Sorrowful Winter

by kira862

Even in the end, they still had each other. Even when they were hurt, they still showed compassion for each other. Through the cold, and the warm, they still loved each other. However, this winter will try there love for each other.

Here's my one shot and probably my favorite thing I've ever written. I hope that everybody enjoys the emotion and depth that I included in this. And Merry Christmas...now if you'll excuse me I need to slip into a food coma.

Rated M for: Strong Language, Lemon, and Adult Themes

Update #1: Finally got the proofreading done with a few small changes to the overall story. Will fix more things in the future as I feel like rereading it.

---

For the two of them, time had ceased to exist. And why not really? Everything else had ceased to matter except for their lives, and the time they spent together. If not for each other, the will to live would have gone out. Of course, there were rough times early on, at the beginning of it all; or in retrospect, it may have been the end of everything. Certainly it was the end of everything they knew.

Third Impact had come and gone three and a half years ago. Shinji rejected Instrumentality in the belief that humans could and would change the future to a better place, and that people would someday be able to understand each other. He held firmly onto that belief, and yet many years later it was still them two, and them two only.

How had it happened? Well, he supposed he didn't care too much in the long run. Maybe he had willed it with his own thoughts, towards and about her, but he had a nagging suspicion that Asuka had such a firm grasp of who she was, that she was able to separate herself from the sea of people lost in Instrumentality. Whatever it was, he still could remember that feeling as he woke up on the beach to find that he was next to her, their hands firmly grasped together.

The rockiness immediately set in, and why not? They were still fifteen; Instrumentality hadn't changed that, nor there maturity. The bickering set in quickly and some nights they had hardly talked. Shinji, was of course, left to cook every meal during which Asuka rarely gave a word of thanks.

Eventually the conversation turned to, 'what do we do now?' Because it was quickly apparent that staying in Tokyo-3 was not yielding anything useful. Only painful memories of times gone now remained.

Asuka wanted to go to Germany, though as Shinji pointed out, that was an unlikely travel option, considering they were surrounded by the Sea of China on one side, and the Pacific on the other. Neither knew how to fly a plane, or drive a car for that matter, and taking a boat could turn disastrous. In the end, they started hopping from one Island to another, never staying in one place to long.

There demeanor towards each was forced to improve, as they steadily became to rely on one another. Several times they saved one another from natural occurring things. They loathed going into buildings, unless they were in desperate need for supplies, since the infrastructure was all but crumbling away.

The turning point Shinji supposed was in the late fall when 'the storm' as he thought of it, hit them. To this day, he wasn't sure if it was a hurricane or a monsoon, but regardless, he knew if not for Asuka, he would be dead, and he suspected that she would have followed suit. While they may not have felt much for each other yet, the human companionship that sprung up between them was a necessity.

It had hit while they were setting up camp, something that Shinji usually did by himself, though Asuka had steadily been helping him with more and more things. Maybe it had been that they both had seen the approaching storm, and knew that they would have to hurry with camp.

At the start of there island hopping, Asuka had refused to share a tent with Shinji, settling on the smaller tent instead of going with the larger, two man size. Shinji decided to follow her after she stubbornly refused the large tent. Thinking back on it now, if she had gone along with his idea, they probably would both be dead now.

Before the storm started picking up speed. They had both fastened their tents to the ground with extra pegs that they had gotten at a sporting goods store not long before, thinking that they would probably never need them.

They both went to sleep, thinking nothing of what would soon follow.

Shinji felt like he had been in a dream still, when he woke up. He felt like he was floating, and in a sense, you could say that he was.

He had woken up in a free fall with his tent falling through the air. Apparently, the storm had managed to pick up his tent and fling it through the air several yards. Asuka's had managed to stay safe though, as she had pitched it under a tree and fastened it to the less softer ground.

Shinji could never remember those first few hours after he hit the ground, only that he was in excruciating pain for the majority of it. On the return trip down, he had fractured his right arm, split his leg open which now showed the whiteness of a scar, and gave him a serious concussion.

His tent had been ripped straight out of the ground and probably would have continued upward if it hadn't had someone in it. Possibly it would have held better if two people had been in it. That was another thing about Asuka's tent, she had many more things that Shinji had, even though he was delegated to carry most of them.

When Shinji awoke, he remembered he had a splitting fever, and a very numb arm. Asuka had managed to manhandle his limp body into the tent while the storm was raging. The wound Shinji had received had somehow gotten infected and Asuka had had to care for him as the storm continued. She could have left him, and continued on her own, which was probably the logical thing to do, but she couldn't bring herself to do that. Maybe the early stages of her feelings for him had set in. Or maybe she just knew she couldn't live without him, literally. She would have shortly died if she had no one to talk to.

The most clear image to Shinji that awful night was the picture that his mind constantly painted of Asuka sitting over his body, her face streaked with tears. Maybe if he hadn't been in so much pain, he could have comforted her. But maybe, a small part of him, wanted things to be that way. With her wholeness open for him, without her guard up, so he could see every aspect and angle of herself who has always put of a strong defense. Did he hate himself for that? ...Maybe a little. He was able to feign sleep for a good few more hours before the slight hiccups from Asuka became too unbearable.

He couldn't remember his words very well, try as he might. They were comforting, no doubt, but something had blossomed between them during that moment. Something that would continue on until they lay down in there beds one last time, leaving there offspring to populate the world.

The storm quickly passed after that night, but they made slow progress. Shinji was in no shape to travel long distances, with his arm and fever, though Asuka had managed to make a rudimentary sling out of an old shirt she had.

Time started to slow here, and they began to disregard the number of days. The only thing they kept track of was how long it had been since Third Impact ended, and even that was little more than a guess.

Something unspoken started to issue between them. They had been traveling for almost a year now, and had experienced all sorts of things together. Though one thing had been at the back of their minds for the longest time, and it continued to eat away at them.

What if they were the only humans left? What if the others wouldn't or couldn't come back?

This question ate away at the both of them, as they slowly realized what had happened. As they grew in age, they became more mature, and thus, realized the severity of what had happened. They were possibly, and likely, the only two human beings left on Earth. What exactly did that mean to them. One question really.

Do we continue?

They had become attracted to each other, no doubt about that. Many months after the storm, and many stops at sporting goods stores, the topic of two tents had ceased to come up. They had been sharing the same tent for six months now and had gotten used to each others backs resting against each other. You could go as far as to say they enjoyed the extra warmth. They largely kept to each other during these times together in the tent, keeping to each others thoughts. Talking completely stopped as they entered the tent.

Were they too afraid to continue? That was most likely the reason. They had things thrust upon them so much that they rarely had a chance to explore anything relating to a childhood. One thing led to another and they found themselves piloting the Evangelion with the survival of all of mankind resting on their shoulders. Then of course Third Impact is initiated and they suddenly become adults. How is someone supposed to cope with that?

Amazingly, it had been Asuka who opened that minefield.

Her question rang through Shinji's mind so clearly that he was surprised he had managed to maintain a straight face. It was something that he had thought about recently, not in a sleazing sense or anything, more as a physical need. It was apparent now that if they were the only two humans left, that they should continue as the new Adam and Eve.

So, they took it slow...baby steps, if you will. Though as one would have it, there physical need and hormones took over quickly and soon there bodies were so entangled that a passing animal would have had difficulty telling who was who. Lust soon followed passion, and passion came hand in hand with desire. Though they were forever careful after those first few times, always keeping the dates under control.

In the long run, there desire and passion for each other won over the lust and they soon became quickly accepting of this new need for each other. In fact, two humans have probably never loved each other more.

Settling down took much longer, as they were simply content to be beside each other no matter where they went. It felt like they had infinite time, though as Shinji reminded Asuka one evening, they didn't. Their lives were simply the starting point. The ending point was for there children to decide.

They built a log cabin, in Okinawa, near a small town without a name. They were content enough now to stay in one place. Maybe the rebellious years that all teens go through was simply part of there journey, as they never stayed in one place very long.

To Shinji, it felt like all this happened in the span of a small window. And why not? Since this was all a dream he was having...

---

Shinji opened his eyes slowly and the first rays of the sun came through the blinds and pierced his half closed eyes. Squinting them closed he caught movement, and turned towards his right.

'Ah, right,' he thought suddenly, 'all that stuff in the dream has already happened. I'm just remembering everything I forgot I guess. There was a lot more that I can't really remember though...eh'

Asuka was of course laying on his right, curled up in the blankets as she usually did, and with good reason. It was currently mid winter, and snow had set in and covered the log cabin. Without electricity, all they had to go on for warmth was the stone fireplace they had in the living room.

Roughly half a year had passed since they had finally settled on a place to live. Originally, they had built off of the current supplies that the town offered. But when that became to much, they decided to start to build there own garden, complete with fruits and vegetables.

They had prepared steadily for the winter years, but it still rattled them when it hit. The snow that they encountered was unlike anything that they had seen before, even the winter before last, which was unusually gruesome. Shinji could only hope that this year would be somewhat better.

He was tempted to wake Asuka, but in his experience, it was not smart to wake her this early in the morning, especially with the weather as it was. Therefore, as the present allowed, he felt content to simply lay in bed and watch as her body moved up and down in rhythm to her breathing. He found that he was doing this more often now days.

She had grown her hair out much longer than she had usually kept it, which made sense he supposed. Since they had finally settled on a place to live, she had decided to let her hair grow outward more. Before, with there constant moving, she had kept her hair moderately short, or tied up in a pony tail, so that it wouldn't snag on branches and such as they walked through the underbrush. Shinji honestly liked it better this way, he had more to play with in a sense.

He knew that he would have to wake up soon, since it was his day to make breakfast, though at least she had become inclined to make it every other day. Shinji had in fact learned that she was a fairly good cook, and that she seemed to know a wide variety of foods that he had never heard before.

So, slowly pulling himself out of the covers, he abandoned the warmth that was shared between the two of them, grabbed a long sleeve shirt off the dresser, and stumbled into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Thankfully, he had managed to install a hot water heater, though the hot water had to be manually heated occasionally.

After stepping out of the shower he was unsurprised to see Asuka standing in front of the mirror in their bathroom. It was something of a ritual that they did. Since he was almost the first one up every morning, he would take his shower first, as she would slowly wake up, and brush her teeth while she waited for her turn. After he stepped out of the shower they normally switched, with her taking a shower and him brushing his teeth and preparing breakfast.

As Shinji stepped out of the shower he caught a smirk flashed in his direction by Asuka who was just finishing brushing her teeth. She had the usual silk, white night gown, that he had found for her before they had finished the log cabin, curled around her body, complementing her well defined curves. Though that smirk of hers usually ment that she had something planned for him, and sure enough...

"Your hair is getting too long again, Shinji. You need to cut it before it becomes too unruly." She said this while she casually opened a draw, fingering a pair of scissors she knew that were in there.

Shinji sighed, resigning to her usually demand with regards to his hair.

During there travels, he had grown his out to the point where it fell just above his shoulders. Asuka couldn't understand how he could walk through bushes like that, but he enjoyed it. Maybe it had something to do with that rebelliousness, but he liked it enough to want to keep it even now, though within limits. Asuka usually cut it for him since he knew he would probably end up bald if he tried it himself, and she did a good job too, so no harm done. At least it was even. Though he didn't think it was necessary at the moment, his hair barely went past his ears, though he supposed it did stick up on one side of his head now, though that was a combination of bed hair and his fathers genes.

Another thing that Asuka despised, more like loathed, was whenever Shinji went several days without shaving, which was a pain for both of them really. Asuka absolutely refused to kiss Shinji if he had even a speck of stumble on his chin or above his lips. While the controlling had settled down, it had also taken several other forms instead. But the pros outweighed the cons, so it didn't matter that much.

Shrugging it off as though it was nothing serious, Shinji said, "We can worry about that later. I have to run downtown and pick up a few things for dinner tonight."

Asuka's puffed up slightly in irritation, but eventually sighed in resignation. This was part of the usual argument with his hair, but she always won in the end.

"Fine, do whatever you like. Just make breakfast before you take off."

"Will do."

Asuka nodded once, before strolling over to Shinji, discarding her night gown and underwear as she went. Standing briefly beside him, she stood on her toes and pecked him on the cheek before walking into the shower.

Shinji laughed briefly as he heard the water flowing from the faucet. That was something that both of them had become accustomed to in a short amount of time, neither was afraid of showing there naked bodies in any given situation. And why should they? Nobody else is going to see them. Though Shinji did think that Asuka went a little overboard sometimes when she'd walk around in nothing but that white silk gown, with no underwear underneath. She still liked to tease him he supposed.

Breakfast was usually a hurried affair, as they didn't have many options available. With the lack of electricity many of the things that humans took for granted suddenly became a rarity. They improvised though, with a wooden stove for cooking on, though there fruits, vegetables, and the occasional meat, were stored somewhere else other than the house.

Laying out a set of eggs, and toast, Shinji hastily left Asuka note, telling her where he had gone. Finishing up the note, he tossed a piece of toast into his mouth, before grabbing his jacket in the closet next to the front door, and walked out into the cold.

---

When they first arrived in...well, where ever they were, transportation was a large problem.

They had arrived sometime in late summer of last year, when it was just starting to turn into fall. Shinji couldn't imagine what it would have been like if they arrived during winter.

They camped out close to the center of town for a while, and spent most of there time gathering supplies and drawing up plans for when they would leave. They had originally planned on just running through it for supplies, but Asuka went off by herself on a sudden urge and came back telling Shinji about this place she had found. That place, of course, turned out to be the location of there log cabin.

Thankfully for Shinji, most of the supplies were available in town, with a few exceptions that he had to improvise with, though he quickly found a problem. The house was a good two or three miles from the town, which became a quick pain whenever he had to haul lumber for those miles.

That was when he stumbled upon an old Chevy truck, probably one of the very few in all of Japan.

It was old but reliable, that and the previous occupant had left his keys in the ignition. Shinji suspected he had been sucked up by Instrumentality right before he started the car.

That same truck was still being used as a go between every day when they needed something down town. Asuka didn't like it much though. She complained that it smelled terrible and told Shinji that if they ever had children, she didn't want them inhaling the noxious fumes that it put off. Shinji liked it though, it was the first car that he had ever driven and learned on. The only down side was the heater didn't work anymore. So Shinji was driving down the road with his hands freezing. He had forgotten to grab his gloves.

Things weren't going to go as smooth as he wanted them to though.

Hitting a particular large piece of ice, the truck fishtailed to the right, the steering wheel going wild. Frantically gripping it harder, Shinji tried jerking it back to straighten it out, only creating a worse problem as he managed to make it fishtail towards the left now. Snow crunched under the worn out tread of the tire as it hit another chunk of ice, this time jerking it a complete ninety degrees and sending it veering off into the ditch with a loud thud.

"God Fucking Damn-"

Shinji was cut off in mid sentence as the air bag deployed, muffling the rest of his swearing.

Still swearing, he managed to push his door slightly open, squeezing his body out in the end.

Walking around each side of the truck, he started assessing the damage, and it wasn't that bad really. The front fender was a little bent from hitting the embankment across the ditch, but Shinji was a little worried about the underneath. Something might have scrapped.

"Asuka is going to kill me," he mumbled.

Maybe she would, maybe she wouldn't. Most likely she'd see it as an excuse to get rid of the truck.

