face. He didn't look anywhere near me, actually. My heart almost stopped for a second at the mention of a girl friend that I wasn't aware of, but I told it to calm down. Just because he had a friend who was a girl didn't mean she was his girlfriend or that they had dated. She could be a lesbian for all I knew.

"Tanya, huh? Tell me about her!" I said with a smile on my face, trying to appear like a friend who was wanting to hear about her.

"She's my ex-slash-semi girlfriend," he said quietly. My heart stopped for several seconds that time. Girlfriend. That one word brought my world down.

"Girlfriend?" I asked even quieter than he had previously talked.

"Yeah… we started talking again before I came here. I dated her for two years in high school. We broke up my senior year when she moved away. She's thinking about coming here, though, so she's coming to check out the school."

"Oh, well, that's cool, I guess. What's she like?"

"She's… nothing like you, for one." My heart sank. Had I imagined the flirty tones to our texts? Were our outings not 'dates'? I knew that I shouldn't have assumed, especially since he didn't ever ask me to be his girlfriend, but I could've sworn he would soon. Alice had even asked me earlier that day if we were official yet. I told her now, but she told me it would happen soon enough. If this Tanya girl was his semi-girlfriend and nothing like me, did that mean that he wasn't interested in someone like me? I shook my head at myself. Of course he wasn't. I was a shy, innocent, naïve girl who was mousy and quiet. The girl I pictured for Edward was perfect, almost like our other friend, Rosalie. Tall, curvy, and stunningly beautiful – that was the kind of girl that Edward should be with. "She's much more shallow and high maintenance than you are."

My heart sank even more. When guys said that girls were shallow and high maintenance, it really meant that they were obscenely gorgeous. I knew that would be the type of girl he'd be with.

"She doesn't talk about real things, like we do. All she's interested in is fashion, celebrity gossip, and TV. Tanya doesn't care about books or values."

"Then why would you date her?" I blurted out before the words could process in my brain. He stared at me in surprise and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. They were on fire, no doubt. "Sorry, sorry."

"No, it's fine, Bella. I guess she's just… safe. I've known her my entire life. I know her through and through, everything about her. Like I said, she's safe."

"You want safe?" He looked at me intensely for a few seconds that seemed like minutes.

"I don't know what I want." My eyes dropped to my drink. I felt the tears welling up and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I had to get out of there – fast. I texted Alice with a simple 'S.O.S.' hoping she would call me and tell me there was an emergency. There was a God. She called me quickly after the text was sent.

"Hello?" I said into the phone, looking away from Edward. I held up a finger to tell him to hold on and he nodded quietly while pursing his lips.

"Bella! I need your help. I'm having a major crisis right now."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Alice. What's wrong?"

"I'm having computer problems. It won't let me upload a test to my teacher's site, and it's due in a half hour. Please come here and help me."

"Yeah, of course. I'll be right there." I hung up the phone and stood up quickly. "I'm so sorry, Edward. Alice is having troubles, if you didn't hear. I have to go help her. I'll see you later!" I walked away quickly without even hearing his response. I walked to her room in the cold weather clutching my cappuccino like it was my lifeline. When I got to her room, she let me cry on her shoulder without asking for an explanation. This was the type of friend was didn't have in high school. Someone who was just there, no matter what.

The weekend was one of the hardest of my life, right after leaving my dad for college. Tanya was everything I had imagined, and more. She was more than gorgeous. She was a model with long, thick strawberry blonde hair, flawless complexion, bright blue eyes, and a body to kill for. Her clothes were perfect, as was her makeup. I stood no chance to her. Looking at Edward and Tanya side-by-side, it was clear that they should've been together. The worst part? She was one of the nicest people I had ever talked to. The worst part after that fact was found out? She loved our college and was going to transfer here for second semester. She was infiltrating the bubble that surrounded Edward and me. They would soon be together and I would be on the sidelines. I would learn to be happy with it though. Whatever friendship I could get from Edward would be enough for me. As Tanya left for home, she grabbed me for a tight hug and told me to go for him. I looked at her in surprise and she winked at me.

"I see you looking at that boy and I see the way he looks at you. You clearly don't, especially seeing as how you didn't make eye contact with him."

"You can't be serious. He's the one who told me that you were his quote 'ex-slash-semi girlfriend.'"

