Dick was standing in the bathroom of his apartment staring at the bottle of pills in his hand. They were narcotics, painkillers. It's not like anybody will miss me. It's not like anybody cares. He thought as a silver tear slid down his cheek. Bruce sure as hell will not miss me he thought. He doesn't even care about me anymore ever since he…fired me. Alfred might miss me but I'm sure he would get over it. Stiff upper lip and all that. They would all get over eventually it he thought. Then there was Barbara he used to consider her his best friend, his soulmate, but now…She certainly wouldn't miss me he thought. After all she broke up with me.
So then why was he hesitating? Because it was a big step that's all and he wanted to evaluate all the facts before he made his final decision. He felt like a coward. This is the easy way out Grayson. Then he thought about all the pain he had caused recently and all the people he had hurt. They will be better off without me he thought. Then he thought of all the people in his life he loved and would never see again if he did this. However, had any of those people been there when he needed them? NO! He thought and swallowed the bottle of pills.
15 minutes later
Bruce had gotten nervous when Dick didn't answer his phone or his pager or any of his texts; when he got to the door and there was no answer he was further alarmed. He picked the lock opened the door and scanned the room with his keen detective eyes. Nothing seemed to be wrong. In fact nothing seemed to be even out of place.
"Dick?" he called "Dick?" he continued to call his name as he walked around and inspected the tiny apartment. However there was no answer to any of his calls. While he was checking the bedroom he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye and so turned towards its source, the bathroom. When he got there what he saw made his blood run cold. There was Dick lying unconscious on the bathroom floor.
"DICK!" He screamed and rushed to his side. After checking for a pulse and relieved that he had found one he conducted a quick physical examination which did not reveal trauma of any kind. The pulse was so and sluggish though so something must have happened. What the hell happened Dick? That's when he noticed it, the pill bottle lying next to dick. He picked it up and studied it; he noticed it was a narcotic, one of the painkillers they often used. However he noticed it was empty. That's when it dawned on him. He looked at Dick then back at the bottle then back at Dick. Unable or unwilling to deal with the implications that this evidence suggested. He just stared at the pill bottle for a second in a daze.
Did Dick? No he couldn't have-he would never do this would he? How could he do this? Things must be really bad if he had resorted to this. Must have been much worse then he realized. He had no idea things had been this bad. Dick he thought what happened? How could you do this? It was then that it hit him. he needed to call the ambulance and get Dick to the hospital! They would have to pump his stomach Things would have to change after this, Bruce realized he would have to start paying more attention to get and get him some help. He would have to be there for him and be more supportive he had tried to back off and not be in too involved in his life ever since he was 18 but that attitude had gotten them… here so he would have to try a different tactic now.
He took out his cell phone and dialed 911.
"Hello I have someone here who has taken an overdose of prescription painkillers. He is unconscious and his pulse is slow and sluggish."
"Alright sir we will be right there."
Bruce gave them the address and waited anxiously. The ambulance arrived in no time and rushed Dick to Gotham General where his stomach was pumped and he was then placed in the psyche ward where Bruce was told he would have to remain for 24 hours by law but that he should be fine. After the 24 hour lockdown Dick would have to be released into Bruce's care. Bruce nodded and went to sit by Dick's bedside. Alfred and Tim had already been told and so were on their way and he didn't' really see the need to call anybody else.
Dick woke up to glaring lights and the smell of death and chemicals. This is heaven? He thought. No maybe it's hell? Then he noticed he was in a hospital bed and realized that he wasn't dead at all but in Gotham General hospital. He wanted to cry and scream when he realized he was still alive but he was able to restrain himself. That meant that someone must have found him and revived him. What the hell? The nerve! How dare they! Don't they realize that he would be better off dead?
"Dick you are awake" said a familiar voice.
He turned and sure enough there was Bruce. Of course it was Bruce always there when you didn't want him and never there when you do. He turned to him and opened his mouth to say something, there was so much he wanted to say, needed to say to him, He had so much pain and anger in him and he needed to get it out. It was eating him up inside. But he couldn't say anything he just couldn't. First of all, he didn't want to give Bruce the satisfaction of seeing him broken and upset. Second of all what would it accomplish? What would him opening up to Bruce accomplish? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It would never change anything it would have no effect whatsoever. He would never understand so it didn't matter. So instead he didn't say anything. He wouldn't even look at him he just stared at the ceiling.