Though it wasn't that much farther on foot, Shinji wasn't much in the mood to continue into town, even though he knew he should. He had gotten much lazier after having the truck for a while. After the house was completed, he still occasionally walked to town whenever they need something down there. Now though, he enjoyed being able to drive freely, with the window rolled down in the summer, and the wind wiping his hair around.

He now supposed that he should have gotten more practice in the snow last year.

Rubbing both his hands together, he prepared to walk the rest of the distance on foot.

---

The town, as they called it, was literally nothing more than a place to store goods that wouldn't spoil.

For the longest time, they lived off canned goods, with the occasional fresh kill that Shinji sometimes managed to get. He had picked up a rifle during there travels, but discarded it as it was rare to use it.

There original plan when they entered the town for the first time was of course to stock up on goods. This mainly just ment that they needed canned goods.

Shinji could remember when he entered the supermarket for the first, the stink was almost unbearable. The fruit and vegetables had long expired, but the meat, that was where the smell came from.

He had held a spare shirt over his nostrils while he searched the shelves, and the storeroom in the back for any canned goods that he could find. At this point though, canned goods were even starting to expire, so he had to be careful in his choices. This of course limited there food supply severely. In retrospect, it was good that Asuka had found the spot for there current house. Shinji doubted if they would have survived three more months in the wild, especially with the winter the way it had been.

Now, he was just outside the doors of that same supermarket, looking through the doors with the glass that he had broken out last year.

Stepping over the metal door frame, being careful so that he would cut his leg open, he stepped into the supermarket which was there storage for any perishable food.

While Shinji had been creating the house, Asuka decided that if they were going to settle down, then they would need a longer lasting food supply. So, she had created a garden behind the house.

There was a porch that went all the way around the outer edge of the house, wooden of course. From the back porch, several wooden stairs ran down into the gravel start of the garden. A gravel path wove around the plants that had been planted hand by hand, with small stones outlining the area of the plants

Asuka had found a hardware store that also sold seeds for a planting. Strawberries, Raspberries, Grapes, Carrots, Celery, and Lettuce were just a few of the many different things that Asuka had grown in the garden.

She was rather particular about Shinji entering it, and even forbade him from entering that spring while she was working on it.

The food that she had painstakingly created, was now stored in a large refrigerator inside the supermarket, though the larger majority of it had been canned using the leftover cans from the supermarket. If Shinji was most grateful about something, it was that select areas of the town still had power.

Shinji now walked to the storeroom in the back of the supermarket to grab the nights dinner.

This would be there second winter here; you could call it something of an anniversary, so he also wanted it to be special in some way.

Selecting a few of Asuka's favorite things out of the refrigerator, he closed the door and prepared to make his why back to their house.

---

The town was relatively small, and he supposed that was why he liked it so much.

It had a main supermarket, hardware store, several small restaurants and some small shops to go along with it, something that might have been a library, and two gas stations on what he suspected had been main street. This last one he had been thankful for. One of the gas stations seemed to not be pumping gas any longer though, but he hoped the second would last a while longer. Maybe if he lived long enough, he'd be able to wire the house for electricity.

Walking through the thick snow just outside of the hardware store he was reminded how bad last years snow storm had been. The house hadn't been completed by the time the first snow hit, and they had to pull out the old tent and pitch it inside a small shop on fifth avenue. He hoped that things wouldn't be too bad this year, and at least they had a fireplace for warmth this time.

"I should probably stop daydreaming and hurry back," mumbled Shinji into the freezing cold. "Asuka will probably be getting worried by now. How long have I been gone anyway?"

Shinji had long since abandoned a watch that he found amongst the ruins of Tokyo-3. No sense carrying along something that would make him remember the past.

Picking up the pace a little, he settled into a quick jog that he had almost forgotten in his absence from walking, but as he passed a small shop with tan painting on its front and white trim around the door and window, something caught his eye.

Pausing for a minute he thought about continuing on as though he had never seen anything, but his curiosity got the better of him. He couldn't remember this place ever having electricity.

Walking up to the glass window, he pressed his face against it and looked inside.

He suddenly felt stupid.

It looked like something like a children's toy, a really cheap one. Even so, he suspected that he had caught a glimmer of sun light reflecting off the toys plastic features and had mistaken it for lighting. Boy did he feel stupid

But since he was here, he might as well take a look around.

Turning the door nob, he pressed gently against the door and it swung open.

It was something like a dollar tree, the places that sell non-name brand products for cheap prices.

The toy that had caught his eye was on a shelf with a wide array of other toys, all of them old and well outdated. The toy in question looked something like an action figure from some comic book. Picking it up, Shinji briefly smiled as he thought of a young boy that he might have in the future. He pocketed it.

Turning around, he glanced at the dolls that lined the shelves on the opposite side. Maybe he should grab one of those also, just to be safe. Asuka would kill him if when they had a child, it turned out to be a girl and he gave her an action figure. Well, he'd remember this place and come back another time. He didn't have enough room right now for anything else, what with the sacks of food draped over his shoulder.

"I'll be back later," he mumbled to the empty room. And he knew he would be, this place stood out for some reason. He couldn't understand why him or Asuka had never seen it before.

Realizing that he had taken far to long, he turned to leave when his eye caught something else. Something that was behind what would have been the cashiers spot.

He couldn't remember that last time he had seen a calendar. His sense of time had been completely destroyed long ago.

Approaching it slowly, he was unsurprised to see that the year shown on the calendar was 2015.

Glancing at it momentarily he remembered all the suppressed memories from all those years ago. He had barely even shared with Asuka what had happened with him during Instrumentality, but she was okay with that, since she wasn't too keen on sharing her own memories during that time either.

Flipping through the pages of the calendar he saw that the previous owner had marked several days that were special to him or her. Shinji saw something that could have been a birthday party; well, at least there would have been a wide selection of toys to choose from for the kid.

Continuing to flip through the pages he finally landed in December, which he guessed was the current month that they were in.

But he paused at something. Something that had been completely forgotten in the years since Third Impact.

'Oh yeah,' he thought, 'shouldn't it be close to Christmas?'

He was looking at Christmas Day, which had been circled by the shop owner.

Even before Third Impact, Christmas had been something that was celebrated in moderation, since they had no idea when an angel would attack. Shinji always got a few presents, from friends, but he had never woken up on Christmas Day with a Christmas tree to look at. Problem was, how did he know exactly when Christmas was going to fall.

In 2015, Christmas would have fallen on a Friday. So then if he simply added the number of years between 2015 and...

'Wait...what year is it anyway?'

Their sense of time had long since been lost. They just continued each day as though it was a brand new experience. The only way they could tell time, was by looking at each other and estimating the number of years that had passed since Third Impact. If Shinji had to guess, three or more years had passed, so him and Asuka would be around eighteen. Maybe he'd just have to settle on the number.

So then if three years transpired between 2015 and 2018, then Christmas would fall on a Monday. But then...what day was it today...

Shinji was all but ready to say screw it and just leave; he had always been bad at math, but he felt that Asuka would appreciate his thoughts about this. They hadn't shared a Christmas together since the start of all this, while they had shared just about everything else.

The one date that Shinji was positive about was when Third Impact had ended, that day would be forever engraved in his mind. Thinking back to the date, he slowly started counting off three years of things that had happened.

Call him crazing for doing this, but he wanted to share everything with Asuka, including this.

After what felt like forever, he finally landed on Sunday, which he hoped was the current day. So that just left eight days till Christmas. He supposed that his next goal was to find a tree that would fit inside their log cabin. He was suddenly glad he had decided to go with a vaulted ceiling.

For good measure he grabbed the calendar off the wall and flung it into the bag of food. It would probably be helpful to know what days had transpired after his. Maybe they'd even get a chance to celebrate each other birthdays eventually.

Glancing briefly back at the walls of toys and other cheap things, he smiled as he thought this place might turn empty in years to come.

---

"That sure took a while!" Snarled Asuka as Shinji walked through the door of their house.

Shinji had expected this sort of tone, but was glad that it was due to her worrying then any sort of annoyance toward him.

"Sorry...I got side tracked."

"Doing what?"

"Just looking around."

"At what?"

Shinji shrugged, "Remembering some stuff from when we first came here."

Asuka's demeanor change dramatically as her shoulders seemed to slump at his words. "Oh..." Changing into her more usual softer tone, she said, "Where's the truck? I saw that you walked back on foot."

"I had almost forgotten about that," mumbled Shinji to himself, though within earshot of Asuka.

"Where is the truck?" She said in a much sterner voice after hearing his words.

"Well...I had a bit of an accident really, and the truck...sorta ended up in a ditch."

Asuka was silent for a minute as she let the words churn over in her head. Though Shinji was sure the outburst would happen soon enough, and as soon as he thought this...

"BAKA!"

Shinji would have been rolling around on the ground by now if not for the fact that Asuka had lunged at him, pushing him backwards. He had not heard her trademark word for him in sometime. He had assumed that she had outgrown it.

"Idiot, moron, insensitive jerk!"

"Asuka calm down, I'm perfectly fine, so is the truck for that matt-"

"I don't care about that stupid piece of metal! What if you had gotten hurt, what if I had to tend to you, what if you-"

Asuka froze mid sentence, catching herself before her emotions took over and she said something that constantly troubled her.

"I'm fine, and I'm not leaving you."

"I told you to be more careful when you drive out there. That think doesn't even have four wheel drive."

"Its better having to walk out there."

"And I noticed something else, you didn't bring gloves did you," said Asuka as she frowned down at his freezing cold hands. "Why do you take such shitty care of yourself?"

"Well, I've got you to help me if I stumble."

"And what if I'm not around anymore? What then?"

Her words choked Shinji up as he clambered for the right words to reply. "Asuka please don't."

"No I mean it!"

"Thats not going to happen, so stop thinking about it."

"How can I stop thinking about when I keep on remembering that night in the storm!"

Her words finally came out about why she was so afraid of him being injured. Shinji had never fully appreciated what she went through that night.

Closing his eyes in a strained way, he rubbed them briefly and suddenly felt something soft and silky pressed against his chest. Looking down, he saw that Asuka was pressing her head against his chest.

When they were younger, they had both been about the same height. Shinji had grown tremendously in this last year and was roughly a head taller than Asuka now. He always laughed when she had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Shinji now brought a comforting arm around Asuka's shoulder and rested his chin on her head.

"Sorry...I didn't know that you were still thinking about that," mumbled Shinji.

"...I didn't want to worry you."

"I'd be more worried if you weren't constantly happy."

"You'll be more careful...right..."

Shinji could hear the small threat in her voice and nodded his head. "Not like I have a choice anyway, the truck might be stuck where it is for a while."

"Good, just make sure to bundle up when you go downtown tomorrow."

"If I do that I won't be able to walk properly."

Asuka laughed at that.

"So? What did you get while down there?"

"Just a few things for dinner tonight." Shinji hoped that Asuka wouldn't be able to notice the waver in her voice. She was usually good about noticing the slight inflections in his voice.

"What you get?"

"...Your favorites."

Asuka simply beamed.

"So what are you doing today?"

Shrugging Asuka said, "Nothing much to do. The garden wont be ready to be replanted for another three months, so thats out. I guess we'll just laze around a bit."

"...Actually I wanted to ask you about something."

"...What?"

"...How would you feel about celebrating Christmas this year?"

Asuka had to do a double take at that.

"Excuse me," she finally said after a long pause.

"Christmas, you know...we used to celebrate it-"

"I know!" She snapped back at him.

"Whats the problem then?"

"...Is that something we should even consider worrying about?"

"Why not? Nobody else is here-"

"My point exactly! Nobody else is here to celebrate with us."

"Isn't it fine with just the two of us?"

Asuka frowned at him for a minute, trying to think of anything to detour him from what she thought was a pointless idea. Finally deciding that she might as well listen to him, she said, "So? If we did do this, what did you have in mind? We can hardly have Christmas lights with no electricity."

"I was thinking about getting a tree and putting it in the living room. There is plenty of room in there after all."

Asuka started tapping her finger in slight annoyance, trying to think of any reason that having a Christmas tree in their living room would affect her daily ongoings.

"Just the tree?"

"Not like we have many options, and I'm surprised that you feel so against this."

"I just feel that its something that we should think about...as an after thought. Winter is probably my least favorite time of the year now anyway. ...How did you even come up with this harebrained idea."

For an answer, Shinji grabbed the calendar out of the grocery bags, and put it on the kitchen table.

"I found this today and was flicking through it when I remembered about Christmas."

"Odd way to remember about Christmas again," mumbled Asuka as she picked it up and leafed through it.

Pausing at one of the many circles that the shop keeper had made, she asked, "Where did you get this again?"

"At a store that we hadn't been to yet. Something caught my eye completely irrelevant to that calendar and I found it while looking around the store."

"I see," mumbled Asuka, pausing once more, this time looking at the December portion of the calendar.

Finally giving up, she said, "I suppose that there can't be any harm in this. Just as long as you can even get the tree in here. When do you plan on finding one?"

"Not till tomorrow, I'm tired after walking back from town."

"Should never have gotten that truck," whispered Asuka under her breath, though Shinji caught it.

"If I had never found that truck I'd still be building this house."

"...You have a point I suppose, though I still don't like it. And remember what I said about-

"Yes, yes I know. Now that we have that out of the picture, what are you doing today?"

"Lazing around as I said, unless you have a better idea."

For answer, Shinji simply looked around the corner towards the living room and in the direction of the stairs. For a reply, Asuka simply squinted her eyes in irritation.

"Answers a no I take it," asked Shinji?

"If you knew the answer already, why did you ask?"

"It changes."

"Yes, but not as soon as you'd like it...or for that matter me."

"Ah come on," said Shinji very quietly as he took a step towards Asuka.

"No means no Shinji! We were extremely lucky that I never became pregnant while in the wild. What would you have done if that happened? Having to carry everything, while constantly taking care of me and controlling my food intake."

"You can't deny it wasn't worth it," whispered Shinji, as he tucked a locket of her long, strawberry colored hair behind an ear.

Shivering slightly at his touch, Asuka managed to say back quite steadily, "No...I can't deny that. But with the here and now, we have to abide by certain rules."

"Ah screw the rules."

"Shinji!"

"Okay, okay...jeez, don't have to get so defense."

"...Sorry. I just don't want to foster a kid under these conditions. Maybe in another few years, when we know that we'll continue to be here, then we can try."

Shinji had to nod at that. "I suppose you're right."

"Of course I'm right. When have I ever been wrong?"

"That arrogance of yours still hasn't changed after all these years."

Asuka stuck out her tongue playfully at him. "And your idiocy hasn't changed either."

Shinji laughed heartily at that, tickling Asuka nose with his breath.

"C'mon you," said Asuka suddenly tugging on Shinji's arm.

"What?"

"You're freezing so I'm gonna help you warm up next to the fire."

Shinji smirked, "Thanks love."

Asuka rolled her eyes, but kissed him at the corner of his lips anyway.

"And no corny stuff either. I know you love me without having to resort to cheesy lines like that."

"You know me only too well."

"Considering I've spent the last three years of my life practically glued to your side, I'd like to think that I know you well."

Brushing the hair from her forehead away with his lips, he softly trailed down to meet her lips, only to have his lips meeting Asuka's finger.

"Anymore and I might just lose my self control."

"I can live with that."

Asuka's scowl was all Shinji needed to quickly shut up.

