Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and Loveless. Everything canon to Loveless belongs to Yun Kouga and not me. I make NO money off this.
Dedication: Happy first Valentine's Day to my wonderful fiance. We don't get paid until tomorrow so no celebration today, but we at least get to spend time together before I go to work so yay. I love you 3
000
Ritsuka sat in the lecture hall with his therapist and a dozen or so other patients of the Tokyo General Hospital's Psychiatric Ward. There wasn't a pint to being here. He never really talked in group therapy. There was nothing wrong with him, despite what his therapist thought. He knew he had anxiety and depression. What teen, what person, didn't have those kinds of issues at one point in their lives? It wasn't like he'd tried to hurt himself or end his life. Like his brother, he was too prideful to just go and die. Or maybe it was just spite that pushed them to continue living. Who knew? His therapist didn't even believe him about the voice in his head, the other personality harbored deep within him that only came out when necessary or by complete accident. He told him that it was all in his head, that he had just taken his anger, sadness, hatred, and all other negative emotions and shoved them into a personality he made up so he could act on those emotions and not face recourse. He didn't understand that Ritsuka had been frightened beyond words when the voice first spoke to him. He didn't understand that Ritsuka had no memories from when his other-self took over. It was as if the man hadn't really had a degree in psychology and was just doing it for fun.
Thankfully, the therapist at the Ward was willing to listen to him. If it hadn't been for Katsuko-sensei being his therapist in the Ward, he would have been stuck with the other guy. Once she had learned from his files what the other psychiatrist really thought of his problems, she'd kicked him off the case and taken over for herself and would continue to do so even after he was gone. Her practice didn't take his father's insurance anymore, which was why he had had to get a new psychiatrist in the first place. But she was willing to overlook it for her former favorite patient.
One of the girls was crying, going on about how she'd gotten there because she'd used her shoelaces to cut off the circulation in one arm and cut at it with a razor blade at least a dozen times before someone found her. He felt bad for her, but there was nothing he could do or would say about it. He'd only ended up there because his other personality had taken over and had been acting up at school. His therapist had thought that since he was so committed to the act that he figured he'd humor him and throw him into the psychiatric ward to scare him out of faking it. That had obviously worked. Not.
"Ritsuka?" Katsuko-sensei wondered. "You're awfully quiet at meetings. Would you like to try and say something today?"
"Like what…?" Ritsuka asked, speaking the first words he'd spoken in group therapy.
"Anything." Katsuko-sensei found her own voice after a few beats of silence. "How your day's going, what brings you here. A little about you, maybe?"
He hadn't introduced himself beyond his name when he first started meeting, and several people had come and go within that time frame. A couple people he was sitting nearest to were new. One was scratching at her arms in a nervous tick, and the other was looking around the room like he was seeing it for the first time every time they met.
"Um…I don't…I don't know…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not good with this kind of thing…"
"Well, why don't we start with what brings you here?" Katsuko-sensei gave him a warm smile. "I know you'll find your voice if we give you a direction to go in."
Their first meeting had been filled with silence, their second he'd opened up when she started asking him about the camera sticking out of his backpack.
"Um…I guess…my old therapist sent me here because he thought I was making things up and that being in a psychiatric ward with people with real problems might snap me out of it." He noticed Katsuko-sensei wincing at that.
"That's a terrible reason…" Muttered the girl scratching her arms. "Calling you a liar doesn't help…"
He shrugged. "I didn't like him much…" He paused.
"What did he think you were making up?"
"He…er…I hear things. Sometimes. A lot of the time he's quiet, but sometimes he likes to talk to me or butt into my conversations. Sometimes he even takes over and speaks in my place."
"He?" She cocked an eyebrow.
"The voice…Loveless…that's his name…my therapist…" A pause. "He thought I was just taking all my negative emotions and adding them together into a fake personality. That I used him as an excuse to act out and not get in trouble for it." He shrugged. "Yeah, he's a bit of an asshole, I admit that. But that's not because I want to get away with being an asshole. My best friends…my only friends…are assholes and they get away with it."
