A/N: Written because of my unending love for Vivi. More mutations! Huzzah!
Warning: Major spoilers for the ending and game of FFIX (though I haven't played it in a while so there may be some mistakes), and for KH if you know where to look. Also, I've never played FFVIII, so I apologize if the characters from it are OOC. No pairings unless you want to see them there.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, which is a shame. Square Enix makes lots of money.
He had never been an outspoken person. Some would argue that he had never been a person at all.
"Freak! Mutant!"
Vivi himself wished that others would just leave him be if they had no real business with him and adjusted the rim of his ragged hat a bit lower.
"It's alright, Vivi. It will take time, but their minds will change." Garnet had squatted down to hold his hand, and it comforted him. Outside, he could hear the sound of clanking armor and Steiner's yells as he ran after the taunters in an attempt to chase them back out the castle gates. A picture of the stout knight brandishing his sword rather dangerously popped into Vivi's head, and he shuffled his feet nervously.
Since Queen Garnet's official ascension to the throne, Vivi knew that the resentment towards him and the other Black Mages had been lessening, but had not vanished completely. He doubted it ever would, and he couldn't blame them. The battles Kuja had manipulated with the Black Mages had all left their scars.
"It's not their fault."
Garnet frowned. "That does not give them the excuse to act the way they do. It's as if my entire court has turned into a child's playroom." She clucked her tongue in disapproval. "And I do not try to solve these problems simply because it is my duty as queen, Vivi. You are my friend. Our friend." She gave him a smile. "I'm sure Eiko and the others would agree."
If he could have, Vivi would have blushed. But since he couldn't, he settled for ducking beneath the rim of his hat once again.
Grandpa had once told him the saying, "You never know what you have until it's gone". Vivi didn't think that was true. He was afraid, always afraid, that everything he finally held cherished in his hands would be snatched away in a single instant, never to be returned.
Like his grandpa, like the others that had 'stopped' in the Black Mage village.
He was not frightened that he himself might die one day, because he knew for certain that it would happen eventually – it did to everyone, everything that lived and breathed. If he left early, didn't get a chance to say goodbye, then there was nothing he could do about it and he accepted it. It brought him peace of mind.
It never occurred to him that others would leave before him, and it made Vivi wish he had been the one taken away.
He remembered Beatrix's yells, trying to regain some sense of order as the armies were scattered, panicking. He had seen Steiner swipe and stab, over and over again, never allowing a single monster to get near Queen Garnet.
It was when Garnet herself had wielded her rod, which she had not used for nearly a year, that he knew something was wrong. Even though he was struggling with everything he had, firing fireball after fireball from the tip of his staff, the dark little creatures with the glowing eyes – and they're so much like him and he can tell that it's not just in appearance – had kept coming.
Bahamut faded away, his strength no more, as he was lost to those deceptively sharp claws, and Garnet cried out in pain.
Vivi heard screams that the Outer Continents had been taken. Amarant, gone.
Soldiers were dying, morale slipping away, and he saw heart shaped crystals float into the air as the darkness took their corpses, only to be snatched away by twisted creatures from the shadows.
The Qu Swamp was no more. Quina, gone.
Vivi swung his staff, willing Steiner's sword to become stronger and defeat the enemies who threatened his beloved home.
Burmecia had fallen. Freya and Fratley, gone.
He saw Alexander fire one final burst of energy, knocking out thousands of monsters before feeling the ground beneath him shake as the giant summon crashed to the ground.
Lindblum had been destroyed. Regent Cid, Hilda, Eiko…all gone.
And they just kept coming.
He was too distracted to register what happened to the Iifa tree. But when he glanced at Garnet, just after firing a sheet of ice, he saw her face, covered in tears, glistening her cheeks. Grieving. Losing. And he knew what pained her, what stabbed through her heart.
Even though he promised.
Because he felt it, too.
He threw every last drop of magic he had into his strongest incantation. Two combined shots of lightning took another unit of the twitching monsters, only to be replaced by twice as many.
He was worn out and his hands were shaking, and finally felt his staff slip from his fingers. He fell to his knees.
Vivi saw Beatrix drown in a sea of black, gasping, kicking, but never breaking free. Vivi heard Steiner roar in agony, because of a direct hit or because his beloved was gone, he did not know. Vivi felt his nonexistent heart break when he saw Queen Garnet til Alexandrios XIX fall, a name on her lips, and then the shadows swallowed her.
He was alone.
It engulfed everything. Hungry, overflowing, never stopping. He couldn't get away.
The darkness had taken everything. But if it might take him, then he was not afraid.
A canary. A dagger. And then there was nothing.
Lost, forever.
"Hey, you. What're you doin' in my town?"
Vivi didn't know. On the contrary, he didn't really think that sitting on a ledge and staring out at the town from a rooftop qualified as 'doing' anything. He didn't really want to be here, anyway.
He wanted to go home.
"Seifer asked a question, so you'd better answer, y'know?"
"Reply."
'Disciplinary committee'. That was the term he'd heard. A trio of companions who went around town flaunting their strength and helping others only if they felt like it.
At least, that was what he'd heard the blond-haired boy say to a group of his friends as they bought ice cream. The lady who ran the items shop had later told Vivi over a purchase of ether that even though they had a bad reputation among the town, the three had done quite a bit of community service – "Although heaven only knows they complained about it every step of the way!" – and the crime rate in Twilight Town had dropped significantly since they had formed a group. Apparently, the rumor concerning their strength was not a lie.
"…Thinking, I guess."
Seifer glared at him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? What about?"
The past. Memories. Life. The lives he couldn't save. The precious things he'd waited for but never got to see. How he couldn't do a single thing to help that day.
"…How I want to get stronger."
Rai snorted his disbelief. "Pshaw, that's easy!"
Vivi gazed up at the tall, tanned man, wondering how he managed to make himself appear so huge. "Really?"
"Seifer here is the strongest guy in town, y'know? All you gotta do is train under him and you'll be fightin' out brawls in no time!"
Seifer appraised Vivi, scanning his small form up and down, then shook his head pityingly. "Forget it, Rai. I don't take weaklings. They'd crack on the first day."
"Pathetic," Fuu agreed. Rai looked slightly deflated.
