A/N: This story is dedicated to Shears. Happy Halloween and "Tag, you're it!"


Sweet, juicy, succulent – a true gift from the Gods, and all mine.

Alexander smiled to himself as he made his way to his private chambers, and what was awaiting him there. He could hardly contain himself with anticipation. Oh, the hours of pleasure he was looking forward to.

He remembered the first time he saw them, his senses taking it all in. He and Buchephalas had rode alone, not wanting to share with anyone but each other.

The smell came first, seductive and sweet, his mouth starting to water greedily. The sight came next. The beauty of them against the green and brown background, shiny and bright in the sunlight. Then he was close enough to finally touch. Firm, round and totally irresistible.

Oh, how he loved apples.

Apple harvest was his favorite time of the year, and recalling that wonderful day when he had rode to get his own private basket of them made him smile and sigh with contentment. They were waiting for him, and only him, back in his room – hidden from prying eyes and hands. He would share all the gold and wealth with everyone around him, but not his apples.

When he finally entered his rooms, he was met by all of his Generals. Frowning at the intrusion of his plans, he asked why they were there.

Hephaestion spoke up and said that they had a surprise for him.

Everyone then parted, and what Alexander saw made him gasp loudly and stop breathing. His wonderful basket of apples was empty. He couldn't believe his eyes – the shock of it was overwhelming. Tears threatened to cascade down his cheeks and anger started to rise from deep within his chest.

When he looked up again, Hephaestion motioned towards a large kettle in the middle of the room. Bobbing merrily on top of the water sat the apples. Alexander finally took in some air and breathed again. His lovelies were safe.

Asking why his apples were in the kettle, Hephaestion said not to worry, no harm had come to any of them. He was grinning sheepishly. All he had to do, he was told, was to take them out of the water. All the apples he retrieved were his, and his alone, but the ones he couldn't get, the Generals could share.

No way in Hades am I sharing my apples, Alexander thought, a frown on his face.

He walked over to the kettle and started to reach in for his precious babies, but his hands were suddenly pulled back and tied securely behind his back.

"You can have your apples," Alexander was told, "but you can't use your hands. Only your mouth."

Alexander's ire was riled up now but there was no way he was letting any of his apples get away from him.

He put his face into the water and gingerly grabbed the first one in his mouth. The empty basket was conveniently placed next to him to collect his prizes. One by one he dipped his face in the water and rescued his floating apples, carefully dropping them back in the basket. He continued until there was only one left.

Feeling quite pleased with himself, he went in for the victorious finish. He grabbed the last apple and started to pull up, but the apple was suddenly pulled back down into the water again. After a couple of attempts, he knew there was some trickery going on.

Finally, he spotted the source: a string had been tied to the stem of the apple and kept Alexander from getting it out of the water. Not to be defeated, he got a good grip on the apple with his teeth and pulled up.

The string pulled the apple back down.

Alexander tried again to pull the apple up.

This game of tug-of-war continued until finally, with one big tug, the apple rebounded and sunk to the bottom of the kettle, taking Alexander with it.

Several moments passed, and then with a big splash of water, Alexander came out with the apple in his mouth, soaking everyone around him. Everyone was laughing and cheering, patting him on the back. Alexander dropped his last apple in the basket and triumphantly gazed at his audience.

He sighed victoriously, licking the sweet apple juice from around his mouth and chin.

Let them play all the tricks they want, but no one – no one – is taking my sweet treats away from me.