The characters and setting of this story are the intellectual property of Bisco Hatori, not my own. Fun little story about Usa-chan, who I imagine would be a cranky old man. Enjoy.
Ugh, another day of this shit, Usa-chan thought to himself. His mind was fully awake as the dull light began making its way through the shades. He laid still next to his master, the man child that he was. It was largely because of him that he had active consciousness. His master treated him so much like a living, breathing being that he could think, though he couldn't verbalize his emotions. The other part was due to the love that his grandmother had put into every stitch while making him. Thanks, Baa-baa.
The young man next to him stirred, showing signs that he was beginning to wake up. He was always such an unpleasant little shit when he first woke up. Some people weren't morning people and would be irritable, but he was a different story. Instead of mildly cranky, he downright bitter, insufferable and extremely violent if woken too early. There was this one time that he was fairly certain that there had been an altercation with military personnel, but that could have all been a dream; it was all kind of fuzzy to him now.
Slowly, his master stretched and yawned, turning to face him. One arm hugged onto Usa-chan while the other used his little hand to rub his barely opened eyes. He cuddled his head right onto him and yawned again. Morning breath, kid, you have the worst morning breath ever. It's all that damn candy. Someday, you'll have no teeth. Mark my words, it will happen.
"Good morning, Usa-chan," he said in a sleepy voice. "Did you sleep well?"
Kid, I can't answer. Why do you always ask me questions when you know that I can't answer you?
"I did too. Lets go get some breakfast!"
He grabbed him by his pink little arm, almost breaking the stitching and moved quickly out of his bunny themed bedroom. Usa-chan bobbed up and down with every step, feeling dizzy as his master swung him merrily through the hallways of his home without disregard. At least he's always happy when he's fully awake.
His master, whom his friends called "Honey", was a very loving soul. There was no animosity in his small body, and held no grudges. This was completely contradictory to when he was fighting, being the celebrated martial artist that he was. Then he was a weapon in his own right. If it came to it, he would, and could, defend his friends to the death, and would defend Usa-chan beyond that. Once you had his love, you could never lose it.
"Breakfast" that morning, like every other morning, consisted of cake and other assorted sweets. The kid ran on nothing more than refined sugar most days. It was absolutely appalling to watch him consume what he considered a "healthy" diet in the quantities that he was able to. But each morning, without fail, he would load a plate with his food and set out a plate for Usa-chan to eat right next to him.
"If you're not going to eat your food, do you mind if I have it?" he asked, grabbing the plate immediately.
Asshole, what if this was the morning that I wanted my cake? You always take it without me even having a chance to say no. Selfish dick.
Honey finished his sugar and went to ready himself for school. It was surprising how much time he spent prepping and priming himself. He would shower, then make sure his hair framed his young looking face just right so that when he would look like he had playful bedhead all day. It was rather vapid and shallow of him, always concerned about his appearance. That's the duty of a Host! He would hear that all day long. All. Day. Long.
The door opened slowly as a familiar face walked through, looking cautiously about. Takashi's, or Mori as the others called him, tall figure moved slowly towards where Honey was preparing himself. "Mitsukuni, are you ready to go?" he said, his deep voice serious and caring simultaneously.
"Takashi!" came Honey's excited, high voice. He came bounding out of the bathroom, grabbing Usa-chan on his way by. Leaping into Mori's arms, he gave a laugh, thrilled as always to see his cousin. Their relationship always made him feel mildly uncomfortable. There was only a few more people, and by people he meant Hosts, that could make him feel more awkward, and he was sure that he would be in their company soon enough.
They entered the car that was waiting out front for them, Mori to one side and his master to the other. Honey strapped himself in then took his time to very carefully make sure his Usa-chan was safely seated before the vehicle began to move. Kid, I can't be hurt from a crash. I fear a playful dog more than I fear getting into a car crash. These restraints absolutely suck."
"Takashi? Can we stop and get something to eat before we get to school? I didn't have anytime to have something this morning. Maybe we could get some cake?"
Little liar. Your breath still reeks from the pure sugar you ate less than an hour ago.