Vivi supposed this was true. Magic was much more difficult to channel in this strange world he was in – it was like it didn't even exist. And even when he had been able to control things like the elements before, it had been less than worthless for all the good it had done him.
But then, wasn't his worth exactly what he was trying to change?
He saw Seifer turn to leave and jumped to his feet, his hat nearly whipped off his head in his haste. "Wait!"
The young man paused but did not turn around. "I told you I'm not gonna train you, shrimp."
"I don't care," Vivi said. "You don't have to train me." This was not the man who he wished to learn from, the man who had already taught him so many things in another world, another journey. That man had made a promise that he would return, so he would believe him and wait.
Vivi saw Seifer's shoulders tense ever so slightly, and knew his statement had caught him off guard. "Huh. Then what do you want?"
"I want to watch you," Vivi said. "I want to see how you fight, and learn from you. I'll work out how get stronger on my own." He would learn how to protect what he loved on his own.
When Seifer turned back to face him, Vivi was surprised at the condemning look in his eyes. "So what's the joke?"
This puzzled Vivi. Joke? "Er, I don't think understand –"
"Don't lie. No one ever asks us for help. We're alone here." He clenched his fists, and his tone was bitter. "It pisses me off, how people keep trying to poke their noses where they aren't wanted. Those three dweebs probably asked you to spy on us with ice cream as payment or something."
Now he was really confused. Seifer's voice was angry – at him, if he understood correctly – but there was touch of loneliness in his voice that Vivi recognized.
Alone.
Vivi felt a twinge of familiarity that he chose to ignore. The disciplinary committee didn't want pity, he was sure, but there was a need to seek and understand that hadn't been there before.
It was strange. If Vivi looked closer, they weren't nearly as intimidating as he had been made to believe.
There was also another matter that caught his interest, perhaps one that could breach the tension that had swept over their group.
"You can pay someone in ice cream?" It had been hard enough getting used to the different munny system here, but he had not once heard anyone mention that ice cream could be used as change. He hoped he hadn't missed anything important.
Three pairs of eyes stared at him in disbelief as the seconds ticked by. Vivi fidgeted with his hat nervously, wondering if he had said something wrong.
"Idiot," Fuu said. She sounded almost exasperated.
"Ice cream isn't munny, dork. Even I know that, y'know?" Rai puffed out his chest proudly.
"It isn't?"
"Look," Seifer interrupted, seeming to have lost some of his earlier anger, "as long as you're not friends with those lamers, that's fine. But my permission doesn't come cheap, shrimp. If you're gonna stick with us, you're sticking with us as our lackey. Got it?"
Vivi wasn't really sure he knew what a 'lackey' was, but he agreed anyway.
'Those lamers', as Vivi soon came to understand, was Seifer-speak for Hayner, Pence, and Olette – or, more precisely, the trio who had been buying ice cream as he waited in line to buy ethers. From what he gathered on town gossip and talks with the shopkeepers, they were generally friendly and not nearly as violent as Seifer's gang tended to be – at least, Pence and Olette were.
"There's bad blood between those two boys," the synthesis shop moogle had told Vivi over a purchase. "Being the leaders, and all. Hayner's had problems with Seifer since he came here, and I guess Seifer just thinks he's annoying. Hayner keeps starting fights with him, but he always comes back bruised."
Eventually, after hearing several accounts, Vivi decided that the word that fit Hayner best was 'territorial', a word he had learned from Fuu; even though she only spoke in monotone, one-word sentences, she had a surprisingly complex vocabulary. Just once, he struck up the courage to ask her why, only to be shot down with a glare. Rai, having observed the exchange and taken pity on him, admitted that she had a strange hobby of collecting and memorizing dictionaries.
"I dunno why. S'not like there's anything interesting in those things, y'know?" he had chuckled.
Not for the first time, Vivi wondered if it was worth the risk to ask Fuu exactly what she thought of her companions. Not for the first time, he decided it wasn't.
Vivi didn't question the situation any further, and instead did his best to act as Seifer wanted and avoided the other gang of friends as much as possible. In the meantime, he was sent to buy potions, look out for jobs, take out the trash, and when they ran out of chores for him to do, return to his spot on the ledge at the end of the day to view the sunset on the horizon.
True to his word, Seifer did not directly show him how to fight, but instead ignored him whenever Vivi came to the Back Alley and sat on a box, watching as he trained. Sometimes, if he was lucky, Fuu or Rai would join Seifer to practice. On the extremely rare session, both.
His own training went slowly. Vivi had lost his staff when the darkness had swallowed him that day, and he had no qualms about not being able to use it. The problem, however, was that he lacked any sort of weapon to practice with. He knew that Seifer used an official struggle club, but Vivi had no intention of asking where he got it, especially since he knew he wasn't going to get an answer anyway. Fuu and Rai fought hand-to-hand, which didn't help him either; his own fists were small and weak, and he was clumsy on his feet. When he went to consult the shopkeeper of the weapons store, Vivi had felt slightly insulted after the man had laughed in his face, then – realizing he was being serious – strictly forbade him to buy or touch anything.
"For safety matters, you understand," the man had said.
In the end, Vivi practiced with a stick, forcing himself to imagine that it was a struggle club. On good days, he pretended it was a sword, and on even better days, he envisioned himself swinging a giant dagger.
Sometimes during practice, he felt aching pains in his chest, where his heart might have been. Other days it spread to his head. The condition had been affecting him ever since he came to Twilight Town. He didn't know why, and he discussed it with no one, instead drinking potions and hoping it would pass on its own. Despite his efforts, the pain kept returning, and the lingering emptiness in his chest grew a little heavier with every passing day. Still, he kept it to himself – it wasn't like there was anyone he could bring it up to, and it always seemed to slip his mind whenever he seriously considered it.
To distract himself from the pain, he attempted to find something to take up his spare time, but Vivi didn't have many options for hobbies. Garbage-duty, shopping, and even laundry – Seifer's definition of lackey seemed to be very broad, Vivi thought – he performed all the tasks dutifully, but chores were chores. Fighting practice was interesting, but Vivi fought more out of guilt-laden responsibility than for any fun or talent on his part.
Much to his surprise, it turned out he did have a talent, one he wouldn't have suspected: eavesdropping.
