I guess I'm supposed to write this: I do not own Castle of anything related to the show. This is a continuing story. They way I'm going it may be a whole book, ha ha. I already have ideas for the next few stories. I hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to give feedback! I never thought it could be so much fun to write!
It had been a month since Rick and Kate went to the Old Haunt after work. They had only gone on one real date between that time. Work was making it difficult to see one another. Their date was dinner and a movie. They had a great time and had easily conversed that night. They made dates to meet for coffee a few times before work, but other than that it was long hours at the 12th. Kisses were stolen here and there when they were out of sight of anyone but talking intimately together had been almost impossible.
It had been a particularly long day at the precinct and Castle and Kate went home exhausted.
Castle unlocked the door to his apartment. It was quiet. "Hello! Anyone here?" he called out. No one answered. He went to the kitchen and saw a note on the counter. 'Dad, went over to Ashley's to study. We left you some dinner in the fridge. Gram out too. Love, Alexis'. Castle looked at the digital clock on the stove it said 9:23. He wasn't that hungry, they ordered a late lunch at the station. He decided to make a bagel anyway, because he would be hungry later. He toasted the bagel, put cream cheese on it and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He sat at the counter eating it.
He wanted to call Kate to talk but didn't want to disturb her. She told him she was going to take a bath and get into bed. He decided to text her. If she were busy it wouldn't bother her and he wanted to say good night. He pulled out his phone and found her name. 'I just wanted to say goodnight and hope you sleep well! Love, Rick.'
Kate was sitting in her tub relaxing in the hot water. This was an especially hard case and hard day. Her phone was sitting off to the side on a towel. It made a little sound indicating she had a text message. She leaned over wiped her hands on the towel and picked up her phone. She read the message and smiled. 'He's so sweet!' she thought. She sent a text back that said, 'I miss you! Can you call me in about a half an hour? I just want to hear your voice!' She waited for the reply. It came two minutes later. 'Of course! I miss you so much too!'
'She is obviously feeling the same' Rick thought. He missed their time together. He saw her almost every day but it wasn't the same as having each others full attention. At least he wasn't so paranoid she was going to push him away as much as he was. She seemed to welcome his affection and attention to her. He finished eating and went into his bedroom. He put on some more comfortable clothes, actually these were what he slept in. He laid down on his bed feeling so tired. 'I'm not as young as I used to be' he thought. A half an hour had passed and he called Kate.
"Hello?" Kate answered. "Hi Sweetheart how are you doing?" "I'm exhausted Rick!" She said laying on her own bed. "Me too! I'm actually laying in bed right now." "I am too! If I fall asleep don't be offended ok?" she said not kidding. "I won't, I might do the same!" Rick said shutting his eyes. "I miss you Honey! We don't get to spend any down time together anymore! It's just been all work lately!" Kate sighed a little. "I know! I miss you terribly too!"
"I don't see this case wrapping up anytime soon." "I don't either!" Rick said agreeing. "I thought maybe we could do something this weekend, but it doesn't look like that will happen." "I know! We are still trying to figure out the motive!" Kate said tracing a pattern on her bedspread with her finger upset they hadn't gotten very far on this case. "I'm sorry, but long hours go with the territory when you are a Homicide Detective!
"If you didn't have the job you have, I may have never met you and I wouldn't have fallen for you!" Kate smiled at that. "You may have! Maybe I would have been one of your groupies! I read your books before I ever knew you, you know!" Kate teased a little bit. "You aren't the groupie type and I would never have you as one, you are too classy!" Rick said smiling at the thought of her being an aggressive groupie type.
He sure knew how to be charming. 'He's got that down to a science!' she thought. She knew what he said to her he meant though, at least when he wasn't teasing her. "Well I could be if I really wanted to be!" She protested. "Trust me, you don't want to be!" Rick said. "Do you get a lot of naked fan pictures in the mail?" Kate said feeling a tiny bit jealous. Rick wasn't sure how to respond. He could lie to her and tell her not often, but decided to go with the truth. "Well, it depends on what you think is a lot!"
"Never mind, I don't want to know! Just remember you are with me now!" Kate said with a smile in her voice. "I will never forget that, my wonderful, beautiful and sweet Miss Beckett!" Rick said as if honey were oozing off his lips. She laughed and said, "ok aren't you laying it on a little thick tonight?" "How could you question my sincerity?" He said acting like he was hurt. Kate just smiled and laughed a little.
