So I haven't written anything for a while but I was watching "Too tought to die" (season 1) and thought of this. Hope you like it.
Sara wasn't really sure why she had come back to the lab after leaving the hospital: her case was closed, all the evidence logged and safely stored away for the trial and even the paper work was complete. The thing was, this case just didn't feel like it was over. The thought of Pam lying in a hospital bed for the rest of her life, her husband paying vigil at her side, was almost the worst thing that Sara could imagine. So she didn't want to go home. She didn't care that Grissom had told her to get a diversion, to spend less time at the lab, that was where she needed to be right now: at the lab, with Grissom. She had talked with him, told him how the case was affecting her and then she cried in front of him. At least, she told herself, she was crying for the victim, that was much less humiliating than crying for yourself. It was as she was leaving the bathroom , her face red and blotchy from her outburst of emotion, that she saw Catherine coming from the locker room with her bag and jacket, obviously on her way home. Sara hovered in the doorway of the bathroom for a moment, not wanting Catherine to see her, see the tear stains, and start asking questions. When she was sure Catherine was a safe enough distance ahead of her, Sara followed her down the stairs and into the car park. The humid air hit her, filling her lungs, hanging heavy around her. She paused for a moment on the steps, watching as Catherine walked towards her car. She looked tired, Sara thought. There was something in the way she dragged her feet that made her look at the very end of her reserves. A tinge of guilt swept over her as she realised it made her feel slightly better that it was not just her that had apparently had a long and hard shift. She looked down for only a moment to pull her keys form the depths of her bag but when she looked up she saw that she and Catherine were not alone in the car park anymore. She didn't know who the guy was at first but as soon as he turned so she could see his face she knew, and her stomach instantly knotted up.
"Catherine." Her colleague turned around to face the man who was calling her name.
"Ed, what are you still doing here?" Her voice was a mixture of anger tinged with fear. She could see Catherine looking nervously around her, backing up against her car as her ex-husband walked towards her. He didn't stop walking until his angry face was only inches from hers. Sara took a step forward, wanting to intervene but then stopped, not sure that Catherine would want her help. After all, they were not the greatest of friends.
"I told you Cath, I'm not going to let go until I'm good and ready." He spat, grabbing her wrists and pinning them forcefully against the door of the car.
"Ed come on, don't do this." Sara could barely make out her words, her voice tightened and quiet with anxiety. Catherine's eyes locked with her own across the car park and even in the dim light of the rising sun, she could see the fear and the pleading in the way she looked. Without a further hesitation, she made her way over to Catherine's car, walking at first but then speeding up as Eddie continued to intimidate her.
"Look at me." He growled, shaking her so her body slammed off the car. "So now your hero Mr Grissom isn't here to interrupt us, you mind telling me exactly what your problem is with me?"
"My problem Ed, is you trying to steal my home, butting in on mine and Lindsey's life..."
"She is my daughter too Catherine!"
"You don't think I know that!" She twisted her body, trying to pull away from him but he only tightened his grip further.
"All I wanted to do was take her out for dinner, spend some time with her..."
"Hey!" Sara called from behind him. He spun his head around to face her but didn't loosen his grip on Catherine's arms. "Let go of her!"
"And why would I want to do that?" He sneered, casting his eyes up and down Sara's body as he spoke.
"Come on Ed, just let go." Catherine pleaded.
"Not until we've finished!" He roared shoving her against the car for a second time.
"Hey." Sara grabbed his arm and tried to pull him off her but it only served to fuel his anger. He flung his arm backwards, striking her across the face. She stumbled backwards but managed to regain her balance before she fell.
"Eddie stop this!" Catherine shouted, using her fee arm to push against his chest, but as quickly as he had let go, he grabbed hold of her again, pushing her back with more force than he had before, forcing the air out of her with load groan. "Please Ed, you're hurting me..." She gasped, straightening herself up, looking up at him with tears shining in her eyes.
The pain in Catherine's voice forced Sara to quickly recover herself. "It's ok Cath..."
"Stay out of this!" Eddie yelled turning to Sara, his face red with anger. "This is nothing to do with you."