"...Kidding."

Asuka raised an eyebrow, but ignored it. Shinji could be a bit unbecoming when he got like this.

"Are you going to come or not?" Called Asuka from the hallway.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Funny," said Asuka as she rolled her eyes, and walked into the living room.

---

During the winter, there was a lot of downtime for the both of them, to the point where they spent most of there afternoon simply on the couch, in each others arms.

Several hours had passed since they had laid down on the couch together; several hours since they had fallen asleep in each others arms.

When Shinji awoke, he was unsurprised to see that it was dark outside. This was a normal occurrence, as the daylight during the winter months was much shorter than during the summer.

Tilting his head to his right, he saw the small fire that he had started in their fireplace had burned to almost nothing. He'd have to add more wood later.

Looking down at the sleeping angel resting on his chest, he had to reflect on how honestly lucky he was to have Asuka with him. He wasn't sure how things would have ended up if he had woken up after Third Impact with Misato beside him. Not this he was sure of. The way that they had parted still confused him, but he tried not to think about it.

Wrapping both his arms around her back, he rest his chin on her silky hair and softly whispered, "Its night. You hungry yet?"

Asuka stirred slightly in his arms but didn't say much.

Asuka had always been a rather heavy sleeper, of which was never more apparent then now.

Sighing slightly, Shinji let one hand trail down to the hem of the shirt she was wearing and let it slide smoothly up her bare back.

This was something that he sometimes did in the morning when he didn't want to wake up right away. Asuka would sometimes ask for a back rub or foot rub at nights, which Shinji was only to happy to comply with. He rarely did it any other times though, as he was usually under strict supervision by Asuka.

Asuka had always been fairly pale when she was younger, now though, with the attention she had given her garden, her skin had changed to a slightly golden color. Shinji absolutely loved the color. It wasn't to dark, or to white, just in the middle.

"You're quite daring," came a sudden muffled voiced.

Shinji jumped, slightly startled and looked down to see Asuka gazing keenly at him. She still had most of her face buried in his chest, which enabled her mouth to sound muffled.

Shrugging Shinji said, "I asked if you were hungry, but you didn't say anything."

"So you decided to give me a back rub?"

"Was I not supposed to?"

"Nah, it felt pretty good, being awoken like that."

"I'll remember that."

Asuka laughed.

"So? Whats for dinner?"

"I was going to make something you liked."

"Don't I like everything you make?"

"One of your favorites."

"Well that certainly narrows it down," said Asuka sarcastically. "You need any help?"

"I can handle it. You just continue staying warm."

"Hmm," sighed Asuka as she got off her makeshift pillow, dragging the blanket that they had been curled in moments before, to the other side of the couch.

"I'll call you when its ready."

Shinji thought he heard her say, "M'kay," but he wasn't entirely sure.

Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed a white apron that he had managed to find in the meat department of the supermarket downtown, and tossed it over his chest.

During there travels, Asuka had become more accustomed to Japanese food, which was understandable as finding German food or the ingredients was a rarity. Her favorite thing was a stir fry that Shinji had learned to make while living in Misato's apartment, and had recently perfected. The only thing that could possibly make it better was some chicken, soaked in soy sauce and diced bits of onion.

Even without the chicken, it was still one of her, and his, favorite things. It wasn't to hard to make either, just took some time to cook as he was working off a wooden stove.

Getting the fire going, he took out the pot for the white rice, and the pan for the vegetables.

To people that had never cooked on a wooden stove, there impatience would be terrible. For Shinji and Asuka, they had long become used to it, in fact, the wait time didn't even seem that long.

While the fire continued to grow hotter, Shinji chopped green and red peppers, courtesy of Asuka's garden. Dumping the vegetables in a bowl, he added some soy sauce, a little bit of peanut oil, and a few actual peanuts to go along with it.

Thirty minutes later, Shinji deemed the fire hot enough to cook the rice, and another twenty to start sautéing the vegetables. He could only imagine what Asuka's stomach sounded like right now.

After roughly an hour and a half in the kitchen, half of which was spent reading a book, he decided to call Asuka in.

"Asuka...its rea-"

His words had barely left his lips before she flew into the kitchen and wrapped her around his waste pulling him into a spine cracking hug.

"Asuka...can't...breathe."

Asuka briefly let go, kissing him on the head in the process, before squeezing his back again, this time a lot less painful.

"I've been wanting you to make this, but it just takes so much time and ingredients."

"I figured I'd use them today, it is our second winter here after all."

Kissing his forehead again, she breathed and said, "You are too wonderful, and if I'm ever snappy at you again-"

"No need to get so excited about it."

"But I absolutely love your stir fry's."

"And you used to complain about them three years ago."

"I was still used to German food, you can't blame me for that."

"Of which I never could get used to."

"You're Japanese, I'm surprised you even ate the German food I made on those rare occasions."

"Thats because you are such a good cook."

"You know the only thing that could make this better?"

"What?" Though Shinji would soon wish that he hadn't asked this.

"...Wine."

Shinji flinched slightly at the word, of which Asuka caught.

"Not a lot...just a little."

Shinji hesitated, but eventually gave in. "Just one glass then."

Asuka beamed, and Shinji felt like he was suddenly cut by a sharp knife, and melted on the spot.

The one thing he would never make the mistake of again, would be giving Asuka more alcohol then what was good for her. She wasn't so much an alcoholic, she just got a bit carried away.

When their house had finally been finished, they had thrown something like a party, even though it was just the two of them. Asuka had found where the wine was kept in the back of the supermarket during that day of shopping, and had opened a bottle during dinner. For the both of them, it was a first, which was probably a bad thing in hindsight.

Asuka had trouble holding her alcohol, and Shinji remembered the violent round of sex that had followed that night. He still had the claw marks to prove it, though the majority of that night he had spent rubbing Asuka's back as she violently retched into the toilet. That was something that he didn't care to relive and so he had implemented his own rule of limiting her to one glass occasionally at dinner.

He hoped he wouldn't regret this decision later, though it had proven fine so far.

Saying there usual thanks to still be on Earth, and more importantly to have each other, they dug in to what was an unusually good meal.

"Nice addition with the actual peanuts," said Asuka as she popped several green peppers in her mouth.

"The bag was just sitting there since the squirrels don't come out on the deck anymore, so I figured I'd use them."

"You should add it permanently to the recipe."

"If you like it that much I guess I will," said Shinji just before he took a sip of wine. He didn't mind the occasional glass, but it still felt weird when they weren't even legally allowed to drink yet. Then again, laws hardly mattered now.

"Hey Asuka?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you come with me to look for a tree tomorrow?"

"...I suppose. I've got nothing better to do."

"Thanks."

"Anything for this meal," said Asuka as she downed the rest of her wine.

After dinner, Shinji hastily cleared away the remains of the dinner, washing the plates, pots, and pans in the process. They had a limited amount of dishes and silverware so they had to wash them after each meal.

Finishing up, he proceeded back to the living room, where Asuka had vacated back to.

Grabbing several pieces of wood, he tossed them in the fire place before taking his place on the couch next to Asuka. Almost immediately, he felt her curling up next to him, and her head pressing against his side. She always seemed more comfortable the closer she got to him. Mimicking her thoughts, Shinji brought an arm around, resting it on her shoulder, and pulled her closer to him.

They stayed like this for a while, during which Asuka almost fell asleep several times. The combination of warmth from Shinji and the crackling fire was almost too much for her to handle. Though Shinji brought her awake with a sudden question.

"Do you ever miss the others Asuka?"

"Huh?"

"The others. You know...Kensuke, Touji, Hikari," he swallowed, "Misato."

"Sometimes...I guess. Honestly, my thoughts are usually geared toward you. Why do you ask though?"

"I was just wondering what everyone would be doing if Third Impact had never happened."

"Well, Touji and Hikari would have ended up together."

Shinji scoffed. "Thats for certain."

"Kensuke would have remained a virgin for life most likely, unless he gave up that weird military fetish, and Misato...probably would have ended up with Kaji again."

"I had forgotten about him...you used to like him, didn't you," said Shinji, teasing her slightly.

Shrugging, Asuka said, "I was young and he was the only guy I knew before I met you. My crush was understandable."

"Though weird."

"Oh please. You had a crush on Misato."

Shinji didn't have anything to reply to that.

"See, we were both stupid teenagers without any idea what love was all about."

"And now?"

"...Well, at least I think we got the love thing figured out," said Asuka as she brushed her lips playfully against Shinji's ear.

Shinji raised an eyebrow and said, "You're not drunk, are you?"

Snorting, Asuka said, "Please, I may be bad with alcohol...and know it, but one glass isn't enough to send me over the edge."

"You mean like how in control you were that first time."

"Exactly, the first time is very different then any other time. You were a little drunk yourself."

"I suppose," mumbled Shinji as he shrugged his shoulders. A large portion of that night was one large blur. He still never remembered how they had ended up in bed, when they had been in the living room moments before.

"What time do you plan on getting the tree?"

Turning towards her slumped figure against his side, he said, "Morning, I think. It might take some time to get it perfectly aligned, and it will probably need to be trimmed a little after I chop it down."

"What about ornaments, have you thought of that?"

...No, he hadn't really, and that seemed the weakest part of his idea.

"I haven't thought about it till now."

"I'm sure some of the houses downtown have Christmas stuff we can use," said Asuka in an offhanded sort of way.

Shinji hesitated though. The idea of plundering from other peoples house always seemed to make him feel ashamed of himself. After all, most of the possessions they had in their house had been someone else's at one point and it felt weird taking something that wasn't yours. Though as Asuka constantly reminded him, the furniture wasn't doing any good, sitting in those houses and collecting dust all day.

"Maybe," he finally said, "we can decided later."

"Bed?"

"If I plan on waking up early, we should."

Asuka nodded, sliding herself off the leather couch, and dragging the blanket with her. Holding out her hand, she beckoned Shinji to follow her.

He was only too happy to oblige.

---

"What do you think?" Asked Shinji as he propped himself up with the ax he had brought.

Asuka's muffled voice was too difficult to understand, so he had to ask again.

"I said what do you think of it, and I think you went a little overboard with the clothes."

Asuka scowled back at him, but managed to say, "Looks fine. Whatever gets us out of here the fastest because my fingernails are falling off.

Shinji laughed, and bent down to start chipping away at the tree.

They had woken up early, maybe as much as three hours ago, when the sun was just peaking over the horizon. Now it was in full bloom to there east.

Asuka always had a strong aversion to anything cold, which was why she was decked out in enough clothes for three people.

She had a scarf tied around her neck, blocking almost everything except her eyes, while the three layers of shirts, topped off with a sweatshirt and a jacket, seemed to make her look like the abominable snowman. She had even gone as far as to put triple layers of socks on and double pairs of gloves on. This last thing Shinji felt was the one that made the most sense, as the hands and feet were the first to get frostbite. He had simply settled on a shirt and jacket, while he wore a pair of rubber boots.

The tree that he was chopping down was maybe...half a mile or less from where their house was. If he had the truck, they could have searched for something possibly better, but that wasn't an option this year.

Felling the tree, he grabbed the end of the trunk and started dragging it back towards the house.

Walking beside him, Asuka finally took a good look at the tree and said, "I suppose that it doesn't look that bad, but it does need some pruning. ...It'll fit right?"

"I measured it, it should."

"And if not?"

"Take a bit off the top and call it good."

"For the one that came up with this scheme, you're rather lax about the potential problems."

"If there are any problems, I'll just deal with them as they come, just as I've always done. Anyway, are you coming with me downtown to search for ornaments or not?"

"Course, thats something that I actually want to look at. I want to find the best angel to put on top of the tree."

"We have to walk...you know that, right?"

Sighing, Asuka said, "Yes I know full well that I'll have to walk, and for once, I miss that smelly truck."

Shinji snorted, surprised that such words could ever come out of her mouth.

"We'll come on then. Hurry so we can go."

Shinji nodded and picked up the pace a little.

---

While not many houses occupied the interior of the small town, there were still several culdesac's

For a while, when Shinji had been working on the log cabin, they had moved around from house to house, sleeping in the living rooms. For some reason they never slept in any of the beds. Maybe it just felt weird, knowing that someone used to sleep there every night.

They had broken into most of the houses at the completion of there own house, looking for furniture, and kitchen utensils. Asuka even choose a painting that now hung in their bedroom. Many of the houses they entered though, looked as though animals had briefly lived there before, and they didn't want to take any chances with wild animals in a closed area. That, and last winter the roofing of a house they had been in before caved in. After that, they rarely entered a house unless they absolutely had to. ...Like right now.

The house the two of them were standing outside of was one of the first they had entered. The siding was grey, with white trim boards around the windows, while the doorframe was lined with oak wood.

It was a two story house, complete with a garage and a sizable backyard. Shinji had even suggested to Asuka that she simply redid the current garden at this house to one that solely gave them food. She had turned that down with nothing more than a cold glimmer in her eyes that Shinji hadn't seen in years.

"Well, lets go," Shinji quietly said to Asuka.

She simply nodded and followed him up the brief stairs to the front door.

This was also one of the few houses that they had not found signs of animal usage. It was why they kept it locked at all times, and kept the windows firmly shut. Shinji had found a spare key one day while searching for some tools, and it had hung in their kitchen ever since.

Inserting the key in the door, he turned it, and was greeted with a familiar sent.

Because of the need to keep it perfectly sealed, a musky odor had managed to find its way in, and it seemed to have strengthened with the cold weather.

Stepping over the threshold, Shinji glanced around and didn't notice anything out of place. It looked just as he remembered it that first day they had entered it, though with a significant lack of furniture. Most of their furniture had come from this house, including the bed, as none of it had been destroyed by wild animals yet.

The entire interior of the house was painted white, even the two bathrooms. The living room in their house was even based loosely off of the living room in this house, though the vaulted ceiling in their's was a lot less higher.

Shinji looked quickly around as he entered the living room, Asuka beside him, both remembering the things that had belonged here at one point. A large mirror that had hung over the fake fireplace here, now hung over there own real fireplace at home.

One thing that they were particular of, was removing all family portraits as they entered a house. They didn't want the pictures of people who used to live here watching them as they took their stuff. It felt creepy. Most of it they stored in box's and put them in the attics of the houses, though in this places case, they simply took the pictures that adorned the walls and tables, and turned them so they faced the other way.

"Shinji?" Said Asuka suddenly, cupping her hand in his.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"...Fine. I just get a little...quirked, whenever I think about the people that used to live here.

"...It is a strange feeling."

"Yeah..."

They both stood in silence for a minute, trying to imagine what this places occupants had been like. Shinji could vaguely remember from the pictures he had seen before that a family of four had lived here. A husband and wife, and there two daughters. He couldn't remember how old they might have been though.

"C'mon Shinji, lets check the attic, where the ornaments probably are."

"Yeah, O'kay."

The attic was above the garage, only accessible by a ladder, one of which Shinji had left here for this specific purpose.

Setting the ladder underneath the trap door, he put his foot on the first step, and tested its balance. Deeming it safe, he started climbing upwards, unhitching the latch at the top, and hoisting himself through the hole into the darkness.

The electricity in this house had been out before they had arrived here, making Shinji's work difficult, as the only light he had was the hole leading downwards into the garage.

Shifting boxes towards the light, he finally found the ones marked Christmas, and lowered himself onto the top step of the ladder.

