Hi all. Thanks for the continued feedback! I'm working on follow-ups to Interrogation and Close Call, but remembered I had this one ready to go.
Shoot me a PM if you have a Rolivia request; I'm open to 'em. : )
Olivia sits on the floor of her living room, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankle, lazily coloring a page out of one of Noah's coloring books while he does the same beside her. Where his is the kind of abstract art one would expect of a four year old-harsh, jagged lines scratched against the rough paper; Olivia is thoughtful as she carefully fills in the shapes, the exercise more therapeutic than she anticipated after the events at the townhouse a couple of days before.
"Mommy," Noah admonishes her playfully, breaking her out of her reverie. "Sun's not pu'ple."
She looks from his smiling face to her paper, her face the picture of faux confusion. "It's not? What color is it?"
"Yellow!" he giggles, and the sound warms her heart.
Olivia gasps. "You're right, my love-"
They're interrupted by the shrill sound of her cell phone ringing at the other end of the table, and she smiles at him, pinching his chin lightly as she lifts the phone to her cheek, noticing Rollins' name flash across the screen as she does.
"Benson," she answers shortly.
"Liv...hey. I-uh...how are you?"
For someone who called her, Amanda almost seems surprised to have ended up on the phone with the Lieutenant, and Olivia can practically envision the other woman, pacing her living room, nibbling nervously on a fingernail.
"I'm fine, Amanda," Olivia says, willing her voice to be convincing.
"I talked to Fin. I heard about what happened at the townhouse. I, uh...I wanted to call before, but...I thought you might need time. To process, and all that…"
"I appreciate that. Fin shouldn't have called you," Olivia sighs, running her fingers through her hair and smiling at her son while he colors. She stands up, wincing slightly from the effort, and heads into the kitchen, wanting to shield Noah from as much as possible from that day. The marks on her face are hard to hide, but he doesn't need to hear about it, too.
"He didn't," Amanda corrects. "I heard about it on the scanner and-"
"-You were listening to the scanner on maternity leave?" Olivia interrupts in disbelief.
"Liv," the younger woman defends flatly. "I don't do well with time off. I'm about to start climbing the walls."
Olivia surveys her apartment, where she's spent every second of the last couple of days since coming out of the townhouse alive; the same place she'll stay until she's cleared to return to work. She sighs; she only has a couple of days to Amanda's two and a half months, but she can relate to the cabin fever. "I can imagine," she says knowingly.
"I thought so," Amanda retorts dryly. "Listen...I was thinkin' about attempting the first solo trip out of the apartment with the little one. I don't figure you're up for some company…? I can bring some lunch..."
The brunette pauses, running a finger lightly over the scratch that's healing over her eye.
Amanda senses her hesitation. "It's fine if you're not, Liv… I get it. The other day… it must have been a lot…" she finishes softly.
"No, no… it's okay," Olivia says quickly. "Come over whenever. But don't worry about lunch," she adds. "I'll put something together when you get here."
Though Olivia's face lights up at the sight of Jesse strapped into her stroller, Amanda can see that the older woman is struggling, and she forces herself not to scrutinize the bruises and scratches on her Lieutenant's face as she coos over the infant.
"I can't get over how beautiful she is…" Olivia murmurs. She's bent over the stroller, beaming at the squirming infant, holding her wavy brown hair back from her face as she glances up quickly at Amanda. "May I?" She motions toward Jesse, wanting to unbuckle her from the stroller.
"Yeah, go ahead." Amanda murmurs, shucking her coat and hanging it on the rack by the door. Together, they pull off the tiny knit hat and jumpsuit the blonde had dressed Jesse in, and Olivia lets out a short bark of laughter when she sees the onesie the infant is wearing.
"Relax, My Mom is a Cop? Seriously, Amanda?"
The detective shrugs, following the brunette to the living room and sitting beside her on the couch. "Baby shower gift," she chuckles. "I figured you'd get a kick out of it."
Both women look up as Noah shyly ambles over to stand between them, curiously eyeing the baby in his mother's arms. Olivia pushes his hair off his forehead. "Can you say hi to Amanda, baby?"