The guy next to him giggled, eyes focusing for the first time since he'd been in the room. "At least you can admit it."
"They do too. Very openly. Drove me nuts when we first met."
"How did you meet them?" Katsuko-sensei asked.
"I was dating their cousin." Ritsuka rubbed at his eye. "But…he's gone now."
"Where did…he…go?"
"I don't know. Just up and left one day. Hasn't been back."
Not a complete lie. While he knew he was with Seimei, he didn't know where they'd gone after they fought Moonless in Gora, but he wasn't about to explain that. Though this was honestly the best place to be to talk crazy and not be judged.
"That's unfortunate."
"Just one more person to run out on me." Ritsuka slid down in his seat. "I should be used to it by now, you know? People leaving me alone."
"Why do you say that?" Katsuko pressed.
"That's what always happens." He picked at lint on his sleeve. "Mother…Soubi…Seimei…"
"Your mother is still alive." Katsuko pointed out. "And Seimei…well, that was most unfortunate, but…"
"You know I don't live at home. Mother threw me out. I'm not her Ritsuka anymore, so she wants nothing to do with me. Probably would have killed me if she hadn't thrown me out. And my father…? He was perfectly willing to give me over to whoever wanted to deal with me…I'm just lucky its friends that took me in before he knew I got tossed out…"
"Your mother threw you out?" A boy asked, stopping from counting dots on the ceiling for a moment.
"Yeah." Ritsuka shrugged one shoulder.
Katsuko's lips pulled into a fine line when she saw the look on the boy's face. "I think that's enough or today, Ritsuka. Thank you for sharing."
He nodded, looking down at his feet as she moved onto the next person.
000
Ritsuka lay on his back, staring at the ceiling in his room as he attempted to rest after lunch. He had the option of going to the common rooms with everyone else or going to his room to relax. Often, he chose the solitary confinement of his room. He had a roommate, but he tended to go to the common rooms to spend time with some girl he seemed to like, so he was alone.
"You actually talked in therapy today, I'm surprised." The voice in his head informed.
"Hey, the more open I am, and the more I participate, the quicker I get out." Ritsuka spoke aloud. "I didn't say a lot, anyway."
"You said more than enough, honestly. More than you've said the entire time we've been here. Really, you only talk to me. I'm touched."
"Shut up, Loveless. You're the only one to talk to…"
"You know, if you're going to talk to yourself, you probably shouldn't give it your real name. just saying." His roommate greeted.
Ritsuka startled, almost jumping off the bed. "Geeze, don't do that!" He complained. "That's the name he chose, not me. I don't control him."
"You're the host, so you should." Loveless reminded him.
Ritsuka looked up to the left. "Shut up."
The roommate cocked an eyebrow. "I was wondering why you were here…voices?"
"Kind of…he has a mind of his own…especially when he takes over and…yeah…"
"Oh." He paused. "I see things sometimes."
"You said true name…you're…?"
"Sacrifice. Don't worry, I'm harmless."
"I'm hoping that's not your name."
"No." A dry laugh. He stared at Ritsuka for a moment. "Uh Mika said you spoke in group…I've never heard you talk before, except to yourself."
Ritsuka shrugged. "Make them happy so I can leave, I guess."
"Yeah…" He grabbed a book from his night stand. "I'll leave you two be. Just…know you're not alone in here, okay?"
"Yeah, got it." Ritsuka offered a small smile.
"Does everyone in our world have psychological issue? Seriously, Agatsuma has attachment issues, Seimei is more bipolar than you and your mother combined, Akame's a sadistic little fuck when he wants to be, then there's Zero…" Loveless prattled on as Ritsuka turned to his side to try and nap.
If Loveless took over while he was asleep, so be it. At least he knew how to behave himself, and there were no more activities for the day that he had to worry about beyond homework assistance he didn't really need.
000
The next day in group, Katsuko-sensei tried to engage him again after the rest of the group had finished speaking.
"How about you, Ritsuka? How has your day been?" Katsuko wondered.