"Find them?" Called Asuka from below him.

"Yeah, there's about four boxes."

"Lower them down and I'll start going through them.

Passing down the boxes she immediately started going through them, though she discarded one box altogether as it contained nothing but Christmas lights.

"How come that box is moved over there?" Asked Shinji as soon as his feet touched the ground.

"It contains nothing but Christmas lights," replied Asuka, while examining several ornaments that looked like crystals.

"Well, we could always hang up the lights at the supermarket, brighten it up a little."

Asuka raised and eyebrow and made a soft tutting sound.

"It was just a suggestion," said Shinji hurriedly.

"Well pardon me for not wanting the place we store our food lit up for every animal in town to see."

"Have you found anything?"

"Theres so much stuff here that we should just take the boxes back to our place and sort it out there."

"Sounds fine to me," said Shinji as he stacked two of the boxes on top of each other and lifted them.

Asuka nodded and followed suit, grabbing the least heavy of the three.

Smirky slightly, she said, "Race you back to the house."

"Funny," replied Shinji, rolling his eyes in the process.

Walking up the stairs that separated the garage from the rest of the house, he set the boxes down and shut the door with a snap as Asuka walked through. Exiting the front door, he manhandled the boxes one handed, pulled out the spare key, and locked the door.

Who knew when they'd be back next.

---

Sorting through the boxes took more time then they had expected, and several hours flew by before they collapsed on the floor in the living room, their heads lying next to each other.

"It sure didn't seem like there was that much stuff in those boxes back at the house."

"They had kids, remember, so of course they would have wanted plenty of things to decorate with."

"But just some of this stuff," said Shinji gesturing to a large pile of things they had tossed aside with barely a second glance, "seem utterly pointless."

"There was still some nice stuff we could use."

"So you don't want to look for more?"

"Not really, lets just stay like this for a while."

Shinji nodded his consent, and rolled around so that they were next to each other now.

"You have to admit though, celebrating Christmas wasn't a bad idea."

Asuka sighed and let a smile escape from her lips. "Okay you were right, this is something that we should celebrate. It just felt...weird, acknowledging something from our former life. Its like the same thing with our birthdays. But why were you so set on this?"

Shrugging, Shinji said, "We've shared just about everything I can think of, except for this. I wanted to spend Christmas with you."

"We've already done that though, back in Misato's apartment."

"That was different and seems like a distant memory, besides, you could hardly call that Christmas."

"I remember she brought home a small plastic tree that sat on the table in the kitchen."

"You could hardly fit any presents under the tree."

"Not that we hardly got anything."

"Have you thought what you wanted this year?" The question had escaped Shinji's lips before his mind had fully wrapped itself around the words.

Propping herself on her elbows, Asuka gazed wide eyed back at Shinji. "What I want?"

"A present...you know."

"I've got you, I don't need anything else."

"But I'm here all the time."

"And its a present that will last forever. Isn't that enough?"

"Anything at all?"

"Absolutely not! You, this house, my garden...what could I possibly want that I don't have already?"

"Electricity?"

"Thats hardly a necessity."

"Well...think of something..."

"I can't...or I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because its stupid. I want something...but I'm not ready...no, we're not ready."

"And that is?"

"A child," said Asuka so simply that it sounded as though she was talking about the weather.

Her words hit Shinji like a freight train and for a minute it looked as though he was suddenly afraid.

Sitting up promptly, he rubbed his eyes, as though he was in a dream and he could wake up if he willed himself to.

Swallowing loudly, he said, "What made you change your mind?"

"I didn't say I want one right now...just eventually."

"How does this relate to-"

"Let me finish...I've been thinking about this for a while now and particularly after yesterday-"

"But what about-"

"One more word and you sleep on the couch tonight."

Even though this shut Shinji's mouth, he didn't buy her threat. They wouldn't sleep anywhere unless they were right next to each other, even if the world was torn asunder, and even then, they'd die together.

Continuing, Asuka said, "Last night I was actually thinking about whether I wanted a boy or a girl, and possible names for them."

"What does this have to do with Christmas?"

Pulling Shinji back down to her level, she pressed her lips softly against his while twirling a strand of his hair around her finger.

"I want you to add an extra bedroom for a child that we will eventually have."

Shinji gazed back at her for a minute before mimicking her previous movements, and drew her close as he pressed his own lips against her. She responded enthusiastically and soon there lips were locked so firmly together that it looked as though they had been glued that way.

Hands passed over each others bodies, remembering familiar points of interest; hands joined together, while their tongues did likewise, and soon Asuka had to separate them as things were getting a little out of hand. She didn't want to make a mistake now.

"Whats wrong?" Asked Shinji worriedly.

Asuka bit her lip in frustration and said, "God damn it. I want to be with you so much, but the thought of fostering a child right now is just..."

"When are you safe again?"

"Middle of next week," mumbled Asuka as if she wished it would be safe in the next second.

"Well after Christmas," sighed Shinji.

"Is that what you had wanted for your present?"

"I can't deny that I would have been looking forward to it."

"You and me both," sighed Asuka.

"We should probably clean this up," said Shinji as he looked around the living room which was usually spotless but now had Christmas objects strewn across the floor.

"I'll make dinner then, while you clean up."

"Hey Asuka."

"Hmm?"

"About your request...well I can do it, but I don't think I'll be able to until this snow disappears."

Asuka smiled, as though she was in no hurry. Brushing her lips briefly against his she said, "I can wait," and disappeared into the kitchen.

---

There lifestyle followed a pattern, much as it had these past few weeks.

The tree was brought inside the house the next morning without too much difficulty, and Asuka had chosen a theme for their tree.

The family that owned the ornaments before seemed to have a fondness for things that glittered. If the tree had lit up, Shinji was sure that it would have sent such a piercing light that it would have blinded him.

Crystals of all sorts hung from the tree, many shaped as icicles. Asuka had even found a set of small statues of Jesus in a manger with Joseph, Mary, and the three wise men. The entire thing was on the oak table in front of the leather couch with candles on either side.

Though she was a bit bummed that she had failed to find an angel, she was pleased enough to except the glass star that now hung at the top of the tree.

"Looks pretty good," said Shinji as he walked into the living room. He had just returned from the six mile walk from their house to downtown and back, where he had chosen a few things for dinner that night.

"I still don't think I have it exactly as I imagined it."

"Imagined?"

"I pictured what it would look like before I started, you know, to figure out where I wanted to go with the decorations."

"Guess I'll never understand the finesse of something like this."

"Not likely. So what did you get?"

"More than I usually did. Its snowing again and the wind didn't help."

"You cold?"

"I can live."

"Suit yourself," mumbled Asuka as she flopped down on the couch, lit the two candles on the table, and indulged herself in a book she had picked up sometime ago. Whenever they saw a book that might intrigue them, they grabbed it. It was an extremely good way to pass the time.

The day passed slowly, more slowly then previous days. Shinji attributed it to the fact that they had nothing to do now but wait around for Christmas. Everything had been taken care of, and now all they had to do was wait it out.

Dinner was a rather laid back affair, since Shinji had grabbed three nights of food, they both sat on the couch where it was sure to be warmer. Almost to warm in fact.

After the hasty dinner, they both curled up next to each other under the same blanket, and soon Shinji was drifting off to sleep. The combination of the heat from the fireplace and Asuka's warmth was just to much for his mind to handle, what with the six miles he had walked, he soon fell asleep.

When Shinji first woke up, he had thought that he had slept through the night and that it was now morning. As his vision came slowly back into focus, so did awareness, and boy did the danger signs immediately start going off.

A wine bottle was perched on the edge of the table, close to falling over at that. All Shinji would have had to do was bump it, and it would have gone reeling towards the floor.

"Sh-in-jiiiiii," came a slurred voice directly to the left of him. He could smell the alcohol on her breath, even from here.

"...Asuka?"

She let out a small hiccup, and managed to spill the remainder of wine that was still in her glass. At least she had used a wine glass, and not drunken out of the bottle.

"Hiya Shin-iii!"

Shinji was rendered speechless. How could she have gotten into the alcohol? He always had it locked and kept the key in a place only he knew about. ...Unless he had forgotten to lock it two nights again when they had brought it out. He suddenly cursed that one simple glass he had.

Judging by how little was left in the bottle, Asuka was fairly well gone.

"Asuka...how many have you had?"

"Three? Two? Thirty-two?"

Shinji wasn't going to get very far with this, and most likely she really believed she had thirty-two.

"Asuka why did you-"

She suddenly let out a high pitched screeched then and toppled backwards on the other side of the couch. For a moment, Shinji thought that she might have passed out and was prepared to carry her up stairs to sleep it off, when she suddenly sprang upright, and looked at him with a piercing gaze.

Crawling forward slowly, she let the blanket slowly slide off her lithe body and slither to the floor. With a glint in her eyes, she continued crawling forward until she was sitting directly in front of him. The long, sleeveless shirt she was wearing was dangling loosely over one side, while the sweats she had been wearing, had gotten caught on an edge of one of the cushions and was now half way down her butt.

"Asuka..." mumbled Shinji meekly, "This isn't smart."

She simply growled back at him. She was extremely aggressive in what she wanted while she was drunk.

Crawling forward, inch by inch, she finally perched herself between his legs and started tracing a line in the shirt he was wearing.

"Asuka, we really shoul-"

Asuka suddenly surged forward, crashing against Shinji's lips so hard that he thought his jaw had been dislocated.

Shinji's mind issued a sudden blank as lust overcame the common sense and the part of his mind that was in control was suddenly lost.

Pushing back with equal force, Shinji sent Asuka backwards using nothing but his lips until he was towering over her. Breathing heavily, as though he had just returned from town, he crushed his entire body on Asuka's, smothering his lips against hers. There tongues found each other and soon they were both doing the tango in each other mouths. This hardly ment anything to either of them, and Asuka even less, since they had long since explored each other so thoroughly that if they were given a drawing of each others bodies, they could accurately point out every mole, blemish, and birthmark.

Pulling back briefly for air, Shinji suddenly felt Asuka's arms wrap around his neck and pull him back towards her, effectively cutting off his brief air supply.

Letting out a small moan of excitement, Asuka's legs wrapped around Shinji's back, while her pelvis shot forward, crushing hers against Shinji's. Shinji let out a small yelp of pain as the bulge in his pants was suddenly crushed against Asuka's body.

Hands entwining in his hair, Asuka laid her chin on his shoulder and started bitting his ear, and none to gently at that. Finger nails clawing into his back, she trailed down from his ear to his mouth, shoving her tongue forcefully at the corner of his lips, and he soon yielded her passage.

Shinji's hands trailed down her back, his hands running through her hair as he went, and paused as he reached the hem of her shirt.

Sensing the slight hesitancy in his movements, Asuka pulled back for a moment to look Shinji in the eyes. Nodding her head very acutely, she crushed her lips against his once more, just as his hands went soaring up her shirt, gliding across her bare skin, and skipping over the latch of her bra.

Letting out another shrill moan of ecstasy, this time as his hands glided across her bare skin, Asuka arced herself backwards, as her entire body shot forward again, grinding against Shinji manhood.

Like a teeter-totter, Asuka pushed herself against Shinji's chest, sending him back to the starting point. Landing on top of him, Asuka slid a hand up his shirt, gliding her finger nails across his bare chest, and this time it was Shinji's turn to shiver uncontrollably.

"Asu-"

Before he was able to get even one simple word out, Asuka's lips overlapped his, forcing his mouth open and her hot, alcohol still covered breath into Shinji's mouth where he breathed a lungful of it.

Pulling backwards for a minute, she proceeded to kiss every inch and corner that she could readily reach without having to rip his clothes to shreds. Though those would soon have to go, as Asuka glanced down at the strained bulge in his pants. She wetted her lips as she thought where that bulge might soon be.

Looking at Shinji, she paused for a moment as she saw the shiny sweat and the crease on his forehead. Titling her head to the side she glanced at him keenly, trying to see what sort of reaction he'd have if she suddenly started removing his pants.

Gulping several mouthfuls of air into his lungs, Shinji took a steady breath and said, "Asuka...while this is something that is painful for me, in more ways than one, I really think we shouldn't continue."

Asuka simply smiled and started tracing a line just above his crotch.

Feeling as though he was about to hyperventilate, Shinji took several more gulps of air and said, "You said that you didn't want this...yet. So drunk or not I'm still going to-"

The line Asuka had been drawing moments before suddenly became wider as it now including the region of his manhood. Tracing in a circle, she passed the rigid bulge in his pants several times before her forefinger slowly trickled itself up towards the tip where she lightly tapped it, making Shinji wince. If he continued, he knew he wouldn't be able to pull himself back.

"Asuka, you're drunk."

"I want you," she simply said.

"I will not have sex with you like this. This is not love!"

"Have something then," she said while glancing at the empty wine bottle on the table. "There's plenty more where that came from. We can go all night if you want to."

"You're drunk!"

"Big fucking deal," she said while slurring her words. "I want you inside of me."

Her hand suddenly shot forward, grasping the button of his pants and attempted to wrench them open. Surely if she had succeeded, her lips would have wrapped around his manhood and that would have been then end of Shinji's control, though he was to fast for her.

Before she had even started to loosen his pants, Shinji's hand shot towards hers and grabbed her hand in a vice like grip.

"No, absolutely not!"

Asuka's lips suddenly shot forward, wrapping themselves around Shinji's, though this time, he didn't feel anything except the drunkenness of her actions. As her tongue attempted to penetrate his lips, he pushed backwards a little, sending her falling backwards across the couch.

Sitting up quickly, spitting hair out of her mouth, she yelled back, "WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME!"

"You're drunk damn it! I don't want you like that! I want you to love me!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL THIS THEN!"

"A drunk who lost control of herself!" Shinji shouted these words before he had fully grasped them in his head.

Asuka's face twisted up in an ugly grimace before falling to an even uglier depression. It was one of disgust, and it was geared towards herself.

"Asuka...I didn't mean that."

"No you did, but you're right. I am a drunk."

"No you're not, you just...can't control yourself after you have a few glasses."

"If you say I am, then I am."

"Asuka!"

"I'm going to sleep, don't bother me."

"Wait damn it!"

Asuka completely ignored his protests, marching out of the living room and up the stairs to their bedroom.

Shinji's arm was still outstretched towards the staircase, long after Asuka had left to go upstairs.

Running his hands through his hair, he had a sudden urge to topple the Christmas tree behind him, but held the urge to dismantle stuff in. Destroying stuff was considered childish, and he was no longer a child, at least he thought.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled.

This had been there first big fight since...before Third Impact. They had argued a lot during there trips, but most of it had been harmless. This latest one was a disaster.

'I did make the right decision?' Shinji asked himself. 'Asuka would not have wanted this, not like that. She'll be glad that I refused her tomorrow right? Its not like she's one to hold a grudge against me or anything...right?'

He wasn't sure how accurate that might be, as she certainly had held a grudge against him for being a better Eva pilot.

Grabbing the blanket that lay discarded on the floor he prepared to wrap himself on sleep on the couch.

'This is the first time we'll be sleeping separately in almost two years,' Shinji reminded himself. It felt ominous for some reason.

Rolling over to a more comfortable side, he tried to fall asleep but found it difficult. If only he had known that Asuka was having an equally difficult time falling asleep.

