Dark NightsMen Don't Cry

by HyenaAA

Hank, Dale, Bill, Boomhauer and Kahn are off to the biggest Ford Mower event of the year, only to become stranded at the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere past the midnight hour. When a stranger arrives to help, they find themselves lost in a hell fighting for survival and dignity from a gang of sick fucks.

1. Chapter 1

Dark Nights/Men Don't Cry

Chapter 1/INTRO

"Hank, I don't see why you can't just leave in the morning!" Peggy complained again.

"Because, Peggy, the traffic! The Ford mower event attracts a lot of people to Dallas. It's just smarter to leave the night before" said Hank for the umpteenth time.

"It just seems unnecessary, everything's packed, you could just set the alarm for 6!" argued Peggy.

"that's what everyone else will be doing! And the guys are already packed and ready to go." said Hank.

As if on cue, a car honked outside.

"Dang, Dale's fast when he's excited" said Hank.

"Bye Dad! Have a good lawn mower party thing!" exclaimed Bobby.

"You be good son, take care while I'm gone" said Hank. He turned to Peggy, who continued to glare at him with her arms crossed.

"Oh come on, Peg, I'll be back in two days, it's the ford mower event of the year!"

Peggy sighed, then smiled.

"there you go!" He said.

She leaned in to kiss him, but he blocked her by sticking out his hand, "woah, Peggy, the boy's right there, just a handshake" he whispered.

Peggy looked shocked for a second, sighed, and shook his hand.

"See you in two days" He said.

"Goodnight Hank" she said coldly.

He grabbed his suitcase and stepped out the house into the crisp night air. The moon was full tonight, illuminating the night. It's only competition was Dale's Dead bug Vans headlights, shining directly at Hanks house.

Dale honked the horn again, "Come on Hank, get in!"

"Easy Dale, you'll wake the whole neighborhood!" Hank shouted, hopping into the passenger seat.

"We're going to the mower show, We're going to the mower show!" Bill sang off key from the back of the van.

"Yeah, man, vroom vroom, down to Dallas!" Boomhauer mumbled, leaning against the other wall of the van.

Kahn sat in between them, looking rather displeased, "Can't believe stuck in Van with redneck hillbillies, but it's all worth it for the FORD MOTOR EVENT OF THE YEAR!" Kahn whipped out two FORD streamer flags and began waving them around the van.

"Woah, easy there Kahn, save some for the mowers!" exclaimed Hank. He checked his watch. 11PM.

"And away we go!" Dale shifted gears to reverse, sped out the driveway, shifted to drive and sped off down the road.