"It is when you have my friend pinned up against her car in the place where we work! She has said you're hurting her now let go or I'll call security." She warned. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at her for a moment before turning his attentions back to Catherine.
"I guess you can't fight any of your own battles any more huh? Let's just hope our daughter doesn't grow up to be as pathetic as her mother."
"I'm not the pathetic one here Ed, you are." She scoffed. She knew she had crossed the line as soon as she had said it and recoiled before Eddies hand had even come up to hit her. But before his hand could contact her face, Sara had grabbed his arm again, trying to at least slow the impact. He spun round with such force this time that he threw Sara to the floor, her head hitting the edge of the wing mirror on the way down.
"Sara." Catherine gasped, taking Eddie's momentary state of shock and his loosened grip on her arm to finally pull away from him and drop to her friend's side. Sara sat herself up with the help of Catherine's hand on her back, holding her own hand to back of her head. "Get out of here Eddie," Catherine choked. "Or it won't just be security that I'm calling, I'll be calling the police and having you arrested for assault."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Just try me Ed!"
"Fine." He began to back away. "Don't think this over though Catherine." He turned and began to storm away calling over his shoulder as he left. "I'll be round to pick up Lindsey at the weekend." That was enough to make the first tear fall slowly down Catherine's cheek, the weight of the fighting beginning to dawn on her. They heard his car door slam shut and his engine turn on. The screech of tires as he sped from the car park was Catherine's signal to finally let her body relax, her tense muscles trembling as she let out a shaking breath.
"Are you ok?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah I think so." Sara nodded, trying to pick herself up from the floor. She let Catherine take some of her weight as she came to stand on shaking legs. Her head was pounding and she stumbled forward, losing her balance as a wave of dizziness swept over her. She closed her eyes, waiting for the feeling to pass and when she opened them again Catherine was looking at her with great distress.
"You're not ok are you?"
"No I am I'm fine," She assured her. "I just stood up a little quickly."
"No you didn't Sara, you hit your head. You might have a concussion. How many fingers am I holding up?" She fussed, waving her hand in front of Sara's face.
"Two."
"Do you feel nauseous?"
"Not really."
"Not really?" Catherine repeated with a hint of panic in her voice.
"Ok, no, I don't."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes Catherine, I'm sure." She insisted with an exacerbated sigh. "I'm fine, really." She assured her more gently upon seeing Catherine's worried frown. "What about you, are you alright?"
"I guess so." She shrugged, even though she knew the tears in her eyes said otherwise. "I'm so sorry to have dragged you into this Sara, I never meant for this to happen."
"It's ok. I'm just glad I was here to help you. "
"So am I." She smiled gratefully. "I'm not sure what he would have done if... "She stopped and shook her head, not wanting to think about what could have been. "He's never been like that before." Sara stepped forward and took Catherine into her arms, letting her head drop to her shoulder.
"You're shaking." She whispered into her hair.
"So are you." Catherine pulled away, looking up at the red mark on Sara's face. "We should go and find an ice pack to put on that or you'll have a nasty bruise."
"You don't have to do that."
"Please Sara. I don't think I can drive home like this anyway."
"Ok." Sara agreed, not wanting to upset Catherine any further. They both gathered their bags from the ground and made their way back towards the lab.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Catherine asked as they walked. "I thought you had gone home."
"I had, but I needed to speak to Grissom about something."
"Oh. He's still here?"
"Yes why?"
"It's just I, uh, thought I was the only one still here that's all." She said. Sara sensed there was more to it than that but didn't pursue it. Truth was, Catherine knew Grissom wouldn't be happy if he had any idea of what had just happened between her and her ex-husband and dreaded to think what action he might take against Eddie had he seen it. They had reached the floor of the labs before either of them spoke again.
"Why don't you go to my office, I'll be along in just minute." Catherine said, veering off towards the break room. Sara nodded and did as she was told. She had only just sat down when Catherine came in with an ice pack in her hand. She sat on the edge of her desk facing Sara and slowly brought the ice pack up to her face. Sara winced as it touched the tender skin around her eye. "Sorry."
