Disclaimer: I own nothing what so ever to do with Twilight, or New Moon. That all belongs to Stephanie Meyer. And the song at the end is by Coldplay- Fix you. With that said, I would like to thank my wonderful beta, who has given me nothing but the best advice. Thanks Trine.

Emergency Authors Note!!!!!!!!! Now this story doesn't immediately set the stage for a happy ever after, but I promise you, despite wonderful Jacob being in many of the first chapters, and despite the boundaries they push THIS IS A BELLA/EDWARD ff. So calm down, and allow what ever happens to happen and know that it will all be worth it in the end. This is following the "what if" Bella never attempted to jump, thus Alice never seeing a vision, equaling Edward having not come home yet

I looked down at the beautiful creature in my arms. She was currently shaking her head into my chest, and her body swayed while she mumbled his name. But this wasn't uncommon. I had grown quite used to her reaching out for him in her sleep and pushing the thought of him away while awake. My big, rough hands clumsily tried to tuck some hair behind her delicate ear. She smiled against me and snuggled in closer. It was moments like these that were pure torture for me. Here I was with the woman I loved securely in my arms, her body pressed against mine and I couldn't do anything about it.

The funny thing about Bella was that I had made the decision long ago that I would never let anything hurt her, including myself. I learned that any pain she felt, was pain I felt too. I thought that when her "Prince Charming" left her it would open a door for me, and make me happy.

Well it did, at first. But that happiness was short lived. She loved him, more then I could ever hope for her to love me. Of course, I know in my heart that she did love me, but the love she had for me could never hold a candle to the flame that burned in her heart for…..I couldn't even think his name.

Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he left. And I loved the feeling I got from the knowledge that it was ME who was the cause of every smile she gave lately. But feeling this happiness when the girl beside me was so obviously suffering made me more of a monster then I already was. What if he ever came back? What if she truly wants him back? What would I do then? I would do anything that would make her happy, but could I honestly walk away and leave her with that creature. I will step aside, I think. It would kill, and I never want it to come down to that. But when you love someone, you will do anything for them; even sacrifice your own happiness I suppose. Anything that Bella wants, I will do for her.

"Jake?" Her eyes fluttered open and I could see the tears already forming in them. This was not an uncommon way for her to awake. I tried to brush them away with my thumb, but she quickly buried her head in my shirt. I felt the sobs wracking her body as her small delicate fists clung to my shirt. I had no idea of what to do now. No many how many times it happens, is any man prepared to deal with a crying woman? I don't believe in telling crying people that it would be okay, because sometimes you couldn't guarantee that. I also don't believe in telling them to be quiet, calm down, or the elusive "shhh", because everyone had a right to cry. So instead I stroked her hair, and waited for her to tell me about it. She would tell me about it because we were best friends, and so nothing was off limits. Best Friends. That title had changed many times over the past couple months. There was no way to label what we had, because what we had was, honestly, whatever she wanted it to be.

Without warning, I remembered the first time I tried to kiss her. I remember her laughing about something stupid on her doorstep. There was a moment where the porch light reflected her beautiful, and in that moment, happy face. Her eyes appeared to be glimmering. I can even recall the tingle that went through my body like a bolt. I felt my hands lightly taking her face in my hands before my brain had made the conscious decision. Right as my lips were about to touch hers, I looked into her eyes. She resembled a deer stuck in the headlights. She seemed frozen to the spot, just looking at me. I could almost hear the thoughts running through her head. In her eyes I could see the confusion, the boundaries. And with that one glance I kissed her forehead and walked away.

The truth of the matter was that I had to make a lot of decisions beforehand when it came to Bella. I knew that she loved me, and that the love she had for me was stronger then most teenage relationships. But the love wasn't that one of a kind, "knock-your-socks-off" love. If given time it could grow into that, but at face value it just wasn't. Our love wasn't brother/sister love either. I didn't think either of us knew what kind of love ours would classify as. But it was not the "Edward" love that she had experienced. I decided to let Bella make the first moves. And make them she did.

"It was the same dream." She mumbled, breaking up my thoughts. "He was there, and telling me he didn't want me," at this my fists clenched. I didn't understand how a man could have the perfect woman and her love, and just throw it away.

"But this time," She started quietly, "I wanted revenge. I can't explain it. I have never felt that before. It was so random, so unjustified." I looked curiously at her and she avoided my glance. She focused instead on tracing the patterns on my shirt with her finger. I was about to ask but then she continued.