"I don't know." Ritsuka rubbed his arm. "Same as any other day, I guess. Nothing really worth mentioning."
"You're certain?"
He nodded once.
"Alright, then I guess we can move onto a group activity…"
Ritsuka almost let himself zone out as the others went on about things that made them happy or things that triggered their worse reactions. He didn't want to be rude and ignore him, just he didn't have much to contribute. Photography and time with his friends making memories made him happy, but he hadn't gotten to do any of that since he was put in the facility. Sure, he called Yuiko after school once or twice a week to get the update and check on her bullying situation. Often, she'd inform him that Zero was taking up his mantle as her protector in his absence. She and Yayoi were the ones to deliver his homework from the school every Saturday and puck up the stuff he'd finished the week before to swap, but he didn't see either of them. He was too afraid of what he'd see in their eyes if he did. Pity from Yayoi, confirmation that anything Yuiko said about how things were going oh so great were nothing but lies meant to stop him from feeling bad about not being there. He wasn't sure he could take the guilt it brought.
He was doing Japanese homework, reading a book about a girl who'd lost her family in a fire and her struggle to come to terms that things would be different now. It hit a little too close to home with some of the things the girl was thinking and saying, but he tried to ignore the nagging pressure in his skull that informed him of that.
"Creepy how much of you I can see in that girl." Loveless informed. "Angry at the world, lonely and not wanting to deal with it…"
"Sometimes fiction is a little too close to reality than we care to admit." Ritsuka turned the page. "Art imitates real life."
"As Kio has said many times…I wonder why it is he and Akira rarely come to visit…"
"They're busy with school and have other things going on. Kio said he stopped in here a few times and they kept telling him he couldn't see me because we aren't relatives."
"To be fair, they're right, though the policy is stupid. He's more of a father to you than Aidien will ever be."
"Kio and I agree, but nothing we can do unless dad signs his rights over to him and Akira."
"Which he'll never do."
Ritsuka nodded.
"I guess…our forced isolation isn't because of us, after all."
000
"How was your day, Ritsuka?" Katsuko asked in group yet again, as if she hoped to get a better answer out of him.
"Fine." Ritsuka paused. "No…that's not it…"
"What is it?" Katsuko asked. "You have an open space here, as always.
"I…I spent half of the day wanting to die, a quarter thinking of how I could die, and the rest…thinking about how much I'd miss on if I did…"
Katsuko seemed taken back by that a little. "If…you were to die…what about the people around you?"
"No one would miss me." Ritsuka rolled his eyes.
"What about your parents, Ritsuka…? Don't you think they'd be upset if you were gone?"
"My father cares more about his new girl and her kid than me. I don't think he ever cared about me, really. He's never exactly been around…" Ritsuka paused. "And mother…? Mother threw me out, remember? She refuses to believe I'm her son…neither of my parents wanted me. We've been living with friends since she threw us out."
"We?"
"Y-Yeah…"
"Who's we?" Katsuko cocked an eyebrow. "Is there someone else with us?"
"In here." He pointed to his own head. "There's…another me. We can communicate at will sometimes…"
Katsuko-sensei blinked, writing on her clipboard. It was the first he'd mentioned anything regarding Loveless to her that wasn't already in his file as a fantasy.
"Is he always there?"
"Of course. If he wasn't…heh, I don't really know what I'd do. He's all I really have." He paused. "He's…he's the pieces of me that I don't like that I hide from the rest of the world…the side I renounce and refuse to believe exists…"
"I can hear you, you know!" Loveless complained.
"But…I'd rather have him there than not, even if he's all the parts I hate of myself. He's my constant, the only constant I have…I mean, we can't talk all the time and sometimes even switching at will is hard. But he's there. He's not going anywhere like everyone else has…no…not everyone…"
"No?"
"Kio and Akira! I don't…I don't know what I'd do without them. I love living with them, I love the freedom and the respect…the warm food and the roof over my head…but I don't get to see them anymore. They're not blood, so they can't visit. I talk with Kio on the phone when I can, but it's just not the same." A paused. 'Right now, they're not there for me because they're not allowed to be. But maybe…what if there ever comes a day when they decide I'm too much of a burden and walk away? When they're going to want to start their own family, and suddenly there's no place for me. My own parents decided they were done with me! What's to stop them from…one day doing the same…?"