"I need to go to sleep now and you do too!" Kate said yawning. "Ok, I'll see you in the morning then!" Rick yawned back. "Ok, bye Honey!" "Goodnight beautiful!" Kate hung up the phone smiling. He made her feel good before, but this was a whole other ball game. They were getting along good, almost too good! Kate tried not to question it though and just went with everything. She was sure they would have their not so great times too. The relationship was so new after all and they were still getting to know one another on a more intimate level.
Castle was in the break room fixing his coffee, when Beckett walked in. "Would you like some coffee Beckett?" Castle asked turning to look at her. "Sure" she said handing him her cup. He poured the coffee and handed it back to her. She fixed hers too and took a sip. "I think John killed his business partner for the insurance money!" Beckett said. They had just a few minutes before uncovered a hidden life insurance policy that John had taken out on his partner. "What else could it be?" Castle said seriously. "If it's not that then I don't know what it would be!" Beckett said frowning.
Beckett had Ryan and Esposito pick up John Sanchez. They brought him in and Castle and Beckett questioned him. He was so flustered he confessed, knowing they had the evidence they needed. They went back out and sat at Beckett's desk. "I'm glad that's over!" Beckett said scooting down in her chair and leaning her head back on her chair. "Me too! You know what this means don't you?" Castle asked her smiling. "No, what?" "It means that we can go out tomorrow night, unless of course we get another big case in the next two hours. Want to?" Castle said this in a low voice. She smiled and simply said "yes."
"How are your bowling skills?" Castle asked. "Bowling? You aren't using that term meaning something else are you?" Beckett asked raising one eyebrow. Castle gave her a look that said 'very funny'. "No I mean actual bowling. Unless of course you hate bowling." "No, I love bowling! I haven't gone in so many years. It will be fun, kicking your ass!" "You actually probably will! I'm not all that great but it's fun. I will not bet you on that!" Castle said honestly.
They finished up the day and each of them headed home. Castle missed Alexis and actually his Mother too. He had barely seen them much lately. He hoped they would be home. He walked in and found his Mother sitting on the couch. "Hello Mother!" "Hey kiddo! You're home early for a change!" Martha said getting up to give her son a hug. They hugged each other warmly. "Is Alexis home?" "Yes she's up in her room." "I'm going to go say hi!" Castle said bounding up the stairs. Martha loved the relationship her son and Granddaughter had. It was special and not something that happened all that often with Daughters and Fathers.
Castle knocked on Alexis door. "Come in!Alexis yelled through the closed door. Castle opened it and smiled at her. "Oh hey Dad! You're home!" Alexis said happy to see her Father. "I am; and at a decent hour!" He said hugging her. "So what have you been up to?" Castle asked sitting down on her bed. "Not much, the usual. You know, school, practicing my violin. That kind of stuff." "Want to order a pizza?" Castle said pulling out his phone."Sure! I'm getting hungry!" Castle ordered their favorite pizza and told Alexis how long it would be.
"Sweetie I want to tell you something kind of important." Castle said taking her hand. "Dad you are making me nervous!" "I'm sorry. It's nothing bad, in fact it's quite good actually. Kate Beckett and I have been dating. I know I don't tell you who I'm dating usually until much later but I thought you should know now and you are getting older so I think you can handle knowing I have a woman in my life sooner than you used to." Alexis looked at him but didn't say anything for a second. "I think it's great Dad! You two seem right for each other!" Alexis paused a few seconds again and studied her Dad's face. "You love her, don't you Dad?" Their blue eyes met. "Yeah, I do sweetie!" He smiled. "Does she love you?" "She said she did!" Alexis jumped up. "Oh my God Dad! She told you she loved you?" "Yes is that so hard to believe? That she could love your worn out old Dad?" Castle smiled at her.
"Of course not Dad, but she doesn't seem the type that shows her emotions easily! She must really love you if she told you so!" Alexis said in only a way a romantic school girl could. "She doesn't normally, but she seems to be opening up a little bit!" Castle explained. "How long has this been going on?" Alexis said excitedly. Castle paused and thought for a minute. "Three years!" Alexis had a puzzled look on her face knowing they hadn't been dating for three years.