He could tell Bruce was staring at him waiting for him to say something to open up to him like he always had but not this time, no not this time so he just continued to stare at the ceiling.
"Dick what happened?" Bruce asked "Why-why did you do this?"
Dick didn't answer. "Come on Dick talk to me please. I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
You can't help me period. Dick thought. After a few more minutes and more pleading on Bruce's part to get Dick to open he decided to change tactics. "How about Alfred? Would you talk to Alfred?" Nothing. I will go get him he said and got up and left the room. Thank God Dick thought. Finally a few minutes of peace quiet. Alfred came in and tried his best to get Dick to open up. He used all his tricks that had always worked in the past but to no avail. Dick was resolute in his decision to not give anything away to Bruce. He couldn't tell Alfred anything because then he would just go and tell Bruce. Besides none of them would understand anything that he was thinking or feeling anyway so there was no point in telling them anything anyway. So he just continued to stare up at the ceiling.
Finally Bruce played his trump card. In a desperate effort to get Dick to open and to find out what the hell was going on in his head he called her-Barbara. She was the last person he wanted to see right now and yet he wanted to confide in her so badly, the way he always had before but everything was different now. she would just report to Bruce too. He couldn't trust her, couldn't trust anyone. Besides it's not like she cared about him anymore anyway. She'd broken up with him hadn't she? And now she was going to pretend like she cared? Please!
"Bruce send you in here to talk to me?" he asked coldly.
"Yes, he is worried about you as we all."
Dick snorted
"Dick-"she started as she reached for his hand. "Honey maybe if you tell me then I can help you-we all can."
Dick jerked his hand away. "First of all don't touch me! Second of all don't' call me honey I am not your honey! So just get away from me. I am not giving you info just so you can go and report back to Bruce."
Barbara sighed realizing this wasn't going to work and left the room.
"Well?" Bruce asked anxiously. "Anything?"
Barbara shook her head. "He refuses to talk to anyone because he says we will all just report back to you and he doesn't want you to know anything."
"Why the hell not?"
"I don't know."
"There's got to be someone else who can get through to him, maybe Wally or Roy? No that is not going to work, there has got to be someone better."
Sir if I may intervene, Master Dick has always had a strong affection for Mr. Kent.
"Clark?" "You think he would talk to Clark?"
"It is worth a try sir."
"Alright well I am willing to try anything I will call him."
Approximately 10 minutes later Clark Kent, otherwise known as Superman, w as standing in the hospital lobby; Bruce had told him only the bare necessities about the situation. He doesn't need to know everything. Bruce thought.
"What do you want me to say to him? What am I supposed to say to him?" Clark asked
"I don't know just say something; anything to get him to open up. He's always really liked and trusted you Clark. I am counting on that."
"Alright I will give it a try but I don't know why you think he will talk to me."
When Clark walked in Dick couldn't believe it.
"Bruce must be getting really really desperate if he sent you in to talk to me."
"He is Dick we all are. We are really worried about you."
Dick snorted at the notion.
"What's going on? I hear you have been having a hard time."
"Yeah you could say that." He said sarcastically.
"So what's up?"
Dick hesitated. He wanted to tell Clark everything that was going on. He was so the opposite of Bruce which made Dick just want to open up to him he felt like he could really open up to him. However, if he did then Bruce would find out. Awww screw it! He thought. He needed to tell somebody something. It was killing him.
"I don't know-he started-I've just been so depressed with everything that's been going on."
"What's been going on?"
"Just that I am a general loser/failure and suck at life."
"Ok, A: I'm sure that is not true. B: could you be a little more specific?"
"Well it was like a lot of things happened at once and I couldn't' handle it. I could've handled each thing separately but not together."
"When it rains it pours" Clark said
"Exactly"
"Ok, care to enlighten me on what these things are?"
Dick could feel the tears well up inside of him at the thought of it all. He really didn't' want to talk about this.
"Not really" Dick said. However Clark continued to stare at him in a way that told him that he was not going to get out of talking about it. So he took a deep breath and began.