"And that unknown scares you, doesn't it?" Katsuko-sensei stopped scribbling to look at him.
"Of course, it does. Who wouldn't be afraid of the unknown?" He laughed dryly, feeling Loveless ready to burst out and take over for him. "They're like the parents I never had. They take care of me and help me when they can and spend time with me beyond saying hello and goodbye. But if they're like parents to me, then what's to stop them from doing what my parents did and run off on me? Everyone does at some point…"
"You mentioned that yesterday, that everyone leaves. We didn't speak much on it but, what do you mean? You're convinced that everyone is going to just abandon you?"
"My parents, my friends? Yoji and Natsuo have family out in Gora, a life out there. They can go back whenever they want. And Yayoi and Yuiko? Sure, they're concerned about me, but they've got other friends and agendas. Yayoi's got the artsy clique, and Yuiko has the child development students. Even if I get out of here and go back there, where am I supposed to go? I don't fit in with any of them. I doubt my classmates even know who I am at this point. I'm on a fast track to nowhere." He laughed for a moment, shaking his head. "And Osamu…she doesn't go to our school, but we're still friends. She's always so busy with the photography club that she didn't have time for anything else. And Soubi…heh…Soubi…"
"Who?" Katsuko wondered.
"We're all drifting apart…" He ignored her question. "And there's nothing I can do about it! What's to say there's not going to be a day when they all decide they're done with me, that they all stop having time to spare for me? Stop going to the park with me, or stop playing Wisdom Resurrection? When is it going to come to the point when there's no room for me in anyone's lives anymore…? Is it going to come out of the blue like mother throwing me away, or Soubi walking out on me? Or will I see it coming, see a slow decline in their presence until there's nothing left…?"
Katsuko was still writing when he stopped. The others around him seemed interested in what he was saying. Part of him wanted to be quiet, but they looked on a couple others' faces made him feel like they understood where he was coming from, maybe even felt the way he did.
"So…you're worried everything will come crashing down around you when you least expect it. That the people in your life now will one day, without reasoning, just abandon you like your parents have done?"
"Well…when you get down to it, sure." Ritsuka blinked. "I mean, when being tossed away is all I've ever known, I can't help but feel like it's all I'm ever going to know…you know?"
She nodded. "But you're not afraid he's going to leave you?"
"Who?" His brow twitched.
"The other you…does he have a name, by the way?"
"Oh, Loveless…" A pause. "His name's Loveless…"
"Where did you come up with that name?"
"I didn't. He came with it." He shrugged. "I wasn't going to question it. At first, I was more afraid of him than anything."
"Afraid of him?"
"It's not like I woke up one day expecting to hear someone else in my head."
"I suppose that could be frightening. Has he ever done anything to harm you?"
"What? No, that wouldn't make sense. I'm the host. If I die, he dies." Ritsuka shook his head. "He's the…the one person I can trust to never stab me in the back or toss me aside when it gets too inconvenient to keep me around."
"He came with the name, you said? Does that mean anything to you?"
"its who I am." A dry laugh. "My true name, true nature…my parents never loved me…my father wanted to get rid of me before I was born, really. I don't think I was ever meant to know that, and I think he regrets it, but I know it's the truth."
"How do you know it's the truth?"
She was ignored.
"Even my ex I lost my ears to?" He pointed to where the neko ears once stood proud. "He never loved me. Just used me for an easy lay and then threw me aside when he found someone better. Yuiko had a silly crush on me for the longest time, but I'm sure she's grown out of it now. And everyone else, they're just friends."
"Do you want to talk about your ex?"
"I'd rather bash his head in with a lead pipe, but I'm pretty sure his girl's father has that covered. Went and got her pregnant while still dating me…then left me for her. Not that I'm disappointed he chose her, because I didn't want to be with him anyway…"
"Then why…?"