---

Shinji couldn't remember ever being in a more awkward scenario...well, maybe when he had learned that Rei was a copy of his mom, that was certainly a contender.

Several days had passed and now it was the morning before Christmas Eve. Since that night of the argument conversation had come to a stand still and they talked in a formal tone whenever they were addressing each other. They were acting like complete strangers towards each other.

Shinji hadn't slept on the couch since that first night, thankfully. Both of them had suffered because of that, physically and mentally. Though, every morning, Asuka had been the first to wake up, and the first to occupy herself with something. Whenever Shinji came downstairs in the morning, she was just cleaning up the dishes and excusing herself from the kitchen. Each time, Shinji attempted to start up a conversation, to clarify about that night, but each time Asuka would hurriedly leave before Shinji could fully get his words out.

The snow flurry had gotten much worse in the past few days and Shinji was afraid that they would get snowed in tomorrow. Thankfully, he had enough wood to last a week at best.

Walking through the door that lead into the kitchen, he brushed the flakes off his jacket and his hair before he hung his jacket in the closest beside the door.

"Its getting worse, isn't it," came a sudden voice from the doorway that led into the living room.

Turning towards the sound of her voice, Shinji was rather surprised to see Asuka leaning against a wooden beam that separated the living room from the kitchen. Unsure whether she expected an answer or not, he waited several seconds with bated breath. After it became apparent that she was waiting on his answer, he glanced out the kitchen window, sighed, and said, "Yeah...it is. We have a good chance of getting snowed in tomorrow. At least the wind has subsided a little bit."

Asuka paused for a moment, deciding if she wanted to continue her questions, but when her desire for answers outweighed her shame of what she had done, she asked, "Do we have enough food to get us through the next few days?"

"...Yeah, I made sure to pick up enough since I didn't know when I'd be able to get back down there. Snow was piling up in front of the door and I had to-"

Asuka walked out of the room while Shinji had been in the middle of talking, leaving Shinji looking like an idiot as he talked to the empty room. Hanging his head with his own shame, he placed the groceries on the kitchen table, and shuffled out into the living room.

Asuka was laying on the couch, her back facing Shinji while her face was turned the other way. She was completely absorbed in the book she was reading, and her simple body movement told Shinji that she was in no mood for conversation right now. Shinji had to agree with her.

Walking into the hallway, he glanced at the front door briefly, thinking that he might go for a walk, though deciding that he had walked enough for one day, he instead turned left, and made his way up to there bedroom.

Flopping down on there mattress, he lay flat on his back, and passed a hand over his forehead.

'When will this stop,' he wondered? 'I don't know how much more I can take of this silent treatment. Is Asuka honestly angry at me for telling her no? Maybe she really hadn't been drunk. In that case I can see why she'd be angry for what I told her. But that still doesn't explain why she would tell me one thing, and then act on a sudden emotion. Its unlike her.'

Rolling over onto his side, he stared at the place where Asuka laid next to him every night and tried to imagine her there right now. The image wouldn't, or couldn't come, try as he might.

Shifting over to the spot where she usually lay, he buried his face into her pillow and took in the sweet flowery scent of her hair.

Sleep soon overcame him, in which he dreamed that he was back at Misato's apartment with Asuka. Third Impact had never been initiated and the angels never bothered them again. In his dream, several years had passed, during which him and Asuka grew to what they resembled today.

He saw that more then just him, Asuka, and Misato were crowded into the small kitchen. Everybody from his class, including Rei, and several people from Nerv, were standing around a birthday cake with eighteen candles stuck in it.

A rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday' started with Touji leading, during which Asuka seemed to be blushing furiously, and Shinji understood next second as she leaned forward and blew out the eighteen candles in one go.

Everybody clapped, as Asuka started stammering her thanks to everybody. Shinji then finally noticed himself, standing in the throng of people, and realized that throughout it all, he had been standing on Asuka's right, with his hand clasped in her left hand. Shinji then saw Asuka glance in his direction, while his dream self returned the glance with a wink, and the two of them looked down at Asuka's hand where a small golden band rested on her ring finger.

Marriage, huh?

It was something that had briefly come up after they had finished with their house. You could call it irrelevant, considering that they were the only people left on the planet, but marriage is very symbolic, and never so much to anyone else as it was to them.

It was very quiet, as it should have been. When Shinji had finished the house, he had asked her what she thought of the idea. She said she didn't care one way or another, that he was hers forever, and some silly vow wasn't going to strength that anyway. Eventually he had convinced her of the idea, and as some ideas were drawn up for it, Asuka threw herself at the prospect of marriage.

They got married directly in front of their house, and tried to make it as realistic as possible. Asuka even stuck with the tradition of denying the groom the view of the brides gown until during the wedding. Shinji had hated that. It had taken much planning and self sacrifice on her part, but eventually she found something that suited her tastes well enough after going through enough houses.

The ring was another matter, and Shinji had spent a good time thinking about it. He didn't want to give Asuka something that somebody else had received, he wanted it to be special in its own way. The difficult part was of course how he was exactly supposed to achieve this.

A part of him was still ashamed of what he did, but the other part was deeply thrilled when he had slipped the ring on Asuka's finger.

He had gathered a large portion of golden jewelry that he had found while going through many women's drawers, some things of which he wished he had never seen, and had come back with enough gold to make several rings.

It took him some time, but he had managed to melt the gold down with a furnace that had been in a far corner of the hardware store. Using a mold close to that of a socket, he managed to make a ring for Asuka. However, when he was done with it, he realized that he had no idea if the ring would even fit on Asuka's ring finger. Maybe some force had worked with him that day to assist him, because he could still hardly believe he had succeeded.

Neither of them had much of an idea exactly what the vows were supposed to be. Normally, you are supposed to rehearse the vows before the day of the wedding, but they didn't plan that part much in advance. In a way, there never was much to say for this part, they already loved each other enough that it was difficult to put into mere words. Though it went something like this...

Asuka stood on the front porch of their house while Shinji rested his knee on the step directly below her. Holding out his hand for her, she took it and he said these words...

"Today...I take you, Asuka Langely Soryu to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love and cherish you; to stay with you forever, until the end of our lives, and forever until the end of time."

Finishing his spur of the moment words, Shinji stood up to his full height, while Asuka held her other hand out, and Shinji placed his in hers.

"And I, take you, Ikari Shinji, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to be by your side forever; in sickness or in health, in the dark and the light of the coming years, and forever until our love is scattered across the cosmos."

Shinji then took a step upward, and stood next to Asuka. There vows completed, they both said I do simultaneously, and then Shinji took out the ring and slipped it onto Asuka's finger.

The kiss that followed was probably the most passionate that they had ever experienced. It was like fireworks had suddenly been set off inside Shinji's mouth.

Smiling at each other, they walked through the front doors of their house.

Since then, Shinji had attempted to give Asuka jewelry occasionally, though she refused each time, saying that what she had couldn't make her any happy then she already was. She hadn't taken that ring off since that day.

Seeing himself and Asuka in a much happier atmosphere brought these memories to the surface and he wondered what their wedding would have been like if people had attended it. Misato would most likely have been in charge of the entire thing...and most likely gotten her way too. He couldn't imagine Asuka being to picky about the decorations, the dress maybe, but not much else.

These thoughts whirled around his mind for what felt like an eternity, finally pushing his mind to the limit as he sat bolt upright in bed.

The sun was just starting to go over the horizon he saw as he looked out the bedroom window, so he had at least been asleep for most of the morning and afternoon.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he stood up, stretched, and decided that he might as well see what Asuka was doing.

Making his way down stairs, he first peaked into the living, only to see Asuka passed out on the couch, with the book laying on her chest, and the blanket wrapped around her body. Her hair was a disheveled mess as it lay in great large bunches, and spilled over the arm of the couch.

Sighing in a meek sort of way, he walked over to the couch, picked the book of her chest, and placed it on the table in front of her. He was tempted to carry her upstairs, where it would no doubt be more comfortable, but didn't really want to wake her. Instead, he walked into the kitchen and whipped up some tomato soup for her.

Walking back into the living room with the bowl in one hand, and a glass of water in the other, he set them both down on the table, and nudged her shoulder.

"...Asuka...hey..."

She mumbled something unintelligent and simply rolled over, trying to become more comfortable.

Raising an eyebrow at her lifeless form, Shinji untucked the blanket from around her body and tossed it to the other side of the couch. Soon her eyes twitched as she noticed the sudden lack of warmth, and started running her hands over her legs, searching for the hem of the blanket.

"Asuka...I made you some food," said Shinji, this time much more louder.

Her eyes slowly opened at the sound of his voice, squinting first in the direction where she smelled food, and then up into Shinji's face.

Her mouth opened into a comical 'O' as she took full recognition of Shinji's face. Suddenly something fleeting flickered in her eyes and she hastily looked back at the soup in front of her. Realizing just how hungry she suddenly was, she crossed her legs on the couch, and starting lapping up spoonfuls of the tomato soup, each bite watched by Shinji.

Finishing it quickly, she quietly put it back on the table, where Shinji took it wordlessly.

"Want anything else?" He asked hesitantly. Her reply was to ignore him and pick up the book that she had been reading. He took that as a giant no. Even so, he wasn't going to let up that easily. He was determined to pull her out of this stupor.

After depositing the bowl in the sink, he walked back into the living room, completely ignoring the awkward silence, and sat down on the other end of the couch. Asuka gave no heed to his presence.

Shinji contemplated how to go around drawing her into a conversation, and eventually settled on being blunt.

"How long is this going to last," he voiced into the open air, seemingly bereft of any other presence.

Predictably, Asuka didn't reply.

"If its about what I said, I'm sorry. It was uncalled for and rude of me to call you that."

Again...silence.

"Please Asuka, I hate this silence. Not talking to you is like having a constant thorn in my heart."

...

"Asuka?"

"...what," she finally said softly.

"Please, I hate this."

"That makes two of us," she snapped, abandoning her silence. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"I said I was sorr-"

"And what about me, huh? How do you think I feel? How do you think I feel about practically raping you!"

"Asuka thats a little much-"

"No, its not! What I did was so revolting and so disgusting I'm surprised you even have the tenacity to look at me."

"That has nothing to do with this. I still love yo-"

"HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY THAT AFTER WHAT I DID TO YOU!"

"Asuka it was just as much my fault. I didn't close the cupboard properly."

"That shouldn't be necessary in the first place! If I knew how to control myself you wouldn't have to keep it locked! I did something terrible after telling you that I wouldn't allow us having sex right now. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel!"

"...Asuk-"

"I can't even look at you without being ashamed of myself! I feel like shit! I can only be thankful that you're a better husband than I am a wife."

Her words seemed to strike a nerve in Shinji's brain, because next second he was flying across the couch, taking Asuka with him, and pinning her against the arm of the couch.

"Shin-"

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT YOU'RE A BAD WIFE! I LOVE YOU, FLAWS AND ALL!"

"Shinji..."

"You're perfectly fine the way you are! Any different and you wouldn't be the Asuka I know!

"But I-"

"I don't care who's fault this stupid thing was! Just stop blaming yourself, its killing me."

"What I did was-"

Shinji muffled her voice by placing the palm of his hand against her mouth. Raising a finger up to his lips he said, "I. Don't. Want. To. Here. It! I could have said no at the start! I could have carried you up to the bedroom after I first saw what kind of a state you were in. But I didn't. You know why? Because some completely fucked up part of me was enjoying that! It disgusts me too. The fact is that you have such a power over me that makes my entire body shut off except for my dick!"

Asuka was rather surprised and the crude usage of his words, and it showed on her face.

"So don't go blaming yourself. You do not have to shoulder anything. So return to who you were before all this bullshit."

"...Shinji."

"What!" He snapped back without thinking.

"Before anything else, could you please get off me. You're kinda crushing me."

Realizing that he still had her pinned against the couch, he quickly let go of her shoulders and moved to the other side of the couch.

"Sorry...you okay?"

"Fine," she mumbled.

They sat like that for a while, just looking at each other, gagging who would be the first to continue the discussion. Finally Asuka got sick of the waiting and said, "Now what?"

Shrugging, Shinji said, "Beats me. All the fight just evaporated out of me."

"...But we are talking..."

"Seems so."

An awkward silence passed between them again. How exactly were they supposed to talk to each other when they had acted like complete strangers the past few days.

"Was this our first fight," asked Asuka suddenly?

"The first large one since Third Impact...yeah."

"Its been so long since then."

"Hmmm."

"Shinji?"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry..."

"...Its okay, I am too."

Dragging themselves towards each other, they met in the middle of the couch and embraced each other as though they had been apart for a year. Soon a fountain started trickily down Asuka's cheeks, landing on Shinji's shoulder, while a silent stream of tears poured from his own eyes.

What the hell had they been doing these past days?

After wiping each others tears away, they moved closer to each other, with Asuka's head laying on Shinji's shoulder.

"I've never seen you like that before Shinji," said Asuka suddenly speaking up.

"Like what?"

"You were so...defensive, I guess is the word; but when I said that I was a bad wife, you seemed legitimately angry. I don't think I've ever seen you that angry before.

"I was...honestly angry actually. I hated what you said."

"But why? I can't ever remembering calling you my husband or you calling me your wife. After the vows I felt that it was just an unspoken agreement to continue calling each other as we usually did."

"But isn't that what normal people would have done?"

"Yes, but we never really acted like we were married. The only thing that signified our marriage was the ring and our vows."

"Would you prefer that I called you my wife, or honey and darling?"

Asuka's eye twitched in annoyance. Replying back, she said, "No, I don't want you to call me stupid names like that. I just wondered why you became so angry about what I said."

Shinji took a few minutes to answer, rolling it all over in his mind, and tried to remember what he could from his dream.

"Early today, after I came back from town, I fell asleep upstairs. I had a dream that we were back in Tokyo-3 with everybody, and Third Impact had never happened and the angels were gone. It was your eighteenth birthday and everybody was at Misato's apartment to wish you a happy birthday. I was with you, standing by your side...and we were engaged it looked like. There was a golden band around your ring finger. After that I thought about the vows that we spoke to each other."

"Until our love is scattered across the cosmos," sighed Asuka as she remembered a part of her words. "What was yours again?"

"To love you until the end of time."

"I'm holding you to it, so don't run out on me," smirked Asuka.

"Wouldn't dream of it," replied Shinji.

"Until the end of time is a long while to spent with somebody."

Smiling, Shinji said, "I couldn't spend it with anybody else."

Rolling her eyes, Asuka said, "I suppose 'until our love is scattered across the cosmos,' isn't exactly all that endearing either."

"We had no idea what we were doing at the time and just acted on a spur of the moment. I think we did fairly well considering what we were doing all by ourselves."

Sighing, Asuka stroked the side of Shinji's cheek for a brief instance before pulling back quickly.

"Whats wrong?" Asked Shinji suddenly worried.

"Sorry," said Asuka hurriedly. "I've just been avoiding you these past few days, and kinda acted on a reflex."

"Its fine...we both were."

"You hungry?"

"...A little I guess. Why?"

"I'll make something, you wait here."

"No, I can help."

"You cooked for me, now its my turn to cook for you."

Shinji who had been half way to standing, suddenly sank back down into the couch cushions. Meanwhile, Asuka hurriedly stood up, brushed her lips against Shinji's for the smallest of an instance, and hurriedly off into the kitchen.

