That's What She Said

Authors Note: This actually happened between two of my friends at school, i just had to write it down. Also, words that are italicized are the cast speaking to the cameras. The movie mentioned in the fic is fake. Also, whatever Dwight says…It's Dwight saying it….

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Monday-12:47

Jim leaned on the counter of the receptionist desk. He tried to hold back a sigh. He was trying to help a frustrated Pam fix her computer. It was odd, she normally didn't need help with things like this, but she couldn't seem to fix this certain issue. Jim bit his lip when Pam let out an irritated cry and smacked the side of the computer. For some strange reason, the computer stayed broken.

"Okay, so I don't think hitting it is going to fix it," Jim remarked, "Have you tried turning it off and starting it back up again?"

"I did that about fifty times!" said Pam, "It still doesn't work!" Jim sighed and tried to think of another solution. He was so wrapped up in thought he didn't notice Michael come up behind him. Pam tried something else on his computer, she clicked on the mouse a few times, noting happened. Pam gripped the mouse so hard Jim was amazed that it didn't shatter.

"You know you really shouldn't grip it so hard…" Jim said. A bored Michael saw his chance.

"That's what she said!" He commented. Jim turned around. Yep, it was Michael. He watched as his boss walked away happily. Jim shook his head.

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Monday-3:23

Jim was eating a snack by the vending machine. He moved over when Kevin walked up to it.

"Hey Kevin," Jim greeted as Kevin deposited some coins into the machine.

"Hey Jim, Oh, by the way, did you see that new Destroyer movie that came out?"

"Na, how was it?"

"It, was, epic. There was this one part where the robot picked up a semi and threw it at this group of people, it was awesome,"

"A semi?" Jim asked. Michael walked up and deposited some coins into the vending machine.

"Yeah, a semi…" Kevin elaborated, "The thing was huge,"

"That's what she said," Michael said and walked back towards his office laughing. Jim groaned.

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Jim- "What do I think of Michael's "that's what she said," jokes, uh… I think it's fair to say they've gotten pretty old. I mean, maybe it was funny the first time, like…ten years ago…but now...(Shakes his head)\

Stanley- "Michael's sense of humor? I wasn't aware that he had one.(Says this with a deadpan face)

Angela-"Michael's jokes are extremely offensive. They mock women and portray them unacceptably. I do not see how anyone can find that kind of behavior funny.

Dwight-"Michael is a comedic genius. The first time I heard one of his jokes, I didn't stop laughing for five minutes. Why do I not laugh now, you ask? Simple, a little while ago, I read that when you laugh, the constriction of your lungs damages your internal organs, shortening your overall lifespan by five seconds per laugh. So fifty years from now, when you are all dead from watching to many sitcoms and Dane Cook, I'll still be hear alive, laughing at you…but in my head…(nods with a serious expression)

Jim- "Yeah, I'm getting pretty tired of it…you know, I've got a plan.

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Tuesday-11:27

"Hey Michael, the new desk chairs are here," Pam called. The new chairs that the office had ordered had just arrived. Michael hurried over. Jim followed. He watched as Michael unpacked a brand new chair from a box. Jim got a feeling that it was time to put his plan into action. Michael sat in the chair to test it out. He let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Oh, yeah… these are really soft!" he exclaimed as he leaned back.

"That's what she said…" Jim said. Michael looked at him but said nothing. Soon he turned back to Pam.

"These are great! They feel good,"

"That's what she said." Michael looked at him again.

"Okaaaay…"He looked at the boxes.

"Do they come in different sizes?" he asked, "I want the biggest one," He realized what he was saying to late,

"That's what she said," Jim said, now smiling. Michael turned on Jim.

"Jim! What are you doing,"

"That's what she said," Michael looked annoyed.

"Stop it," Michael ordered.

"That's what she said," Jim replied. Michael looked really mad now.

"Agh! Screw you!" He turned around.

"That's what she said," Jim said, trying not to laugh. Michael looked like he was going to blow up. He started taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. Inhaling and exhaling. He did this for a few seconds.

Jim-"It seriously looked like he was going into labor…

Finally Michael calmed down. He held up a hand.

"Okay, Okay, I'm just not going to set you up like that," He said.

"That's what she said," Jim said shrugging. Michael shook his head.

"Now that wasn't good at all," He said.

"That's what she said to you,"

"Damn it!"