"No, Mitsukuni," Mori said. He must have seen right through Honey's words. "We can get you something to eat later when we get to school. You don't want to keep everyone waiting for us."
Honey sighed, knowing that he never got his way with Mori. Usa-chan had seen it time and time again. It would piss his little master off at times, but he could see that it was always in the best interest of Honey. He couldn't understand their relationship at times. Were they cousins? Were they in a master/servant relationship? Were they borderline lovers? This was the part that made him feel uneasy. It was confusing and made his head hurt to think about.
The vehicle arrived at the school where they boys spent the majority of their days. Their families would claim that they were learning, but what they didn't know was that their education was not in the traditional education sense. This school was helping them learn to manipulate those around them to get their ways, though it wasn't advertised as part of the curriculum. They would spend most of their time having woman throw themselves a their feet and worship them as though they were gods themselves, all just because they would make the woman feel individual and special, five girls at a time. Kind of a fantastic ploy. Kudos.
Honey ran in circles around his cousin as they walked towards the entrance, Usa-chan ending up at times very close to being dragged across the ground at times. Mori simple kept moving forward towards the doors at a steady pace, guiding the hyper little master with each step. He wondered why he constantly allowed his cousin to act so young at times, but then he would remember how Honey's family had treated him as though he was an adult as soon as he could walk. Because he was so powerful, he never had the chance to have a childhood. Mori understood that, and would protect his desire to be young and young at heart for as long as he wanted it.
Compassion is a strange thing.
From the angle he was at, he knew that they were heading towards that room. Music Room 3. The bored girls would soon be showing up to spend time with the bored boys, which meant that Usa-chan would be put into full use by his little master. He would just be used like the toy that he was created to be. But the things he had seen; he could never be able to unsee some of the things he had bore witness to. Just the memory of some of the events made him shutter.
The room was brightly lit with plenty of shades of pink décor adorning the walls. He would have liked to have believed that the color choices had been specifically for the comfort of the woman who would spend time there; it wasn't. It was more for the comfort of the flamboyant Hosts themselves who thought it made them seem more sensitive. Ugh, they're going to make sorry excuses for men someday. Pampered little pansies.
He didn't see much this morning as Honey ran across the room, tossing him onto one of the many couches, face down before running away. This did not, however, stop him from being able to hear the conversations that were taking place.
"Morning Honey, morning Mori," someone said. He couldn't be sure, but it sounded like one of the twins. It didn't really matter which one to him. It was a game for them to be interchangeable. They would act as though they were one anyways, so he wasn't going to waste his time trying to learn who was who. Even if he did have a grasp on it one day, it would change the next. All it seemed like was a waste of time to try and differentiate them.
"Morning," Mori responded, with little enthusiasm.
"'orning," Honey said through a mouth full of what he could only assume was sweets. Damn, that kid wasted no time at all.
He could hear feet moving about, accompanied by a light scratching on paper. Must be Kyoya. I admire that kid. While this is all a game to most of them, he is using it create capital. He must be learning more from running this club than any class offered here anyways. I cant imagine all of the money he must be making by marketing his friends to the school. He was the only true brains in the club. Someday, that kid will own the world without anyone realizing he did it. What a brilliant mind he possessed.
"We have a good number of requests this morning for each of you," Kyoya stated, his tone serious and focused on the business at hand. "It will be a busy day all around. As always, the King has the most, and his guest will soon be arriving."
"Where is Tama-chan?" Honey inquired, concern in his voice and walked back over to the couch, picking up Usa-chan and giving him a tight hug.
He was finally able to see the room fully, taking in the entire scene. The twins were on a deep cushioned chair, intertwined with each other lovingly. Mori was leaning against a pillar, not far from Honey's location, protectively watching over his small cousin. Kyoya was in the middle of them all, still staring down at his papers, adjusting his glasses to help him see the numbers better while taking down notes.
Kyoya looked up at his small master. "I'm sure that he will be here soon. You know the King is never late when it comes to his duties to the Club."