No, not eavesdropping, he would frequently argue with himself. Just 'happened to overhear'.
For some reason, his neighbors and even the shopkeepers didn't seem to notice Vivi when he was around unless he tried to engage in a conversation with them directly. Whether it was something about his presence that hadn't revealed itself before or whether the people who lived in Twilight Town were just very oblivious, Vivi didn't know, but it wasn't like he did it on purpose. Still, there were a surprising number of things he could learn just by leaning back in the shadows of a trash can. The subjects that the denizens of Twilight Town chatted about were fairly interesting, even if he always felt guilty for invading other people's privacy.
Eiko would be proud, he thought wryly, then immediately berated himself for thinking of her in past tense.
He learned that Seifer didn't trust anyone, which wasn't very surprising. Hayner, with his personality, disliked the fact that he didn't trust anyone. Olette and Pence were with Hayner, although they didn't get broken noses for their trouble. It didn't take long for Vivi to piece together that many of the townspeople were grateful to the so-called Disciplinary Committee but suspected Seifer was hiding something, although no one was willing to ask him what it was. Hayner was the one exception, so the two leaders continued to butt heads.
Vivi came to feel from these details he obtained that he understood, at least partially, why Seifer held such distaste for other people who tried to approach him and who weren't Fuu or Rai. Vivi himself didn't really try that hard to interact with the townspeople, instead preferring to be avoided – or forgotten, whichever it was.
Although in Hayner's defense, Vivi thought as he watched Seifer and Hayner engage in their ritualistic once-a-day street brawl, Seifer probably starts the fight nine times out of ten.
After growing accustomed to his new routine, things were uneventful for him for several weeks, and the days blurred together. Vivi took to sleeping on his ledge, wiggling into the corner where the material merged with the concrete rooftop to make himself more comfortable. He had been unable to find legitimate sleeping quarters, due, in part, to Twilight Town's lack of inns. This did not explicitly bother him, as he had grown used to sleeping out in the open under the eternally rose-colored sky.
And then the storm had come.
The day had started out well enough. Vivi had woken that day to find a very large, brightly colored Struggle poster taped to the wall of the building across from him. It surprised him, because he had heard the Struggle only occurred as an end-of-summer event, and the moogle had told him that he had arrived at the beginning of fall. The moogle had then explained to him what the seasons were, and how the position of the sunset, frozen in time, would shift just a bit at the beginning of a new cycle.
Vivi finally comprehended that time, if there was any sense of it, ran completely differently in Twilight Town.
A year. Had it really been that long? Vivi decided not to think about it.
The Struggle would take place in five days, and if he wanted to participate, he would have to practice harder than ever. Vivi had no doubts that he would not get far in the competition, but it would at least give him an opportunity to gauge his skills, especially since all participants were granted struggle clubs for use. He could also observe Seifer's, Rai's, and Hayner's fighting styles, since he had heard that all three would be participating, and he had overheard Pence mention an outside Struggle champion who would fight in the title match.
For the first time in a year, Vivi felt excited.
For three days, he worked hard, practicing his swings on the piles of junk that he found gathered in a narrow alleyway. Seifer even excused his absences since he and Rai both needed to practice and Fuu didn't care as long as she wasn't bothered. The aches and pains his body had been experiencing also subsided during the sessions, for once, letting him focus properly.
Then, two nights before the Struggle, the bright pink sky of Twilight Town poured rain.
Vivi fled into the tram tunnels, clutching at his hat. Everyone had been surprised, with denizens running into their houses and slamming doors and windows, a rare summer downpour on anyone's mind.
But Vivi didn't have a home to go back to.
He sat at the entrance to the tunnels, looking out at the sky, his stick sitting faithfully beside him. He waited.
Hours passed. The sky darkened to the magenta-like tint that Vivi had learned to interpret as night in this world, and he grew worried. His ledge was the only place he knew that he could go to, but that would be impossible unless he wanted to be soaked, and he didn't want to risk his health when the Struggle was only a few days away. The tunnels were an option, but Vivi really didn't want to spend an entire night there – the wind was making strange noises and dark, cramped spaces like this brought back memories of suffocation and helplessness that he kept pushed to the back of his mind.
When what felt like another hour passed and the rain showed no sign of letting up, Vivi concluded that he had waited long enough. He stood up, picked up his stick, and ventured deeper into the tunnels, the dull roar of the rain landing against metal resounding through the corridors.
It was still raining when Vivi emerged. The air didn't feel cool at all despite the wet weather, especially after the lower temperatures underground. He had travelled through the tunnels at a slow pace, hoping the storm would subside by the time he walked out one of the exit ways.
Carefully, he looked around. Vivi hadn't been paying much attention to the gate numbers he had walked past, so he wasn't sure where his path led. He really didn't want to get lost now, not when he was finally learning landmarks to rely on. Losing his way would just confuse his carefully constructed mental map of the town all over again, and the downpour wasn't helping any.
Vivi's eyes settled on an open gate that he now saw passed beneath the tram rails, and felt relief as he realized where he was. This was the Back Alley, the place where Seifer and Fuu and Rai came to practice. He had seen the gate before, because he passed by here on his way to buy things from the stores nearby, and hadn't recognized it because the change in the scenery had disoriented him. It had never been open to him until now – but, considering the circumstances, it seemed as suitable a place as any to take shelter until the storm blew over.
Vivi took a deep breath, readjusted his hat, and dashed into the rain, hoping that his shoes wouldn't trip him up and send him flying into the mud. They didn't, although he had to catch himself on the railing before skidding around the corner to a halt.
The gate crashed shut as Vivi dragged it with him, trying to catch his balance and make the world stop spinning. When he could trust his feet not to betray him again, he slumped to the ground, feeling exhausted.
Vivi could hear the steady drum of the rain as it landed on the rails above him, the new space he found himself in dark and slightly cramped. A long rug hung over the entrance blocked out any light. A faint, musty smell found its way to his senses, a scent he thought he recognized but his mind was too sluggish to put a name to. He hugged his knees to his chest, absentmindedly wondering when he had last spent time in a closed space like this.
Maybe a year, he thought, in a life and a world I can't go back to. In humid tents filled with raucous laughter, in a village hidden in a forest maze.