Shinji could definitely notice the difference in her mood now. Before it had been dark and depressing, now it was back to the way it had been. She walked with a spring in her step now.

"How does spaghetti sound?" Said Asuka poking her head back into the living room.

"Without the meat?"

"No other way of having it."

"Works for me," said Shinji as he crossed his legs, while sitting on the couch.

---

As Shinji had predicted, they were snowed in the next day. The wind had picked up during the night and had blown snow in front of every door, including the back door.

They both woke up virtually at the same time, their arms wrapped armed each other in a tight embrace, keeping each other warm against the coldness. Neither wanted to abandon the warmth that was shared between them. Eventually though, Shinji released his grasp around Asuka' waist and shifted to the far side of the bed, and prepared to get up.

Asuka groaned as the coldness seeped into the recently vacated spot by Shinji.

"Do you really have to go," she mumbled?

"The fire needs to be started downstairs, unless you'd prefer to stay in bed all day."

"That sounds like a pretty good deal to me," sighed Asuka. "You could even make breakfast and we could eat it in bed."

Shinji simply snorted and exited the room. Laziness was one thing, complete disregard for anything else other than self gratification was another.

It took Asuka several minutes to finally decide on getting up, but when she did, she thought that she might as well warm herself up by taking a shower.

Things didn't turn out quite like she had planned it.

Walking into the bathroom, she discarded her clothes in a heap by the door. Shinji constantly said that they had a hamper for a reason, and that she should learn how to use it.

Stepping into the shower, she turned on the faucet, expecting hot water to come erupting out of the shower head.

Downstairs, all Shinji could hear was a high pitched scream as ice cold water blasted Asuka in the face.

Racing upstairs, Shinji ripped opened the bathroom door, only to see a naked Asuka, dripping from head to toe in freezing cold water.

Standing dumbstruck in the open door way, Shinji opened his mouth several times, until closing it as he could find nothing to say.

Sniffling slightly, Asuka managed to say, "Hot water heaters out..."

"...So I see."

Next minute, Shinji grabbed a towel off the bathroom counter that Asuka had been planning to use, and tossed it over her wet hair. Moving the towel through her hair, he slowly dried it with a combination of his hands and the towel. Moving carefully down her body, he passed over her plump breasts, trying to ignore the softness of them, trailed the towel over her back, pausing at the crevasse of her butt; he didn't want to push his luck. Bending down, he slid the towel over her silky smooth legs, before finish at her toes.

Standing back up, he set the towel back on the counter, before wrapping his arms around her waist, and pressing his body against his.

"Better," he whispered?

"A little," she replied.

"Sorry, I should have realized that the hot water heater would have gone out with the weather the way it is."

"Its fine, I'm warm at least," mumbled Asuka as she buried her face in the gap of Shinji's collarbone.

Smiling slightly, Shinji removed his arm from around her waist and instead placed it on her shoulder.

Beckoning to her, he said, "C'mon, I've started a fire downstairs and its certainly a lot warmer then up here.

Asuka's face broke into a smile, and she placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Works for me. Just let me put on something a little less revealing." She said this while glancing pointedly at the fact she was wearing absolutely nothing.

"Right," said Shinji, slightly distracted at her figure. No matter how many times Shinji had seen her naked, he always marveled at how perfectly her body was shaped.

Kissing him on the lips, this time a little more seductively as her tongue pressed lightly against his lips, she trailed off into there bedroom to slip into something more comfortable, and more importantly warmer.

Shinji watched her leave, before he himself left the bathroom, and proceeded downstairs to throw more wood on the fire.

---

Even though he had hopes, they were short lived, but in reality, it didn't matter much.

Even though the snow was piled up so high against the door, that if he would have been able to open it, it would have reached just below his chin, he still attempted to wrench open the door.

After several unsuccessful attempts at this fruitless endeavor, he abandoned his attempts, and retreated back to the warmth of Asuka's side.

Walking into the living room, Shinji first saw her sitting up with a smirk on her face. Resting her arm underneath her chin, she opened her mouth and said, "No go...just as I said?"

"I could still hope that we could have gotten out."

"And I told you it was pointless and a waste of energy. Now get over here and warm up with me."

Shinji shrugged his shoulders in resignation, and its not like he could do anything else.

Sitting down next to Asuka, she drew the blanket over his shoulder, as he grasped the hem of it and pulled it down, bringing her with the blanket, so that she ended up resting against his shoulder.

"I don't see why you were so set on getting out of here."

"No particular reason..."

"No I want to hear what you wanted outside that was so important."

"Its stupid, really."

"Shinji!"

"Fine...I figured that it would be kinda fun to build a snowman with you."

It took Asuka a few seconds to let Shinji's words sink in, before she started laughing maniacally, and rolling around on the couch.

"I told you it was stupid," sighed Shinji after a few seconds.

"Seriously! You wanted to build a snowman?"

"...It was just an idea..."

"Well, it was a dumb idea."

"I thought you would say something like that..."

"Well, it was..."

"Sorry, I just realized that we hadn't done that yet."

"Isn't that something that we would have down when we were five years old?"

"We've never made together."

"Doesn't mean we have to," said Asuka snobbishly.

"Fine, I get it, it was dumb."

"Besides...its cold outside," she said while snuggling next to him, "and its much warmer next to you."

"You wouldn't even let me go outside anyway."

"...True," whispered Asuka as she pressed her lips softly against the soft skin of his neck. "You're mine, and I'm not letting something stupid like a blizzard take that from me."

Shinji finally sighed, in resignation to her demands. He had never expected anything better to begin with.

"So we stay here for the rest of the day," asked Shinji.

"I like it here," said Asuka, simply tracing a finger around Shinji's lips. Smiling back at her, he brushed a loose strand of hair out of the way, that had been hanging in front of her eyes.

"Hungry?" He asked suddenly.

Asuka's stomach gave a loud rumble as he spoke his words, making her face turn a dull shade of red. The time of embarrassment had long passed, and he was rather surprised to see a faint blush spread across her cheeks.

"...I'll take that as a yes," Shinji mumbled in what he thought was a fairly inaudible voice.

Asuka completely ignored him, though Shinji knew what she really wanted. Standing up, Shinji moved the blanket so that it covered the entirety of Asuka, making sure that it kept her warm in his absence, and walked into the kitchen to fry up a few eggs.

He had become an expert at frying eggs on their rudimentary stove, and soon had a heaping plate of eggs seated in front of Asuka, while two pieces of toast laid on another, complete with butter and strawberry jam. The latter had come from the garden.

"Thanks," she mumbled, as she picked up the plate of eggs, realizing just how hungry she suddenly was.

"You shouldn't eat so fast," said Shinji offhandedly, with a piece of toast have way to his mouth.

Asuka simply looked at him, as an annoyed stare passed over her features, though Shinji thought that she slowed down considerably.

Hastily clearing away the dishes, Shinji returned to the spot beside Asuka, and soon they were back to the way they had been moments before.

"Thanks for the breakfast by the way," said Asuka.

"...Don't worry about it."

"I'll make dinner then."

"M'kay."

Wrapping his arms around Asuka's shoulders, he pulled her to himself, so that her head was resting on his shoulders, and then tilted his head so it was resting on top of hers. Stroking the underside of her chin, his lips slowly traveled from her forehead, pausing at the corner of her eyes, and trailed to meet her lips where they met in a fiery embrace.

Breaking apart momentarily, Asuka looked up at him and said, "Isn't this much better then building a stupid snowman?"

Shinji simply nodded his consent, before leaning back into Asuka's lips.

---

Shinji seemed to go in and out of consciousness many times leading up to him waking up late into the night. Afterwards, he wasn't sure if it had been his awareness that had woken him up, but whatever it was, he would be eternally thankful.

When his eyes slowly opened, he didn't immediately register the coldness that seemed to be lapping at his ears and neck. Soon though, he realized that the fire had long since gone out, leaving a thin trail of smoking leading up the chimney.

Carefully untangling himself from Asuka and the blanket, he tucked the corners around Asuka, being sure that no part of herself would be cold. Slowly getting up he felt an ice cold breeze pierce his skin, and created a shiver down his spine. Why was it so awfully cold in here all the sudden?

For answer, he simply had to walk into the kitchen.

The top part of the kitchen door was a small window made out of glass, and it was apparent where the cold was coming in as the glass had been forced outwards, sending a pile of snow plunging through the open gap of the window.

As Shinji gaped open mouthed at this sudden revelation, another burst of icy air hit him full on in the face. It had to be well below freezing out there.

"Damn it," he whispered into the open kitchen. He didn't have the tools or ability to fix something like this right now, and besides, the snow had pilled up in such a large heap that he wouldn't even be able clear it all away without more snow falling through the window.

Resigning to the worst possible outcome, he raced back into the living room to wake Asuka, while one question constantly circled around his head. Exactly how long had they been asleep since the freezing cold had crept into their house? And furthermore, were they in any danger?

Shinji thought this as he quickly nudged Asuka awake.

Opening her eyes abruptly, Asuka seemed to draw the blanket closer to herself, and gazed up at Shinji before saying.

"Shit...why is it so cold in here?"

"The window in the kitchen door has been forced open by the snow. The sealant most have weakened from last year."

Asuka wrapped herself further in the blanket so that the only thing that was poking out was a small portion of her face which included her mouth.

"What about a fire?"

Shinji hesitated for a second before he said, "The fire wood was in the kitchen you know."

"God damn it! ...Don't tell me..."

"Yeah, the snow got the logs wet, its unlikely I can get a fire started. You remember what it was like in the wild when it rained, right?"

"Don't remind me," grumbled Asuka. "You can still try though, right?"

"I could, but I'd rather not attempt it. The temperature has dropped to below freezing in here and I don't want to do anything that would tire me out."

"Then what do we do," snapped Asuka?

"Do what we always use to do in the wild, keep close."

Asuka opened her mouth a fraction of an inch before closing it, "Oh...right."

"Lets move upstairs though. Leather doesn't absorb heat as well as cotton does, and I'll go ahead and grab the comforter out of the closet."

Nodding in agreement, Asuka swung her legs over the side of the couch, inhaling a breath of the ice cold air into her lungs before she said, "Lets move, my teeth are chattering."

Upstairs felt little different then the downstairs, and reaffirmed Shinji's thought that this had started a while ago.

They pulled out every blanket that they had accumulated over the years so that they were crushed under several pounds of warmth. They both also tossed on long sleeved sweatshirts with hoods and were now tucked deeply under the blankets, their heads occasionally poking out for a breath of fresher air. It became stuffy quickly under the blankets.

They were both laying on their sides, facing each other, with their arms wrapped tightly around each others middle. Asuka's face was buried in Shinji's sweatshirt as they lay there, and his was buried likewise in her smooth hair.

Hearing her let out a sudden sigh, Shinji removed his chin from Asuka's head and looked down at her silent figure.

"Something wrong?"

She mumbled something into his sweatshirt which was lost to his ears.

"Can't hear you."

"I said this sucks," she whispered, removing her face to a few inches in front of his chest. "Fucking cold air ruining today and tomorrow most likely. Won't even be able to cook a descent meal."

Shinji frowned at her words, he hadn't thought about the repercussions that this would have on meals.

"It'll blow over," said Shinji reassuringly.

"How can you possibly know that? You're not a weatherman!"

Shinji laughed at her injection of something lost in there former lives.

"I just know it will."

"But how can you be sure?"

"Instinct..."

"Like I'm gonna believe your instincts," mumbled Asuka.

"It'll be fine," said Shinji, drawing her back to his chest.

"Sorry, I'm just can't not be a little worried after...certain events."

Shinji could only guess at what these certain events were, though he had a pretty good idea nonetheless.

"Won't Christmas be ruined if it continues like this?" She said speaking up again.

"I don't see where you got that logic."

"No dinner, no being near the Christmas tree, and no presents."

"I've already told you that I would build an extra room, and my...well, you may as well call desire, hardly counts as a present."

"But what if I were to give you something else-"

"There is nothing that I want more than you. Some object isn't going to cure me of that disease."

Asuka raised an eyebrow at his sudden usage of words, which she felt were rather scornful. "...I'm a disease huh?"

Shinji realizing that she had taken his words the wrong way, hastily corrected himself as he said, "I didn't mean it like that, I ment that I get...irritable if I'm not constantly with you. Its a disease because I'm constantly thinking about you, which is both bad and good. Bad because I know that boundaries are in place sometimes, and my self control is sometimes...not always good."

"I beg to differ," mumbled Asuka.

Acting as though he hadn't heard her, he continued, "And good because I know that we both love each other and nothing will be able to affect that."

Asuka continued looking back at him for a few seconds before she rolled over onto her back and said, "You're still bad at expressing yourself sometimes, you know that?"

"But do you understand what I ment?"

"After having to decipher it...yeah, more or less." Suddenly she smirked and said, "But it was still rather corny."

Shinji let out a sigh and said, "Glad you liked it."

Asuka laughed and rolled back over to face him, brushing her lips gently against his own.

"So nothing else would make you more happy then being with me?"

Her question had barely left her mouth before Shinji replied with a strong, "Nope."

"Not even if I found you a better car?"

"...I like that truck and hope it lasts forever, whether or not I still have it here."

Asuka snorted, clearly unhappy about how attached to the truck he was. Rolling to the other side, away from his face, she said, "You really are hopelessly in love with that pile of scrap metal, aren't you?"

"No...but I'am hopelessly in love with you."

"Stop it, you're gonna make me blush," said Asuka sarcastically while rolling her eyes.

Shinji laughed and tucked an arm around her waist, pulling her towards his pelvis. Quickly realizing where she was headed, Asuka glanced quickly up at Shinji, but saw no sign of a sudden strong surge of testosterone in the way his eyes were looking at her, and let him proceed with holding her as he was.

Willing himself not to become hard, he started kissing the back of Asuka's neck, paying close attention to the neck line of her sweatshirt. Running his hands through her hair, his hands eventually trailed to her cheek were he started lightly drawing a circle on the smooth skin of her cheek. Passing over her moist lips, his index finger paused for a minute as they lightly brushed over her bottom lip, making her squirm in slight frustration at the teasing that he was inflicting on her.

Bending his head down to her neck line, he let his lips pass over her ear lobe, tickling it with his tongue briefly, during which he thought he heard a small moan escape her lips. Continuing to travel downward, he lowered the left side of the sweatshirt she was wearing, passing his lips over her smooth, tanned skin in the grove of her collarbone.

Letting out a small gasp at his sudden nerve, Asuka's entire body twitched as Shinji lips started traveling along her collarbone, eventually ending at the base of her neck. Traveling up the underside of her neck, he lightly brushed her chin with his forefinger, before kissing the spot he had just passed over.

As Shinji paused for a brief instant, to assess where he was, Asuka bit down on her lips so hard that they were in threat of splitting open. Chewing her tongue thoughtfully, she let her eyes travel over his chest and lips, before locking with his eyes. Then she stole a brief glance down at his pants and was rather surprised that she didn't see a giant bulge threatening to break the button on his pants. Biting her lip even more thoughtfully she harshly rebuked the fact that it was her period and most definitely not safe. If it wasn't, she would be biting the button off his pants, determined to reach the prize hidden away in there. She couldn't fathom how much self control he had forced over his head, and had to feel slightly ashamed of herself as she felt the tingling between her legs, and the slight wetness threatening to stain her underwear.