The "King" entered in grand fashion, all but doves flying out from behind him. It seemed that he was waiting for someone to notice his absence so that he could make his grand entrance. Tamaki Suoh might have been one of the most exuberant creatures on the face of the planet. He was vivacious with an enthusiasm that had a way of spreading to everyone. His ideals are what made the club what it was. If he had wanted, he would make the best villain in the world, yet he opted to use his mastermind creativity to create a sickly sweet world.
"Worry not, my friends!" he began. There was almost a speech a day out of him, "Today, we will make woman smile, one at time. It will be us that they come to see over and over. Let's make sure they have the time of their lives! Now pep up, act alive, and remember to smile! This is the duty of a Host!"
The young men all cheered, excited to start their days. While most would have their selfish reasons for being in the club, Tamaki's entire goal was to help others. He was rather selfless in that way. Usa-chan had seen him time and time again sacrifice his own happiness in order to make others smile. As bitter as he was, Usa-chan admired the spark in Tamaki's eyes.
They still aren't all here. Where is the young lady pretending to be a man that everyone loves because she looks feminine?
The club had begun by consisting of the six boys that were in the room currently, but that had changed not too long ago. A commoner student happened to wonder in one fateful day, only looking for a place to study. Unfortunately, a debt ended up owed to the club quickly. How they didn't notice that she was female immediately was beyond Usa-chan's comprehension. He knew it, and he was merely a man made bunny. Teenage boys are dumbshits.
Tamaki apparently had only just realized that she was not in the room as well. "My daughter is late! Is everything okay?!"
Kyoya sighed, "She's just running late. That's all."
Usa-chan couldn't help but think about how hard it must have been on him. Of all the "men" in the room, he seemed to be the only one that had a level head. Well, him and Mori. Both were the closest thing to reliable adults in the room. Help us all.
"Yeah, Tama-chan, I'm sure that Haru-chan is fine!" Though he didn't believe that Honey felt that way at all, at least not by the way he was hugging him tighter.
"Yes, I'm sure you're right. Silly me for thinking anything else," he said with a nervous little laugh and a large sweat drop appearing over his other. He's such a character, that one is.
One of the twins took the opportunity to taunt Tamaki, "We could always go to her home and check in on her for you."
"Yeah," the other one chimed in, "we can go check on her, make sure she gets here alright."
"NO! I'm, I'm sure she's fine. And if anyone checked on her, it would be her Daddy!"
Does he realize how revolting it is that he calls himself her Daddy, or that she's his "daughter"? What type of weird issues does that boy have anyways? He's clearly in love with her, making it all the weirder. His dumbass doesn't even realize how he feels.
Haruhi rushed through the doors moments later, disheveled with mild panic in her eyes. Usa-chan had a hard time believing that no one picked up on the fact that she was a girl the first time she walked in. While she might not have seemed like the most feminine female ever, her features were soft and delicate. The girls loved her because she was understanding and kind in a way that the other boys just weren't.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I over slept! Please don't add more to what I owe you."
"Well," Kyoya began, "I suppose since no woman have had a chance to shown up, you haven't technically lost money for us, yet."
She glowered at him, but kept her mouth shut. She had a way of keeping her thoughts in as to not offend those around her. He had a feeling, though, that her thoughts were almost as dark as his own. I'd kill just to know what she was thinking, even just for one moment.
The bored, young woman began to show up within the hour. Each went to their favorite Hosts that they had made their requests for, and for the moment, Usa-chan was forgotten again. He lay alone, eyes towards the arms of the chairs, but all ears, quite literally. Kyoya was near him, a few girls around him. They were giggling, admiring his tall figure. He was very charming when he wanted to be, able to woo woman with more than just the gifts he could give them.
Kyoya moved away, the twins taking a seat near him now. They were playing their games with the girls. The woman that were with them now were playing the "Which one is Hikaru" game. He had watched this game before. Both twins would put on a hat and ask the girls to figure out which twin was which. Every time they would tell their guests that they were right, though he knew better than that. It didn't matter to them really, they knew the woman loved it.
When they weren't making the woman guess who was who, they were flirting with each other. The woman absolutely adored their closeness; Usa-chan thought it was foul. They were the only other people that made him feel disgusted. It creeped him out how much young woman enjoyed the prospect of an incestuous relationship between the brothers. And while some might have thought it was an act, he was fairly certain that there was some truth in their words, which made it worse. He couldn't understand the fascination with it. "Forbidden love" seemed to make everyone happy, including the other Hosts except for Haruhi.
