AN: Welcome to the mad ramblings of my brain.

Because this is fanfiction, the key word being FAN, all the Espadas are alive and living (almost) peacefully with Soul Reapers. Gin survived and was forgiven.

Mayuri and Szayel are NOT friends, accomplices or anything of the sort. They are rival (evil) just joined together to get rid of a common enemy.

I guess this makes my fanfic slightly AU. If you see anything that doesn't seem to be canon, use your imagination. This is a fanfic and I will do whatever I want with it. No flames please. They hurt.

If you look hard enough at my story, you could probably find tens of millions of pairings that I have accidentally written. I don't plan on having any pairings in this story, but squint and you'll probably find some. :-)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach.

Prologue : Finally, Revenge.

Mayuri was sick of being pranked by Rukia and Gin. Szayel was sick of Grimmjow pranking him. They'd had enough. So they put their minds together and came up with a master plan to make sure that they were never pranked again. Yes, their plan might be a little over the top but they felt that it was necessary to get rid of the culprits forever. They couldn't just go and kill them as that would be annoying because they would put up a fight and the Head Captain would not be happy. So they had to come up with some other devious way to get rid of them. They decided to get rid of them and play the biggest prank ever at the same time. And because this is Mayuri and Szayel we are talking about, it was a cruel plan. But, it was a smart plan (duh).

All they had to do was make the potion, somehow feed it to their culprits and chuck them through the Senkimon. Simple enough. Or so they thought.

Nothing was ever as easy as it seems. This time was no exception.

Their plan had gone brilliantly until now.

Now they had two extras to deal with. As they stared through the door at the scene, they started wondering if maybe, just maybe, they went too far.

No, there was an easy solution to this problem. Just chuck the extras through the Senkimon too. Problem solved.

Now I suppose you're all wondering what happened. Let me take you back to earlier that day.

"Ahhhhh." Sighed Yumichika, stretching out on a roof top next to Ikkaku. "What a beautiful day."

And beautiful it was. The sun high in the sky and crickets chirping, no-one wanted the day to end.

Ikkaku agreed. "Yep. Lovely day it is. Now if only there was someone to fight."

"Fighting on such a day is ugly." Said Yumichika in typical Yumichika fashion. "Why not do something pretty? Like a party."

Ikkaku bolted upright. "You know, that's a great idea."

And so the preparations began. News raced around the Soul Society faster than Yourichi with a dog on her tail. Everyone wanted to go. Rangiku and Shunsui started gathering all the sake they could find for the evening. Somehow, Ichigo and his friends got word of the party and they had been invited too. Byakuya was rifling through his closet, looking for the perfect gear, most likely some regal looking thing that costs millions. Kenpachi had run off somewhere, probably looking for Ichigo and Grimmjow had followed hoping for a fight too. Gin and Rukia had locked themselves in room and every now and then evil giggles could be heard if you stood right outside the door, just like Renji was doing. Toshiro was in a grump, realising that it was being held in the tenth division barracks, courtesy of Rangiku.

When Mayuri and Szayel heard about this, they grinned. Perfect timing. They had just finished their potion and were satisfied that it was going to work. So they started making their own preparations.

By the time evening had rolled around, the venue for the party had been decorated magnificently. Food and sake lined the tables along the walls, inviting shinigami, arrancar, vizard, quincy, human or whatever to come take a bite. Music was playing in the background and space had been cleared for dancing.

Finally, the doors were opened and everyone streamed in.