"Like I said it was a lot of things at once; but I guess they can be broken down into three main categories, the three B's. Barbara, Blockbuster, Bruce." Dick paused and took another deep breath before continuing. This was harder then he thought it would be. He was really trying to keep a lid on his emotions. But Clark was being so good he was just sitting there patiently listening.
"Go on Dick its ok there is no rush."
Where to start Dick thought. Well the first B-Barbara. I thought she was-I mean I thought we were-and then she dumped me just like that! He said tears pricking the back of his eyes. I loved her soo much, more than I have ever loved anyone and she just dumped me!
Second of all there was Blockbuster. The man who found who I was and singlehandedly destroyed my life and killed dozens of innocent people. All because of me! Which means it is my fault and all those deaths are on my conscience!" He said as the tears began to overflow. "And do you think HE gave me even the tiniest little bit of support or sympathy while I was going through all this?" "NO!" NOTHING! I got NOTHING!"
Clark but a hand on his shoulder and gave him an "it's ok" look. This whole time he had been sitting riveted to his seat as Dick laid it all, what he had been going through, piece by piece, he was completely horrified and shocked; but more than. That he was amazed at strong Dick was and how he had been able to handle this for so long.
Dick took a moment to compose himself and then continued.
"And then there is Bruce; probably my biggest problem and the biggest reason of why I did this. First of all he is a total and complete asshole. Honestly Clark I don't even know where to start or how to get into it all. It is all so unbelievably complicated." He said as he shook his head.
"Why don't you start at the beginning? You know when you first started having problems."
"Ok the first thing you have to understand is that we have had problems for a long time, ever since he fired me as Robin. Second thing you have to understand is that we never really had any real problems before he fired me as Robin. Everything was great, ok it wasn't perfect, but it was good enough and I was happy. We were a well oiled machine both as partners and as a family and then one day it was just over and he took away everything that I had and everything that I was. I have had a really hard time dealing with that ever since."
"Anyway I have always been able to deal with the Bruce stuff until this other stuff happened. I just pushed it down inside of me you know? But this time I just couldn't push down anymore."
Clark sighed. "Dick you are just beating around the bush. What is the trouble, the real trouble between you and Bruce? What finally pushed you over the edge?"
"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE!" Dick shouted as he began to sob.
Clark put his arm around him. "How do you know that?" Clark asked knowing that Bruce was very bad at showing and acknowledging feeling and emotions in general.
BECAUSE HE TREATS ME LIKE SHIT ALL THE TIME!"
Dick was still yelling in between sobs. Clark made a calm down motion with his hands and put his arms around Dick and held him until he stopped crying. Then he continued calmer this time.
"Because he treats me like shit all the time and nothing I do is ever right or good enough and it never used to be like that. He used to treat me like gold. I was his little Robin, his golden boy and now I am nothing."
He said. He felt so raw inside while he said this. He felt like someone had taken a razor to his insides and just cut him to pieces.
"So that's why I did it alright." I just couldn't take it anymore. I mean Bruce is everything to me, he is my whole world. Besides that he is all I have and the fact that he didn't love me anymore…I-I just couldn't' handle that. I couldn't bear it. Plus I am pretty sure the world would be better off without me."
"I'm really sorry Dick. But you know that is not true. The world would be a much worse place without you."
"You think so?"
"Yes"
"One thing I don't understand. Why don't you talk to Bruce about this?"
"Have you ever tried to talk to the man about anything that it isn't about 'work' or Gotham? It is impossible! It is like talking to a brick wall! There is no point!"
Clark nodded he knew how stubborn Bruce was. He also knew his dislike of talking about anything that didn't involve work or Gotham. He could totally see where Dick was coming from.
"I don't' know Clark all I know is ever since I was fired from being Robin he has treated me like shit as if I am nothing. So he obviously doesn't care about me or love me anymore."
Clark kept waiting for Dick to finish but Dick didn't finish he couldn't he just kept on going he had too. It was like he had opened a vein that wouldn't close and just kept bleeding out pain. All the pain he had been holding in for all these years. He had to get it out and now was the time.
"The worst thing though, he continued unable to stop, the thing that really pisses me off, is having to watch him treat Jason and then Tim like gold while he treats me like complete shit! He treats me like I'm chopped liver and they are filet mignon. Which I could handle except that I used to be filet mignon and I don't know what happened."