"It's ok." Sara smiled, taking hold of the ice pack for herself, her hand brushing over Catherine's as she did so. Catherine shifted uncomfortable, rubbing her hands together in her lap, refusing to make eye contact with Sara despite the brunette's best attempts to silently get her attention. As it was she was more than a little embarrassed by what had just happened. Until now, her life with Eddie was something that hadn't really been shared with the team, with the exception of Grissom. Of course the others knew about him, the way he acted with her and in general, but they had never seen it firsthand. "Catherine?" When she still didn't look up, Sara reached out and placed a hand lightly on the other woman's knee. "Cath, are you sure you're alright?" When she finally looked up, Catherine's blue eyes were filled with tears and she weakly shook her head in answer to the question. Sara got up from her chair and sat herself next to Catherine on the desk. She let the hand holding the ice pack to her face fall to her lap but Catherine instantly placed it back without a word. She held it there, obediently.
"He's really never been like that with you before?" She asked after a moment as both women sat side by side staring at the door ahead of them. The blind was drawn, the light from the corridor outside shining in through the cracks sending beams of light into the less brightly lit office, patterning the carpet beneath them.
"With me," She sighed, "Yes, but not as bad as that. He never went to hit me in the face before; he was too smart for that." She shrugged. "I guess I must have really pissed him off." She mumbled, shaking her head and wiping a stray tear away from her cheek with the back of her hand. "He never hit anyone else before either." She said slowly, turning her head to face Sara. "I wouldn't have let you come over if I had thought..."
"Don't apologise for him." Sara said firmly. "Besides, saving up all his anger only to let it out on you... I'm not so sure that's a good thing."
"There were some times I thought it might be though." Catherine admitted. "At least that way he wasn't going to end up in some drunken bar brawl and get himself arrested or worse..." As if sensing Sara's next remark from the expression of horror on her face she went on: "Not that I'm condoning him... getting a little rough sometimes, I mean that's largely why I divorced him. I didn't want to put up with it anymore and I didn't want Lindsey growing up in that sort of volatile environment, not that it has made much of a difference on that front."
"You'll have made more of a difference than you realise, trust me." Sara said, her voice weighted with a sincerity that made Catherine wonder for a moment if there was not something in Sara's past that she was drawing on for this remark. But before Catherine could mention anything, Sara had continued. "He hasn't hurt you since you left him has he, I mean until today." Catherine shook her head.
"It was my job, my dancing, that he used to get angry about, and then it was about me spending so much time on my collage work and not enough time with him. Once I got this job it stopped for a while until my hours started piling up and I wasn't home to make his dinner or do his laundry all the time..."
"So why did you stay with him?" Sara asked frowning. In the admittedly short time she had known her Catherine had always seemed so strong and independent. That she had put up with her husband pushing her around for so long was a shock to Sara.
"I know it seems silly," Catherine shrugged. "But there are people out there who have put up with much worse than the odd bruise and at least I knew what to expect from Eddie you know. The one thing I can say for him is that he never let anyone else even get close to hurting me and that meant a lot when I was working in the clubs. It made me feel safer just knowing he was around."
"But you said you stayed with him after that, when you came to work here?" Catherine nodded.
"What can I say, it wasn't all bad. We were good together a lot of the time." She rolled her eyes and laughed bitterly. "And even when we were... being intimate, he liked to... leave his mark, if you know what I mean." She shrugged. "I guess I just hoped people couldn't tell the difference between those bruises and the ones he left me when things weren't so good."
"And could they?"
"Grissom could."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Sara smiled. Catherine turned to her and smiled too. She was amazed at how good it was to talk to someone about all of this, especially Sara, given the rather rocky start to their relationship. She gently took hold of Sara's wrist and drew her hand and the ice pack away from her face so as to inspect the injury Eddie had left her.
"How's it looking?" Sara asked quietly.
"Still a little red." Catherine answered with an apologetic tone. "Does it hurt?"