"Hi," he whispers obligingly, wringing his hands together as he leans against his mother's knees.
Amanda smiles, playfully slugging his cheek. She winks at Olivia when he giggles and slinks further away. "Hey there, little man." She grips Jesse's foot in her hand, rubbing softly over the material of the onesie. "This is Jesse," she says, introducing her daughter.
"Ba-by," Noah mutters, eyes rapt on the baby girl, tentatively reaching out to touch her hand.
Olivia meets Amanda's eyes briefly, a thin sheen of moisture in her eyes as Noah gently touches the baby in her arms. He lets Jesse wrap her fist snugly around one of his small fingers. It's the first time he's been around a child as small as Jesse is, and his curiosity is sweet to watch.
Jesse tolerates the attention for a few moments before she gets fussy, and Amanda takes her from the brunette to calm her down.
"Noah, why don't you color something for Jesse, and I'll make us some lunch?" Olivia looks to Amanda, who is patting Jesse's back softly and cradling the infant to her neck. "I hope sandwiches are okay…"
"That's fine, Liv."
At naptime, Olivia puts Noah down in his room before helping Amanda surround Jesse with pillows in the center of her bed. Both kids asleep, they retreat to the living room and settle on the couch; Amanda with her back resting against the arm on one side, and Olivia facing forward in front of her.
The younger detective watches Olivia take a ragged breath, nudging her arm and bending forward slightly to try to get a read on troubled brown eyes.
"How are you really, Liv?" the blonde asks softly. As Olivia shakes her head, unresponsive, Amanda rests a hand on the brunette's left arm, rubbing circles on her back with her free hand. Her touch is tentative at first, not used to touching her boss like this-or at all, for that matter. But the lieutenant doesn't pull away, so she continues, gaining confidence with every revolution of her hand on the soft material of Olivia's sweater. "Pretty horrifying thing you went through," she says. "I can't even imagine…" she trails off, thinking about her daughter asleep in the next room.
Amanda's voice fades into a silence that stretches between them for several moments before Olivia carefully swipes at a single tear hanging on her eyelashes, sparing the detective a sideways glance. "I appreciate you being here," she starts. "But…I'd rather not talk about it…if that's okay," she mutters quietly. "I just—"
"We don't have to talk about it," Amanda shakes her head. "We can talk about something else if you want."
Olivia nods gratefully, but neither of them broaches another topic; content to instead sit in the quiet while Amanda continues her soothing movements along the older woman's back. When she sees Olivia wipe away another tear, her heart breaks.
"Liv…" she tries, her grip tightening on the arm beneath her left hand. "C'mere." She pulls gently, guiding the brunette into her embrace as she leans back against the arm of the couch. Olivia's head rests against her chest, soft brown hair tickling her chin, and she rests her cheek against the top of her head. "Is this okay?" she whispers.
It takes a minute, and Amanda knows Olivia is internally weighing her need for comfort against her unease with allowing the younger woman to see her like this, to be here for her like this. She understands; if their roles were reversed, the blonde isn't sure she would've allowed even this much contact between them. But slowly, she feels Olivia's arm wind around her waist, and the head against her chest nods subtly, the brunette's body settling into the safety of her embrace.
Amanda feels Olivia's breath coming out in a staccato rhythm against her; and it's unconscious, the way she threads her fingers through silken brown strands, massaging the back of her lieutenant's neck as she presses gentle kisses to the top of her head.
Moments pass and Amanda lifts her arms when the older woman pushes herself up. The blonde wipes a stray tear from Olivia's cheek, warm brown eyes never straying from her face.
"Better?" Amanda asks, her voice so soft it's almost inaudible. It's as if too loud of a breach in the silence will break this moment between them. The brunette nods and on a whim, the younger woman leans forward and presses her lips to a tanned forehead.
Olivia seems to temporarily stop breathing, her eyes fluttering shut briefly, and the air between them thickens as Amanda pushes a lock of hair behind the lieutenant's ear, pressing her lips to a soft cheek.