Dick was getting really worked up Clark could tell. He tried to get to calm down but he couldn't. he was too worked up to calm down.
"I-I just don't know what to do anymore Clark." He said as his voice broke and he put his head in his hands. I just take being on the outside looking in anymore. I mean I have been for years so you think I would be used to it but I am not and I can't take it anymore."
"And all of this stemmed from when you were fired as Robin?" Clark asked in disbelief. He couldn't believe so much pain and anger could stem from one event.
"Yes. He cut me out of his life and I've been nothing ever since. I just can't get back in and I don't know how to or what I did to cause it."
"I don't think you did anything Dick. I think it is just Bruce dealing with his issues and this is the only way he knows how to deal with them."
"You think?" Dick asked looking up
"Yes I do."
There was silence for a moment. It seemed as if Dick had exhausted himself and had run out of things to say.
"Look Dick before I leave I want you to promise me something."
Dick nodded
"I want you to promise me that you will never try anything like this again alright? If you ever feel like you want to do this again you call me or Alfred or Wally or Roy or anybody that will listen alright?"
"Ok" Dick nodded
"And another thing; even if Bruce doesn't love you, which he does, Dick rolled his eyes. He is not the only one you have alright? He is not the only person who cares about you. A lot of people love and care about you. You just have to remember that."
Clark looked him dead in the eye. "Ok?"
"Ok" Dick said. It was funny but talking to Clark had actually made him feel a little bit better.
"Alright." He and stood up.
"You are going to go and tell all this to Bruce aren't you?"
"I think it is only fair he knows don't you?"
"I guess." "Good luck with that." Dick rolled his eyes.
"He does love you Dick."
"Whatever."
Clark sighed and left the room.
"Well?" Bruce asked. "did you get anything out of him?"
"Yes a lot actually."
"Really?"
"Yah most of it was about you."
"Oh really?"
"Yah he is really angry at you."
"Oh great." Bruce rolled his eyes.
"Next you are going to tell me that this is all my fault. You know I am so tired of everything always being all my fault!"
"BRUCE! Clark shouted. Would listen to me that is not what I was going to say!"
"It's not?"
"No!"
"Oh ok"
"He basically told me that it is a buildup of a bunch of things that happened over the last year."
"Go on."
"First of all the breakup with Barbara really messed him up. He thought she was he was his soulmate and then was devastated when she dumped him."
Bruce nodded he knew that.
"Then there was the whole thing with Blockbuster."
Bruce nodded he knew all about that too. Clark wasn't telling him anything he didn't' already know. However, it didn't make sense, all of these things had been bad sure but it wasn't enough for Dick to try and kill himself over. There must be something else; something that pushed him over the edge.
"Then there is you."
Bruce rolled his eyes. Here it comes he thought.
"He told me that he firmly believes that you do not love or care for him anymore and that you haven't ever since you fired him as Robin."
Bruce was bowled over by this last statement. His mouth dropped open in absolute shock. He had no idea Dick felt this way. How could he not love Dick? Dick was his son he was everything to him; and how could he have felt this way for all these years and been able to hide it so well? It must have been eating him up inside Bruce thought. He felt so bad and awful for causing Dick so much pain. The last thing he ever wanted to do was cause Dick pain.
"He also says", Clark continued, "That you treat him like shit all of the time and he doesn't understand why or what he did to deserve it. He also says that you only treat him like shit and treat everyone else like gold. To use his words, he is chopped liver and everyone else is filet mignon. He is just confused and hurt because he know when it started he just doesn't' know why or how to fix it."
Bruce had to sit down. The shock of all this information all at once was just too much for him.
"He said that that is what really pushed him over the edge. He just couldn't handle feeling like you like you didn't love him on top of all of the other stuff."
"And he-he told you all this?" Bruce said still in a daze, his mind reeling.
"Yes"
"I had no idea. Clark you have to know I had no idea about any of this."
"I know Bruce I know. Dick didn't want me to tell you but I figured you had the right to know."
Bruce just there dazed for a few minutes then he got up.
"I guess I better go in there and talk to him. It is time to straighten this out once and for all."
Clark nodded.
"But Bruce? If I could give you some advice? Dick is really raw and vulnerable right now so try really hard to be kind you know? Try really hard to be, you know, not…you."