Her train of thought was forced aside however, as Shinji's lips timidly pressed against her own, throwing every thought about precaution out the window as her lips replied against his own. As Shinji felt Asuka's response, he pressed backward with equal force, making her moan deep in her throat, as she haphazardly forced her tongue into his mouth. Finding each other, they quickly wrapped around the other and were soon exploring each others mouth, such as they had not done in some time. Asuka's tongue darted left and right, smacking against the walls of Shinji's mouth, and forcing his tongue along with hers. Switching sides, Shinji was simply content with twirling his own tongue around Asuka's, exploring every angle of his target.

Pulling back from each other at the same time, a thin line of spittle was able to be seen as they separated from each other.

Breathing heavily with her hand over her chest, Asuka took several gasps of breath before talking became bearable.

"...Shin...ji..."

Shinji seemed to be breathing just as hard if not harder, as he looked towards her face and said, "Huh?"

"I think...we should...call it...quits. Admittedly...I'm so excited that I'm afraid I might just dive at you...and rip your pants off..."

Swallowing loudly, Shinji replied, "Its probably a good thing that we stop...I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep my pants on...or yours for that matter."

Asuka laughed lightly at that, before closing the distance between herself and Shinji, though she made sure not to come into physical contact with him. That was a sure ticket to something they couldn't take back.

"That was...invigorating," she finally said.

"Its too warm under here now though."

"And musky," mumbled Asuka.

Crawling out from under the covers, they both felt the icy coldness of the wind pass over them, but really, after being under the blankets for all that time, it didn't feel all that bad.

Turning towards Asuka, Shinji said, "I think we should get to bed. With luck the wind will slow down a little tomorrow and maybe I can patch up that hole in the window."

"Yeah...hopefully. Night Shinji."

"Night Asuka."

And with that, they both rolled onto opposite sides of the bed and immediately fell asleep.

---

When Shinji woke up, he was aware that something was immediately wrong.

When he awoke, he saw that it was still pitch black out, and that from the feel of the cool air against his skin, the temperature had not dropped one degree. Sitting up, he was tempted to walk downstairs to see if the situation had improved or worsened, when he decided to turn and see Asuka laying in bed, covered in blankets. Though something was obviously wrong, something terribly wrong.

For starters...she wasn't even in her bed. Her blankets lay tossed to one side of the bed, and it was apparent that she had gotten up sometime in the night.

Shinji bounded out of bed in an instant, sprinting towards the bathroom where he prayed to God she had gone for a glass of water, and he had simply awoken when she had gotten out of bed. Throwing open the door, it bounced back off the wall paneling and almost hit him in the face, before he caught it.

Realizing that she was most certainly not in the bathroom, he quickly ran towards the steps, hopping them three at a time, almost spraining his ankle as he landed wrong on the bottom step. Skidding into the living room he quickly bellowed her name, though one brief glance at the couch told him that she had likely never even come near it. That left one place...

Spinning around on one foot, he sprinted into the kitchen, nearly dislocating his arm as he barely missed clipping the wooden beam that separated the living room from the kitchen. Seeing no immediate sign of her, he ran to the hole in the door, completely ignoring the fact that his feet and hands were completely numb and that his teeth were chattering. The door showed no sign that it had been forced open, or even attempted at that. Spinning around, he was just thinking of checking the back and front doors when his foot caught something laying on the floor and he almost fell face first into the kitchen table.

Even though it was so dark that he couldn't see his own hand in front of his face, he was still able to pick out the form of Asuka's body lying still on the cold wooden floor. Fighting back the tears that started welling up behind his eyes, he carefully bent down and brought her up to chest height. Two things he noticed: first, was that she was deafly pale and cold to the touch and second: something warm was slowly trickling from the back of her head, matting her hair, something that Shinji heavily suspected as blood.

Shinji could only imagine what had transpired here. For some reason she had gotten out of bed late in the night, and instead of getting a drink out of the bathroom faucet, she had instead decided to walk the narrow, dark, wooden stairs case, into the equally dark and freezing kitchen where she had a large chance of slipping and becoming unconscious.

He recognized the signs of a concussion, and wasn't terribly worried about that. The blood had scared him immensely when he had realized what it was, but then after realizing that it was little more than a large bump, he felt much better. He had been afraid she had cut herself somehow on the way down from her fall, but now realized she had hit the floor rather hard. He knew that she might have headaches and severe dizziness, but it was the threat of hypothermia which greatly worried him. He had no source of hot water for usage.

Knowing that it was unwise to continue standing in the kitchen, as his strength was slowing ebbing away with the constant cold air piercing his skin and lungs, he picked her up in his arms, trying to ignore the way her body seemed to be dangling lifeless, he left the kitchen, and carefully carried her up the stairs, judging each foot fall.

Arriving in the bedroom, he gently laid her down on the bed, after which he ran into the bathroom to rinse some water over a wash cloth. He should at least be able to clean up the blood around the bump and dress it.

"...Son of a fucking bitch!"

Shinji cursed and almost bashed his fist against the counter top as he turned the sink faucet only to realize nothing was coming out. The water pipes had frozen. Now he understood why Asuka had gone downstairs after trying the one here.

Grabbing some surgical tape that was kept in one of the drawers, he quickly hurried back into the bedroom and started wrapping the tape around Asuka's head.

Satisfied with the quadruple wrappings he laid her back down in the bed, and proceeded to pile every blanket imaginable upon her.

The time that passed was unbearably slow for Shinji. He had no idea when morning would come, nor how long she had been down in the kitchen, and that scared him the worst. Several times he thought he heard her say something, but maybe it was just his imagination. He had at least been reassured that she was alive, though not necessarily well. Her body seemed incapable of heating up and Shinji was afraid that the first stages of hypothermia had set in.

Abandoning the chair that he had been sitting on, he sat on the edge of the bed, and gathered her in his arms and held her close against his chest.

"Asuka...if you go I go, you remember that right? We can't live without each other so whatever you do don't leave me. I still what to spend many more happy years living with you as we watch our children grow up. Then I want to grow old with you here and eventually die with you. Then our vows can at least be fulfilled."

Rocking backward and forward on the edge of the bed, cradling her in his arms, he suddenly had an idea. Something that they had done frequently last year when the cold became too much to bear.

Looking down at Asuka's face he wondered what her reaction would be if she knew what he was about to do. He couldn't see anything else that might work though.

Sliding his own clothes off his body, he stripped down to nothing and bit his lip in frustration at what he was about to do. No matter what, even if it was for a good cause, he still felt revolted that he was going to strip Asuka while she was unconscious. It felt too much like rape.

Grabbing ahold of her shoulders, he pulled off the new sweatshirt that he had managed to get her into. The one she had been wearing was soaking wet. Doing likewise with the two shirts underneath the sweatshirt and her pants, he stripped her down until nothing was left to remove except for her cotton, white underwear.

Gulping nervously, Shinji hooked his finger between the clasp of her bra and unfastened it. He had done this a hundred times, and yet he still felt nervous. Trying to ignore the shape of her breasts, or the perkiness of her nipples, he bent down, and for some reason, with his eyes closed, he removed her cotton underpants.

Before anything else happened though, he was going to have to set some ground rules, which ment he was going to have to be in a state of mind that was wholeheartedly abstaining from what his manhood was screaming at him. Taking several gulps of air, Shinji realized that despite the coldness of the air, he was sweating profusely.

'Why the hell am I so nervous," he wondered? 'I have done this plenty of times...though granted, she had been conscious.'

Lowering her slowly back on the bed, he gathered up the covers and threw them over himself, before he slowly lowered his body so that it was perfectly aligned on top of hers.

The lead up had been much worse, as it usually is for nerve-racking things, and what he was doing suddenly felt right. Whats more, he was amazed that he had managed to control his more stronger urges. He couldn't imagine what Asuka's reaction would have been if she had woken up from near hypothermia, only to have something poking at her nether regions.

Sighing dutifully, he grasped her right hand tightly and wrapped his own around hers, entwining their fingers together. Nestling his chin against her collarbone, he eventually fell asleep like that, knowing that when he awoke, she would surely be fine.

---

It seemed that this roller coaster of a night would not stop, as Shinji became wide awake as he felt Asuka stir beneath him.

Quickly moving to her side of the bed, he put the blankets back over her, only allowing himself one very thin and flimsy blanket.

Leaning down towards her chest, he could definitely tell that her breathing was much stronger then it had been earlier.

Again she stirred, and again Shinji felt overwhelming joy soaring through his stomach, but she still did not waken.

After several times of this happening the thrill wore of a little and Shinji brought the chair out that he had been using earlier. He had decided to clothe himself again and was now wearing a pair of sweats, and a long sleeve shirt.

After nodding off several times, he finally lit a candle and starting reading a book that was placed on his bedside table. At least it passed the time.

Night seemed to go on forever, and Shinji soon fell asleep again, though waking up every time Asuka so much as twitched.

After a long bout of going between waking and sleeping, Shinji finally was able to see Asuka wake up.

She rolled over several times, throwing the covers around her as though she was having a bad dream, when she suddenly let a loud groan escape her lips, as her eyes seemed to twitch.

In a flash, Shinji was next to her bed.

"Asuka?"

Unintelligible words escaped her mouth as she seemed to let out a string of profanities and questions.

"Asuka I'm here," said Shinji as he grasped her hand.

Finally words that were recognizable be a human escaped her lips, "Shinji...I feel like shit."

Slowly, her eyes squinted open in a painful gesture. It seemed it was taking a lot out of her just to stay awake.

"Shinji?"

"Right here, Asuka," said Shinji as he squeezed her hand.

Turning towards him Asuka smiled up at him before propping herself up on her elbows. Passing a hand over her aching head she said, "What happened?"

"...I'm not sure myself. But I think you went to get water from the sink downstairs and ended up slipping on the snow."

"...Right, yeah I remember. The water in the bathroom faucet was frozen so I...went downstairs to get something to drink...I can't remember that part very well."

"You may have suffered a concussion."

"Have you been taking care of me this whole time?"

"There was a strong possibility that hypothermia had set in. I am not going to lose you."

"Why am I naked though?" She asked while peaking into the covers, only to see nothing but her skin.

"I sorta...kept you warm with my body."

Asuka raised and eyebrow and said, "Haven't done that since last year."

"I remembered it and thought I'd give it try. It worked apparently."

"...Thank you, Shinji."

"I've told you before, I want to grow old together and die together. Not waste away as you slowly die in my arms and I commit suicide shortly after."

"Please Shinji, thats a little-"

"No...it was. When I discovered you on the floor in the kitchen, I had thought you were dead. Then when I found the blood in your hair, I almost gave up."

"Blood?"

"When you hit your head on the floor."

"Oh...right. Everything is still a little fuzzy."

"You should probably lie back down."

"Probably, but I don't want to yet."

"What do you want then? Though I can't get you anything food related, unless you want cereal...and our water supply is gone for now."

"Nothing like that."

"Then what?"

"...I...Shinji?"

"Hmmm?"

"How long do you think it will take you to finish the extra bedroom?"

"...Three to four months...why?"

"And when would you start on it?"

"Late February, early March...why?"

Asuka bit her lip in frustration, as though she wasn't sure quite what she wanted.

"Asuka?"

"Are we ready?"

"...Huh?"

"Are we ready for a child?"

"..."

"Shinji!"

"I don't know! Are we? Do you think what has happened today qualifies as ready?"

"Today doesn't have anything to do with that and you know it."

"Then what is your point."

"We. Are. Scared."

Shinji opened his mouth in confusion, but then closed it as he realized what her words ment. Yes they were scared to have a child. They enjoyed being able to spend there lives with each other every second of the day. They didn't want the responsibility of a child resting on their shoulders, and after all, this wasn't the best environment to raise one anyway.

What worried them the most was if they could even give birth to a child, and if they did, would it be happy? They had no idea if humans could survive in the world as it was currently. Quite possibly, when Third Impact had been initiated the atmosphere of the world had changed, making it so a new generation of humans couldn't be born and live breathing the polluted air.

And then there was Asuka's worries. Something might have gone wrong with her during Instrumentality. It was something that she questioned after they had taken those risks in the wild. Did they just have a lucky break, or was something wrong with her ability to give birth? Was she no longer able to carry a child?

Shinji knew all this, even if it had never been voiced, it was something that had just been lingering in the back of their minds for a while.

"Asuka...I don't know."

"Look at it this way, if you get me pregnant now, I wont give birth till late summer. Correct?"

"..."

"Shinji!"

"Yes...but how can you-"

"Unlike you, I read other things besides novels. I've picked up a few books about child care since we started living here. Birth usually falls between the eighth month and second week, and the nine month and first week of gestation."

"But thats at the end of summer. Not at the beginning. Fall will start to set in and it will be cold and rainy."

"And," said Asuka completely ignoring his last sentence, "if it takes you three or four months to finish the extra room it should be finished in time for our child. Correct?"

"Yes but-"

"And if you build an extra fire place in the room we can keep our child warm."

"Yes but I don't want to have sex with right after you woke up from a near death state!"

"Shinji, if I have learned something thanks to this incident, it is that we will not be alive forever. If we really are the last humans, and nobody else ever has a chance to return, what do we do then. Live out the rest of our lives as the last humans on Earth?"

"But what if you do give birth and it...doesn't make it?"

"I Want To Try! You can't tell me that you haven't thought of at least trying."

"Asuk-"

"Shinji please, you wanted to know if I wanted another Christmas present...this is it. Just simply be mine for the rest of the night."

"...I can't...you are not well."

"I'm perfectly fine. My head is a little dizzy, and I'm still cold, but we can easily fix that."

"Please don't..."

"You are scared and nervous!"

"I'm nervous for your sake, and besides, even if you do carry our child, how are we supposed to get it out of you without hurting you. I can't do that."

Asuka hesitated, she hadn't thought of that.

"We'll...think of something."

"No we won't. This is over, I'm done talking about it."

"Shinji please..."

"I can do a lot of stuff Asuka, but putting your life at risk is something I could never bring myself to do, even if it is to bring another human into this world. Now go to sleep."

Shinji rolled over onto his side, ignoring the small hiccups coming from Asuka's mouth, and the sound of her silent tears splashing against the pillow.

'How did the night end like this,' he wondered, before he dropped off to sleep, in which he dreamt that he was back in the sea of LCL fluid and that he had never escaped.

---

Morning came much sooner then Shinji would have liked, but at least somethings had brightened up a bit. The wind had subsided down to nothing and Shinji had managed to get a fire started with the wet wood. He had even found a rudimentary cover for the kitchen door.

Asuka and Shinji were being rather pilot to each other that morning, considering the argument they had had last night. Though the subject was soon broached again by Asuka as they sat on opposite ends of the couch.

"Have you thought at all about last night?"

Taking several minutes to reply, Shinji finally put his book down and said, "No, I haven't."

"Why not?"

"Because my decision has not changed since last night. If anything changes, I'll let you know."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Why are you being like this! Just a few days ago you were adamant on not having sex during your period. What changed your mind all the sudden?"

"I told you! Who knows how much longer we can even live here, and survive. In cause you haven't noticed, this years winter was just as brutal as the last. I don't know how many more of these I can take."

"And I say thats bullshit, and bringing a child into this is going to make it better how?"