Their eyes meet and lock into an intense stare before brown eyes drop to pink lips, so quickly that, had Amanda blinked, she likely would've missed it.
"Liv," Amanda breathes, inching closer to the brunette's lips, her body acting on instinct.
Cautiously, Olivia leans closer at the same time and their lips touch; just barely. It's unbearably soft, a tentative graze, and they both pull back, eyes open and surveying the other for a reaction.
Simultaneously they lean back in, pecking each other's lips over and over before Amanda feels a hand wind into her hair to cup the back of her head. Plump lips wrap around her bottom one, suckling softly before she feels the swipe of Olivia's tongue and she gasps at the contact, pulling away in surprise.
Blue eyes search brown ones, labored breaths mixing in the air between them. This, whatever it was that was happening, was beyond the last thing Amanda would have expected…
"Are you sure…?" she asks carefully.
Olivia swallows thickly, and her voice is strangled when she finally speaks. "I just want to feel…" She gives Amanda no time to respond before dropping her lips along the younger woman's chin. She drags sloppy, wet kisses along her jaw, forcing the blonde to bite back a moan. "Please touch me, Amanda," Olivia pleads, tucking her face into the detective's neck.
Amanda tightens her grip on the brown hair wrapped around her hand and tugs lightly, pulling Olivia out of her hiding spot and without another word, Amanda presses their lips together, her mouth opening almost immediately to accept Olivia's probing tongue. The brunette whimpers gratefully, angling her head to deepen the kiss as she lets her weight rest more fully on the blonde.
Hands move in exploration, pushing under shirts and finding heated bare skin for the first time as the women devour each other, Amanda allowing the lieutenant to take what she needs.
When Olivia brings one of the blonde's hands around to cup her breast, beneath her sweater but over the satin material of her bra, Amanda moans against her mouth, squeezing the soft flesh gently as Olivia shifts her legs to straddle the younger woman.
"Christ," Amanda breathes. She tugs at the material of the sweater, intending to lift it over the brunette's head, but Olivia stops her.
"Noah," she says simply. With the kids only down for a nap and Jesse occupying the older woman's bed, the only option they have is the couch. That means they can't undress—not with the risk of Noah waking up and coming out into the living room to find them.
Amanda feels a pang of disappointment when realization dawns and she understands that while she'll get to feel, she won't be able to see. Not this time.
This time?
Olivia lowers her lips to Amanda's again before she can devote any more thought to the idea, roughly palming the younger woman's breast in her hand as she grinds their hips together, breathing raggedly against Amanda's mouth. The blonde slides a hand down to cup her ass and bring her closer, and Olivia releases her lips with a grunt.
"Fuck," Olivia grates.
Boldly, Amanda brings her hand around and teases the waistband of Olivia's leggings, dipping a finger beneath the material. "Last chance, Liv," she husks, giving the older woman an out before this goes any further. They've not yet reached the point of no return.
The brunette looks down at her, an aroused flush staining tanned cheeks and teeth sinking into a plump lower lip. There's a wild look in her brown eyes and she nods. "Please."
Amanda's eyes are glued to the older woman's face as her hand slides beneath the leggings. She cups Olivia over her panties at first; smirking confidently at the wetness she finds seeping through the thin material that covers her sex. She hears a strangled sigh escape her lieutenant's parted lips and finds that the woman's eyes have fallen shut.
The blonde maneuvers underneath the other woman's panties, groaning when her fingers find the slickness coating Olivia's lower lips.
"Yes," Olivia whimpers. She grips the arm of the couch behind Amanda's head, unabashedly pushing her hips into the gentle touch of her subordinate, silently pleading for more. Harder. She wants to forget everything but what this feels like—right here, now. "'Manda…"
"I know," the younger woman murmurs. She dips two fingers teasingly into Olivia's opening, smiling when the brunette jerks into the touch, trying to impale herself on thin fingers. "I've got you."
Olivia releases a pained grunt. "Ple—I can't, I need…" The older woman practically growls as she moves over the blonde, desperately aching to be filled by the fingers that are teasing her mercilessly. She lets her forehead rest against Amanda's, and her eyes are hooded when she looks down to meet deep blue.