In his home.
And then the pain returned full force, almost angry that he had managed to avoid it for so long. His body hurt, it hurt all over, like when the dark twitching creatures had swarmed him and clawed at him, at his clothes, ripped them to shreds and tearing him apart, and he clutched at his chest even though he had nothing to give them because he wasn't human and they'd already taken everyone else, he wished they were here, and he was alone now, didn't they understand –
His head slumped forward, tantalized by vague images spinning before his eyes: a thief, a princess, a knight in rusty armor, and a girl with a horn on her forehead as they danced out of his reach.
Vivi was tired, so very tired.
He was running in a courtyard, tall spires of a castle reaching up towards the sky.
"Vivi! Vivi!"
A flash of purple hair. An orange pom-pom.
Wait, please, you'll get too far ahead –
"We'll come and get you."
Shining eyes staring out of encroaching darkness.
No, don't, there's too many –
Streak of steel, swords clashing and meeting flesh.
Go away, go away, it's scary, I don't wanna fight anymore –
"It's a promise. But you can't forget, you can't…"
A straw hat sits on a gravestone, where it wavers precariously in the wind.
Please, pleasemakeitstop
"Don't you dare forget, Vivi!"
He crashed backward into reality, a flailing mass of corduroy jacket and hat.
"Woah! Are you okay?"
Vivi looked up into the faces of Olette and Pence, identical expressions of worry etched on their faces. His thought processes immediately backpedaled to the previous day.
Training. Rain. Tunnels. And then…
A noise from behind them and a pause. Then Pence was shoved aside, and Vivi found himself staring into the face of a very angry Hayner.
Vivi scurried to his feet, blinking sleep out of his eyes. He attempted to flee, but only got two steps before tripping clumsily over his enormous shoes. Hayner grabbed him roughly by the collar, to Olette's protests.
"What're you doing here, squirt? This is our spot."
Vivi said nothing, if only because the way Hayner was holding him made it impossible for him to breathe.
He heard an irritated sigh, and then felt his jacket allow him air as he was lowered back onto the ground. "Never mind, I don't know and I don't care. If you aren't lookin' for a fight, get going."
Vivi did, but upon the return of nightfall realized this still left him the issue of his sleeping quarters.
It had rained again.
This time it poured all day, not just the afternoon, and Vivi had retreated to the tunnels once more to practice. He didn't mind that much, since there was still light outside, and the rain was very relaxing once he got used to it, but he still wouldn't sleep in the sprawling tunnels even if someone had paid him in ethers and ice cream.
Vivi felt surprisingly refreshed, although he thought he could sense a lingering aching sensation in his chest, preparing to strike. It probably wouldn't be long before he had another attack, and it made him anxious. Finally being free of the weight had made him realize how much of a burden it had been to carry before.
He shook his head and tugged on the edge of his hat forcefully. Now was not the time to wallow in self-pity. Better to make use of this surprising burst of renewed energy and practice his sidestep.
Keep busy. That was it. Keep thinking, keep moving, and don't stop to reminisce.
...But he still didn't have a place to sleep.
Vivi felt his shoulders sag as he pattered along the tunnels yet again. His feet seemed to have a mind of their own, and that suited Vivi just fine – as long as they didn't land him face first in gravel, they could take him where they chose.
To return to the gathering place of Hayner's gang again, however, was not what he had in mind.
He paused in front of the fence. It was closed this time – presumably Hayner's doing. That didn't mean Vivi couldn't get in if he wanted to, since the lock was an old one and he had gotten a bit stronger in his kicks. It would be easy to break.
He knew he shouldn't. Still, it was cold, and damp, and it was only for one day. As long as he spent a few hours inside and left once the storm let up, he could avoid Hayner and take cover at the same time. It would have to do.
The padlock chained to the gate broke with a loud crack, and Vivi shuffled inside.
The small hideout seemed unchanged from his previous visit, the sofa still in position, the dartboard unmoved, and the familiar musty scent still lingered. Vivi shuddered a bit and buried his face a bit deeper into the crook of his jacket collar, trying hard not to breathe.
He had to stand on his toes to get to the sofa, climbing rather than just sitting down. After a few minutes of scrambling around to get comfortable, Vivi eventually settled and listened to the rain, surprised at how relaxed he felt compared to when he was here last. Perhaps it was the lack of exhaustion that had overcome him the day before, or the absence of the heavy weight he had carried in his heart for so long and that seemed to have lessened for reasons he wasn't sure of.
Whatever the case, Vivi was glad for the release and decided not to worry about it.
But even if he wasn't completely drained, he was still tired, and despite himself Vivi felt himself drifting off again. At least there wouldn't be any visions of the past to haunt his dreams this time around.
Sleep took him before he could question why he knew this.
Vivi woke to a dull thump.
"–skipped lunch because Hayner wouldn't let me leave his practice session. At least you had time to go get a bite to eat before Seifer showed up."
"Just don't make so much noise, you'll wake him up!"
He rubbed at his eyes. Olette was there, his sleep-induced mind observed, brow slightly furrowed and twisting a lock of hair around her finger absentmindedly. "Wha?"
"Oh, you're awake," she said, and looked slightly annoyed. "Give me a second. Hey, Pence!" she called, and a few seconds later Pence popped into his field of vision, licking at what looked to be a blue popsicle.
"Feeling refreshed? You surprised us, you know, curled up on the sofa like that. Almost didn't see you."
"At least you didn't sit on him," Olette commented. "Wouldn't be very pleasant to wake up to something like that." She seemed to notice Vivi's confusion, because she gave him an apologetic smile. "We entered about ten minutes ago and found you fast asleep in here. Sorry if we woke you – I told you not to get the ice cream out, Pence."
Pence shrugged. "Like I said, I was hungry." He held out a half-melted stick to Vivi. "Want one?"
"Er, what flavor is it?"
"Sea-salt. I know it sounds disgusting," he added, catching the look of surprised horror on Vivi's face, "but it's actually pretty good. Really addicting."
"Um, no thanks, sorry."
Pence gave another shrug and stuck the treat back in his mouth. "Your loss. So what brings you to our humble abode? You were here the other day too, weren't you?"
