Hashirama, World's Worst Matchmaker

by Silverlight10243

In which Hashirama decides to solve the issues of clan politics through the rather... uncanny methods of marriage and his rival, Madara Uchiha's blind little brother becomes the first victim. Tobirama is flabbergasted, Madara is fuming, Toka is enraged, Izuna is shocked. Hashirama really isn't the world's brightest matchmaker... (Microfic, Crackfic, Sitcom) Sequel up!

1. Chapter 1

"Brother, no! We've talked about this before, the Uchiha's may pose a dangerous threat to the village! You know a lot of them were displeased about you being elected Hokage," Tobirama tried to convince his brother, the Shodai Hokage Hashirama Senju.

"Still, give them a chance! Isolating them in the Konoha Military Police quarter's just doesn't add up!" Hashirama explained fervently. "Besides," he grinned, "I have a much, much more better plan."

Tobirama looked a little uneasy.

"Come on! My plans are never that bad! Konoha was partly my idea and look how it turned out!"

The younger of the two shook his head in defeat, "all right, let me hear it first."

"Marriage!" Hashirama exclaimed, "Marriage is the key!"

Tobirama Senju facepalmed. "What the-"