"I wanted to prove I could do without him, I wanted to scream in his face. I wanted to do something other then beg him to come back. So I-" She looked up hesitantly, her sharp eyes boring into mine. I tried to nod to get her to continue, and she took the hint.

"I told him to F off." She looked so guilty then, that I couldn't help the laugh that built in my chest. Her eyes flashed in anger and she tried to hit me. When her fist connected with my chest it made a huge cracking noise. Immediately she pulled back her fist and tried to hide the pain she was feeling with the anger towards me. This only made me laugh more. She angrily got off the bed, and I followed her, trying to make my way around the room.

She had recently redecorated and moved things around, the reason being that was I to climb in her window every night and sleep in her bed, she didn't want to wrongly associate me with the Romeo that had done such months ago.

I grabbed her in my arms in a tight bear hug and lifted her over my shoulder. I could feel her fighting against me, and that made me smile more. I gently dropped her on the bed and she tried, unsuccessfully, to evade me. I lightly pinned her small wrists to the bed and tried to make her look into my eyes. She rebelliously refused. I started kissing her head, her forehead, trying to get her to look at me. Finally, her eyes in tight slits, glared at me unconvincingly.

"Bella," I said, trying to hold back the new waves of laughter I could feel building up. "You can't even say the F word." She looked at me, this time with confusion. "You have never said the f word before, this being proven with the fact that you call it the f word. And you say it in a dream, to a man that fully deserves it, and you think that you have done the worst thing in this world." I started laughing again and let go of her wrist long enough to brush some messed up hair out of her eyes. She just stared at me in shock.

"I don't understand you sometimes, Jacob Black." She shook her head, while staring at me. At that exact moment my eyes fell to her parted lips. All the scenarios of what I wanted to do went through my mind, all my instincts telling me to lean just a little forward and capture her mouth in mine. But with a sigh I got up and went back to the top of the bed and hid underneath the cushions. As always, the first move had to be up to her.

She got off the edge of the bed, and came to join me. She snuggled close to me and I wrapped my arms around her. As she tried to fall back into a slumber I felt her shift her body against mine. Oh yes, Bella Swan was going to be the death of me.

"Jake?" She asked very quietly.

"Yes Bella?" I already knew what she was going to ask, I was used to our dynamics.

"Will you…" She didn't seem able to finish her sentence.

"What will it be?" I asked, not bothering to ask what she meant any more.

"I don't care."

It was ritual, every night after she has woken up from a nightmare I would sing her to sleep. I was sane enough to know never to sing to her when she was fully awake, and yet crazy about her enough to do anything she asked. I had a feeling the singing comforted her so much because it was something he used to do, but I never breached the subject. Instead I found that singing to her was my escape. It was the one time I could express how I truly felt about her without her getting the opportunity to shy away. I truly thought that every time I sang to her, she was already incoherent enough that she didn't realize how carefully I chose the songs. I often pondered if she ever put the pieces together. I allowed myself to pull her in closer. I gently breathed in her ear and she shivered.

"Okay, but you are better at this then I am." She tried to turn around to see me, no doubt wondering what I meant. "I heard you singing while doing the dishes." I explained. I couldn't be sure but I was willing to bet a nice heat was spreading to her cheeks. But before she could get too embarrassed, I started the song.

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse?" I felt her tense around me, so maybe this time she was listening this time. I knew I had struck a chord, but for once I needed to do something for me. Maybe she would never understand, heck, I didn't understand.

"And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worst?" I felt her turn to look at me but I softly started stroking her back. I knew it hurt, but it was one of those moments I knew had to happen. There were those songs one heard and they filled something inside, a hole one didn't know was waiting to be filled. A song that felt like life had been summed up in a few sentences and one can relate to such a point it takes all breath away.

"Lights will guide you home, And ignite your bones, And I will try to fix you." I felt her relax against me. I couldn't understand this action. Was she really listening to the song? Did she tune it out now that she realized it had nothing to do with the boy?

"High up above or down below. When you're too in love to let it go. But if you never try you'll never know. Just what you're worth." I heard her voice calm and her breathing start to slow. I knew that she was falling asleep against me. And despite my original response I wanted to shake her, wake her up and make her realize what I was trying to say.

"Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you." I recognized the signs that she was being lured into sleep. And unconsciously she tried to meld her body into mine.

"Tears stream down your face. When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face. And I. Tears stream down your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. Tears stream down on your face. And I" I looked at her, and knew for a fact that she was fully asleep now. I brushed hair away from her eyes, and felt my heart fall a little into the empty space of the night. To the silent room I finished my thoughts to the angel beside me.

"Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones.
And I will try
to fix you"