Ah. They remembered. Vivi had expected something like this, but still felt uncomfortable being asked for an explanation all the same. Spending so much time with Seifer, Fuu, and Rai meant that he was largely out of practice in terms of socializing.
"…It rained."
"What about the rain?"
"I sleep outside, so if it rains, I can't. I didn't think it could rain here," he admitted, tugging at the rim of his hat nervously. "It's always been sunny."
"It usually doesn't," Pence conceded, "and to be honest, it hasn't poured like this in a long time, so you're probably not the only one who wasn't expecting the change in weather."
"Oh." Vivi looked down at his feet, already out of ideas to follow through in the conversation.
Fortunately, Olette had no such problem. "So what did you mean, you 'sleep outside'? I mean, you have a place to stay, right?"
"Not really. I don't have any munny, and I couldn't find any inns, anyway. I found a roof that's flat and easy to get to, so I stay there. It's pretty warm when it's not raining, actually."
Olette looked horrified. "But…but then you don't have a house to stay in? What about Seifer's gang?"
"I dunno. They go someplace else after it gets dark. I think they might head to the station, but I'm not sure if they stay or go somewhere else from there."
Pence munched on his bar thoughtfully. "You might have a point. I've seen their group hanging around there once or twice when I was heading home."
Olette put her hands on her hips. "Pence, that's not the issue here! Vivi, please, you can't sleep outside without cover after dark. It's not right."
"Why?"
"It's dangerous at night. I know you hang out with Seifer, but that doesn't mean you might not get mugged or something."
Pence eyed her critically. "No offense, Olette, but I seriously doubt someone like Vivi would get mugged. He's too innocent."
Vivi was starting to feel annoyed. "What does that mean?"
"It's not meant to be an insult," Pence said hastily. "It's just that…well, you're young, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"And you can admit that you're short, right?"
"I guess."
"See, in general terms, that's not really a combination that attracts muggers," Pence explained. "You're not likely to have any money on you, which is what they usually go for, and even if they did attack you, chances are they'd feel really guilty afterwards."
Olette frowned. "I don't think muggers feel guilty, Pence. If they did, they wouldn't act that way in the first place."
Pence opened his mouth to protest, but Vivi was growing weary of the direction the conversation had taken. He wasn't used to dealing with changes of subject like this. "Thanks for letting me stay, and I'm sorry for entering without your permission, but it won't happen again. I should be going now." He made to hop off the sofa.
"Ah, wait!" Olette yelped, and made a grasp for his collar. For the second time in as many days, Vivi felt his jacket constrict around his windpipe in a chokehold before being set carefully back onto the ground.
Maybe he should try practicing his dodging maneuvers more.
"Sorry about that, but there's something I wanted to suggest to you. Are you really planning on living on that rooftop for the rest of your life?"
Vivi paused. "Yes?"
"No, you're not. I don't care what you say," she added, seeing he was preparing to object, "no one should have to live without shelter. Besides, what are you planning to do if it rains again?"
He could have pointed out that Pence had just said that the chances of a storm hitting Twilight Town were slim, but as it had already rained for two days straight and forced virtually all activity to be put on hold outside in the streets, Vivi figured this was probably a moot point.
"Ah, I see where you're going with this," said Pence, smacking his lips and glancing at the barren stick before tossing his now finished ice cream bar into a trash can in a corner of the room. "Darn, I can never win on those things. Anyway, Vivi, you've got a place to stay here, if you want it."
He was astonished, to say the least. "Really? Are you sure?"
"I don't see why not."
Vivi could, for several different reasons. "But what about Hayner?"
Olette motioned with her hand in a nonchalant gesture. "He won't care. The only reason he kicked you out the other day was because he was all grumpy about losing to Seifer earlier. If you're that worried about it, you can stay nights and leave in the morning, although he's so oblivious I doubt he'll notice."
"And Seifer?"
Pence gave Vivi a skeptic look. "He won't like it if he catches you around us, I bet."
"No! Well…Yes, he would."
"Why do you even hang out with them?" Olette asked. "I've seen the way they treat you, and some of the things they say to you. They don't really seem like the best of company."
Vivi considered this. "They're not so bad. I…I think it's true that they don't really like you –" Olette looked hurt, so he added hastily, "– but they're not bad people. I think part of the reason you guys don't get along so well is because Hayner and Seifer don't really like to talk."
Olette seemed encouraged by this, although the look of hurt on her face was replaced by one of irritation. "Boys," she huffed.
"I take offense to that," said Pence.
As they bantered, Vivi thought about the offer. Sleeping on a couch was a lot more comfortable than on a stone ledge, no matter how much he appreciated the view. He was still uneasy about Seifer's reaction, but he really did need a backup plan in case it rained again, and hopefully Seifer wouldn't care as long as his contact with Hayner was kept to a bare minimum – if he was honest, Vivi wasn't sure if the older boy even knew what Pence and Olette's names were. It had always been Hayner's name that seemed to come up in conversation, and Hayner who most of his distaste was directed towards.
Although he'd mainly told Olette such things to stop her from looking so disappointed, it made Vivi wonder if he'd unwittingly brought up a good point.
"Well…I guess, if it's like that, then if it's alright with you…"
Olette perked up immediately. "You'll stay?"
"Just at night. I'd hate to…to…" he searched his mind for the term, "…intrude on you during the afternoon."
Pence let out a hearty whoop and promptly went to fetch another ice cream bar. Olette, meanwhile, gave him a smile so protective and welcoming that he knew, instinctively, that he would never be sleeping on his ledge again.
To his surprise, he didn't really mind.
The days melded together so quickly he couldn't keep track. Eventually, Vivi gave up on attempting so at all. It didn't matter, anyway, or so he told himself. Vivi's mind was split over this issue – wasn't he supposed to be doing something? Working?
Of course, training. But that wasn't right, either.
He was training for a reason, but what it was, he couldn't remember. The buzzing was back, and instead of being a surging pain in his chest there was now just a lingering, incessant noise that never went away. The potions had completely stopped having any effect at all, perhaps because of overuse.