"Nothing a couple of Tylenol won't cure." Sara shrugged. Her eyes wandered down to where Catherine's fingers were still wrapped around her wrist and were drawn to the marks on her pale skin. "This doesn't look too good either." She noted, running a finger slowly along the side Catherine's arm. Catherine drew her hand away, folding both arms over her body so the developing bruises were hidden from view. She looked away, suddenly self conscious, and began to bite the inside of her bottom lip. Slowly, Sara brought her hand up to Catherine's shoulder, wrapping her arm around her and pulling her in towards herself. "Catherine honey, you're still shaking." She said worriedly. But Catherine just shook her head, drawing her arms tighter around herself. She really didn't want to cry, but it was feeling almost inevitable that she would. "Do you want me to take you home?" Sara offered. Catherine shook her head again. But this act of kindness was enough to tip her over the edge and before Sara had a chance to say anything else, a huge sob racked through Catherine's aching body. She brought both hands to her face, embarrassed by her lack of self control. Only two people had ever seen her cry like this before: her mother and Grissom. Sara instantly dropped the ice pack, which was still resting idly in her hand on her lap, and drew Catherine to her feet, holding her tightly in both her arms. "Hey it's ok." She whispered. "You're ok." She closed her eyes, fighting to hold back her own tears.
"I know I shouldn't get upset," Catherine choked, "But I still love him, so much." Her words were disjointed, broken up by her tears. "He's like some stupid drug that I can't get out of my system and I don't want to love him but I do and it hurts, more than he ever hurt me before..." Sara moved her hand in slow circles along her back, trying to calm her as her breathing grew more erratic.
"Shhhhh, it's ok." She said quietly again.
"I want Lindsay to have her father. I never did and I sometimes resented my mother for it." Catherine continued to cry. "I just don't want her to hate me."
"Cath she'll never hate you, how could she?"
"I spend more time working than I do with her, I broke up her family..."
"For a good reason Catherine." Sara said firmly, pushing Catherine gently away from her so she could look at her as she spoke. "No child would wish to be in a family where their parents argue and fight all the time or where they have to see their mother beaten and worry that it will happen to them too..." Her voice trialled off as she worried that she had said too much. She took hold of Catherine hands, looking down to where her fingers wrapped around her friends trembling ones. "You did the right thing Cath. You have to know that."
"Sara..." Catherine bit her lip, waiting for the brunette to look up at her before asking the question that had hung in the air since a few minutes earlier. Sara flicked her eyes upwards, daring to meet Catherine for only the briefest moment, knowing what she was going to say and not wanting it to come. She didn't want this to be about her and her past. This was about Catherine. "Is there something you're not telling...?"
"I should take you home," Sara said quietly before Catherine could finish. "So you can talk to Lindsey." Catherine nodded slowly understanding that whatever it was Sara was hiding, now was the time to force her to share. Sara slid from the table where they were sat, instantly regretting moving as her head pounded. She squeezed her eyes closed, waiting for the feeling of unsteadiness that hit her to pass. She could feel Catherine's hand under her elbow supporting her.
"You ok? Do you need to sit down?"
"No I'm ok," She said weakly. "Just stood up a little quickly that's all." Catherine wasn't sure she believed her, but nodded and let go of her arm.
"At least let me drive." She insisted. "Just in case." She added when she saw Sara about to protest at the idea.
"Ok." Sara nodded. If she was honest, she would be glad of not having to drive. Her head was beginning to hurt gradually more and more. The two women gathered their bags and left the office, choosing to take the lift down to the ground floor rather than the stairs as they were both tired and ached from their argument with Eddie. Catherine unlocked her car and opened the passenger door for Sara.
"Thanks." Sara smiled as she slid into the seat. Catherine sat in the driver's seat but didn't turn on the engine. "Everything ok?" Sara asked, worried that Catherine didn't feel up to driving after all.
"Could we not tell anyone about this?" She requested, turning to Sara with a worried frown. "I know it won't be easy, they're bound to ask how you got that bruise..."
"I'm sure I can come up with something."
"I don't want you to have to lie it's just that Grissom has never been much of an Eddie fan and if he knew about this..." Sara looked at her expectantly. She couldn't imagine what Grissom would do about it. He was a great friend of Catherine's of course, and he could get very protective it was true, but he always seemed so passive. It took a lot to provoke any kind of outward display of anger from Gilbert Grissom. "He wouldn't like to think of Ed hurting me again," She explained after a moment. "And he certainly wouldn't accept him hurting you." She added, looking up at Sara just in time to catch a flash of embarrassment crossing the younger girls face. "It's just..." Her voice trailed off and she shook her head.