"Shinji...why can't you just believe me. You said that the wind would blow off and it did."

"That and this are two completely different things."

"You're incredibly stubborn, you know that."

"Gee, wonder who I learned it from," he said sarcastically.

At his words Asuka promptly threw her book down on the table and shouted at him, "THEN MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF I HAD DIED! THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY HATE!"

Realizing that he had gone too far, Shinji said, "Asuka please don't say that. You know thats the last thing that I would ever wish fo-"

"Forget it, just leave me alone," she said as she started storming towards the bedroom.

Meanwhile Shinji shouted back at her, "So what? You would have preferred it if I had fucked you while you were drunk!"

Shinji heard the silent pause in her steps, but eventually they sped up, before she slammed the door at the top of the landing.

Becoming furious with Asuka, but even more furious at himself, he chucked his book on the table, and ran his hands through his hair.

"What a great Christmas this turned out to be," he mumbled

There attitude toward each other lasted most of the morning and well into the afternoon with Asuka keeping to the bedroom and Shinji keeping to wherever the hell he pleased.

He was frustrated at himself for acting like that, it was stupid and rude and he knew he deserved to be kicked in the balls for it.

Mopping around the house took more energy then Shinji realized, and several times Shinji was tempting to force his way through the kitchen door, just to get out and stretch his legs for a bit, freezing or not.

He spent most of his time in front of the fireplace, thinking of everything that had happened last night. The sudden disappearance of Asuka and her walk with death seemed to have dislodged a part of his mind which he was not aware of, until now. Apparently he was an overprotective spouse, at least, that was his excuse. It went a lot deeper then that though.

Several times he had walked to the top of the stairs, attempting to knock on their bedroom door, and resolve this childish issue with Asuka, but each time he got cold feet and started mulling it all over in his mind again.

So once again, he found himself standing in front of the door with his hand poised up to knock on it. It felt like he had been standing in that same position so long that somebody could have painted his portrait, but they would have had to start all over as Asuka swung the door open, only to be greeted by a stony faced Shinji.

Neither of their features betrayed any emotions to the other, and they both had locked jaws waiting for the other to start up a conversation. Eventually Shinji broke the ice by saying, "Can I'm come in."

Without batting an eyelash or showing any change in her emotions, Asuka simply nodded, and let Shinji walk in, always keeping an eye on him.

Shinji walked into the middle of the room and looked around as though it was his first time entering it. It seemed Asuka had her fare share of thinking as most of the blankets from last night were strewn across the floor.

Hearing the door close behind him, Shinji turned to see an unsmiling Asuka with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Knowing what he had planned on doing from the start, he calmly walked up to her and said, "Hit me."

As though waiting for his words, Asuka hand drew backwards, and with the sound of rushing wind, swung forward as she struck Shinji hard across the cheek, leaving a red mark.

"You asshole," she said quietly.

Shinji simply hung his head and said, "I know...I'm sorry..."

"Oh is that what you are? You sure you don't want to call me other insulting names like whore or slut? God knows you seem capable of them after what you called me earlier. I've never been so ashamed of myself in my entire life when I did that to you and you just have to go remind me of that!"

"It was rude and uncalled for and probably something that I can never take back..."

"You're right...I don't know if I can forgive you..."

"I am sorry."

"Save it Shinji," said Asuka with such a scornful look that Shinji thought they had gone back three years to when they first me.

Pausing for a minute, Asuka said, "So? What do we do now? This is hardly something that we can just pass over."

"You can hit me again if you like," mumbled Shinji.

"As much as I'd like to, that won't do us any good. You have any bright ideas..."

"I could leave..."

Asuka was silent for a minute before she said, "No...we can't leave each other, nothing is more apparent then that. It would destroy us from the inside if one of us disappeared."

"I feel like disappearing right now."

This time Asuka really did slap him again.

Touching the red mark on his cheek, Shinji looked at Asuka who's eyes were starting to brim with tears.

"Shinji what is wrong with you!" She finally shouted. "It was like...I was talking to a different person last night and this morning. You were so unlike your usual self. What is the matter?"

"...I know...but I don't."

"What do you mean, you know but don't?"

"Its...I don't know how to explain it...I was like...overprotective."

"What?"

"The thought of losing you at child birth is worse in my mind then losing the actual child."

"Shinji...thats-"

"Horrible, terrible, awful...yeah I know. But it goes back to that disease thing, I'm so damn infatuated with you that I can't imagine anybody else getting between us. I guess I'm...jealous of you wanting a kid."

"You really are going to make me blush if you don't watch it. But you've said before that you wanted a kid to right? With-"

"Yeah I remember. I wanted a baby girl that inherited all her looks from you."

"And I wanted her to have your personality. We even played around with names."

"Alena...wasn't it?"

"...Yeah."

"...What happened to that?"

"I told you, we became scared. After everything sorta...sunk in, we were unsure of the idea of having a kid. Both of us for our own reasons."

"Then you believe that you can give birth."

"I have to believe that I can."

They stared at each other for a moment, gauging each other reactions.

"So then..." mumbled Shinji.

"I don't care about the things that we used to be afraid of. I'm not afraid of them anymore. But for this to work you have to believe me also. Do you believe me Shinji?"

"I..."

"Shinji?"

"I think a better question would have been, how can I not believe you."

Asuka simply beamed at him and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him full on, on the lips. Breaking apart, Shinji hastily said, "And I'm truly sorry for how I acted and what I said. If I could rip out my heart and still live by giving it to you, I would."

"Shin-"

"I was a jerk, a jackass, a bastard, a son of a bitch, and worst of all I was rude to yo-"

Asuka silence him by pressing a finger to his lips.

"Are you done?"

Before Shinji had fully managed to nod his head, Asuka's lips locked fiercely over his and it became quickly apparent how desperately hungry they were for each other.

Shinji responded back with equal enthusiasm inserting his to tongue into her mouth, where his tongue was soon met by hers and together they started to dance and twirl.

Slowly making there way back to the bed, Shinji felt himself become instantly rigid and saw that this had not gone unnoticed by Asuka. Smiling that seductive smile that drove a shiver up his spine, he felt her fingers entwining around the rigid bulge in his pants, running her fingers along and around it as it steadily pulsed, and grew harder in her grasp.

Pushing her backwards against the bed, Shinji fell on top of her, forcing his lips against hers, and parting them effortlessly. A low groan of longing suddenly echoed loudly in Asuka's throat, as she felt Shinji manhood reach it true length, but was cleaning cut off as Shinji's tongue entered her mouth, grinding against her own tongue.

Abandoning the grasp on his manhood, knowing that she'd have plenty of time to play with it later, her hands found themselves entwining themselves in his hair, pulling at it, and running over his broad shoulders.

Accelerating the pace, Shinji's right hand suddenly shot upward, grasping Asuka's right breast in his hand, while his left hand proceeded to find its way across her back. At Shinji's sudden daringness, as he grasped her breast, Asuka let out a shrill shriek of surprise and delight and dug her fingernails into the skin at the back of his neck. He probably had enough scars there to fake getting in over a hundred knife fights.

Towering over her, Shinji ground his hips against hers, creating such an effect that an electric current seemed to pass up from Asuka's nether region, to her brain where she took quick control of the situation. Shattering Shinji's kiss with her own, she pushed him back in to a sitting position, where both her hands flew up his shirt, gliding across his chest as they went, and popped the shirt effortlessly over his head. Quick as a flash, she followed up the removal of clothing with a swift massage of her tongue against his, as she entered into his mouth.

Chuckling deep in his throat at her sudden surprise attack, he conducted his own, as he slid both hands up her shirt, before stopping at both breasts and started massaging them gently.

Asuka showed no sign of letting up her attack as her hands glided smoothly across Shinji's chest, taking in every grove and bump which she so greatly loved.

Pulling back from kissing him, she looked down at the bulge in his pants and had to imagine that it was close to suffocating in there. But it, and her, would just have to wait a little longer.

Taking advantage of Asuka's momentary distraction, Shinji quickly released his firm grasp upon her left breast, swing his arms around her back to where the bra clasp was. His right hand he trailed down the hem of Asuka's shirt and in one fluid motion, he unclasped her bra, and pulled off her shirt, so that everything came off in one go, and he was left with nothing but her breasts in front of him. Continuing with where he left off, he started fondling the left one while suckling on the other one, lapping his tongue around every centimeter of nipple possible. Asuka took certain notice of his actions this time, and her body surged forward as she let out a sudden moan, smashing her pelvis against his, and smashing something else in the process.

Smiling at her reaction, Shinji abandoned the suckling of her right breast and instead started fondling both of them in every possible way. He held his hands underneath them, he held them on top of them, he held them to the sides. He couldn't count the times he had fallen asleep on these.

Several moans escaped Asuka's lips as Shinji continued his routine. Eventually she got control of herself well enough that she started playing with his ear, biting his earlobe, and running her tongue around the inner circles of his ear.

Pausing in the middle of his fondling of her breasts, he brought her face up to her, cupped her cheeks in his hands, and kissed her sweetly. Understanding this for what it was, she pressed with little to no force as they both shared each others passion. It was better then any wine, tastier then all the fruits in their garden, and sweeter then anything they had every tried. They were each others best thing, that one thing that comes only once in a lifetime, and usually lasts for only an instance, in there case, an eternity.

Drawing back from the kiss, they casually fell on top of each other and wrapped their arms around each other half-naked bodies.

Pressing small kisses all along Asuka's chest, he slowly trailed down to her stomach where he paused, resting his head there for a minute.

"What are you think about?" Asked Asuka after a long pause of his kisses not returning.

"About how I'll be able to hear a human heart here eventually."

Bending her head down, Asuka kissed him lightly on the forehead, and laid her hand on top of his.

"I know...after this."

Shinji nodded softly, and sat back up to kiss her.

"You ready?"

Asuka simply nodded.

Very slowly, they started to remove the rest of each other clothing, and Asuka even laughed when she removed Shinji's jeans, and the bulge she was so interested in seemed to spring upwards as though it could finally breath.

Starring at each others naked bodies Asuka asked, "How long has it been?"

"...Almost a week."

"Good. I'm sure to get pregnant."

Shinji simply smirked and crushed his body against Asuka, before kissing her deeply.

Lowering himself onto the bed, he watched as she crouched over him, his manhood firmly grasped in her hand and twitching about what it would soon accomplish. Before that though.

"You're still sure about this?" Asked Shinji.

"Positive," said Asuka never taking her eyes of his manhood.

Shinji nodded, and watched as Asuka lowered herself onto his manhood, felt as the two connected and how he slid inside of her. A low moan of ecstasy escaped her lips as she continued lowering herself all the way to the rigid end. Biting her lip in excitement, she felt Shinji's first thrust reach deeply inside of her, and her hips started doing the rest.

They moved in such a way it seemed as though there bodies had been made for each other, had been tuned perfectly to match each other preferences and needs. Their voices were synced with each other; they didn't need to tell the other what they wanted as it was all spoken in their body language towards each other. Whatever one was feeling, the other was sure to be feeling the same thing.

Eventually, the position became to difficult for Asuka to maintain, and she was soon laying on Shinji's chest kissing him sweetly, as he thrusted inside her. Her gasps and moans came in greater strides, and soon she was pulling at his hair, clawing at his back, and bitting savagely at his ear and lips.

Grasping at Asuka's buttocks, Shinji started thrusting harder and faster, as the friction between the two built up and he could feel the climax approaching. Forcing his lips against Asuka's he felt a loud moan issue deep in her throat as he reached particularly deep inside of her. Sliding his tongue inside her mouth, he searched for hers and quickly found it, snaking his way around it.

"As-u-ka," he said in between thrusts.

Nothing was needs to be said, they both knew it.

Biting down on her lip in anticipation for the finally spurt, Asuka's pelvis suddenly ground against Shinji as he thrusted inside of her. The cry that escaped her throat was both wonderful and surprising to Shinji. It had been a while since she had felt this good.

Moving in unison, they both ground them selves against the other, wrapping each others arms around the other. Shinji's breathing suddenly picked up as his pelvis shot violently forward, grinding inside of Asuka, as he reached the climax, and shot forward inside of Asuka.

Asuka's cry was loud enough to rattle the painting's on the wall opposite the bed, as she leaned forward, smashing her lips against Shinji's and bitting down hard on his lips. Their pelvis's crushed against each other several more times before they collapsed on top of each other, clearly spent.

Panting heavily, Asuka rolled off of Shinji, severing the connection that had been in place several minutes before, and pull the blankets close to the two of them. Falling together in a tight embrace, they clenched each others sweat covered bodies, and pressed soft kisses in every place they could readily reach.

Eventually they became too tired to do anything but lay next to each other with their eyes closed.

"What do you think the chance is?" Asked Asuka suddenly.

"Of what?" Replied Shinji

"Me getting pregnant of course."

"High is my guess, it should be at least."

"I haven't felt that good in a while."

Shinji laughed, "So I noticed..."

"I'm really hungry now though."

"Wow...that was quick," smirked Shinji.

Asuka lightly hit him on the arm in reply to his comment.

"What would you like then, Mrs. Ikari?"

"Funny... Do you think you could get the stove working?"

"If not I'd be more than happy to cook something over the fireplace if its for you."

"Toast is fine for now, maybe some pancakes later."

"As you wish madam..."

"And stop with the servant talk, its annoying," bellowed Asuka as Shinji left the room.

When Shinji left, Asuka got up, wincing slightly as she did and decided that she might as well get dressed.

Pausing at the mirror in the bathroom, she looked at her figure before passing a hand over her stomach.

'Somehow I already know,' she thought before she heard Shinji's voice calling her from downstairs.

Skipping downstairs the first thing she realized was that Shinji had only bothered to throw boxers on, which gave her a strong urge to pick up where they left off. But she didn't think she could handle another round without food in her stomach first.

"I can make you the pancakes now if you'd like," came Shinji's voice from the kitchen as Asuka sat down on the couch.

"Whatever works best," Asuka called back.

"M'kay. I'm hungry myself so I guess I'll make enough for both of us. Any preference about berries in them?"

"Blueberries if we have enough."

"We do."

"Then use them, before they spoil."

"Okay."

Though the house was still fairly cold, the fireplace had certainly reheated a good portion of the house. Turning around to face behind the couch she gazed at the Christmas tree and thought, 'I suppose celebrating Christmas wasn't so bad, and we will have another member of the family next year.

Turning back around, Asuka had to fight the urge to not fall off the couch as she saw Shinji walking towards her, carrying two plates of food while wearing boxers and a white apron over his bare chest.

Smiling, she accepted the food and sat down next to him.

"You already know..don't you?"

"Know what," she asked?

"That we will have a child..."

"Yeah...call it motherly instinct," she replied.

"Wow...we're gonna be parents," said Shinji as the reality sunk in.

"Feels weird when you think what we were doing three years ago."

"Yeah," mumbled Shinji. "But think of what we'll be doing in another three years."

"Another few kids is my guess."

Shinji laughed at that. "I suppose, though at least we will have each other."

Asuka nodded and brushed her lips briefly against Shinji's lips.

"And nobody, nor object will change that."

Asuka nodded at his word, and together, the two of them spent the next nine months waiting for a child who would be born in a small log cabin, in late August, whose hair was the color of strawberries, who was kind and yet could be very stern sometimes, and who would be called Alena Haru Soryu.