"He did, did he?" she asked as she looked over my shoulder and narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't listen to him. We thought we were going to date before he came here. He's talked of nothing but you to me for the past week and a half. He's crazy about you right now, and you've got him wrapped around your finger. I didn't tell you, though. You make him nervous, and he's never experienced that before." Edward came up to us at this point, interrupting our conversation.

"I suppose you have to go, Tanya. You've got a long drive back home. Call me when you get there, alright?" he said as he pulled her into a hug. Then he did the last thing that could shatter my heart. He kissed her. It was just a peck on the lips, but it was enough for me. I didn't look at either him or her before I walked away.

"I have to go, I'm sorry," I mumbled to Alice and Rosalie as I passed them. I caught their sympathetic looks. I walked back to the dorm alone.

The temperatures dropped even more that night, actually allowing a light layer of snow to coat the cars and ground. I walked out to my car that afternoon intending to make a run to Target. I had become sick and was in dire need of some medicine, as well as Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. I dug into my purse for my keys as I approached my little car. When I looked up, I stopped dead in my tracks, almost causing me to slip on the sidewalk, despite wearing my winter boots. There, in the light dusting of snow on my windshield, stood three words. We should talk. There was only one person it could be from. That person happened to be sitting on the concrete by my driver's side door with his head on his knees. As much as I wanted to avoid him, I couldn't let the poor boy freeze to death.

"Edward?" I said as I shook him. He lifted his head and his gaze met mine. He smiled grimly.

"It's about time you got here. I've been sitting here for hours."

"Come on, let's go," I said as I pulled him up. I dragged him to the passenger side of my car and set him in. Running to my side, I was surprised that he wasn't blue. It was freezing out today, and he wasn't in much more than jeans and a hoodie. I turned the car on and blasted the heater as we drove around. He had his hands in front of the vents and I had mine blowing toward him as much as possible. We drove in silence until he broke it as we pulled into the parking lot of Target.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"About what? There's nothing to talk about," I replied coolly as I searched for a parking lot close to the entrance.

"That's bullshit and you know it. You haven't talked to me since Wednesday. You can't even look at me right now."

"I'm driving and looking for a parking lot. Of course I can't look at you."

"Bella. You know what I mean. You can't stand the sight of me. Why?" he asked in a pained voice. I glanced at him and regretted it. He looked terrible, if it was possible. His eyes had dark rings under them, and his face was an unshaven, scruffy mess.

"Well, I mean, look at you," I joked, trying to lighten the situation.

"Bella," he pleaded.

"I can stand the sight of you, Edward. It's just… hard to do right now," I whispered. Pulling into a parking spot was probably one of the worst moves I could do at that point, but I was not about to give up a first row spot. I turned the car off and unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Why?"

"Because you… just because," I said as I exited the car. He got out right after me and rushed to my side. He stood in front of me, trapping me in between the car and himself. I couldn't move.

"That's a lazy answer and you know it. Please talk to me."

"My heart splintered when you told me about Tanya. Okay? Are you satisfied with that answer? It cracked when you called her your semi girlfriend. It broke when you said you didn't know what you wanted. But yesterday? Yesterday, it shattered after you kissed her. I don't need to go through any attachment so quickly, especially if it is you."

"What do you mean 'especially if it is you?'"

"You're wanted by every woman that sees you. One of these days, you're bound to find one of those women, whether it be a complete stranger, or someone you already know, like Tanya, to be someone you want to date. It'll hurt less when I'm not attached to you."

"What about me? What if you dated someone?"

"You'd still be my friend, right? You wouldn't just stop being my friend if I dated someone."

"So my heart's allowed to be shattered?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Bella, you've shattered my heart since Friday when Tanya got here. We need to talk because I need to tell you what this weekend did for me." I looked up into his eyes because there was nowhere else to look. "I don't want to be with anybody else. I just want you. I want you, and only you." He leaned down and capture my lips in a soft kiss. I whimpered when he pulled away. His forehead rested on mine, his lips only centimeters from mine. "Say yes."

"Yes, of course," I whispered before leaning in to his lips. He said the cold he got from me was worth it. As I look into the mirror in my dressing room, trying on my wedding dress, I know he was right.

'