"USA-CHAN!" came a very high pitch cry, and without warning, he was suddenly flying through the air. He could see everyone in the room as he flipped in circles. The Hosts were all up to their own shows, and now it was time for his part. Honey's appearance always brought woman swooning. Apparently, his adorable appearance while holding Usa-chan and the way Mori would take care of him made their hearts melt. He would giggle and play swing him around lovingly, making the woman so happy. Please don't be romantically interested in him. He looks like hes eight! I hope none of you sit at parks and watch the small children play.
Haruhi could be seen over Honey's shoulder. Usa-chan liked her. She didn't act like he was a living, breathing thing. Actually, she acted a little weirded out at how his little master treated him, though she did appreciate how adorable he was, making him feel better about himself. The women loved her kindness and that she looked cute like a girl. It helped that she was so caring and easy to like. She was practically the only one that wasn't pretending to be something they weren't in the room, well, aside from acting like she was a guy...
Meh, shit happens.
She was amidst her admirers, all of whom were hanging on her every word. He couldn't help but wonder what she was talking about today that was keeping the woman with her so captivated. While everyone else seemed to make up stories, Haruhi spoke from the heart about events that she had been through. Granted, she would put a spin on it to make the flirting a little more intense, but it was always sincere.
He sat on his master's lap, trying to see if the "King" was near. Tamaki was at a far table, having a one on one with one of the young woman. She was completely absorbed in everything he had to say. One of his charms was his ability of saying exactly what these woman wanted to hear, even if it was complete and utter bull shit. It was a gift, honestly. Not to mention that all of the woman seemed to absolutely love when he was all sensitive and had tears come to his eyes with the "honesty" he displayed.
While most of what he said seemed like it was all for the woman, he was one of the kindest people that Usa-chan had ever seen. Other people in pain broke his heart. He would try his best to make sure that he did everything he possibly could to remedy the problems of the people around him. It was a selfless act that wasn't expected when a person first meets him.
As the day passed, Usa-chan watched woman come and go. Honey, again, offered him cake that he would eat himself, while woman ate up his boy lolita charm. Mori was standing to the side, very aloof and brooding, but periodically coming to his cousins rescue when he was slightly distressed. The woman would always swoon over how he cared for his little cousin. He watched the twins grow "bored" with the woman who just wanted to see their love for each other, so to deal with it they flirted with each other, thus giving their guests exactly what they wanted to see. Still gross.
Tamaki never had a free moment though. Woman really did adore him. They would looking longingly at him, and he would return the gaze for the most part. Periodically, he would run over to Haruhi and speak of how adorable she was, making her clearly uncomfortable. There were other times where he would be with his guest and subconsciously look over at her and smile softly. No one ever noticed it, but all Usa-chan had was time to watch. He really loves her, he just needs to get his head out of his ass long enough to realize it. He's still an idiot.
The day wore down, and the Hosts themselves were ready to leave. Kyoya was tallying their total profit for the day as each began to go their separate was, saying their goodbyes until tomorrow. His master and Mori left together just as they had gotten there. Usa-chan was clenched tightly in Honey's sleepy hands in the car. Aww, was it a big day for the lil boy?
For at least the third time in the day, Honey ate cake and sweets for a meal. The kid's sweet tooth was insatiable every single day. Mori stayed to make sure that his teeth were brushed afterwards, like an adult would have to with any small child. All things considered, they had a good routine worked out together. Everyone in that club needed each other, and in their own way were a fully functioning dysfunctional family.
Another day was coming to an end, and tomorrow would be more of the same. His master had changed into his bunny footie pajamas, pulling Usa-chan close as he got under his covers. The little master had his head up against him, breathing gently as he slowly drifted off to sleep. Usa-chan let his mind begin to wind down for the night as well. He had one last thought, as drool slowly began to creep onto his ear; I suppose life could be much worse than being with this little shit. After all, he does love me.