Title: Yo quiero Zuko!
Fandom: Inuyasha
Author: kira
Chars/Pairs: Hojo/ Ms H (Rumiko)
Genres: CRACK!
Warnings: see genre
Word Count: 414
Summary: WARNING: Zuko is powerful stuff
For Hime-sama who brings out the crack!iness in me…
And Ren, who's Zuko'verse is fun to play with…
888
"Oooh… that Zuko drink sounds really yummy!" Rumiko said as she watched television with her husband, Hojo.
"Yeah?" Hojo said, trying not to give into the panic that gripped his heart. Any time his beloved Rumiko said anything sounded "yummy" she was pregnant. They already had four kids, not to mention he was having trouble putting his stepson, Souta, through beauty school. He still cursed the day Souta's boyfriend, Kouga, told him he was a better hairdresser than Jakotsu.
"Do you think you can order some online, Hojo-kins?" his cougar wife asked. "I want some now…"
"Wouldn't it be easier if I just went down to the store to get some?"
"Yeah, but then I won't get the free limited edition M. Night Shamalamadingdong dartboard of doom."
"Okay, my cracker of love." Hojo went over to the computer and turned it on. Logging in, he waited impatiently for his desktop to load. As soon as it did, he Googled "Zuko." After searching through tons of Avatar the last Airbender porn, he finally found what he was looking for, the Señor Zuko site. After a quick perusal of the ingredients as he did not want to hurt their unborn child, he decided to check out a few over on WebMD.
Unfortunately for Hojo, he misspelled "WebMD" and wound up in a kinkmeme for House/Wilson porn. Some of the stuff he read there had unusual side effects, like a tingling and tightness in his groin. Ignoring his discomfort, the intrepid Hojo read on, determined to find out if it was okay for his pregnant wife to drink.
"Did you order it yet?" Rumiko purred. "Mama's feeling frisky tonight…" She held up a can of cheese whizz, and opening her mouth, she squirted some inside.
Hojo gulped. He was up to a really hot part in the medical article he was reading about House's need for a bubble bath with his friend to cure his hemorrhoids, when he looked up at his wife. The sight of that cheese whizz on her lips, had him bookmarking the site for future reference. Two clicks later and ten cases of Zuko would be arriving at his home in two days thanks to express shipping.
Two weeks after the ten cases of Zuko arrived; Hojo was back on the 'net searching through the various House/Wilson medical articles for one on "worn-out wieneritis." It turns out that Zuko was not only an energy drink in a pouch, but the world's greatest aphrodisiac.