Amanda doesn't make her beg again.
"Oooooooohhhhh." Olivia throws her head back when Amanda's fingers finally slide home and she feels the delicious pressure that she's been craving inside. Her arms almost buckle under her weight and she catches herself at the last second. She lowers her head back into the crook of Amanda's neck as the blonde pulls out, sliding back into her heat as hard as she can with her hand impeded by Olivia's leggings. "So good," she mewls, driving her hips down into Amanda's upward movements.
The position is murder on the younger woman's wrist; she doesn't have much room to work with and the brunette is moving roughly over her fingers. But it's not about her-Olivia needs this.
Amanda cranes her head back, her own breath labored as the older woman's teeth and tongue work diligently against the skin of her neck. "Fuck, Liv," she gasps. She grips Olivia's hip with her free hand, using it as leverage to adjust her angle, and the lieutenant's lips fly off her neck with a moan when she presses her thumb onto her lover's swollen clit.
Olivia pushes herself up and Amanda stills her hand, letting the brunette control the speed and depth of her fingers into her heat. The older woman's head drops back, her mouth falling open on a desperate moan as her hands paw at Amanda's chest, squeezing her breasts over the plaid shirt she still wears.
The younger woman watches, awed, as Olivia moves over her; her hips moving at a frantic pace. Caught in the moment, Amanda slides her hand up the lieutenant's side, teasing the underside of her breast with her fingertips. Olivia looks down at her, panting heavily, and moves the blonde's hand the rest of the way until she's cupping a full breast, her thumb teasing a peaked nipple through two layers of clothing.
Their eyes lock, and Amanda's breath hitches when she sees the need swirling in Olivia's brown orbs, nearly black with arousal. Gingerly, she adjusts her hand again, her thumb hitting the brunette's clit with every downward stroke. It's not long before muted high-pitched whimpers punctuate every ragged breath that escapes Olivia's lips and Amanda watches determinedly as the older woman approaches closer and closer to the edge.
"Let go, Liv," she encourages lowly, tweaking her boss's nipple through her clothes.
"So...close…"
"I know," Amanda says roughly, pressing harder into the sensitive bundle of nerves. She smirks when Olivia gasps helplessly, walls fluttering around slender fingers. "I can feel you… you're almost there. Just let it go."
One more swipe over Olivia's clit is all it takes before the brunette clenches tightly around Amanda's fingers, her movements above the detective stopping completely for a brief second before her hips jerk and her body twitches as she rides out her orgasm. Her hands squeeze Amanda's breasts unconsciously as she comes down from her release, her spent body falling forward onto the younger woman.
Amanda carefully removes her fingers once the tremors around them stop and she rubs Olivia's back, much like before only now, the situation is so very different. She feels the brunette's breathing slowly return to a normal rhythm against her, and she moans softly when plump lips press against the side of her neck.
The older woman trails wet kisses up her neck before sucking her earlobe into her warm mouth. "I needed that," she murmurs.
Craning her head back to give Olivia more room to work, Amanda lets out a dry chuckle. "Happy to help," she quips breathily.
Olivia is silent as she pushes herself up a little bit, just far enough to meet the blonde's eyes before she leans in and presses their lips together. The kiss isn't as frenzied as their earlier kisses were, but they are no longer tentative, and the younger woman moans when Olivia nibbles at her lip before pulling away, making her way down Amanda's body.
The detective's eyes widen when she feels Olivia's hands pulling at her belt buckle, and she gasps. "Liv… I- that was for you. I'm not expectin' anything..."
"I know," Olivia says throatily. She reaches up and pushes a stray lock of hair out of Amanda's face, her eyes darting back and forth between the younger woman's. What she says next surprises them both. "I want to do this for you…" Amanda swallows thickly. Words escape her and she lay silent beneath the brunette, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Olivia thumbs the button on her jeans. "Can I?"
The powerful release Amanda had given her was wholly satisfying and exactly what she'd needed; but there was a new need taking hold in her body now, one she didn't fully understand but wanted desperately to explore.