"No, go on." Sara encouraged gently. "It's just what?" Catherine hesitated a moments longer, but then decided it was the least that she owed Sara after today to be honest with her.
"There was a time, years ago now, when Lindsey was just a baby really. Ed had been... uncharacteristically calm since she had been born and then one day he just snapped. I don't even remember why." She shrugged. "Something stupid I expect. Anyway, I got scared and ran to Grissom, not such a great idea in retrospect."
"Why?" Sara asked. "What happened?"
"He came around to his house, demanded to see me. I told Gris that it was fine, that I was ready to go home but he wouldn't have it."
"Had he hurt you?" Catherine nodded.
"Not as much as Grissom hurt him though." She smiled at Sara's shocked expression. "Gave him one hell of a black eye!"
"Wow. I didn't know he had it in him."
"Well, you know Grissom. Full of surprises."
"Yeah, I guess so." Sara smiled. "Your hero huh?"
"We all need a hero once in a while." Catherine said, turning on the engine of the car. "I know Grissom seems like a slightly unlikely candidate," She smiled. "But then so did you." She said turning to face Sara, her face full of sincerity.
"Catherine..."
"I'm so glad you were here Sara." She said before Sara had a chance to stop her. "I just wish you hadn't gotten hurt for your efforts."
"Are you going to be ok at home? You don't think he might be there?" Sara asked concerned.
"Maybe, but I don't have a choice do I. I'm not going to let him keep me away from my own home, not again."
"But what if he..."
"I'll deal with it."
"And Lindsey?"
"He wouldn't hurt her." Sara looked uncertain. The silence was filled by the sound of the engine quietly turning over. Catherine gripped the wheel tightly with both hands. Closing her eyes, she sighed. "I'll call my mother. Ask her to come over for the night. The threat of the mother-in-law is enough even to scare away a man like Eddie." She joked. Sara flashed the blond an uneasy smile.
"Really," Catherine said, trying again to diminish Sara's obvious concern. "Don't worry about me." Sara didn't say anything. She couldn't help but worry, not after what she had seen tonight and certainly not after what she herself had witnessed as a child. Catherine pushed the car into reverse and pulled out of the car park into the steady stream of traffic outside the lab. It wasn't until Catherine stopped at a red light that Sara spoke again. Until then, she had been staring out of the window ahead, her mind clearly elsewhere.
"Do you ever find it hard?" She asked quietly. "When you see women who are being hurt by their husbands, their boyfriends... do you ever just want to tell them...tell them what happened to you and tell them to get out?" Catherine slowly shook her head as she studied the girls face. She looked sad.
"What happened to you Sara?" She asked gently. Sara shook her head.
"It was a long time ago."
"Sara..." Catherine sighed. "You mustn't let work get to you..."
"I know." Sara snapped. "I mean... I'm sorry." She sighed. "It's just that I've already had this lecture once today..."
"I wasn't going to lecture you." Catherine defended. "I'm just worried about you."
"Well don't be." The loud blare of a car horn pulled Catherine's attentions back to the road. They drove silently until they reached Sara's apartment block.
"Thanks." Sara mumbled as she undid her seatbelt.
"Not a problem. I can pick you up before the shift tonight if you want?"
"Um yeah, that would great thanks." She rested her hand on the door handle but stopped herself before getting out of the car. "I'm sorry I snapped. I just don't like to talk about my past. What happened... it was very different to you and Eddie. If you could just forget that I said anything..."
"Already forgotten." Sara gave a grateful smile then stepped out of the car. "I'll see you later." Catherine nodded. "Take care ok."
"Yeah, you too." She smiled as Sara closed the door and walked away towards her apartment. So the two women, both exhausted and both hurting, went their separate ways. They had a lot to think about after the nights events but they both new they would never talk about it again. It was, as Catherine had said, already forgotten.
I would love it if you could leave me a review to let me know what you think of my latest fic. I hope to get back into writting and am sure I can do a better job of it with your help.
Thanks for reading.
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