He couldn't remember participating in the Struggle that summer. It was strange, after all the build-up to it, all the preparation, but his memories seemed to fade around that time and he wasn't really sure what he was doing anymore. He was so out of it that he actually went to Fuu to ask what had happened, and she had told him – much to his shock at hearing her speak more than one word at a time – that he had passed out, fallen ill, and Pence and Rai had gone to fetch the adults while Olette had actually managed to get Hayner and Seifer to quit squabbling long enough to fetch the synthesis moogle for medicine.
Didn't he remember?
He didn't. Fuu noticed.
"What's wrong?" she asked him. Not 'is something wrong', he realized. He brought it up, and she told him he'd been acting funny for months, even before the Struggle, although recently it seemed to have gotten worse. "You were in pain," she said bluntly. "Pence and Olette were concerned. Told me you'd been staying at their hideout for nights because you didn't have anywhere to go."
An awkward silence fell. There wasn't much Vivi could say, since it was the truth.
Fuu seemed to hesitate, unsure how to proceed. "Sorry. We…have always followed Seifer, and Seifer alone, and so have neglected to care about others. There was never any need to be concerned for someone else. We never asked you where you lived, or if you had family. We made you think you couldn't tell us anything."
Vivi shook his head. "It's not like that." And it wasn't. Not anymore. "And I didn't ask you guys anything, either. I just watched and listened, and thought I understood. I was too scared to try and move forward, to ask anything." He'd always been like that, depending on others. Vivi hadn't learned from his experience at all.
Fuu just looked at him. "Perhaps."
He coughed. "About where I'm staying, could you…keep that a secret from Seifer, please?"
"Why?"
"Just…I don't think he'd like the idea."
Fuu nodded. "Agreed." She was back to one-syllable sentences again. At least it made Vivi feel more comfortable. He wasn't used to her speaking so much to him.
Fuu offered him a hand. He took it.
"Allies," she said.
It wasn't friends, but it was definitely better than lackey.
Seifer had noticed his change in behavior, too, because when Vivi entered the Back Alley the next day he actually looked straight at him instead of at his hat.
"You're back," he said simply. By the time Vivi recovered from his surprise, Seifer had turned away and started practicing on a nearby box.
Rai squatted down next to him, confused. "Didja go somewhere?" he asked.
"Sort of," Vivi replied. He technically still was, as the haze still covered his mind, but at least now he knew he didn't have to be too worried.
Pence and Olette stopped by the Secret Place when he settled in that night. He waved to them, and Olette looked relieved. Pence grinned.
"Glad to see you're well," he said, and left.
Olette was slightly more explanatory. "We thought you might have been sick. You didn't respond to anyone for weeks, just kind of went through motions. It…we were worried, Vivi. So was Hayner, although I couldn't convince him to come with us today."
"He knows?" Vivi asked.
"He's known for weeks, Vivi. We told him about you that day at the Struggle, remember?"
He didn't, but it didn't really surprise him at this point.
"Does he not like me?" he asked instead.
Olette snickered. "It's the opposite. He thinks you're okay, and it's making him really stubborn because you hang out with Seifer. To him, that goes against every understanding of the world he comprehends...which isn't much, physics-wise." She turned to leave. "Maybe I can get him to visit tomorrow. See you, Vivi."
The Struggle, due to the dropout of one of the primary contestants, had been temporarily postponed. Vivi was disappointed, but Olette's stance was firm.
"There is no way you're going to be fighting in that condition," she said in a no-nonsense tone, hands on hips. Pence and Hayner, who had at last agreed to visit Vivi on one of his stays, had shown sympathy but could offer no advice.
"You'll just have to accept it, man," said Pence.
"Yeah, when she gets like that, it's like she's a mule. Trying to make her change her mind'll just get you kicked in the nads," Hayner joked. Olette threw a book at him.
Pence, ignoring them, tried to cheer Vivi up. "At least they're redoing the semi-final rounds, right?"
Vivi had explained to them, on Hayner's first stay, that he had no recollection of the events around the Struggle or any of the fights. Unfortunately, this included the preliminary rounds as well as Rai's match, during which he'd collapsed in the stands. (When questioned, Rai had been surprisingly complacent. "Just means I got to kick that guy's ass twice, y'know?") The officials had decided that, as Vivi had apparently gotten past the preliminary rounds only to drop out before his match with Seifer, the names would be reshuffled and any new contestants would be welcomed to enter.
So far, however, no one had stepped in. Vivi suspected it probably had something to do with Seifer's name being on the semi-final list, along with Hayner and Rai. Any normal person would be intimidated. He would be intimidated, and the cowardly side of him was more than a little relieved at Olette's refusal to let him participate.
"All right," he said to her, "but I still want to go watch." He could still learn a few things if he observed the matches, and besides, Vivi wanted to see the boys try and fight each other seriously. It would be fun.
Olette looked like she was about to protest, but Hayner cut across her. "Leave it," he advised. "If the kid wants to go, let him go. It's his decision."
She didn't seem satisfied, but didn't press the matter any further.
Vivi walked along the side of the ring, keeping in the shade to stay inconspicuous. Olette had seemed worried when he told them he wanted to walk around on his own, but Pence and Hayner had been supportive enough that it hadn't become an issue. Vivi felt touched by Olette's concern - the last time someone had cared about him that way had been such a long time ago.
Vivi froze, his foot held in the air. When exactly was 'a long time ago'? Before he had come to Twilight Town, yes. But with who? Where?
The referee let out a shout that broke his concentration and made him lose his train of thought. Irritated, he kicked a pebble off the street into the nearby grass. It felt like this was happening more and more often lately, to the point where half the time he couldn't even remember why he had been frustrated in the first place.
Vivi sighed. This was getting him nowhere. He hadn't even been watching Rai's match properly, even though it was the reason he was here in the first place.
He looked up. Rai was throwing punch after punch at Hayner, who was backstepping with surprising coordination. Seifer was standing off to the side, arms crossed and his usual arrogant smirk on his face. Vivi didn't know why he seemed so happy, but it was Seifer, after all. He probably enjoyed watching other people's fights as much as he loved participating in them directly. Behind him, sitting on a bench that was also in the shade, was Fuu.
Wait, Fuu?
He blinked. Yes, it was definitely Fuu. What was she doing here? Hadn't she told Rai that she wouldn't be observing the match?