"Ok well, in reality only a little over a month. We haven't been able to see each other much lately, but I'm taking her out tomorrow night." "I'm happy for you Dad! You deserve to have someone, uh, with some depth in your life." Alexis said trying to be diplomatic. Castle laughed. "Yes I haven't always been known for my great ability to pick women, but that has changed with Kate." Alexis smiled and hugged him. "Come on let's go tell Gram we ordered pizza." Castle took her hand and they walked downstairs.
"Hey Gram we ordered pizza, it should be here soon!" Alexis said on the way down the stairs. "Great! I won't have to cook then!" she replied. "Thank God!" Castle said. Martha looked at him through squinted eyes. "I managed to raise you on my cooking!" "Sheer luck, Mother, sheer luck!" Castle smiled at her. He loved to tease her sometimes. It kept her head from getting too big.
"Oh Mother I told Alexis about Kate and I dating so you don't have to keep it a secret anymore!" "Good! I hate secrets!" Martha said pouring herself a glass of wine. "Yeah, except when they are your own!" Castle added. "What dear?" Martha asked. "Nothing Mother, nothing!" Castle looked at Alexis and they laughed. "How do you feel about it darling?" Martha said looking at Alexis. "Fine! I think it's great!" "Richard you should invite her over here more often! I'd like to get to know her better! She is an amazing woman and you are lucky to have her! Don't blow it with her Richard!" She pointed her finger at him. "I'm treading very lightly, Mother!" "Good, keep it that way!"
They ate pizza and talked and laughed. Castle explained where he had taken Kate on their dates. Alexis was happy to see her Dad so happy. If Detective Beckett could make him feel this way she was all for it. "How about a game of laser tag? We haven't played in forever!" Castle said to Alexis. "Sure, sounds fun!" "That's my cue to bow out and retire to my room!" Martha said picking up her glass and walking toward her room. "Hey! You know what would be really fun?" Castle asked. "What?" Alexis said. "If we got Kate and Ashley to play too! It could be you and me vs. Kate and Ashley. They wouldn't stand a chance!" Castle said grinning. "It would be fun but I'm not sure Detective Beckett is the laser tag type Dad!" Alexis said doubtful of this idea.
"Sure she is, she just doesn't know it yet! I'll liquor her up a little first, then she will, you'll see!" "Dad!" "Well I think she will be totally into it! We just have to get her started and she'll see how much fun it is!" "You know everyone else is not like us don't you?" Alexis said putting her hand on her hip. "Not yet Daughter, not yet, but I have high hopes!"
They played for an hour and were loud enough for Martha to hear in her room with the door closed. She was glad they were having fun. They were both worn out from playing and Alexis decided to go call Ashley and went to her room.
It was 9:30 and Castle decided to call Kate. He didn't think she would be asleep yet. He called her cell. After a couple of rings the voice mail picked up. "Hi you've reached Detective Kate Beckett, please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible." "Hey it's Rick. I hope I didn't wake you. I just wanted to say goodnight and tell you I'll pick you up around 6:00 tomorrow night if that's ok. I figure we can grab dinner first, besides it gives me more time with you! Love you! Bye!"
He thought maybe she was sleeping or wasn't near her phone. He walked to his study and sat at the computer and wrote a few pages. It was getting late and he was tired so he shut off the computer and went to bed.
Saturday morning he slept in until 9:00. He woke up in almost a panic then realized he didn't have to be anywhere. He strolled out to the kitchen rubbing his eyes. Alexis was making pancakes and bacon. "That smells delicious!" he said to her sitting down at the bar.
"The next one will be yours!" she said pouring some batter in the skillet. "I made coffee too!" She picked up a cup and took a sip. "Since when do you drink coffee?" Castle asked surprised. "I have been Dad for like two months! I used to hate the taste now I love it!" "Next thing I know you'll come downstairs in a business suit with a briefcase and say you are off to work!" Castle said a little melancholy that his girl was growing up so fast. "Don't drink too much or it will stunt your growth!" Castle warned. "Dad I've pretty much reached my full height already. Remember girls mature faster than boys!" "Yes I'm well aware of that by now!" He said rolling his eyes a little.
Castle read the paper and relaxed for awhile. Then he got dressed and went to his study to write more. It was around 11 when he decided to call Kate again. "Hi you've reached Detective Kate Beckett, please leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible." Castle was wondering where she was. She almost always answered her phone even when not on duty. "Hi Kate, just wondering if you got my message last night. Give me a call as soon as you can. Thanks! Bye!"