"I know I'm losing my friends…I know I've lost my family…I guess I'll just cling to whatever I can when it's given to me until it proves to be too much, and it has to go away."
"I…think we're getting off track." Katsuko tapped her chin with a pen. "But Loveless…you say he's never going to leave…so are you settling for having him as a companion, too?"
"Well, are you?" Loveless questioned. "Come on, keep spitting it out like a fountain."
"Shut up, I didn't as you." Ritsuka told himself, rolling his eyes and looking up to the left again. "I like having you here, but sometimes you need to learn to be quiet…"
"Sheesh, calm down. I'm only teasing."
"Well, it's not appreciated…!"
"Ritsuka." Katsuko drew his attention back to her. "Can I speak to him…?"
Ritsuka shrugged. "Do you want to?" He asked Loveless.
"Not particularly…"
"He says no."
"No, I didn't."
"Shut up!"
"Maybe another time, then?"
"Maybe one on one…he's a pretty private person…voice…personality…whatever you want to call him…"
"You seem to be arguing. Are you alright?"
"He knows I don't like being teased, but he does it anyway. It's something I just gotta get used to, in the end."
"Unless he goes away?"
"I don't want him to." Ritsuka glared. "He's all I got. He's as much a part of me as I am of him." He pulled up his shirt to show his name. "See? We're stuck together…its who we are…"
Her eyebrows shot up into her hairline. "That looks painful, are you alright…?"
"It's like a birthmark, I'm okay!" Ritsuka replied. "It feels real if you touch it, you know. Like it's just another birthmark on my skin. Flat and perfect…" He pulled his shirt down and it his lip. "Its who I'm going to be if I ever come out of retirement…the name I go by. But he doesn't want to bother with that. Not until we can switch freely…so even if he wanted to talk with you…he can't unless it just…happens."
Katsuko-sensei looked confused, but one of the boys looked at him like he was seeing the youngest Aoyagi in a different light than before. Ritsuka had a feeling he was one of them, too. Maybe Loveless was right. Maybe everyone in their world was challenged like he was.
"So…you mentioned a name, but we didn't touch on that."
"Who?" A feeling of dread settled in his stomach.
"Soubi." She checked her paper to be sure. "I tried to ask about him, but you jumped right over that. Who is he? Can you talk about him…?"
"Someone…from my past. I haven't seen him since I was twelve and he was told he had to leave." He shrugged. "He's the one person I trusted as a constant in my life. The one who promised to protect me and love me…broke my heart by leaving because someone else said he had to. Like I said, everyone leaves eventually for one reason or another." He shrugged again, finally looking up from his lap to look her in the eye. "No matter how important, everyone leaves. In the end, I guess I don't care as much as I thought I did…because it's alright if he's there. He's always there…whispering, waiting…guiding me and giving me advice, getting me out of bad situations. He's the one that broke up with my ex, not me." He sighed, wiping at the tears forming in the corner of his eye. "If everyone else leaves…if Kio and Akira want to move on from me, if Yoji and Natsuo go back to Gora and Yuiko and Yayoi stop hanging around me to spend more time with their new friends…then it's okay, because he's there. And he can never leave me. Not when he's stuck up there." He tapped his head. "Sensei…do you have any idea how it feels to know that the only constant person in my life…is the one in my head…?"
She paused, staring at him. "No…I suppose I don't…"
"And for my old therapist to tell me that he's not real, that I made him up for attention or to get away with being a dick…" Ritsuka laughed. "I don't think I've hated a man as much as I hated him…no matter what he believes about multiple personalities, it doesn't matter. Because I know what is and what is not when it comes to my body. We live in here." He tapped his forehead a few times. "We know what our life looks like…no one else will ever understand either Loveless or I because we're the only ones that do."
