Hey everyone… if any of you read my first fan fiction, you probably noticed that it sucked. But never fear, because I can assure you this one is much better. The problem with the other one was that I didn't make chapters long enough and the plot line had problems… and I hit a brick wall after my cliffhanger. But I deleted it, so now it's as if the horrid thing never existed. Anyway, this fanfic involves Rihanna's "Say My Name" but only a small part of it. Also, I plan on this being a one-shot, but if you would like to see it extended, then go ahead and throw some ideas at me. By the way, I pictured Kelly Clarkson's "Already Gone" playing in the background of the scene between Josh and Kate.
Disclaimer: If I owned Castle, Esposito and Lanie would have a double up wedding ceremony with Beckett and Castle. Unfortunately, I don't. But never say never… (Why did Justin Bieber have to ruin that phrase for everyone?)
Kate Beckett had taken a day off. It was the first time since, well, since she had started at the twelfth. Well, other than when she had had to take time off last summer after the nearly fatal gunshot wound delivered from the hit man at Montgomery's funeral. She had taken three months of vacation time, but she had only needed two months to physically recover. The last month was to put herself back together emotionally, because Montgomery's death had affected her almost as much as her mother's.
Of course, Castle had tried to help her put the pieces back in order, but she had continued to shove him away. In all honesty, she had heard Castle when he anxiously told her that he loved her after she had been shot, but the way he said the words, "I love you", it scared her. He sounded wounded, almost as if he loved her so much that it hurt. Beckett decided to ignore the situation because she was emotionally a wimp, and was afraid to explore her feelings for fear that she would find out exactly what she felt towards Richard Castle and to what extent.
The way Kate figured, taking time off for recuperation didn't count because that had been necessary as well as involuntary. She had taken the day off today because after Montgomery's death, a new boss had been assigned, and Beckett hated him. His name was Justin Case, and he was a real prick. Very sexist, his state of mind stuck in the 1930's. He was always grumbling to himself when he thought no one was paying attention about how women are in-house workers, and that they should be used for satisfaction of men, not working in public. That really pissed Kate off. But she knew there was nothing she, Esposito, Ryan, or Castle could do about it. Although, Castle had threatened to stand up to him more than once, especially after Case had gotten too close to Kate for comfort, and tried to hit second base. She straightened that one out quickly enough, calmly explaining to Case that she knew almost every pressure point in the body, and was a four year student at a martial arts place that taught kickboxing.
Anyway, while she had a day off, she decided to listen to the stereo while she cleaned her house top to bottom. Josh had come over because surprisingly enough, he hadn't been called to work or Africa. Kate was glad he was there because due to their conflicting schedules, they hadn't spent much time together recently. But Beckett couldn't help but wish that it was Castle standing there, smiling at her and humming along with the radio, rather than Josh, spending the limited time they had together asleep on the couch while she vacuumed around him. Rihanna's song "What's My Name" was playing, and Kate was singing with it.
"You're so amazing, you took the time to figure me out, that's why you take me, way past the point of turning me on, you tried to break me, I swear you've got me losing my mind…"
She wasn't sure why, but for some reason, she really loved that song. That particular part reminded her a lot of… "Castle," Beckett breathed, finally making the connection. Actually, she was more or less admitting it to herself, because she had known all along, but chose to continue ignoring and denying her feelings. Kate was dazed, analyzing the years spent with Castle, her reactions to everything he's said or done for her, and everything she's said and done for him. All of the information came to the same result. She… loved him. Or more specifically, was in love with him. Castle. Richard Castle. After all this time skirting around the elephant in the room like an ignorant child, Kate had finally come to the only realistic conclusion. And she wouldn't waste any more time denying herself the happiness she deserved.
She turned towards Josh and shook him awake. "Wha… oh. Hi, Katie. Josh leaned forward and kissed Kate's cheek. "Sorry I fell asleep, but I-" "Josh," she interrupted, looking downward and biting her lip before continuing "I can't do this anymore." "What?" The emotions splayed across his face rapidly transformed from confusion, to anger, and finally settled on pain. "Are you breaking up with me?" Josh looked like an abused puppy, but suddenly his somber expression turned into a sadistic smile.
"It's Castle, isn't it? I always knew he'd take you away from me. He has every advantage. He knew you first, he gets to spend almost every day with you, and he's gotten to play your prince charming and knight in shining armor every time." Josh sighed before continuing,"Before I go, Kate…" Josh's face fell once again, and showed only devastation of their ending relationship, and the two of them both understood now that it had ended before it really began. Josh tipped Kate's chin toward him, kissed her softly, and headed towards the door. "Goodbye, Katherine. Make sure Castle takes care of you. Let him give you everything I couldn't."
A tear slipped across Kate's cheek. "Wait, Josh." He turned around, pleading with his eyes for her to let him go. "Take care of yourself." Josh nodded, stepped out of Kate's loft, and quietly shut the door behind him. The soft click of the door finalized the ending of their relationship. Kate let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. She felt oddly relieved, but it made sense after she thought about it. Kate had figured out long ago that her relationship with Josh hadn't been healthy.
She picked up her phone and dialed the familiar number, listening to the ringing before a voice she knew like the trigger of her gun rasped a half awake, "Hello?" Hi, Cas- uh, Rick. It's Kate. I, um, wanted to talk to you. In person." They set for Rick to go to Kate's apartment, and he volunteered to bring Chinese takeout. Kate asked him why he was sleeping when she called, and he defensively responded that Alexis kept him up late watching 1960's B-movies, before inquiring as to what had caused the sudden change from formal last names to casual firsts. Beckett quickly explained that it was overdue since they've been friends for so long, then hesitatingly added that she actually meant to say it was part of the reason she'd asked him to come over. They talked for a bit longer before Castle said they could socialize more after he got to her place.
Beckett pressed the "end-call" button and leaned against the wall. She knew that Rick had claimed to love her, but it could've just been an act of desperation, considering she had been staring death in the face when he'd said so. But still, everything they've been through counted for something. After all, actions speak louder than words, and many of the actions that have taken place between the two (saving each other's lives multiple times, physically and emotionally) pointed to the fact that he at least cared a lot for her, and vice versa. She also knew that most everyone else seemed to think that they were meant for each other. The only thing Kate knew for sure was that now that she was finally being honest with herself, it felt as if a portion of the world had been taken off her shoulders.
Rick's knocking interrupted her thoughts. "Kate? I brought the Chinese." I wasn't sure if you wanted sweet and sour chicken or that weird beef noodle stuff, so I got both." Kate smiled and turned the door knob. Regardless of how Rick felt, Kate knew that telling him wouldn't be a mistake. And his caring and curious face greeting her once the door was pulled open only made her more sure that her decision was the right one.
~Reviews are greatly appreciated~