Castle returned to his writing for a couple of hours. He needed to stretch and get some air so he decided to go run a few errands. Alexis was studying in her room and he went to tell her he would be gone for not long. Kate still hadn't called him back. It was unlike her, but he figured maybe she was busy. He ran his errands and came back and fixed a sandwich. His phone jingled and he looked at it. It was from Kate. It said, 'I'm sorry Castle but I won't be able to see you tonight, something came up.' That was it. No explanation, nothing but those few words.
Castle called her phone, no answer. "Hi you've reached..." He waited until the beep. "Kate hey, I'm a little concerned, is everything ok? Why aren't you answering your phone? Can you please call me back? Thanks!" Castle's face showed worry. He wanted to rush over to her apartment, but decided against it. He knew he couldn't do that if he truly meant he wasn't going to push her like he promised. 'What could have possibly come up though?' he wondered. 'Why didn't she just call me?' The writer in him came up with all kinds of explanations, but he tried to calm himself down.
He watched TV but wasn't really paying attention. Two hours went by and nothing. It was 5 o'clock. Martha had come back from being out all day with her friends. Alexis came downstairs and sat next to Castle. "Aren't you supposed to be going on a date tonight?" she asked. "Yes but Kate canceled." "Why?" "I don't know, she didn't say. She just sent a text that said something came up and she won't call me." Castle was downhearted. "I'm sure it is important Dad if she canceled. Don't worry! I'm sure there is an explanation for it." Alexis said trying to comfort him. "I'm worried about her!" "I know Dad but she's a trained cop and she does carry a gun you know!" "I know, she can take care of herself, but it doesn't stop me from worrying!"
"No plans with Kate tonight darling?" Martha said getting out a glass and filling it with water. "There was!" He explained the story to Martha. "Well don't worry Richard I'm sure there is a logical explanation for it!" "I hope so!" was all he said.
The hours went by with no call or text. Castle decided to go to bed. He tossed and turned all night. He did know she could take care of herself but wondered what was going on emotionally with her. He loved her so much. He didn't get much sleep but managed a few hours in the early morning.
It was now Sunday morning. He called her cell again. "Hi you've reached..." He let the message finish wondering what was going on. "Kate it's me, I'm starting to get worried about you! I don't want to bug you, but I need to know you are ok, please call me!" An hour went by and he got a text. "I'm fine Castle, just need to be alone to straighten something out right now! Please respect that!" He felt hurt. Why wasn't she sharing whatever it was with him? She knew she could count on him for anything! She was shutting him out. He didn't want to believe she would fall back into her bad pattern of doing that, yet here it was!
Castle talked this over with Martha later that day. Martha tried to reassure him that change was hard and maybe this was a bump in the road. She said it didn't necessarily have to stay this way and to talk it out with her.
"How can I talk it out with her if she won't talk, Mother?" Castle was slightly angry. "Give her time, Richard. Let her come to you! If she really loves you like she says, she will!" Martha was rubbing his back trying to console him. "Ok I will give her time, like you said." He knew that patience wasn't his strong point and he also knew he had to try and change this, especially with Kate. She was cautious by nature and it took her some time to come around to things. He was like a bull in a china shop, full steam ahead. This was probably partly why they were attracted to each other.
The rest of Sunday came and went. Alexis and Martha tried to cheer Castle up by watching funny movies. It only worked somewhat. Rick decided just to let her be, like she asked and wait it out. He knew she was supposed to be at work in the morning though. He would see her then. She never missed work unless she was deathly ill.
Monday morning Rick got up and got ready. He stopped by the coffee shop and ordered two coffees before heading up to the 12th. The elevator doors opened and he walked into the bull pen. Ryan and Esposito were sitting at their desks. He looked around and didn't see Kate's coat or anything to indicate she was there. Castle set Kate's coffee on her desk and walked up to Esposito's desk.
"Is Beckett here yet?" He asked. "No, she called in bro! She said she's taking a personal day." Castle's face fell. "Hey, she'll be back tomorrow dude, don't worry!" Esposito said noticing Castle's expression. Rick knew he couldn't seem too upset. No one knew of course they were dating yet. He couldn't act like she had been basically unreachable all weekend. "Did she say why?" Castle asked. "Nope, she just said there was something she needed to do today that couldn't wait. You know how she is bro, if she wants you to know she'll tell you!" Esposito said trying explain her behavior. "Yeah, sure!" Castle said trying to sound not so forlorn.