Bruce glared at him. "Thanks Clark" he said and entered the room.
For a minute they both just stared at each other.
"So I guess Clark told you everything huh?"
"Yes and I am so so sorry I had no idea."
"I know." Dick said coldly.
" I just have one question: Why didn't' you say anything? Why didn't you tell me or tell SOMEBODY?"
"A: no one would have understood and no one would have cared. B: You are too damn busy! All you care about is the damn city! Every time I tried to talk to you, you always said you were too busy."
"Look Dick I'm sorry but it is a demanding job you know that. Besides you could've talked to someone else."
"I didn't want to talk to someone else I wanted to talk to YOU!"
"I'm sorry and I will try and be more available but you to have other people to rely on because I am not going to be around forever."
"But-but I don't want anyone else." Dick said in a small voice.
"I know. But you have to have other people it is not healthy to rely on just one person."
"Now down to the brass tacks, you have to know that I love you right? I mean you can't honestly believe that I don't."
"You act like you hate me so why would I think otherwise?"
"Oh Dick…I love you. I love you so much it hurts. You are everything to me you are my whole world. The best thing I ever did was taking you in."
Dick felt like he was going to cry. "Really? Then why?"
"I-I don't know. It is because I got scared. I got scared that you were getting too close and so I pushed you away. I was actually kind of hoping that by pushing you away maybe you would give up and pursue a normal life."
"You had to have known that was never going to happen."
"I was really hoping it would because I didn't want to have to worry about you anymore. I didn't want you putting yourself at risk anymore."
"Now as far as Tim and Jason go, I never treated them any differently than I did you."
"What? That is such complete bullshit! You treat them ten times better than you ever treated me! You did stuff and do stuff with them that you would never do with me!"
"No I do not treat them any differently; they are subjected to the same rigorous training the same rules-"
"Bullshit!"
"FINE!" Bruce roared. "If I treat them so much differently then tell me how. How do I treat them differently?"
"First of all you adopted Jason right off the friggin bat and you adopted Tim as soon as his dad died! But you never took the steps to adopt me!"
"That really bothers you doesn't it? I mean is that what this is all really about?"
"Yes because it makes me feel like I am not good enough."
"Dick it has nothing to do with that! I thought it didn't matter to you? I thought we agreed that it was only a piece of paper?"
"Well it didn't-until I found out that I was the only one who didn't get that privilege."
"Dick you are my son ok? You must know that with or without a piece of paper."
"Yah but it still would've been nice to have the piece of paper. It would've been nice to have it be official."
"Look Jason and Tim were different, they needed it to feel secure and you didn't; at least I thought you didn't."
It all sounded good. Bruce was saying all the right things; all the things he wanted to hear but somehow for some reason he just couldn't believe them. He couldn't believe that they were true. What he wanted more than anything was for Bruce to take him in his arms and hold him and tell him everything was going to be ok; like he had when he was little.
"Bruce I-I-" He started but his voice cracked and he began to sob tears flowing down his face. Bruce at first was stunned and didn't know quite how to react. Then he moved to sit on the side of the bed and allowed Dick to put his head on Bruce's shoulder while he wept. He sobbed out all of the pain that he had held in for years and years. Bruce held him and rocked him back and forth as he had when he was a child.
"Oh Dick, my poor Dick." He said as Dick cried. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. From now on I will try and be there with you as much as possible. Shhhh shhhh it's ok it's ok."
After a few minutes Dick finally stopped crying and looked up at Bruce.
"So you do love me?"
"Of course I do."
"And you don't love the others more than me?"
"Of course not."
"Ok" Dick said and cradled himself into Bruce's arms.
"Now the hospital says you have to stay here for 24 hrs; but, I talked them into letting me stay with you ok?"
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to."
Dick was secretly glad. Hospitals in general gave him the creeps but this place especially. He was really glad that Bruce wasn't' going to leave him.
There was silence for a minute and then:
"Bruce?"
"Yes?"
"Did you know Barbara is seeing someone else?"
"Yes and I'm sorry."
Dick nodded and was silent for a moment
"Why does it hurt so much?"
"Love always does. But it will get better in time."
"It hasn't yet."
"Yes well, some hurts take longer to heal than others."
Dick shook his head and smiled. Bruce always had an answer for everything.