000
Ritsuka stared up at the school he'd missed so much of since his incarceration in the Ward. After opening up two weeks ago to Katsuko and the others, socializing with them both in and out of group in a way he never did before, she'd decided he'd been through enough and released him into Kio and Akira's custody, no matter how much the director protested that they weren't his family. He'd walked away from that fight with some new curses from Kio that Ritsuka was sure he'd have to use when people pissed him off in the wrong way. It felt weird to be here again, almost like he didn't belong. Katsuko had assured him their weekly meetings would continue in private, but he was welcome to come back for group when he wanted or needed something more. As he shuffled into the building, he decided he'd take her up on that offer as soon as he possibly could. Zero were waiting by the Principal's office when he arrived there. Yoji broke into a grin.
"Hey, crazy! Still hearing voices, or are the meds working for ya?" Yoji greeted.
"How rude." Loveless answered.
"Oh, its Loveless." Natsuo greeted.
"No, it's me. He just wanted to give you his opinion." Ritsuka replied.
"So, you can switch back and forth now, huh?"
"it's not easy, but we've been practicing when I have time. I'm pretty sure Kio and Akira think I'm actually insane."
"Pretty sure there isn't anyone in your family who isn't insane. Your mother and Seimei are just certifiable, and your father's so much of a pushover, I'm pretty sure he's got have-to-please-everyone syndrome."
"That's not a real thing." Ritsuka scolded.
"It is now." Natsuo laughed, holding the door open.
The secretary rolled her eyes at the sight of the twins. "Detention again, boys?"
"Nah, just bringing Ritsuka to get his schedule." Yoji greeted.
The woman broke into a grin. "Ah, Aoyagi-kun, welcome back! I was worried we weren't going to see you again until graduation."
"Yeah, I've been on a vacation of sorts…" Ritsuka replied.
The woman fished a piece of paper from a manila folder. "Your therapist called…she recommended you share most, if not all, of your classmates with friends that understand. I'm not sure how much understanding they do, but you're with the twins except for a couple classes."
Natsuo took the paper before Ritsuka could. "Everything but math and science. Looks like you're in advanced classes nerd."
Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "I'll be sure to keep the homework as far from you as possible. I'm pretty sure your brains would combust from the proximity otherwise."
"Why you." Yoji shook a joking fist that Ritsuka shoved away.
"Well, you boys are free to go." The woman smiled gently. "Oh, and Aoyagi?"
"Hai?"
"Welcome back."
The bell rang to dismiss for the period as the trio felt the office.
"First stop, advanced science." Natsuo shoved Ritsuka towards a classroom. "I'm pretty sure you've got Yayoi in both those advanced classes. Yuiko has Japanese and history with us. We all have art together, so be prepared for shenanigans!"
Ritsuka rolled his eyes as the cackling boys left him alone. He entered the room and went directly to the teacher.
"Ah, Aoyagi-kun, you've back!" He greeted with a grin. "A pleasure to see you again." He handed him a textbook and a packed. "I've been expecting you, so I've prepared everything in advance. Yayoi's partner is out for the week with a broken ankle, so I figure you can work with him for now until we figure everything else out on a more permanent basis. Sound good?"
"Yeah, that words." Ritsuka took the items and smiled gently. "Thanks for keeping me in the loop with things, sensei. It's been…"
"Hey, my older brother was sent to the same place a few years ago for trying to jump off the bridge…" A solemn pause. "I understand things happen. Fi it gets too much for you to handle at any point, please don't hesitate to ask for help. I'm here to help you with the class, but you can talk to me about anything if you see fit, alright?"
"Arigato, sensei."
He nodded. "Ah, Shioiri-kun! There you are. Look who's back!"
"I heard from the twins." Yayoi adjusted his glasses before giving Ritsuka an awkward one-arm hug. "Good to see you. How are you feeling?"
"Better…got some things off my chest, and my old therapist off my back. He was a nut job."
"Irony at its finest."
"You're right there."
Yayoi led him to their desk. "Sensei told me we'd be partners, so I'll catch you up to speed."
"Sure…does Yuiko know I'm back?"
"Not that I'm aware of. I think the twins want to surprise her with it, so I don't think they told her. I know I haven't because I didn't know if you wanted anyone knowing."