Castle waited around the 12th for awhile, seeing if Ryan and Esposito needed him to do anything. They hadn't got a case so there was basically not much for him to do. At 10:30 he excused himself and went home. It was all he could do to keep himself from driving over to Kate's and pounding on her door. He got his phone out several times to call her but stopped himself.
He arrived back home and no one was there. Alexis was of course at school and Martha had gone to an acting class. He laid down on the couch and dozed off. He was tired from the lack of sleep for two nights worrying about her. He kept his phone right by him though in case she called. He hadn't realized he slept for two hours when he looked at the clock. It was 1:30. He looked at his phone. No calls or text messages, but then he knew there probably wasn't. He would have heard them if she had called or sent a text. He got up and made himself something to eat.
He was walking back to his office when he heard a knock at the door. He practically ran to the front door. He opened it and standing there was Kate. "Kate! I was so worried about you! What happened?" He reached out and hugged her. "Can I come in?" she asked. "Yes, yes, of course!" he said taking her hand and leading her in. He took her coat and noticed she looked tired and upset.
"Why haven't you called me? I've been out of my mind with worry!" Castle said. "I know, I just...couldn't." She was not looking him in the eye. "Kate I need you to tell me what's going on!" Castle said this a little more stern than he meant to. That got her attention. "Can we sit down?" She asked. He didn't say anything, he just led her to the couch.
She took a deep breath and began. "I got a call a few nights ago from my Dad. He sounded a little funny, but nothing too off the wall. He just wanted to know how I was doing. The next night he called and he was getting sentimental and going on and on about my Mom and when she was alive. I knew something was up. He always gets that way when he's drinking. He sounded like he was on his way to getting drunk. So I went over there on Friday night." Castle knew then why she didn't answer her phone that night now. "He had his whiskey out and was quietly sitting there drinking it. He started getting mad and saying all this stuff about how he didn't deserve to have his wife taken away from him."
"I knew he had gone back to drinking again. It freaked me out Rick! It was as if the past were happening all over again! I felt helpless all over again. I was worried about him and stayed at his place for the past few days. I just kept talking to him and trying to convince him he needed help again. It wasn't easy. He had been seeing a woman and she broke it off. He really liked her a lot and thought maybe he could see himself marrying her, but she thought otherwise I guess." Kate frowned and put her head down.
"So he turned to his comfort which is alcohol. I asked him how long he started drinking again and it hasn't been long, maybe two weeks. I finally convinced him to go to an AA meeting, one he had been going to for years yesterday. He had slacked off going recently. He came home and said he thought he needed rehab again. Rick I can't tell you how relieved I was that he wanted to. So I took him this morning and he checked himself in and I came here!" Kate looked up and into his eyes. "Thank you for giving me space, I appreciate you honoring my wishes! I know how hard it must have been for you!"
"I'm so sorry Sweetheart that you and your Dad had to go through that again! Try not to worry too much. You know alcoholics and addicts have slips now and then. It doesn't mean they are doomed to keep using!" Rick said stroking the back of her head.
"I know, I've read a lot on addiction and especially lately. The counselor at the rehab talked to me awhile and I understand now that this is probably just a bump in the road in his recovery." Kate sat back on the couch and closed her eyes.
"How long will he be there?" Castle asked. "Probably 30 days. It depends on his progress but he was already determined to get recovery again, so I think he'll do ok." She had opened her eyes and looking at him directly now. "Are you hungry?" Rick asked taking her hand. "No I ate, just tired! I haven't slept good for days." "Why don't you go take a nap in the guest room?" Rick said kissing her hand. "No, Rick I don't want to impose." "It's no imposition, no one is here anyway. You look like you might pass out if you try and go home." Castle led her by the hand to the guest bedroom. She was too tired to protest. She sat down on the bed and took her shoes off. "Let me go get you one of my t-shirts, you'll be more comfortable." She just nodded. He came back and gave her the t-shirt and closed the door.
Castle walked down the hall and headed for his study. He thought he would write some while she was sleeping. He knew she had had a hard few days but knew they needed to talk too. He wasn't going to make too big of a deal out of what happened but she had shut him out and he didn't want that to continue. She didn't need to confide everything to him and he didn't expect that, but he wanted to reassure her he wasn't just anybody and she could count on him.