"I really screwed up that whole thing with Blockbuster didn't I?"
"You made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. There is no sense beating yourself up about it. Just learn from it and move on."
This from the man who blames himself for everything Dick thought.
"Bruce?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think my parents would be ashamed of me?"
"What you mean because of this? No. I don't think they would be pleased just as I'm not pleased. However, I think they would be very proud of the person you have become as well as all you have done and all you have accomplished just as I am."
"Really?"
"Yes."
There was a knock on the door and Alfred, Tim and Clark popped their heads in. Sir we were going to retire for the evening and come back in the morning. Is that alright?"
"Yah do you like need anything?" Tim asked.
"No we alright Alfred." Bruce said.
"Yah we are ok." Dick said looking at Bruce and smiled.
"Hey Clark?" Dick said
"Yah?"
"Thanks"
"You are welcome. Anytime." He said and smiled
"Alright," Bruce said when they had left, we should get you situated and ready for bed."
"I'm not tired, plus I don't think I could sleep anyway. This place gives me the creeps."
Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Dick you have had a very exhausting and emotionally traumatizing day you need to SLEEP."
Dick started to protest but Bruce put his hands up to stop him.
"There are no if's and's or buts you need to sleep so lay down, get comfortable and close your eyes."
"And don't worry I will be here the whole time so you won't be alone." Bruce said answering the question in Dick's eyes.
Dick nodded and lay down to go to sleep.
Bruce covered him with a blanket and sat down to read the newspaper.
"Oh and one more thing before you fall asleep" Bruce said. "You are going to see a psychiatrist."
Dick's eyes suddenly popped and he opened his mouth to protest. A psychiatrist? He didn't want to talk to a complete stranger about his issues. Why couldn't he just talk to Bruce?
Bruce put up his hand to silence him again. "This is not open for discussion. You are going to a psychiatrist Dick when we get home. You need someone to talk to about your issues besides me. Someone who can really help you and that is final."
Dick rolled his eyes, laid back down and closed his eyes.
"This isn't a punishment Dick; I am trying to help you."
"Tomorrow when you get out of here we will go home and look into it ok?"
"Oh and that is another thing you are going to living at the manor for a while. The doctor said that you need to be somewhere where you can have supervision at all times otherwise he wouldn't let you go. So the first thing we will do is go and pick up some of your stuff at your place and then we will look into the psychiatrist thing ok? And I don't want to hear any arguments about it."
Dick nodded without opening his eyes. He had to hide the smile that was threatening to erupt across his face. He knew he had to act like he was all offended and pissed off he had to go live at the manor and give up his independence somewhat but the truth was that, with the way he had been feeling lately, he couldn't have been happier to go home to his family. Bruce was acting the way he wished he had acted all along. He was finally getting involved and acting like he cared and Dick couldn't have been happier. He knew that one day he would be able to go on his own again but right now it was just nice to have his family.
With Bruce right there next to him it was easy for him to fall right to sleep. Maybe he thought everything would be ok after all. As long as he knew his family really cared about him he knew that he could get through anything.
The next day he was released from the hospital and they went to his apartment to pick up some of his stuff Bruce said that he would have the rest of the stuff sent over since Dick would be staying at the manor for a while, a month at least. He started seeing a psychiatrist that Leslie Thompkins had recommended and to Dick's surprise it really worked. It really helped him to have someone else to talk to besides Bruce. It even helped him deal with his issues about Bruce and his life in general. Even though Dick had to fudge some of the details he was still able to tell her enough truth to really help him. As a result his relationship with Bruce really improved.
After 3 months the therapist finally felt that Dick was ready to be on his own again. Bruce was nervous but decided to give it a try; telling Dick that there was always a place for him in the manor if he needed it. Dick got a place in Gotham since he didn't' want to be too far from Bruce and his therapist was in Gotham anyway. After the first month of being on his own he even went back to being Nightwing. He checked weekly with his therapist and with Bruce. Bruce started making more time for them to just hang out which he hadn't before. After 6 months Dick was officially "cured" as the therapist put it. He still saw the therapist once a month but he could feel that he was finally back to his old self and it felt good. He knew that things could only get better from here and that whatever came at him in the future he would never go back to that place he had been in before; and he would never question Bruce's love for him again. Yup from here everything would be good. He was sure of it.