Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly. But I do own my broken heart after seeing Sam's expression when Freddie mentioned about breaking-up….. dang it. Rated T for some minor cursing, however, enjoy.
Sam opened the unlocked front door of her little house. She knew that her mom must have been gone… somewhere. And she didn't even give a shit.
She wasn't going to give a shit about anything. She wouldn't care about anything.
Because she had just broken up with Freddie Benson. Damn it, when did she turn into such a pathetic girl who cried over her ex-boyfriend?
She kept telling herself that it was the best for them. They weren't meant to love each other as lovers, but just… friends. She was as sure as hell that someday, somewhere, she would find someone that really clicked with her that way. And she hoped that he would find a girl who meant to be the love of his life.
However, she was still unsure about how she felt towards Freddie. She loved him, she really did. These weeks, being his girlfriend, had been really fun. She loved all his touches and kisses, she loved all the cuddling and hugging, heck, she also loved how she turned to be such a lovey-dovey girl just because of him. And she didn't mind at all.
But Freddie was right. They had hated each other, and wasn't it weird that they suddenly became a lovey-dovey couple? Yes, it was. This relationship wasn't right. They needed to get back to how they used to be: frenemies.
Sam took off her jacket and her shoes and threw them across the living room (yeah, she didn't care at all). After grabbing the last pack of low-fat Fatcake from the cabinet, she ran to her bedroom and slammed the door shut with her foot. She laid on her bed and ripped the plastic that wrapped the Fatcake. She took a bite of the cake and now she was in heaven.
The fatcake melted inside her mouth and she couldn't help but moan in pleasure, tasting the beauty of the cake. Only this awesome cake—and meat, of course—that could help her get through all the rough situations.
But as soon as she took the last bite of the fatcake, all the pleasure and the fantasy of living on an island full of Fatcake Trees that produce twenty Fatcakes every ten minutes, were gone. And now the reality came back.
She had lost Freddie. And even though they had sworn that they would keep being good friends without making awkward situations (after making out until midnight in the elevator), she was so damn sure that nothing was going to be the same again.
Why was she so stupid? Why wouldn't she try to be better for him? Why couldn't she be a good girlfriend who would accept every bit of his dorkiness, nerdiness, geekiness, nubbines and all those damned chiz? Hell, she even got him kicked out of that model train club—oh, and don't forget about the N.E.R.D camp incident. Why did she have to ruin his life all the time?
She threw the wrapping plastic into the trashcan and then walked to grab her PearPod from her table. She put on the earphones as she threw herself on the bed and press the "play" button. A random song started playing…
… but then she realized that it wasn't just a random song.
It was their song, their song, that had been played during… their first kiss.
Yes, she still remembered it. She still constantly thought about that night when they both shared their first kiss together (yeah, again, after nearly ruining his life). Why wouldn't she remember it? It was unforgettable.
Did I tell you I knew your name? But it seems like I've lost it
Did I tell you it's my own game? This is not your problem
She still remembered how she "commanded" Freddie to lean forward. And then their lips met. His lips touched hers and she could swear that she felt… something unusual inside her tummy. Butterflies, maybe? No, it's not that she was trying to sound cliché or something but she swore that she had been feeling something weird ever since their first kiss…
But, yeah, Freddie was cute when he was laying on the ground, moaning, blood coming out his ears. That was the moment when she realized that he was cute and that her "weird feelings" were… you know… love... maybe? Hey, Sam Puckett wasn't the most romantic person after all.
And, uh, she admitted Freddie was the best thing that she ever had…
I don't know if I'm gonna change, wasting time and another day…
She kept wasting time. She had him right in beside her, but all she did was… ruining his life… and his chances to go to that nerdy college and be the most dorkiest nub on earth—hey, no offense to all the nubs out there.
Did I tell you it's not that bad? Sitting over here, dreaming.
Did I tell you I'm right on track? This time I mean it.
She looked at the bedside table where a photo frame was standing. She took it and touched the photo. It was taken at their date at Pini's… a few minutes before they started another argument and then Carly left them after stealing their plates of lasagna.
She was so happy. It was true. He looked so happy. It was also true.
And then… why did they break up after all? Everything was beautiful. Why should she let go?
They were happy together. They weren't forcing their relationship into boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Maybe, they couldn't click that way yet, but they could try, right? They could slowly try to understand each other without making the relationship look like it was forced, they would eventually find a way to make their relationship work. They always kissed and made up, right? Then this one little problem wouldn't matter. They could easily make it work without forcing everything. Wasn't that easy? Right? She kept telling that in her mind.
I keep running away, even from the good things…
She put the frame back on the bedside table. This time, she ain't running away. This time, she would keep the good things with her. This time… no more leaving… no more hiding… no more pretending... no more escaping. She would fight to show him—and the other people out there—that their relationship was not weird. She would prove them wrong. She would show them that she and Freddie would stay together, as strong as they could be, and nothing could ever break them apart. And, NO, their relationship was NOT a forced boyfriend-girlfriend thingy!
She didn't wanna run away from him anymore. He was the best thing she ever had, she might never find someone as good as him in the future. She didn't wanna lose him. No, never.
Sam got up from her bed and ran quickly to her living room to grab her jacket and shoes. She glanced at the clock on the wall—two twenty-seven a.m in the morning, she didn't give a damn. She opened the front door, lock it, and got inside her own car.
Now or never, she was going to tell Freddie how much he meant to her. Bushwell Plaza, here I come…
A/N: I'm sorry if this fic was kinda weird or something. I just needed to write something about this episode…
So, i planned on writing the next chap for my other fics after watching iLove You, but the episode turned out to be so heartbreaking and now my shipping heart is shattered. I don't feel like writing the chapters right now so maybe i'll continue those stories next week. Like seriously, i feel really heartbroken.
One: I'm going to avoid ANY elevators for now. It just hurts too much. I just can't take it anymore.
Two: I'm going to crawl in my bed with my iPod on, listening to all Seddie song until my pillow is wet.
Three: ... UGGGGHHHH DAN, WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYY? I love you but THIS IS UNFAAAAAAAAIIIIIIRRRRR! THEY NEED TO STAY TOGETHER.
I personally loved the episode. i don't hate it, i'm just kinda disappointed by the ending. It was hilarious, though. I loved Spencer's former babysitter, Jenna. And i couldn't stop laughing while she and Gibby watched the TV together… oh, Gibby. AND THE PRISON SCENE! OMFG Freddie/Nathan's butt... I just can't... omg. He was so sexy though. HA!
But then... Carly speaking to Spencer and Jenna... and Seddie overheard her. And the elevator scene... gosh. I wanna cry.
Can you NOTICE that SAM looked like she was going to CRY? Especially after Freddie said "I love you..." *OHMYGOD I CRIED.* and Sam turned around and said (her voice cracked a bit...) "I... love you, too." AND THEY KISSED. .KISSED.... THAT MEANS THEY STILL LOVED EACH OTHER, RIGHT? AM I RIGHT?
Omg i just couldn't help but cry (no chiz, sam's face was so… oh my god I cant even describe it. SHE LOVED FREDDIE! SHE REALLY DID). That wasnt what i friggin expected. The title was iLove You, i never thought that they would break up! NOOOO! THEY ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER! Gaaaaah! And the ending was reallllly confusing. Did they break up or what? And have you read Dan's tweet? UUUGH i'm really confused.
Okay, so, i think that's enough talking. R&R, guys:)