Amanda waits a beat, then nods, her breath picking up as Olivia immediately unbuttons her jeans. The older woman wastes no time sliding the zipper down, her hand hovering at the waistband of the dark cotton panties visible in the open fly of the jeans. She looks up to meet Amanda's eyes again, seeking reassurance.
"Please," the blonde whispers.
Olivia slides her hand beneath the material, releasing a groan when her fingers find an unbelievable amount of wetness between the blonde's legs. "Oh my god," she mewls, looking up at Amanda in surprise.
The younger woman bites her lip, almost embarrassed as Olivia discovers just how turned on she is. This won't take long at all. Her eyes fall shut as the lieutenant's hand begins to move against her wet flesh, dipping down to her entrance before sliding up and circling her protruding clit. The pressure, perfectly placed, wrenches a strangled gasp and Amanda reaches out to grip Olivia's arm, her back arching up from the couch in pleasure.
"Liv," she pants. She hasn't been touched since Jesse's conception and she's struggling to hold on, wanting to savor this moment as much as possible, not knowing if it'll ever happen again.
The brunette shifts, keeping up the motions of her hand while moving up Amanda's body. The younger woman's eyes open, blearily meeting brown, and Olivia lowers her head, murmuring against Amanda's lips. "Tell me what you need."
"Mmm," Amanda moans desperately, writhing into Olivia's touch. "Don't stop…"
Swept up in the younger woman's need, Olivia's hips thrust against the blonde in time with her hand. She growls as Amanda meets each thrust with her own, their bodies grinding together frantically as the blonde hurtles toward her own release.
"Oh," Amanda pants, bringing a hand to cover Olivia's in her jeans, needing more pressure. "Fuck…" Her eyes squeeze shut, head dropping back against the arm of the couch. She feels the familiar heat rising in her lower belly and her toes curl inside the shoes she still wears.
Olivia lowers her head to the detective's ear, sucking harshly on the lobe. She breathes heavily against Amanda's skin before uttering one word; one simple word that unleashes a torrent of pleasure in the blonde. "Come."
Amanda's back arches and her legs squeeze together tightly, entrapping Olivia's hand against her as she rides the wave of her release. She bites her lip so hard in an effort to stay quiet that she thinks she tastes blood. "My...god…" she huffs, chest heaving as she struggles to breathe.
The older woman is still, unmoving against her as she comes down. When Amanda finally relaxes, Olivia extracts her hand, smiling at the small whimper of displeasure that escapes the blonde's lips, then carefully buttons and zips her pants.
To the untrained eye, they are just two women lying together on the couch. But the air is thick with tension as they both process the gravity of what's happened; the lines that have been crossed.
Amanda takes a deep breath, pushing her bangs, matted with sweat, off her forehead before she looks at Olivia, waiting until the brunette meets her eyes. For a moment, they stare silently at each other, trying to read what the other is thinking; wondering where to go from here, if anywhere...
"So," Amanda begins boldly, reaching out for Olivia's hand. Her stomach lurches, not unpleasantly, when she feels the stickiness of her release on the brunette's fingers. "How do you feel now?"
The question catches Olivia off-guard and a laugh bubbles out of her throat before she can stop it. Amanda smiles, noting with pride that the emptiness that was in the lieutenant's eyes earlier is now replaced with her familiar sparkle.
Olivia carefully laces their fingers together, holding Amanda's gaze meaningfully. "Much better," she whispers.
Amanda opens her mouth to respond, but their attention is drawn away from each other when Jesse lets out a sharp cry, waking up from her nap. The younger woman looks back toward Olivia. "I better get her before she wakes Noah up."
She gets up from underneath the brunette, giving the older woman's hand a light squeeze before letting go and heading down the hall. Olivia unashamedly watches her go, flopping back against the cushions and pinching the bridge of her nose once she's alone.
The lieutenant heaves a deep sigh and fixes her eyes on the ceiling, a small smile spreading across her lips as she comes to a somewhat startling realization.
"I'm in trouble."
Well...?