"I wasn't sure when exactly I'd be back, so it makes sense to keep it from her just in case plans changed."
"Yeah. At least we have art next, all of us, so we can take her attention away fi it gets to be too much."
"Which it probably will. Bubbly little airhead."
"Oh, there you are. I was worried you died." Ritsuka told the voice.
"Bullshit. I can't die unless you do. You're the host, remember?" His tone was mocking, condescending.
Ritsuka just laughed. "Yeah, keep it up, dipshit."
"Um…who are you talking to?"
"Oh, him." Ritsuka tapped on his head.
"A voice…?"
"My other personality…he doesn't come out a lot, but we can talk. He's why I got sent away in the first place. Therapist refused to believe he was real and thought it would scare me out of my act to be sent to a psychiatric facility for it."
"I see…well try not to do that too often. I mean, I don't mind, but some people…"
"I know."
The bell rang as the rest of the student body filed in, some students welcoming Ritsuka back and a couple more offering condolences bout his breakup with Taku right before he left. He gave his thanks but mostly let the comments roll off his back. No point in focusing on the past when he had a future to build.
000
The shriek Yuiko let out when she saw him in their classroom could have shattered glass. She threw herself at Ritsuka, who now came up to her shoulder thanks to his increased height.
"Ritsuka-kun! You're home! You're here! I was so worried about you…!"
"Y-Yuiko…! You said I…?"
She nodded, grinning. "I've bene trying really hard to say I for you, even when you're not here."
"I…I'm impressed."
"Arigato!"
Yoji stuck his pinky in his ear and shook it. "I think I'm deaf."
"Great, then you'll be twice as loud because you can't hear yourself anymore." Ritsuka rolled his eyes.
"What? What did you say?" Yoji yelled.
Natsuo smacked him. "Not so loud, idiot! You gave me a headache, and you know that's impossible!"
Yoji cackled, leaning back in his chair. "Always happy to be of service, Natsuo!"
Natsuo slapped him, which led to Yoji slapping back, and soon the two boys were wrestling around the floor.
"What a couple of idiots." Loveless told Ritsuka.
"You can say that again."
"No one said anything?" Yuiko cocked an eyebrow.
"Oh, I'm talking to myself…kind of…" He tapped his head. "Well, him."
"Someone is in your head?" Yuiko wondered. "Is that why you went away…?"
"Y-Yeah…kind of…"
"Oh. I'm sorry that happened to both of you!"
"Both of us?" Ritsuka was surprised. "You're not…like you're not worried or think I'm making it up…?"
"Why would I think you did that?" Yuiko wondered. "I learned about that in psychology class! Besides, if he's another you, that just means there's more of you to love!"
"Yuiko!" Yayoi scolded, rolling his eyes.
Ritsuka blinked. The twins may have been huge pains in his ass. And Yuiko was a bit ditzy. And Yayoi was moving up the food chain around the school. But…they were there. They knew about Loveless and didn't care. They supported him and just cared that he was there. Not that there may be something wrong with him. He had to laugh.
"They're…they're not going to do what my parents did…Kio and Akira aren't either…" Ritsuka told Loveless, whispering to him inside their shared psyche. "No matter what…they know I'm broken, and they still want to be around me…"
"See, idiot?" Loveless wondered. "Stop thinking you're alone when you're not. I'm here, they're here…who knows, maybe even Agatsuma will come back one day. But they're not going to just abandon you. They've invested too much into you to just dump us aside like day-old trash."
"You're right…"
"Ritsuka?" Yuiko put a hand on his shoulder. "You're spacing out…are you alright?"
"Oh, sorry…yeah, I'm fine, Yuiko…finer than I have been in a long time…"
"That's great!" She grinned. "You're…you're sure, though, right? You're not just saying that, so I won't worry?"
"I'm not. I'll be fine."
"Feels good to be back, doesn't it?" Yayoi wondered.
"Yeah." Ritsuka chuckled.
"What's got you so happy?" Yoji asked.
"I just…" A pause.
"What?"
He broke into a grin. "I'm not alone anymore…"