Within the first hour, Rangiku and Shunsui were drunk and dancing around to their own rythm. People like Ikkaku, Renji, Izuru and surprisingly, Shuhei and Starrk were quick to follow suit. Lilynette and Yachiru seemed to be bouncing off the walls, probably thanks to the massive amounts of candy they had consumed throughout the course of the day. Somehow, someone coughginandrukiacough had managed to slip sake into Byakuya and Ulquorria's drink and they were dancing together looking like a happy, gay couple. Ichigo was hiding under a table, while Kenpachi and Grimmjow fought, having given up on Ichigo appearing. Zommari was smoking something (don't ask) and Aaionero was checking out Yumichika. Nnoitra was last seen bringing out a gigantic spork and vowing to destroy all spoons in the vicinity. Obviously drunk. Toshiro and Barragan were both sulking in opposite corners of the room. Jyushiro had fainted in yet another corner and Retsu and Hanataro were tending to him. Isane and Nanao were having a girly discussion. Orihime had been dragged along with Rangiku. Uryu was sewing. Yes, sewing. And the list goes on and on but I would be here all day trying to list it. You get the picture.

About three hours into the party, things were starting to settle into a rhythm and everyone had found their place in the room. Well, except for a missing Harribel who hadn't been seen since Nnoitra reappeared and threatned her with his huge spork. Actually, make that two people missing. Nnoitra was gone too. Suspicious? definitely.

Mayuri and Szayel, huddled in opposite corners of the room decided to take action. They had already planned out who was doing who and all the stuff like that. There was no way it could go wrong.

Mayuri left his corner and Szayel left his, making Toshiro and Baragan breathe a sigh of relief. They were once again the only people...err..shinigami...errr... and arrancar in the corners.

Mayuri sidled up to Gin, and while he wasn't looking, slipped a drink into his hand. Mayuri moved to hide behind part of the crowd, but made sure he could still watch.

Gin absentmindedly raised the glass to his mouth and took a sip.

Mayuri smiled. One down, three to go. He moved off to go onto the next victim, Rukia.

What Mayuri didn't see was a drunk Shuhei stumble up to Gin, take the drink out of his hand and down the rest.

Gin grimaced suddenly, a change from his usual grin. He flapped his hand at anyone who was listening and told them he was going for a breather in the back room (AKA Toshiros room.). After a few seconds, Shuhei mumbled an excuse and left too.

Meanwhile, Szayel had finally managed to convince Grimmjow to stopped fighting Kenpachi and was offering Grimmjow the drink.

But Grimmjow was stubbornly refusing to drink it. Something about not trusting Szayel because the last time he had drunk something Szayel had given him, he had bats (Ulquorria included) following him around for days.

But Szayel had known this would happen and he planned ahead.

"It'll make you stronger." He said temptingly, waving the innocent looking drink under Grimmjows nose.

"Stronger?" Inquired Grimmjow curiously.

Szayel nodded vigorisly. "Strong enough to beat Kenpachi in one hit."

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow, slightly sceptical. "Okay..."

He plucked the drink out of Szayels hand and took a sip.

Szayels grin grew wider. Grimmjow frowned. "That did nothing. Goddamnit Szayel, what did you give me?"

Szayel disappeared, not wanting to get involved anymore.

Grimmjow growled and turned around. He noticed Ichigo trying to sneak out from under a table unnoticed.

Grimmjow smiled. May as well give Ichigo some potion too. Then he can hide away and watch what Ichigo does.

He stalked over. Ichigo looked up, a worried look on his face. "Crap. Grimmjow wha-glurghgughlglgug."

Grimmjow tipped the rest of the potion down Ichigos throat.

Ichigo coughed and spat. "What the hell Grimmjow."

In response, Grimmjow doubled over, in pain. "Going to take a breather." He slowly made his way towards the back room.

Ichigo shrugged, slightly confused but pissed at Grimmjow.

He straightened himself up, and left the table behind him.

"Grrggg" The pain hit him. What the hell had Grimmjow just fed him? Hopefully it wasn't drugs or poison or anything like that.

Ichigo started making his way to the back room too.

Szayel, unaware of the two extras, smiled. His job was done. Only Rukia left to go and Mayuri was doing that.

Somewhere else in the crowed room, Mayuri was having trouble finding Rukia. He had spotted her once and the second eye contact was made, she had giggled amd disappeared. He hoped she wasn't getting ready to play a prank on him.