It was 4 o'clock and Alexis and Martha both came home at the same time. They were laughing and Castle went out to quiet them down. "Shhh! Kate's asleep in there!" he said pointing. Martha had a look that said 'do we really want to hear this?' "She's had a very hard few days and she came to see me. She was exhausted so I made her take a nap in the guest bedroom." He emphasized the word guest for Alexis benefit. "So she's ok then?" Martha seemed concerned. "Yes, she's ok. I'll tell you about it later!" "Ok darling!" "Well I've got homework anyway so I'll just go to my room." Alexis said. "I'm just going to freshen up and then I'm out again for the evening. I'll be as quiet as a mouse." "Thank you ladies!" Rick said gratefully. They each went their separate ways.
Martha had left and Alexis went to her friends house about 5:30 for dinner. Rick waited for Kate but she wasn't coming out of the room. At 6:15 he opened the door quietly and poked his head in. It was kind of dark but he could still see Kate's face. Her eyes were closed and she was laying on her side facing the door. He started to close the door again, but she called out to him. "Come in! I'm awake!" She opened her eyes and held out her hand. "Did I wake you?" Castle asked quietly. "No I just had my eyes closed still. Come here, I need to talk to you!" She said with a little smile.
Castle walked to the bed and sat down. She moved over and said, "here lay next to me!" He laid down next to her and she was facing him. She put her hand on his arm and he put his hand on her hip. She kissed him lightly on the lips. "I'm sorry I didn't call you! I went back to my former self for awhile didn't I?" Rick didn't say anything he just stared into her eyes. "I wanted to call you, but I kept thinking to myself, 'I can handle it'. The thing is I can handle it myself, but I don't want to anymore. That has changed in me. I know I need to share things with you, for my own sanity and yours. I realize I don't have to do everything myself anymore. I have you now! I'm sorry I shut you out. It was wrong of me!"
"Thank you for that! I know it's been hard for you. It's been hard for me too. I was almost ready to go to your place and pound on your door today, but I didn't. I wanted to keep calling you but knew I shouldn't. Kate you know I'm always, always here for you, don't you?" She nodded. "I'm here for the ups and downs, the good and bad. Whatever is in my power to help you with I will do it." Rick touched her face and stroked her cheek. It was the most tender moment they had shared so far.
Kate's eyes welled up a little bit. "I know you are here for me Rick, you've proven yourself to me so many times! I want you to know too that it's not one sided. I will always be there for you too! I feel like you are always the one to prop me up and I want to let you know I will be that for you too! You can tell me anything, ok?" She smiled at him. "This is all so new and different for me. I'm so sorry I made you worry. It won't happen again, I promise you!" She was serious and looked him in the eyes. "Your Dad will be alright, you know, and you will too!" He leaned over and kissed her. He reached for her thigh under the sheet. She had taken off her pants and was just in his t-shirt and under ware and bra.
He caressed her bare thigh and let his hand run over her bottom a few times while kissing her. She never knew she could feel like this about anyone and never had before he came along. She unbuttoned his shirt a couple of buttons and kissed his neck. It was hard to stop but she made herself and rolled on top of him. "I don't know about you but I'm starving!" "Oh I'm starving alright in more ways than one!" He kissed her again then rolled her off him. He bent over her looking deep in her eyes. She smiled. "We'll get to that Castle, don't worry!" He smiled back and got up. "What is your pleasure my lady? Eat in or dine out?" Castle asked from the doorway. "Could we go somewhere? I don't want you to have to cook for me." "I love cooking for you Kate, but sure let's get out of here for awhile!"
He closed the door behind him and Kate got dressed. She was a little hot and bothered but was savoring the words they said to each other more. She wanted the emotional intimacy first, then the physical one. She knew they had a ways to go before she felt mentally ready to do that. She had jumped into things physically a little too soon a couple of times and didn't want to repeat that mistake. She wanted this to work with Rick very badly. She just couldn't picture herself with anyone else that could compare to all his qualities. She couldn't let her emotions cloud her judgment. She needed to see how they would be long term, not just right now when they were both trying hard. So the physical part would wait. They could wait. If it means enough to both of us we can control ourselves. The kissing alone was spectacular. She could only imagine how intense it would be between them in the future. She smiled making the bed, got dressed and walked out of the room to go find Castle.