She noticed him staring and nodded at the opposite end of the ring, where Olette and Pence were cheering on Hayner.
It clicked. Vivi wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or thankful, but he supposed it didn't hurt to be cautious.
The crowd gave a roar and, when he turned back, Vivi saw Hayner standing over Rai with a huge grin on his face. Rai looked disgruntled and out of breath, limping out of the ring to Fuu and Seifer.
"I could'a handled him if he didn't keep running around like a pussy," Vivi heard him complain.
"Stupid," Fuu said in monotone.
"You're supposed to be able to work around that, you moron," Seifer said. "Even the shrimp could've done better than you."
On the other side of the square, Vivi could see Hayner being congratulated by Pence and Olette. Pence was eating cotton candy he had gotten from somewhere with a pleased expression, while Olette had her arms around Hayner's neck.
"Excuse me," someone said from behind him, and Vivi turned to see a boy with brown spiky hair point to Hayner. "Did he just win?"
"Yes," Vivi answered.
"Sweet! That means I'll be facing him next."
This got his attention. "Are you a new entry?"
"Yeah, they said people could sign up on the board, right? So I figured I may as well. Sounds like fun." The boy glanced where the disciplinary committee were gathered behind Vivi. "Hey, so you guys were in this too, huh?"
Seifer jerked at the voice and whirled around to face the stranger. "You're that kid from before. What're you doin' here? Come to see how weak you are?"
The boy leaned against a streetlight and threw his arms carelessly behind his head. He practically radiated confidence. "Nah, actually, I was planning on winning."
"Impossible," Fuu said.
"Yeah, you're nowhere near Seifer's level, y'know?" Rai held up a fist threateningly. The other boy didn't seem the least bit intimidated.
Vivi stayed silent, not sure what to say but certain he'd never met someone other than Hayner who wasn't scared by Seifer.
Seifer glared at him. "Weren't you looking for someone? Or did you find them already?"
"This is kind of a break. Seemed as good a time as any, and we're out of leads right now so we decided to come back for a bit." He paused. "Actually, we just missed each other when I was here last time. She's someone different from who I was talking about earlier, though."
"What, so you've got even more of a load now? What a pain in the ass."
"Hey, that's not true! Don't be such a jerk," said the boy indignantly.
"Whatever. Just don't come crying to me if you regret it later." Seifer hefted his Struggle club over his shoulder and turned away. "Apparently now I've gotta go settle things with some purple pansy. If you beat him, I'll get back my title from you and settle this in the finals."
The spiky-haired boy grinned. "Deal. By the way, I dunno if I told you before, but my name's Sora."
Seifer gave a half-shrug and didn't look back. "I'll try and remember it. See ya, loser."
Rai stomped behind him. Fuu was the last to go, glancing behind her to where Vivi sat. He nodded to Seifer to show he would be fine, so she turned and followed them away.
Sora hesitated a bit before squatting awkwardly down next to Vivi. "So, uh…are you their friend? I remember you were following them around last time I was here, and when the Nobodies attacked."
"Not exactly," Vivi said carefully. "I was their lackey, but it's different now." He looked at Sora, appraising him. If they had met before, Vivi didn't recognize him – oh. "You were the one with those weird clothes on before, weren't you?" It was an image that stuck out amidst memories that were muddled together too much to be recognized individually, around the time he had started to get a hold on himself again.
Sora scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ah, yeah, about that…It's complicated, okay? Let's just say I was half-asleep that morning."
"Right." Well, if he had proper attire now, it didn't really matter either way. The crowd roared again, Seifer having landed a resounding hit on the man with the purple cape. Hayner and his gang were cheering, surprisingly, and Fuu and Rai were near the edge of the ring. Rai was yelling at the top of his lungs while Fuu watched intensely. "Are Nobodies those silver, crawling things?" He couldn't remember them that well, but the adjectives seemed to describe them best.
"Yeah. Nobodies are, uh, monsters from another world. In a way, they shouldn't exist. My job is to protect people from them and make sure no one gets hurt."
He gave a jolt. "Another world?" Vivi repeated.
"I know it's hard to believe, but that's how it is."
"I see," Vivi said. It wasn't so much that it was hard to believe; in fact, it was the exact opposite. To find someone who would willingly talk about the existence of other worlds was more surprising. "And you saved us from them, right?" He could remember something like that, a little fragment in the back of his mind.
Sora looked embarrassed. "If you put it that way, yeah."
"Well, Seifer's like that, but…thanks." At least it explained his behavior earlier.
"Hey, don't worry about it." Sora gestured at Seifer, who was attacking the purple-clad man in a frenzy. "Why do you follow him around, anyway? No offense or anything, but he doesn't really seem too nice."
Vivi sat down on the pavement and put his chin on his knees. "He's strong," he said slowly, "and that was why I didn't mind being their lackey at first. But Seifer and Fuu and Rai – they don't think of me as their friend, really, but I guess I consider them mine."
Sora seemed to consider this, readjusting himself on the ground to get more comfortable. "Friends, huh? Friends are good. And they'll come around. You said you aren't their lackey anymore, right?"
"Yes."
"Sounds like a step forward to me." He leaned back and stretched. "Mm. Yeah, it's better to have friends than not, I think. I hope I find mine soon so we can go home together."
"Are they missing?"
"Yeah, but it's okay. I'm sure they're safe, and when meet up, we'll have a lot of new things to talk about."
Vivi looked over at him curiously. This boy was definitely strange, but there was also a feeling he couldn't shake off about him – the way he talked, and the things he said. Definitely déjà vu.
"Have I met you before?" Vivi asked.
Sora grinned again. It sort of looked like he was amused at an inside joke. "I've lost track of how many people have asked me that here. And no, I haven't, at least technically."
"What do you mean?"
"People's hearts are pretty weird," Sora shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe, somehow, in another world, we were friends."
Strange, Vivi thought, but a possibility. He came from another world himself, after all.
"'Course, that doesn't mean we can't be friends now. What's your name?"
He hesitated. "Vivi."
"Well, nice to meet'cha, Vivi." Sora held out his hand, and Vivi shook it. It was warm and reminded him of a different hand that he'd held, in a castle before everything fell apart and his body started to fail.