Mayuri rounded the next gathering of people, consisting of... No. It couldn't be. Kisuke Urahara and Yourichi Shihoun. What were hell were they doing here? Technically, they're still banished. But the Soul Society has been rather alack about that recently.

Mayuri immediately turned around, and headed of the other way, wanting to avoid a meeting. Luckily, luck was on his side (For once.). Mayuri managed to get away without incident.

Then, he saw Rukia. She was with a group of unknown soul reapers, showing them a picture of what looked like...Chappy. Where did this woman learn to draw? It was horrible.

Mayuri pulled the potion out of one of his many pockets and grabbed an empty glass from a table conveniently placed nearby. He poured the potion into the glass and told a passing waiter to give it to Rukia.

The waiter nodded, familiar with the Lieutenant.

Mayuri disappeared so Rukia didn't know who told the waiter to give it to her. He knew the waiter would never mention it was Mayuri, because Mayuri had come in disguise. (And no, it wasn't a clown outfit.)

He watched once again from behind a gaggle of people.

Rukia took the drink, thanking the waiter and looked around for her mystery supplier. There was no guys around, well Zommari was around. But seriously? Zommari? He was high and going on about the...the...the...Purple Blanket Monster?! Huh? It eats beds? And people? And it likes...hugs and...abducting aliens so it can...tell them its life story?!

Anyway. Rukia shrugged and downed the whole thing. Mission success. A few seconds later she quickly and quietly made her way to the back room. For some fresh air. Like four others had. Gosh, what a coincidence. NOT!

A couple more hours later and the party was coming to an end and none of those five had made another appearance. Toshiro had been unable to go back to his captains room because Aaionero was hanging around and no-one wanted to get near him. Except for Charlotte. You know, Cuulhorne. The... God, it's too alarming. Just, you know, the hair and the...the... No. I'm not going there. But Charlotte wasn't around anymore.

Szayel approached Aaionero. "Good job. You can go now."

Aaioneros female voice answered. "Anytime." And left the vicinity.

Mayuri came soon after, out of his disguise. Why he had one in the first place is unknown.

"Ready for the final stage of the plan?" Mayuri asked.

Szayel glared. "Been ready for ages."

Mayuri shrugged and they opened the door.

This leads us to where I was before. You know, the extras.

Mayuri and Szayel looked at the five bodies strewn around the room in random amounts of pain. Five. Not three, five. Somehow the substitute soul reaper and and lieutenant they didn't know the name of had manged to have some of their potion too.

But, the substitute belongs in the world of the living anyway and the nameless lieutenant couldn't be that important. Nameless. Nah. It'd be fine. It was just a bonus.

After opening the Senkimon, Mayuri and Szayel got ready to chuck the pain riddled bodies through. Then they stopped.

The bodies. The damn bodies. The silly people weren't going to be able to get through the Dongai Precipice World in their state.

Mayuri looked at Szayel. "I'll call Nemu. We should be able to carry them between the three of of us."

Szayel agreed, having no better plans.

So Nemu was called and they made it through the Dongai Precipice World without any accidents. Namely, the cleaner.

Just before they left the five bodies in the middle of nowhere (a desert to be exact), Mayuri pulled something out of one of his many, many pockets.

It was a small pack of pills. Szayels mouth opened in shock. "Are those what I think they are?"

"Yes," replied Mayuri. "They are exactly what you think they are. These pills will immediately make a Gigai once swallowed."

Szayel laughed. "Wow. You sure have some great inventions. Perfection."

Mayuri frowned.

Szayel bit his tounge.

"Nemu feed one to each." Mayuri tossed the pill packet to Nemu.

"Yes, father." Nemu made sure that everyone swallowed their pills. They all immediately fell unconscious.

And without another glance back all three entered the Senkimon and made their way back to the Soul Society.

AN: And there ends the first chapter. I hope you liked it. I didn't bother to research all of the correct spelling because the internet was down when I wrote this. Please, if you any spelling mistakes, tell me. I'm amazed, this is actually my longest chapter for anything yet.

Review. It only takes a few seconds.

-MehLikey