"Say," he said suddenly, "while you're traveling, if you come across a world with a country called Alexandria and a village for summoners, would you tell me? That's the place I call home." Or used to, anyway. Funny that meeting this person would make him homesick all over again, after he thought he'd gotten over it.
"Sure," Sora said easily. The promise fell from his lips carelessly and with confidence, but there was a flash of worry in his eyes Vivi saw before it was replaced by that happy smile.
The shadows, Vivi remembered. He had forgotten the creatures that he had seen destroy his home in the first place, among who knew how many other things. Faces and names were melding together and he knew, in that instant, what would happen to him soon.
His chest ached.
Oh, he thought distantly. I guess that's too bad.
It was to be expected, and he'd had his suspicions back home, hadn't he? He ran through his memories, or at least, what he could. No, they hadn't found a cure then, so it would make sense that this would happen now. Maybe the shadows had sped up the process somehow – maybe they could tell there would be no point in hurting him, since Vivi was like them in so many ways.
Someone was shaking his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"
Vivi shook his head and concentrated. Sora was crouched across from him, looking worried. Vivi thought absentmindedly that he was getting the treatment a lot, from what he could piece together. "What happened? Is something wrong?"
"No, it's fine." The purple-clad man was on the ground, and the referee was counting down. The match was over. "It looks like you're up."
"Really?" Sora perked up immediately. "Awesome, that means I get to fight Hayner next!"
His cheery demeanor and familiarity made Vivi smile. "Good luck. I'll cheer for you."
"Thanks!" Sora leapt up from his place on the sidewalk and set off toward the crowd of people at a jog. "Catch ya later, Vivi!"
There were various cries of surprise Vivi heard as Sora jumped into the fray, among which he thought he could locate Seifer's insults and Hayner's shouts of challenge. He leaned back on his hands and looked up at the twilit sky, putting a hand on his hat so it wouldn't be flown off by the breeze.
"Yeah. Goodbye."
He hadn't talked to Sora since the Struggle tournament. Hayner and the others told him that Sora had come again after that day, looking for the entrance to another world, which they had found. They told him in detail all sorts of things about the haunted mansion outside of town, like a hidden staircase and a giant computer that required a ridiculously long password and would you believe we lived near this for years and never realized it?
When they finished, Vivi only had one question. "Do you think Sora found who he was looking for?"
Pence and Hayner looked at each other and shrugged, but Olette said, "If it's him, I think he did." She smiled. "Besides, it's more romantic to think of it that way. Don't you think?"
Maybe. He didn't really understand why, but Vivi found he agreed with her – if it was Sora, he'd find his friends and go home with them, like he'd said he wanted to.
He guessed Sora never found his home world, but that was okay. It wasn't like he had enough time left to spend there, anyway, and it would have only made him sad. Sora kept his promises, or at least, Vivi hoped so.
Vivi swung his legs over the ledge of the building. It had been a while since he'd come here, but it felt nice. Summer was almost over; he could feel it in the air. The wind was colder, stronger. The trees in the forest looked worse for wear. The moogle said that Twilight Town's climate was pretty constant throughout the year, but certain factors about the changing seasons didn't seem to change regardless of the world.
Vivi breathed deeply and closed his eyes, the rim of his hat falling over his face. He didn't think it often, but he wished that he had a heart to listen to while he was alone. It made the isolation seem even worse, and his chest hurt, had been for so long. If he'd had a heart, would it have kept away the pain? Or would it have made it worse?
Well, it didn't matter. He would never know.
Since he'd come to Twilight Town, he'd kept himself busy so he wouldn't have to think these things. Vivi didn't want to be filled with despair or self-pity. That was, in the end, the problem – that day in the tunnels, he'd teetered dangerously close to the edge of his own limits and when he pushed it back, he suffered for it during the Struggle tournament. This sort of thing wouldn't just go away.
He told himself before, back home, that he was ready and could handle his death because he was used to the idea. But Vivi knew better now. Regardless of what he could deal with, the comfort of his own death, it hadn't been what happened and he hadn't been able to accept it. The nothingness, the pain, that came with the loss of everything he loved.
He felt guilty, had felt guilty, all this time.
Why was he alive when no one else was?
Vivi, the black mage who couldn't cast spells. Vivi, the crybaby. Vivi, the weakling.
Vivi, who didn't deserve to be here if he was going to Stop anyway.
He sighed. Meeting Sora had reminded him of who he used to be, who he used to know. The memories that dwelled within him had resurfaced when they talked. He almost wished they hadn't, but at the same time he was happy. Vivi would have Stopped on his own, whether he knew it or not, but at least Sora had given him back what he treasured on top of what he remembered from his time in Twilight Town.
Vivi would miss this place. Even if it wasn't home, he had still had fun here.
He opened his eyes, closed them again.
And then he saw them – maybe they were his memories, maybe they were the real thing, but he didn't care either way. They were smiles and warmth and light, what he'd always treasured most but had been unable to protect. They were what he'd loved, and lost, and just for this moment he was back with them.
Thank you, Sora, for giving this back.
He was exhausted. If this was a dream, he didn't care.
A straw hat rustled in the wind. The clock tower tolled.
Another day passed in Twilight Town.
A/N: Vivi is the most adorable woobie ever, and anyone who says they didn't physically try to hug him but ended up nearly breaking their TV screen is lying.
Ahem. Yes, moving on.
A mess of what was originally a short drabble grew to this, when I wanted to explore how Vivi came to be in Twilight Town as well as a couple other theories. This is totally all over the place, and I apologize for that.
A quick note – this oneshot has given me mass headaches for around two years, meaning it's been through mild development hell. My style has changed over those two years, as well as the tone and ending I wanted to write. Again, while I apologize for any mistakes, I'm hoping you lovely readers will understand when I say that I'm glad to have this out from where it was gathering dust under the bed.
All things considered, I'm kind of disappointed in this one, so if you find anything, feel free to tell me in a PM or a review. Con crit is adored and welcomed.
Finally, I send enormous amounts of thanks and hugs to my friend and fellow fanfic writer mezzoforteish/ricexbowls, who helped me get back on track with this when we tried to do a speed-run of the game, and also to digidestined4eva, who gave me the last push I needed to finish this.
Thanks for reading!